Author's Chapter Notes:
Hey cats and kittens!!! Just dropping you a little note to say that updates may come a little slower now that school has started back up. I WILL be updating so no worries there it just may take me more time that usual. Love you guys!
Thursday nights are busy for the Upper Eastside eatery Southern Hospitality. Justin knew this because he saw the weekly numbers on his desk every Monday but he didn’t quite understand the extent of it until he’d walked through the door nearly twenty minutes ago. The place was packed, every table filled with college kids and tourists, giggling girls excited to be out on the town and tipsy guys who were trying to hit on them. Justin had snagged the only seat left at the bar, crammed between a guy in his early twenties who paid him no mind, too busy vying for the bartender’s attention and a very pretty girl on the other side of him who he was pretty sure was some kind of high class hooker. He’d sat down, unnoticed for the most part aside from the bartender who recognized him immediately but made no fuss of it, just setting a fresh Jack and Coke in front of him without a word.
And so he sits, the liquor burning its way down his throat as nervousness burns in his belly. He checks his watch again, wondering if she’s going to show up. He’d made himself pretty clear over the phone earlier. He’d waited all week for this, planned it and mulled it over deciding which way was best to approach Amelia, which way would be best to get her to understand. He had decided it would be best to start small, something simple and when she’d called to tell him they’d be eating at some flashy sushi place on 73rd he had jumped at the opportunity. He remembered the thrill of excitement that had thrilled down his spine as he’d said no, that he wanted to eat at his restaurant. She had laughed and replied that she’d meet him at Sasabune after work and the thrill turned into dread but he didn’t back down. He said no, he was eating at his restaurant. It’s what he wanted to do so that’s what he was doing. He cringes as he remembers the silence on the line before she’d told him she’d be waiting for him at Sasabune at seven and promptly hung up the phone. He checks his watch again seeing that it’s half past seven. The bartender snatches his empty glass, replacing it with a fresh one and he gives her a tight smile, taking a bitter sip.
He looks over his shoulder, glancing at the door and wondering just how long he should wait. His stomach ties in knots at the thought of her not coming. What would he do then? His mind is a blank canvas, his thoughts stuttering to the end of the reel. Amelia was all he knew any more. She was the first person he saw when he woke up in the morning, the last he saw when he went to bed. Almost everything he did involved her in some way. What would he do if she didn’t show up, didn’t take the hand he was offering? Would that be…the…the end?
He shivers hard, throwing back his drink in one burning gulp. He doesn’t want to think about that. Amelia would be here any minute. She was probably just stuck in traffic or got tied up at the office. Or – he grimaces – she was waiting for him at Sasabune. God he really didn’t want to go home if that was the case. Maybe this was all a bad idea. Maybe he should have just sat her down and talked to her at home. He wasn’t much for public displays and Amelia wasn’t exactly shy about making a scene. For all the thinking he did on this, he didn’t plan it very well. He should have talked to Charlotte first…
Just then a slight hush goes over the crowd, the raucous laughter and chatter dying down to murmurs and Justin turns as everyone else does, finding a sophisticated woman standing tall but awkward just inside the door to the restaurant. She looks around, her large blue eyes blinking slowly, her nose wrinkled just slightly and a sense of relief washes over him at the sight of her. Her eyes meet his and he gives her a smile, which she returns tensely, weaving her way through the crowd and holding her Kate Spade bag to her side like a lifeline. Justin spins on his barstool, leaning back against the bar as she approaches, stopping to stand in front of him, her chin jutting out defiantly as she eyes him disapprovingly but there’s a curiosity in her eyes that gives him some semblance of hope. Maybe this won’t be so bad.
“I waited for you at Sasabune for half an hour,” she says through clenched teeth, her eyes flitting around nervously as she’s jostled by the crowd.
“Funny, I’ve been waiting here for you for half an hour,” Justin responds and then grins at her in what he hopes is a winning way, receiving a withered look in return.
“Why are we here?” she asks, annoyance lacing her words as she scowls at a college kid who bumps into her again.
“To have dinner,” Justin says, smiling triumphantly. “We always go where you want to go. I figured I could pick tonight.”
“Oh did you?” Amelia asks crossing her arms over her chest and the smile slides off Justin’s face as he nods.
“Yeah, I mean, you never ask where I want to eat,” he says, his stomach knotting, his heart thudding in his chest. “You never ask what I want,” he adds softly, his eyes large and imploring, begging her to understand.
“Fine, fine you’ve made your point lets go,” Amelia says rolling her eyes as she turns away and Justin’s brow furrows his hand reaching out to grasp her elbow.
Amelia turns looking at his hand offended and then back to his face. She jerks at the look in his eyes, the intensity of his gaze startling her. He tugs her closer and she stumbles slightly in her heels as he leans to speak quietly in her ear.
“I don’t think I have,” he says, his voice hurt and concerned and she turns her head to look in his eyes finding those emotions mirrored there. “We need to talk, Amelia.”
“Fine,” she spats, ripping her arm from his grasp and he lets out a frustrated sigh, leaning back against the bar, frowning at the scowl on her face, the pout on her lips.
“Are you ready for your table, Justin?”
He turns and the bartender is back, looking at them both slightly apprehensive, tucking her dark hair behind her ear and he’s immediately reminded of Charlotte. Sweet little Charlotte who always let him pick where they ordered lunch, who always tried to accommodate his feelings. He blinks hard.
“Yeah,” he responds standing slowly and the bartender nods, signaling to the hostess who guides them into the large back room where he and his friends used to hold court, drinking into the early morning hours, laughing and carrying on together. That all seemed so long ago now.
Amelia sits stiffly on the wooden chair across from him, gazing around with a mixed look of disappointment and relief on her face. Disappointed they are in a back room and far away from prying eyes but relief at the fact that no one will see her in a place like this. Justin watches her, her perfect face set into a pronounced pout. His eyes roam over her smooth translucent skin, the small slant of her nose, the perfect bow of her full lips. He had to admit the hair cut flattered her, her beauty even more prominent than before but he still didn’t like it. He didn’t need her to be exquisite and perfect, even though she was; he just wanted her to love him, to respect him.
“What?” she asks shrilly and he realizes he’s been staring at her. He looks down, watching his hands smooth across the cool wood of the table. He can’t let her intimidate him.
The waitress comes with water for both of them, asking Justin if he’d like another drink and he nods, ignoring Amelia’s scowl before she orders a glass of wine. Justin watches her for a moment more before clearing his throat, his chest tight with nervousness.
“So about my birthday…”
“Oh so Charlotte did tell you about the changes! Excellent darling you're going to absolutely love it!” Amelia exclaims, her face lighting up and Justin is dazzled momentarily, basking in her happiness. “Your birthday is going to be fabulous. Event of the year… well… besides our wedding of course.” She giggles shifting excitedly in her seat as she opens her menu, wrinkling her nose quickly at the choices inside.
“Yeah, about that-”
“Of course everyone is going to be there. Charlotte’s going tonight to pick up the gift bags after her fitting.”
“I don’t think...” he begins but then pauses, his mind jarring. “Wait…fitting?”
Amelia nods “For her dress for the party. I gave her one of the wedding dresses I’m not using,” she says shrugging and then wrinkles her nose, “because God only knows what she would have come up with on her own. And of course it has to be fitted because,” Amelia chuckles, gesturing to her buxom chest. “obviously.”
Justin blinks slowly, ignoring her insult. “Charlotte’s coming?”
Amelia sighs exasperated. “Well of course Charlotte’s coming! I’m going to need her help. We invited over seven hundred fifty people!” Amelia pauses as the waitress comes back, setting their drinks in front of them. “And you like her.” She flicks her hand uninterestedly.
“Yeah,” Justin says, a small smile tugging at his lips and then he clears his throat, glancing down at the menu in front of him.
“Are you ready to order?” the waitress asks nervously and Amelia frowns at the menu.
“I suppose. I’ll have a salad. Cesar dressing. No croutons or onions. And I only want the leafy part of the lettuce, no stalks. And no barbeque sauce anywhere,” she says adamantly, snapping her menu shut and shoving it into the waitress’ hands.
“I’ll have the fried green tomatoes and a pulled pork sandwich,” Justin says, handing her the menu without even opening it.
“Pecan pie for dessert?” she asks as she takes it and he grins at her.
“Ye-”
“He doesn’t want dessert,” Amelia interrupts and Justin glares at her.
“Actually yeah I do,” he says, and Amelia blinks back at him startled. The waitress shifts awkwardly. “Thanks hon,” Justin says smiling warmly at her and she returns it somewhat unsurely before scurrying away.
“You’ll set your weight training back,” Amelia sniffs her voice even but still chastising, unwrapping her silverware and placing her napkin in her lap.
“I don’t really care about that,” he says and Amelia’s eyes snap to his, confused and slightly outraged. He cringes rubbing his fingers over his lips. “Look, about…about my birthday…”
“Oh it’s going to be amazing,” Amelia says, smiling again. “Absolutely everyone is going to be there. We have the principals of the American Symphony Orchestra-”
“Babe, I-”
“and dinner is going to be quail braised in-”
“Amelia,” he says sharply and she jumps, scowling deeply at him.
“What?” she asks, offended that he interrupted her.
“Babe, I wanted just a small party. Just some beer and stuff at our place,” he says softly, his eyes imploring and Amelia blinks at him.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Justin,” she says laughing slightly.
“I’m not being ridiculous,” he insists, trying to keep his voice calm as indignation rises in him. How can she just disregard his feelings like that? Has she always done that?
“Yes you are darling,” she says reaching across the table to pat his hand, giving him a winning smile. “This is so much better than what you had planned.”
“But it’s not what I want,” Justin says slowly his eyes holding hers, hoping she’ll understand. He can’t put it any more plainly. She merely blinks at him.
“But it’s better,” she says, speaking to him as if he were dimwitted and he sighs, leaning back in his chair, slipping his hand from under hers to rest both in his lap, picking at his fingernails.
“We need to talk,” he says softly, his heartbeat increasing in volume and frequency and she sighs.
“So you’ve said,” she replies sarcastically and his chest burns, anger and hurt swelling inside him to the point of suffocation.
“I’m serious,” he says, his voice hard as his eyes meet hers and the exasperation melts from her face, her interest piqued. Finally. “This isn’t working.”
“Yes it is you’re just being stubborn,” Amelia replies sharply and Justin grits his teeth, willing his frustration not to get the best of him.
“No, I’m not talking about the party. I-”
“You know I worked really hard on this for you. I wanted you to have a nice birthday-”
“Amelia,” he says but she doesn’t stop, her face contorting into a look of hurt martyrdom.
“-and this is the thanks I get. You saying you don’t want it. I’ve gotten you nothing but the best-”
“But it’s not what I wan-”
“-and you don’t like any of it. I swear you are the most-”
Amelia lets out a quiet shriek as Justin’s hand bangs open palmed onto the tabletop. “WOULD YOU SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!”
Her eyes widen and her lips part slightly, the closest thing to a jaw drop he’s seen from her in a while. Nothing surprises Amelia. He breathes sharply through his nose, trying to quell his anger. He can’t be angry for this. He has to stay calm, has to make her understand. It’s the only way he can save them. The only way he can fix this is if he makes her understand.
“Excuse me?” she asks, her voice hard with disbelief.
“Amelia, I’m sitting here telling you this isn’t working. This,” he says, gesturing to the space between them. “Us. This is what I’m saying. We aren’t working.”
She blinks at him slowly, looking around as if lost and Justin’s brow creases at her lack of reaction. If she had said something like that to him he’d be freaking out right now, demanding an explanation, begging her for answers, something! But Amelia doesn’t freak out; not when it matters. He reaches across the table and takes her hand, running his thumbs over her knuckles tenderly, feeling her jump at his touch.
“I need you to listen to me okay?” he says softly, his eyes boring into hers and she stares back, her face stoic and blank as she gives him an almost imperceptible nod. He takes a deep breath. “I don’t know when it happened, or how it happened but somehow we got to this point where you think you can just do whatever to me. That my opinion doesn’t matter, that what I want doesn’t matter.” Amelia blinks at him and he takes another deep breath, continuing. “You just…you order me around and you tell me where to go and what to do…this isn’t us, Amelia. I’m not some assistant you order around. It’s me.”
She doesn’t respond, just watches his thumb smooth back and forth over her knuckles and his brow furrows deeper, wondering if he’s getting through to her at all.
“You get that this isn’t working don’t you?” he asks, her eyes raising to meet his and under the anger he sees a softness in them he hasn’t seen in a long time.
“Well, I do now I guess,” she replies defensively, her arms moving restlessly but she doesn’t pull her hand from his.
“Come on, Amelia,” he scoffs. “We haven’t been okay for awhile. Ever since…fuck I don’t even know when.”
“Don’t curse,” she says softly and he sighs eyeing her hard. She ducks her head chastised and it’s been a long time since he’s seen her do that. His heart lightens slightly, thinking maybe he’s finally gotten through to her. “So this is all my fault?” she asks then, shaking her hair out of her eyes, jutting her chin out defensively and Justin feels her hand tighten into a fist under his. “I wrecked us by trying to do what I thought was best for you?”
He sighs. “I’m not blaming you, baby,” he says softly, his head dipping to try and catch her eyes which are watching his thumb stroke the back of her hand slowly. “This is as much my fault as yours. I should have put my foot down sooner. Not let your temper intimidate me.”
Amelia frowns at him. “Temper?”
Justin’s eyebrows raise. “Woman, you have the worst temper I have ever seen in my life,” he says and Amelia’s mouth opens to retort but she snaps it shut frowning deeply at him.
They sit in silence for a moment, Amelia studying his face and he does something he doesn’t do very often. He lets his guard down. He lets his mask fall and he looks at her, pleading and hoping that she’ll understand. Praying that she’s listening, that she hears him. He can’t lose her, the wrenching of his gut tells him that much. He doesn’t speak. He’s said all he needed to say for now. It’s her turn to speak.
He watches her bristle slightly, squaring her shoulders as she clears her throat. “I…I guess I’m kind of…strong willed….at times,” she admits and Justin lets out a sigh of relief, the tension leaving his body in a rush. “I…I’ll try and…listen more…I guess.”
She shifts awkwardly in her chair. “I mean…I…” her eyes flick to his, “I love you…I don’t want you to feel like I don’t.”
“I love you too,” he sighs, his hand squeezing hers before reaching up to cup her cheek, his fingertips brushing against the short ends of her hair and he smiles softly. “I love you baby and we’re gonna be okay. We just need to communicate better,” he says with a shrug, reaching for her hand again. “I have to just tell you what I want. Like for my birthday…”
He trails as Amelia tenses, watching her shift in her seat.
“Justin, the invitations have already been sent,” she says softly and Justin presses his mouth into a thin line. “There’s not a whole lot I can do now. I…I wish you said something sooner.”
“Well I did,” Justin says with a chuckle and Amelia ducks her head in a blush which he beams at. There’s his girl.
“Yes, yes okay I’m a horrible listener with a bad temper I get it. Why don’t you just burn me at the stake,” she says with a sigh, leaning back so that her arm rests on the back of her chair and her frown breaks into a smile as she shakes her head in amusement.
“You forgot stubborn,” Justin teases and she scowls playfully, reaching across the table to smack at him and he leans back to avoid her hand.
“Really I don’t know what I can do,” Amelia says, with a sigh, squinting past him in thought. “The hall’s booked, the invitations are sent.”
Justin frowns, letting a small sigh escape as his forefinger traces over the table. So he was going to have a circus of a birthday, he could deal with that, he guesses. At least she was listening to him. They were on their way to some kind of compromise in the future. Maybe. Justin can’t help but feel like a failure. Maybe she hadn’t listened after all.
“I guess…I guess I could have Charlotte call everyone and cancel,” Amelia says, reluctance in her voice and Justin’s head snaps up to find her looking at him, concern in her eyes before she looks away.
He watches her chew on her bottom lip in thought and his heart warms at the fact that she really is trying. She wants to give him what he wants. She cares about what he thinks and how he feels. All he had to do was tell her. He feels silly now, putting up with everything for so long when all he had to do was speak up. But his joy is somewhat overshadowed by the slight pout of Amelia’s bottom lip, the disappointment in her eyes. Her heart was in the right place when she planned all this for him. She said it herself, she just wanted the best for him. She just failed to realize that the best wasn’t always what he wanted. And right now what he wanted more than some stupid party was to make her happy. He sighs.
“What if…” Justin says slowly and she looks up at him hopefully and his heart melts. “What if we keep the party-”
“Oh Justin really?” she exclaims, clasping her hands together and she’s radiant with happiness, leaving him dazed and speechless for a moment.
“But…” he says forcefully and Amelia’s face goes stoic, her eyes trained on him, listening intently. “I have a few stipulations.”
Amelia cringes slightly. “And what are they?”
“I want a full bar,” he says and Amelia blinks at him.
“That’s it?” she asks and Justin shakes his head.
“No there’s more,” he says and her face falls slightly but he ignores it. “I want steak and ribs for the entrée. The restaurant can cater.” He taps his fingers on the table.
Amelia’s eyes widen. “Justin! It’s black tie! You can’t have ribs-”
“It’s what I want,” he says simply, cutting her off and her mouth snaps shut, nodding in silent concession. “And I want my band to play.”
Amelia scoffs. “Your band?”
“From my last tour,” Justin says, his stomach curling with anticipation and Amelia’s eyebrow raises.
“Your SexyBack band?”
Justin gives her a withering look. “They were called the FutureSex/LoveBand but yes you have the idea. I want them to play.”
“Justin,” Amelia says shaking her head and he puts up a hand.
“It’s what I want,” he says enjoying the words and the power behind him. It’s what he wants and dammit it’s what he’s going to have. Amelia sighs.
“I don’t even think I have all of their information. How am I supposed to track down a bunch of random musicians?” Amelia asks and Justin grins.
“Well, since I’ve just recently got in contact with all of them again, that shouldn’t be much of a problem,” Justin says and this time Amelia’s jaw really does drop.
“You what?” she asks, her face showing complete confusion and Justin’s grin widens, butterflies tickling his stomach as he prepares to say something he’s been dying to tell her all week.
“Yeah I called them a few days ago,” he says, biting his bottom lip. “I…I wanna start making music again.”
Amelia blinks back at him. “You must be joking.”
“No,” Justin says, grinning giddily his elation at finally saying the words over taking him. “No I’m not kidding. I’m gonna do it. See what I’ve got, you know. Maybe put out another record.”
“Oh don’t be absurd, Justin!” Amelia spats, her brow creasing and the smile slides from Justin’s face. “That’s not what you want.”
Justin eyes her carefully and sees that maybe he pushed too far. The humor in her eyes is gone and he can see that while she’s willing to compromise on a few things, a complete lifestyle change is out of the question at this point. He feels himself crumple slightly and he’s fully prepared to say “yeah baby you’re right,” tell her that it was a wistful fancy but as he’s opening his mouth he stops. It’s not a wistful fancy. He remembers a time when music was his life and he wants that back. How he could have ever forgotten is beyond him but he can’t continue living the way he is. He doesn’t want to just float through life from one business meeting to the next, not any more. He couldn’t let her intimidate him.
“Yes it is,” he says firmly and Amelia’s eyes widen and apparently she had been expecting the usual “yeah baby you’re right” as well. “This business stuff,” he says with a sigh shaking his head. “I mean it’s okay but I miss the music, babe. I miss it.”
“Well that’s all well and good Justin,” Amelia replies, crossing her arms over her chest, “but in case you’ve forgotten we’re getting married in six months.”
“It won’t interfere with the wedding,” Justin says and Amelia’s laugh sparkles dangerously.
“Justin I know how you get when you start dabbling in this mess,” she says and Justin can feel anger heating him but then she pauses, blinking at him before allowing her eyes to soften. “It…it just completely consumes you,” she says quietly, her blue eyes flicking away from his and she shifts. “It’s all that matters to you. All you care about,” she pauses again, her fingers playing absently with her fork. “Where does that leave me?”
Justin feels his heart clench slightly and he sighs. “Baby,” he says softly and she refuses to look at him, chewing her bottom lip slowly as he reaches for her hand again. “You know you’re the most important thing in my life. Amelia,” he pauses until her gaze meets his and he can see the uncertainty in her eyes. “It’s you okay. It’s always been you.” She smiles triumphantly and he has to grit his teeth at the fact that she’s thought she’s won. “I promise I won’t let this interfere with us okay.” The smile wipes from Amelia’s face, her lips parting slightly. “I just…I just wanna try something different for a change okay? Just for a little while.”
“Well…” Amelia says sighing looking completely shell-shocked as if wondering how she got herself so turned around. “I guess…whatever makes you happy.”
Justin smiles, feeling as if his face would break from it, relief flooding him and he feels himself finally relax. Everything is going to be different now. Things are going to turn around and go back to the way they were when they were just Justin and Amelia. Him and his girl like Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. They were going to be okay! He couldn’t wait to tell Charlotte.
The waitress arrives with their food, setting their plates in front of them and Justin watches the slight wrinkle of Amelia’s nose as she surveys the spread. He can’t help but realize that somewhere in the back of his mind an inkling of doubt is nagging at him. Something in the way Amelia looked at him, a mix of frustration and tolerance and something else he couldn’t quite place. He watches her nudge her food with her fork, shifting it around on her plate and then shakes his head, reaching for a fried green tomato and popping it in his mouth. They were going to be okay. They really were.
Story Tags: fiancej desksex affair love hottubsex
