As I’m driving to my mother’s house my phone starts playing “Why You Wanna” by T.I and I know its Justin. That’s what I get for letting him play with my phone. I sigh before I answer the phone.
“Hello?” I say
“Hey Tink where are you?” He asks.
“Um I’m on the freeway to my mom’s house. Did you get my note?” I ask
“Yea I did and your message that’s why I was calling you. Are you ok Tink? You sound like you’ve been crying.”
I take a deep silent breath. “Yea J I’m fine. What was it that you wanted exactly?” I ask.
“Well I was just trying to find out if you were coming back here but I guess you’re not.” He says in a somewhat disappointed tone.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t sure how long I was going to be and I didn’t want anyone to be late so just give the driver the address and you’ll be fine. I’m sure I’ll get there before you guys so you won’t have to worry that I’m leaving you guys out there like that.”
“Ok well then I guess I’ll see you when we get there.” Justin says still sounding a little unsure and hurt.
“Yea you will.” I say getting ready to hang up.
“Hey Tink before you go I just want to make sure you’re really ok.”
I feel myself start to get frustrated but I don’t know why. I take another silent breath before I answer. “Of course I’m fine. Why do you keep asking me that J?”
“Do you realize that’s the second time you’ve called me J while we’ve been on the phone?” He asks. “You never call me J. What’s going on Tink?”
I silently cruse myself. This is how people get caught cheating. And that’s exactly how I feel right now. Like I’ve cheated on Justin. I feel the tears rolling down my face. I’m trying not to give myself away and let Justin know that yes I actually am crying. I try to compose myself before I answer him but I’m taking to long.
“Angelina what’s going on? How far are you from your mother’s house?” He asks starting to sound a bit historical.
“Justin I’ll be fine. I’m not that far from my mom’s house. Just go ahead and start heading there now. I will see you soon. Ok?” I say
“Yea ok but we’re going to talk later.” He says and I know there is no real way I’m going to get out of having that conversation with him. We hang up and 15 minutes later I’m pulling into my mother’s driveway.
I see Renee and her best friend Tamara sitting outside no doubt gossiping. As I turn the car off she jumps up and starts heading my way. I try my best to fix my face so she won’t ask me a hundred and one questions.
“Angi!” She squeals but stops short as she approaches me more. “Angi what’s wrong? Are you ok? Did somebody hurt you?” She asks in one big breath.
“I’ll be cool is mom here?” I ask
“Yea she’s fixing dinner. Why?”
“I was just asking I’m gonna go take a shower Justin and the rest of my friends should be here soon so if I’m not done by the time they get here could you entertain them for me? Oh yea and Mia is coming by too.” I say heading in the house.
I yell to my mom that I’m here and that I really need to take a shower. I defiantly can’t let my mom see me like this. Then the thought occurs to me to make sure my sister doesn’t say a word to my mom. So I go back outside. “Don’t you dare tell mom what I looked like when I got here and tell Mia to come to my room when she gets here.” I say and close the door back.
I’m not sure how long I was in the shower but when I come out Mia is sitting on my bed. “Girl your phone rang like 6 times while you were in the shower. I answered it once and it was Justin he said they were running late waiting on Elisha to come back but he said they should be here shortly.” She says while I walk over to my phone to see if Justin was the only one calling me and I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that he wasn’t and that most of the calls were from Toni.
I can feel Mia staring at me. “What’s wrong?” Was all she said while she watched my back. Even then I could feel the tears forming. I slowly turned around when my cell phone rings again and no surprise there its Toni. I can’t do this right now. I’m not in the right frame of mind to talk to her. So I push ignore and plop down on the bed next to Mia.
“I think…. No as a matter of fact I know I just made a huge mistake.” I say taking a deep breath. I can still feel Mia’s eyes on me but I refuse to look at her. “I went to see Toni this afternoon.” I whisper.
“Why did you go do a thing like that?” Mia asked.
“I’m still not sure. I mean we’ve been getting along great talking on the phone and when I did see her in Atlanta a little while ago it was nice. I didn’t think it would be a problem.” I say
“What did you two have a fight or something?”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “No I had sex with her.” I whisper.
Mia gasps before she says anything else. “You what? How in the hell could you let something that crazy happen? No wonder your damn phone has been blowing up. Why in the hell would you go and do that. All she’s going to do is hurt you.”
Before I had the chance to say anything else I hear Renee’s excited voice downstairs. “Angi they’re here they’re here.” She sounds like some 5 year old. I throw on a sundress and head downstairs with Mia right behind me.
As soon as I get to the bottom of the steps I see Justin Trace and Elisha making it to the door. I don’t even let them ring the doorbell I just swing the door open and greet them all. I try so hard not to look Justin in his eyes because I know once he does he is going to see right through me and I know that I’m not ready for that in the least. My mom comes into the front foyer and I’m trying to get everyone into the living room so that I can do that whole introduction thing and stuff.
After I go around and introduce everyone my mother commences to embarrassing Justin and myself to no avail. “So you Mr. Timberlake mind telling me why you were answering my daughter’s phone so early when I called. You very much sounded as if you could have been sleep.” She smiles.
I see Justin turn a little red. “Mom could you please not?” I whine. I see Renee and Trace laughing some. “I’m just teasing honey. Well you kids can talk amongst yourselves as I finish up dinner.” She says as she makes her way back to the kitchen.
I can feel Justin looking at me but I won’t look at him. I refuse to because I know that I would break down and cry. Yea I know I shouldn’t be feeling so horrible I mean I don’t owe Justin anything. He’s not my man but I still feel so guilty. Could I care more about him than I want to admit? Mia is also staring at me, more than likely pissed at the fact that I did what I did. None of my friends care much for Toni anymore. After some more small talk I excuse myself so that I can have a moment alone.
Once back in my room I see that Toni has called a few more times and I know she’s not going to stop calling until I answer my phone so I just go ahead and bite the bullet and call her back. She answers after 4 rings.
“Damn it’s about time. Where you trying to avoid me or where you really that busy?” She asks.
“You called for a reason.” I state.
She’s quite for a moment. “What’s wrong Angi?”
I sigh. “Look Toni I have company downstairs and I don’t want you blowing up my phone all night.”
“Why you acting all brand new on me? Just a few hours ago you were all flirty with me and having fun. Now you wanna act like I’m a problem.” She says with a hint of an attitude.
I sigh again. All this time I was having these conflicting feels about Justin and Toni and when I have sex with Toni I feel guilty, but even with the few minutes Justin and I were intimate I never once felt like this. “Toni I think we made a mistake.” I say admitting my feelings.
There’s silence. Then Toni starts laughing. “You think we made a mistake? That’s funny cuz just a few hours ago you were screaming my name and begging me not to stop.”
I feel like I’m about to be sick. “You are such an ass Toni.” I say and then hang up the phone. I want to throw it across the room but suddenly there is a knock at the door. I huff a come in.
“Don’t you think you’re being rude leaving your new friends down there all alone?” Mia asks with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.
“Please don’t start with me Mia. I already feel like shit. I’m asking you as my friend not to start with me.”
Mia takes a breath. “For what it’s worth you shouldn’t feel guilty. You guys aren’t in a relationship and you don’t owe him anything nor do you owe Toni anything. You were up front with both of them. So stop worrying about it.” She says sincerely. It makes me feel a little better despite with that smug ass comment Toni just made. Despite that I smile.
“Thanks Mia. Come on lets go back downstairs.”
