Justin sat behind the studio’s mixing board with JC on his left who was currently adjusting the equalizer’s settings. They’d just wrapped up vocals on a song for their new album and had broken for lunch. The other guys had gone across the hall to the lounge where greasy bags of fast food were waiting for them.

But he and JC were caught up in smoothing out the vocals with the instrumentals that they’d created a few days ago. They’d been back in the studio recording for nearly a week now, and things seemed to be getting back to normal. JC was as much of a perfectionist as ever, and it made Justin smile as he watched him fiddle with the controls. For a while part of him had thought they’d never make it to this point.

“Too much,” JC mumbled to himself, pushing one of the controls down to a lower level. Justin grinned and pushed it back up to where it was, causing JC to sigh and look over at him. “Justin.”

“What?” Justin asked, innocently.

“You know what,” JC said. “I just fixed the bass and you moved it back to where it was.”

“I was just trying to give the song a little extra kick,” Justin replied, still grinning. He loved to work with JC, but sometimes he liked to play with some of the controls. Just to see how the song would sound with something different. It normally drove JC crazy when he did it, but he could get away with it once in a while.

“I’ll give you a little kick,” JC muttered, turning back to the mixer, but he was smiling. Then he paused briefly to reach into his bag that was sitting by his chair and pulled out a jewel case. He held it out to Justin with one hand while his other tapped out the beat against the side of the mixer. “Here.”

Justin took it off of him, knowing what it was. “Been writing again?”

“Yeah.” JC shrugged and nodded. He glanced at Justin before returning his attention to the playback on Joey’s vocals. “It helps.”

Justin just nodded, knowing that was true. This was something JC had been doing for the past couple months. He would fill a CD with songs that he’d written and recorded about his feelings about what’d happened before giving it to Justin. The first time JC had given him a CD full of songs, he told Justin that he could either keep it to himself or share it with the guys. Justin usually listened to it before passing it off to whoever he saw right after because the guys deserved to hear what JC had been writing about.

That was definitely improvement from before when JC refused to even show them the stuff that he’d written about with the demons, and Justin was glad. Writing was helping JC by letting him get it all out, but he wasn’t keeping it a secret anymore. He’d certainly grown a lot in the past few months.

Justin remembered when Lance had first told them about his plan to sell his house and stay at JC’s. Lance had also explained that they were to give JC his space and not constantly bombard him with questions. There’d been no objections from Chris or Joey. They both had felt that Lance’s plan seemed like a good idea, especially since they hadn’t wanted to try therapy right away.

That was something Justin agreed with, especially since he’d fought with the guys last time they’d brought Derek over to talk to JC. But he hadn’t exactly agreed with all of the details about Lance’s plan. He hadn’t brought it up then because they’d seemed pretty set on the idea, and there hadn’t seemed to be any major flaws with it.

So the four of them had moved out of Lance’s house. They’d helped Lance move all of his clothes and other small stuff into JC’s house before Chris and Justin returned to their own homes. Justin had sat in his house for two days not knowing what to do with himself. He’d gotten so used to having the guys around that it’d been weird going back to not seeing them every day.

Just after lunch on the second day Justin had been bored out of his mind and had called Chris to come over and shoot some hoops with him. He and Chris had played a few games of Horse while they’d talked about how JC was doing. And it’d been then that Justin had told Chris his feelings about Lance’s plan.

“I just don’t understand why it had to be Lance. I mean, why couldn’t I take care of JC?” Justin asked.

Chris hadn’t looked up from where he’d been dribbling the ball. “Because Lance is the better choice.”

“But why?” Justin pressed.

“He’s got a real reason to be there,” Chris said.

“JC knows why he’s there though,” Justin pointed out. “So I don’t understand why I couldn’t have done it.”

“Because we’re too emotionally involved when it comes to him.”

Justin stared at him. “What?”

“Oh, c’mon. You know Lance is the best one for this because he has the most patience.” Chris paused. “And why are you so worked up over this? I mean, Joey’s not as bad as you and he wasn’t even around for everything that happened.”

“Well, maybe Joey doesn’t care about JC.”

Chris narrowed his eyes. “You don’t mean that.”

“You’re right. Joey’s amazing with the way he can give people space, but I don’t know how he does it. I’m going crazy thinking about JC,” Justin said.

“Then stop thinking about it.”

“Haven’t you thought about it?” Justin asked. “Don’t you want to know what’s going on?”

“Yeah. That’s why I talk to Lance two times a day,” Chris said.

“You what?”

“Just to check in. I even talked to JC once.”

Justin had stared at Chris in surprise and anger because he’d thought they weren’t supposed to be bugging JC. Chris had insisted that he only really talked to Lance, and that when he had talked to JC, it’d only been for a minute. But Justin didn’t care. If Chris had been checking in, then he was going to do the same.

So the next day Justin had driven over to JC’s house and had rung the doorbell. The door had opened a minute later to reveal Lance, and right away Justin had been able to tell that something wasn’t right. Lance had tried to deny that there was anything wrong, but it’d just further reinforced Justin’s belief that there was.

Justin told Lance that he knew something was up, and that was when Lance had admitted that he didn’t know what to do about JC. Lance had confided that JC had spent a lot of the past couple days in his basement studio. But Lance hadn’t gotten any farther than that because Justin had abandoned him to bring JC out of his studio.

As soon as he’d walked down the stairs, he’d been able to see the toll that spending a couple days in the studio had had on JC’s body. He’d looked exhausted, but he’d smiled slightly when he saw Justin. They’d exchanged a few words and Justin had managed to coax JC to go take a nap. But before they’d left the studio, JC had handed Justin a CD full of songs that he’d recorded. And that’d been when the receiving of CDs had started.

Once Justin had put JC to bed, he’d gone back downstairs and argued with Lance about how he’d handled JC. He’d accused Lance of lying to Chris because Chris had thought that everything was OK. Lance had insisted that he hadn’t lied; he’d just downplayed JC being in the studio, but that he’d been prepared to do something if it’d lasted much longer.

Justin had gone on to say that he’d thought Lance was doing a pretty shitty job of handling JC. He’d demanded that Lance call him next time something was going on with JC. When Justin had left, he’d felt bad for yelling at Lance. But he hadn’t been able to help it because he’d wanted to help JC and had been frustrated that he’d pretty much been told to stay away.

Though, Lance had heeded his request because a week later Justin had gotten a call from him saying that JC had a freak out. Justin had immediately dropped what he was doing and raced over to JC’s. It hadn’t been serious, but he was still glad he’d been able to help JC work through some of the stuff he’d been feeling.

That’d happened a few more times over the next month and a half. But now it seemed to have stopped. JC had come a long way in such a short amount of time. It was easy to see now that they’d made the right decision to hold off on therapy. Justin shuddered to think what might’ve happened if they’d tried to force that on JC, especially considering that Lance’s plan had worked out pretty well.

“Are you guys going to come eat or what?”

Justin jumped, startled out of his thoughts. He turned in his swivel chair to see Lance standing just inside the door. JC looked up at him too.

“I could eat,” JC said, turning a few dials. Once he was finished, he stood up and walked across the hall to the lounge.

Justin and Lance exchanged smiles as they watched JC sit down between Joey and Chris before grabbing a burger and fries. It was nice to see JC eating like he used to, and it definitely showed. He’d gained some weight over the past couple of months so he didn’t look as gaunt and weak as he used to.

Tearing his eyes away from JC, Justin looked over at Lance and said, “He looks good. But how’s he really doing?”

“Actually, really well,” Lance replied.

“Yeah?”

Lance nodded. “The nightmares have all about stopped, and he seems to have reached a point where he doesn’t need me there anymore.”

“So are you moving out then?” Justin asked.

“I was thinking about it, but I changed my mind,” Lance said.

Justin frowned. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Lance said.

“Something,” Justin insisted. “Why’d you change your mind?”

Lance sighed. “It’s JC.”

Justin’s heart rate increased. It was stupid because if it was something serious Lance would’ve told him before now, but he couldn’t help it. They’d been through so much with JC that even the small stuff seemed like a big deal.

“What happened?”

“I told him I was going to start looking for a new house, and he didn’t really take it well,” Lance said.

“What do you mean?” Justin asked.

“He went on about how there was no rush. That I could take my time and to not worry about feeling like I’m mooching off him,” Lance explained.

“And that’s what changed your mind?” Lance nodded and Justin said, “I don’t understand. I mean, that sounds like something he’d say to any of us if we were staying with him. How is that alarming?”

“I never said it was alarming,” Lance corrected.

“You didn’t have to,” Justin replied. “Now what’s the big deal? Why don’t you want to move?”

“Because JC doesn’t want me to.”

Justin’s forehead crinkled. “He told you that?”

Lance shook his head. “I could just tell.” He paused. “I think JC’s afraid of being alone.”

“Why?” Justin asked. That didn’t sound like JC. He usually liked to be alone, so it was odd to hear that Lance thought he was afraid of something he was so used to.

“I think he’s afraid what he might do if no one’s there to stop him,” Lance said.

“But I thought you said he was doing better?”

“He is,” Lance assured. “But he still has the occasional nightmare and days where he gets depressed. And I think he’s afraid that he might hurt himself if he’s left alone.”

“You can’t stay with him forever,” Justin pointed out.

“I know, but not that much time’s passed. I mean, he’s starting to believe it’s over since three months have gone by without anything happening.” Lance sighed. “Look, it isn’t permanent. I’m just going to stay a bit longer while he’s still getting used to everything.”

“Hey, I don’t have a problem with it. I just want what’s best for him, and if you think he still needs or wants someone around then I’m fine with it,” Justin said.

Lance just nodded and a few seconds of silence passed before he said, “C’mon, let’s go eat. It’s probably getting cold.”

They crossed the hall and entered the lounge to hear JC saying, “You just said it was a smiley face.”

“Well, then it’s a smiley face Frisbee,” Chris replied.

“But it doesn’t even look like a smiley face!” JC cried in frustration and Joey laughed at him.

“What doesn’t look like a smiley face?” Justin asked as he and Lance sat on the floor on the other side of the coffee table across from the other three.

“Chris’s ketchup drawing,” Joey said, pointing at the round blob that sat on the white napkin.

Justin scrunched up his face as he looked at it before he grabbed one of JC’s fries and swiped it across the ketchup drawing.

“My drawing!” Chris protested with a bit of dramatization.

JC rolled his eyes. “It was just ketchup Chris.”

“I’d like to see you do better,” Chris said. He reached into the McDonald’s bag and pulled out a ketchup packet before offering it to JC. “Here.”

“I’m not drawing with ketchup,” JC objected.

“I have a pen,” Joey volunteered, swiping one off an end table that had some magazines and crosswords stacked.

JC accepted it wordlessly and pulled a clean napkin towards him. He just put the pen down on the rough material when Justin put a hand down to stop him.

“If we’re going to do this, we should do it right,” Justin said.

“Yes!” Chris pumped his fist into the air. “J, you’re on my team.”

They divided into two teams. It was Justin, Joey, and Chris against JC and Lance. JC was supposed to go first, but Chris had demanded that his team go first since it was their idea. So Joey was currently drawing. The category was things you’d find at the zoo.

“Tree!” Chris shouted.

Justin looked at him as if he just sprouted another head. “No way. It’s clearly an ice cream cone.”

“You’re both wrong,” Joey said.

JC scrutinized the picture and exclaimed, “Oh! I know it!”

“C’mon, guys.” Joey waited and when all he got was blank stares he sighed and added some musical notes.

“A microphone!” Justin said, confidently and Joey nodded his affirmation.

“I like that none of you stuck to the category,” Lance said.

Joey frowned at him. “What are you talking about? Yes we did.”

“Trees and ice cream I can see, but a microphone? C’mon, Joey,” Lance replied.

“They use them in their shows!” Joey defended before he shook his head. “Whatever. Your turn.”

JC and Lance glanced at each other for a second before JC started to draw something onto his napkin. He’d just drawn a circle when Lance shouted, “Turtle!”

“Yep,” JC confirmed and high fived his partner.

“Cheater!” Chris accused, pointing at them. “How the hell did you get turtle out of a circle?”

“Well, it’s found at a zoo,” Lance said, shrugging.

“So’s a table and a rock,” Justin pointed out. “It could’ve been a million different things.”

“Yeah I mean for you to be able to know what he was drawing just from a circle you’d have to be a psych—” Chris stopped abruptly before he stood up and cried incredulously, “You used your connection, didn’t you?”

JC and Lance didn’t say anything, but smirked at him.

“You dirty rotten cheaters!” Chris exclaimed again.

JC laughed. “You asked for it, man.”

“Yeah, well, I call do over since you had an unfair advantage,” Chris said.

“Fine, but I’ll still kick your ass,” JC replied, a smile still present on his face.

Justin watched his two older friends argue about how they were going to resolve this so it was fair and smiled. Seeing JC smile and laugh was a far cry from when he’d wanted to kill himself just months ago. It looked like he’d finally decided to put what’d happened behind him and enjoy living again.