I’m still not sure how my life became the mess that it is. I mean seriously just about a year ago I was totally happy hanging out with friends and being me. Now I feel like some love sick puppy in a matter of speaking. I don’t know if I’m holding on to old memories or if I really do still love Toni and lets not even get on how I feel about Justin.

But however I feel I really need to get my shit together because sitting in this house and wallowing is unbecoming of me. I chose today to drive up to Jersey and see Mia. There’s a great chance she’s going to yell and scream at me because I’m still being all self pityish, but what ever. I pull up to her apartment complex and jog up the steps. After a knock and waiting for a minute she opens the door a little shocked.

“What the hell are you doing here?” She ask

“Nice way to greet your friend. Mind if I come in?” I ask sarcastically.

She steps aside and allows me to come in. I head straight for my favorite chair in her place. 

“Now what’s wrong?” She asks plopping down across from me.  “Don’t tell me that dinner made you more confused.” She says.

I just sigh and roll my eyes at her. “You’re a real piece of work you know that?” Mia says to me.

“Please don’t start that with me. I need a friend Mia.” I say and I go into telling her what happen when I had dinner with Toni.  After I was done she looked at me very blankly which freaked me out even more.

“What are you thinking Mia?” I ask

After a moment she answers. “Well that wasn’t exactly what I was expecting you to tell me about your dinner with Toni for one thing. I mean now that she’s said it do you love Justin?”

That’s the second time in the last 24 hours I have been asked that question and I still can’t answer it. So what’s really wrong with me?

“I don’t know. I don’t know if I still love Toni I don’t know if I want Justin and I’m just holding on to memories and I don’t know what I should do because if I go back out on the rode and see Justin I’m just gonna crack.” I say

“What do you mean you’re gonna crack? What you think you’ll end up sleeping with him?” She asks

“I’ve already slept with him it’s the sex I’m worried about.” I say slightly sarcastic.

Mia throws a pillow at me. “You smart ass you knew what I meant.”

“Yea I know and yes I am worried about that, but I’m also worried about how Justin is going to look at me.” I say honestly

“What makes you think he is going to look at you any differently especially if he does love you. Those kinds of feeling just don’t change over night Angi. I think the only thing that’s hurting him right now is the fact that he loves you and he doesn’t know how you feel.” Mia says to me.

I sigh again for what must be the 50 thousandth time. I end up in deep thoughts for a few minutes before Mia breaks me out of them.

“If you ask me I think you’re a lucky bitch. You got 2 people who are nobly fighting over you.” She says.

“Only you could bring this back to medieval times.” I say

“Well as much as I don’t care for Toni you gotta admit it’s kinda sweet.”

I sit there for a moment and think it is kinda sweet on both ends. Mia and I sit and talk for a while longer before I get up and leave.

While I’m driving I decide to bite the bullet and actually call Justin. It’s been over 3 weeks since we talked. As the phone is ringing my nerves are on edge. Finally after 4 rings I hear a female answer his phone and she’s giggling.

“Hello this is Justin Timberlake’s phone how can I help you?” She says.

I’m frozen and I can’t say anything so I just hang up. I shouldn’t be jealous or anything we’re not together but I wasn’t expecting that at all. I was expecting Justin smiling cuz he saw it was me calling. My phone starts to play “The Way I Are” by Timbaland and I know it’s Justin calling me back. (I changed his ringer a while back) I want to answer it but I can’t bring myself to reach up to my ear and press the button on my bluetooth.

I decided it’s better not to answer it and I just keep driving. I don’t know where I’m going I’m just aimlessly driving.

Justin hangs up the phone and cruses then turns to face the girl that is smiling on his bed.

“Why the hell did you answer my phone?” Justin asks as calmly as he can.

The girl sitting on his bed is taken aback and her smile falters. “Well it was ringing and I didn’t want you to miss an important phone call…” She says before Justin cuts her off.

“Even if it was an important call you shouldn’t have answered my phone. I want you to get your stuff and get out my room.” Justin says through clinched teeth.

As the girl is getting her stuff together He was trying to figure out what the hell he was doing. All Justin really wanted to do was get Angi off his mind for a little while. So he invited one of the girls from the club back to the hotel. Only problem with that was the whole time him and the girl were together all he thought about was Angelina. After the girl left Justin just laid on his bed thinking. He thought about possibly calling Angi back, but if she didn’t answer the phone the 1st time there was a great chance she wouldn’t answer it this time.