Rachel brought her hands up to her face as JC pulled her back against his chest, fighting back the tears that wanted to fall.  Don't cry.  She told herself.  Whatever you do, don't cry!  She felt him rest his forehead against the back of her head, heard his deep even breathing and felt her resolve slipping.  Just get out of here and fall apart at home.  Don't let him see the tears.  Don't let him know he's hurt you.

"I just..." He paused.  "Rachel, I'm sorry."

Rachel felt something snap inside at those two words.  "You're sorry?" She asked incredulously as she turned in his arms and looked at him.  "And what exactly are you sorry about?" She questioned with narrowed eyes, anger quickly replacing the humiliation of moments before as he remained quiet, his blue eyes probing hers as if searching for the answer she would accept.  "Sorry about kissing me?" She asked.  "Sorry about lying to me?  Or how about, sorry for never calling?!"

"I've never lied to you." He stated firmly, his arms still around her.

"You let me believe you didn't remember me." She hissed.  "Withholding information is just as good as lying."

"When was supposed to tell you?" He asked, finally releasing her as he threw his hands up in frustration.  "You know this really isn't a typical topic of conversation for us.  ‘Oh, Rachel, by the way I totally remember making out with you at Megan's wedding last year, want to go upstairs and finish what we started?'" He finished sarcastically.  "This is the first time we've had a chance to talk about this.  I don't know why you're freaking out so much.  I--"

"You don't know why I'm freaking out?  Really?  You don't know why?!" Rachel put her hands on his chest and pushed him.  JC backed up a few steps into the great room, surprise registering in his eyes.  "I'll tell you why!" She exclaimed pushing him once more, making him sit down on the couch.  He looked up at her, eyes wide in shock, as she began pacing in front of him.  "Do you have any idea what it's like to have someone you've adored and idolized for years suddenly show any kind of interest in you?  Do you know what it feels like to give a part of yourself to this person; to share something so intensely passionate with them that it takes your breath away every time you think about it?  Do you know what it feels like to walk away and never hear from this person again?  And then--then!  Do you know what it's like to meet up with this person again and have to look him in the eyes every day and know he has no idea who you are?"  Rachel angrily swiped at the hot tears that had begun to fall during her pacing.  She finally looked at him.  "Do you know how many times over the past year I have kicked myself for walking away from you that night?  How many times I have wished for a way to go back and do things differently?  How many times I wondered if you ever thought of me and wished the same thing?  But then," She sniffed and again wiped away her tears, shaking her head as she raised her chin stubbornly.  "I showed up on your front step and for once I was thankful that whatever god in heaven was watching out for me somehow gave me the strength to walk away from you that night."

"Thankful?" JC asked confused, finally speaking.  "First you regret walking away and now you're thankful?  Which one is it?  I don't--"

"I'm thankful," she once again interrupted him. "I had the sense to not give in and sleep with you that night.  Looking in your eyes that first day I came over here and realizing you didn't know who I was hurt, but if we had slept together..." Rachel trailed off and bit her trembling bottom lip.  "It would have killed me." She admitted, feeling satisfied watching him grimace as if in pain.  "I have loved you since I was fifteen.  And I know I'm probably making a huge mistake admitting this to you, but you know what?  What the hell?" She threw her arms up and began pacing again.  "I don't think I can be any more humiliated so I might as well get this all out on the table.  I was a huge fan of yours while you guys were larger than life and I'm still a fan.  I still listen to your CD's on a regular basis-sometimes daily.  And I--" 

Rachel was cut off as JC suddenly stood and took her face in his hands, his lips crushing hers as he silenced her.  She placed her hands on his chest and once more pushed him back.  "What the hell are you doing?" She asked, looking at him in surprise.

"Shutting you up." He answered, his chest rising and falling deeply.  "And that was the only thing I could think of.  I'm sorry." He replied, taking her upper arms in his hands as he looked down at her.  "I'm sorry." He repeated, shaking her slightly to emphasize his point.  "I'm sorry I didn't remember you.  I'm sorry I didn't tell you when I did remember who you were.  I'm sorry I kissed you.  I'm sorry.  I don't know what else to say."

Rachel folded her arms across her chest angrily, trying to ignore the feel of his hands on her.  "Why didn't you call?" She asked looking down at the floor.  She needed an answer, even if it was one she didn't want to hear.

"I wanted to." He replied, making her look up at him in surprise.  His eyes held hers steadily for a moment before he pulled her against his chest and wrapped his arms around her.  Rachel stubbornly refused to let herself relax, instead remaining rigid against him.  "I lost my phone." He said and she pulled back, looking at him in disbelief.  "I did!" He insisted.  "I have no idea where it went.  I either left it somewhere or it fell out of my pocket sometime during the night.  Whatever happened, the truth is, I lost my phone and I couldn't call you.  I didn't have your number and Jackson never told me your last name when he asked me to come meet you.  I had no way of contacting you, Rachel."

"You could have talked to Jackson." Rachel insisted, her anger starting to cool.

"By the time I saw him again it had been four months." He sighed letting go of her as his shoulders slumped.  "I figured..." He trailed off.

"What?" She asked.  "You figured what?"

He looked at her.  "I figured too much time had passed.  I figured you'd forgotten about me."

Rachel laughed incredulously.  "Forgotten?  About you?  How in the hell could I have forgotten about you?  You're JC Chasez!"

"I know who I am." He rolled his eyes.  "You were drunk--I was drunk...I just...I didn't think I'd ever see you again so I pushed your memory away.  I never expected you to show up on my front porch and be my new interior designer.  That first day you were over here," he shook his head and pushed his hands into his hair.  "I couldn't concentrate on anything you were telling me.  You looked so damn familiar it drove me out of my mind trying to figure out how I knew you.  You're hair is what threw me."  He admitted.  "You were a brunette the first time we met." He reminded her.

"What finally made you remember?" She asked, grudgingly curious.

"Your tattoo." He answered.  "I saw it at the club and remembered asking you about it at the reception."  Rachel closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.  "Rachel." He reached out to touch her, but she shied away.

"Don't touch me." She said, looking up.  Her heart ached at the hurt in his blue eyes as he withdrew his hand, but she refused to apologize.  Whether he had meant to or not, he had hurt her and he deserved to feel bad about it.  She turned and walked to the kitchen table, silently gathering up all the books and papers she'd brought with her.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Since we're doing the rest of the house before MTV comes I think it would be a good idea to have Tony and his guys work on this room in here and the game room downstairs at the same time.  We've got a big deadline now." Rachel responded, her voice controlled and even as she slipped into professional mode.

~~~~~

"Okay." JC replied, shoving his hands in his pockets as he stood watching her gather her things.  "Whatever you think."  Right now he'd agree to just about anything she wanted.  He hated fighting with people he cared about; hated knowing he had failed somehow and let someone down.    

"If you're okay with the paint colors we chose, I'll also call and schedule the painters for next week." She continued, the distance in her voice making him want to reach out and hold her-but he knew that wouldn't be a wise choice right now.  It had hurt when she'd shied away from him, telling him not to touch her. 

"Yeah, sure.  Rachel..."

"I need you to take down everything from the walls in here," she said, cutting him off.  She pointed with one hand into the great room as she stood; all her books cradled in her other arm.  "And downstairs so it's ready for Tony and the painters."

"Alright." He nodded watching her closely, his heart falling at the dull look in her eyes.  He'd seen that look on her face before-the day she'd shown up limping-but this time hurt.  This time he had been the one to put that look in her eyes.

"I'll have Tony give you a call tomorrow." She said, and with that she walked past him towards the front door.  JC stood, frozen in place as he watched her leave.  At the sound of the front door closing he sank back down onto the couch.  Resting his arms on his knees he hung his head and found himself praying for some idea on how to make things up to Rachel.  If she was any other girl he knew he'd have been thinking good riddance.  Not only was she what he'd decided he didn't want-a fan-but she was obviously irrational.  She should be happy he remembered her, but what did she do?  She threw it right back in his face.  Did he really want to get involved with someone like that? 

It's too late. His heart replied.  You can't let her go and you know it.  He leaned back and, resting his head back on the cushions, placed his hands over his face.  Give her some time to cool off then make it up to her.

"But how?" He asked out loud.              

~~~~~~

"JC Chasez Dating Again?"

Rachel's heart stopped as she flipped on the television Tuesday night when she got home.  She sank down onto her couch, her hand coming up to cover her mouth, her eyes widening as the entertainment show host continued with the story.

"Rumor has it one of the former heartthrobs of N SYNC and judge of America's Best Dance Crew on MTV, who has dated the likes of Eva Longoria and Tara Reid in the past, is once again off the market.  After rumors circulated last year of a possible ‘bromance'  with Chase Crawford, several photos have recently been taken of the woman rumored to be Chasez's  new love interest meeting him secretly at his house in Beverly Hills.  No one seems to know who the mystery blonde is."

Rachel gasped as several pictures of herself getting out of and into her car at JC's house were flashed on screen. 

"Chasez, who is known for being quiet when it comes to his personal life, has refused to return our calls, so for now we're all left wondering: are the former Mouseketeer's bachelor days numbered?"

Without thinking Rachel reached into her pocket and pulled her cell phone out.  Pressing the speed dial for Megan, she sat back on her couch, staring at the television in shock as the show's hosts moved on to the next story.

"Hey!" Megan answered.

"I just saw myself on TV." Rachel replied quietly. 

"What?" Megan asked.

"I just saw myself on TV." She repeated.

"What do you mean you just saw yourself on TV?"

"I came home and flipped on the TV and do you know what they were talking about?  They were talking about JC and a mysterious blonde that has been seen coming and going from his house the last couple weeks.  Then they showed some pictures of me getting out of my car at his house."

"No way!" Megan exclaimed.  "Really?"

"Yes, really!" Rachel responded, exasperated.  "Why would I make something like this up?  This is bad."

"Why is this bad?" Megan asked, confused. 

"Because...because..." Rachel struggled to come up with why exactly this was bad.  "Okay, so I can't come up with a reason, but it's still bad."

Megan laughed.  "You're dating a celebrity, Rachel.  What did you expect?  Of course people are going to notice you two together.  Frankly, I'm surprised it's taken them this long."

"I am not dating a celebrity, Megan." Rachel stated, drawing her knees up and resting her chin on them.  "Technically, we've only actually gone out once."

"My bad." Megan chuckled.  "You have a celebrity interested in dating you."

Rachel sighed. 

"How many times have you guys talked on the phone when it wasn't work related?" Megan asked.

"Once." Rachel replied. 

"And how long did you guys talk on the phone?"

"An hour..." Rachel answered.  "Or two."

"He's definitely interested in dating you." Megan stated.

"Maybe he was," Rachel said.  "I'm not so sure now."

"He hasn't called?" Megan asked.

"Nope.  But I didn't really think he would." Rachel said with a sigh as she shifted and curled up on her side on the couch.  "I really laid into him yesterday Megan." She said, beginning to feel sorry for the way she'd treated him.  He'd been right.  There really hadn't been a chance for him to tell her that he remembered her before yesterday, but that fact still didn't take away the sense of betrayal she'd felt.  She'd told him things she never should have, the knowledge that he didn't remember the past they shared giving her a false sense of security.  "I was just so angry and hurt." She explained trying to justify it to herself and to Megan.  "I really let him have it."

"I know." Megan replied.  "But I don't think all hope is lost.  You still technically have a date tomorrow, right?"

"Damn it!" Rachel put a hand to her head at Megan's reminder.  She had completely forgotten their lunch date.  "I bet he doesn't show." She grumbled.

"I bet he does." Megan replied. 

"Would you show?  Honestly-if you were JC and I'd acted like a complete nut job yelling at you and confessing to being in love with you my whole life would you show up?"

"Yes." Megan answered confidently.

"Really?" Rachel asked in surprise.  "Why?"

"If he knows what's good for him...he'll show up."

"And if he doesn't?" Rachel asked, fighting not to get her hopes up.

"Than he's an even bigger idiot than I give him credit for."

~~~~~~

Walking into the office late Wednesday morning Rachel sighed dramatically in relief.  "It's done!" She said to Aubrey.  "The beast is married.  She's finally someone else's problem."

Aubrey giggled.  "Congratulations!  What are you going to do with yourself now?"

"I don't know."  Rachel said, coming to stand at the front desk.  "I almost don't remember what it's like to not have her call me five times a day.  I might actually be able to get some of my other work done, that's a novel idea."

"I'm sure I could get her to call you if I let her know how much you missed her." Aubrey teased.

"Don't you dare!" Rachel pointed a finger at the girl as she continued laughing.  "I don't ever want to hear Lucy's voice again."  Rachel began walking towards her desk.  "I'll be at my desk if anyone needs me."

"Alright.  Damn." Aubrey whistled appreciatively at something and Rachel turned around, curious. 

"What..." She trailed off when her eyes caught sight of what Aubrey had seen.  JC-looking like he'd just stepped off the pages of a Gap ad in khakis and a white button down shirt-approached the front door.  One hand was resting casually in his pocket while the other was wrapped around a bouquet of pink Gerbera daisies.  Rachel stood in silent shock as he removed his hand from his pocket and opened the front door.  His blue eyes met hers-clearly surprised to find her standing by the front desk-as soon as he was inside and a tentative smile lifted the corners of his mouth.

"What are you doing here?" She asked in what was becoming her standard greeting for him.

"We have a lunch date, I believe." He replied with a smile, holding the flowers out to her.

Rachel continued looking at him in disbelief even as she reached out automatically and took the flowers from him.  She was sure, after her emotional outburst on Monday that he wasn't going to show for their date today.  She hadn't heard from him since she'd left his house and, even though Megan said he would and a small part of her hoped he'd remember, she had pretty much written him off her calendar today.

"I know I'm a little early." He said, turning his wrist and glancing at his watch.  "I can just wait if you're not ready."  

"No, I..." Rachel stopped.  She looked down at the flowers in her hand then back up at JC.  "I'll be right back." She said, turning and heading back towards her desk.  Walking into her cubicle Rachel sank down into her chair.  Holding the flowers he'd given her in both hands she admired the soft pink blooms until her phone vibrated in her pocket.  Setting the bouquet down on her desk Rachel withdrew her phone and flipped it open.

I just felt the baby move!

Rachel smiled at Megan's excited text.  She knew Megan had been worried that she hadn't felt anything yet and had been trying some of the different tricks people had been telling her.

That's great!! Guess who just showed up for our lunch date?

Rachel sent the text and waited her heart beginning to race as she thought about the man out in the lobby, waiting to take her to lunch.  What were they going to talk about?  How was she supposed to act?  Should she just pretend that Monday hadn't happened-that she hadn't confessed to being in love with him and everything was fine between them? 

I knew he'd show :)

Smiling, Rachel grabbed her purse and put her phone back in her pocket.  Standing and taking a few deep breaths she walked back out into the lobby.

 ~~~~~

JC quickly stood as Rachel walked back out.  She smiled timidly at him and he felt his heart skip a beat.  He had come today not knowing if she would be here or if she would still want to go out with him but the fact that she was now standing in front of him gave him hope. 

He held the door for her as they walked outside.  "I'm over this way." He said, gesturing and turning towards his car.  Rachel followed silently beside him as an awkward silence fell between them.  A few days ago they had no trouble talking for hours with each other about everything under the sun and now he couldn't think of a single thing to tell her.

"I--" He began.

"Did--" She spoke at the same time.

They looked at each other and he smiled.  "Go ahead." He said as he unlocked the car and held the door for her.

~~~~~

"Do you ever watch Access Hollywood?" She asked.

He closed her door and quickly walked around to the driver's side.  "I try to avoid those shows." He said as he slid behind the wheel.  "Most of that stuff is made up.  Why?" He asked turning the ignition of the car.

"They had some interesting things to say about you last night."

"I'm not gay." He said, looking over at her as he backed the car from his spot.

"I know." She answered.  If you were, you'd certainly have a lot of explaining to do about a couple of mind blowing kisses we've shared recently.

"What did they say?" He asked driving out of the parking lot.

"That you've been secretly dating someone for the past month."  He looked over at her, his eyes showing his confusion.  "She's been photographed coming and going from your place and no one seems to know who she is." 

"The only girl I've spent any time with in the past year is you." He answered.  Rachel slowly raised one brow as she continued looking at him.  "What..." He kept looking back and forth between her and the road and Rachel saw understanding slowly dawn in his blue eyes.  "Rachel, I'm sorry." He quickly apologized.  "Listen, whatever they said about you, I..." He shook his head and hit the steering wheel.  "Damn it!" He swore under his breath.  "Sarah told me yesterday someone from one of those shows had called wanting a statement about some rumors going around about me.  I just assumed it was a slow news day so they were dragging out the gay story again.  If I'd known it was about you I would have said something."

"What would you have said?" She asked, curious.

"That...that I'm remodeling and that you're a...a friend." He answered.

Is that all? She wanted to ask feeling a bit disappointed at his answer, instead she nodded and turned to look out the window.  "If they call again." He said.  "I'll say something."

"It's alright." She assured him.  "They didn't say anything bad about me.  It just caught me by surprise is all.  I guess..." She looked over at him.  "Sometimes I forget you're a celebrity." She chuckled ironically and rolled her eyes.  "I know how crazy that sounds, but...I mean I know who you are, but when it's just the two of us I forget sometimes that everyone else knows you too and you live your life in the spotlight."

~~~~~

JC watched Rachel as he pulled to a stop at a red light.  He didn't know what to do-what to feel.  The girls he'd dated in the past had been all about the spotlight.  It was like they'd been holding a contest with each other trying to see who could beat the other one's record at how quickly photos of them together started circulating.  The fact that Rachel seemed to be uncomfortable with the attention she had suddenly received was a new thing for him.  "I'll have Sarah get a copy of whatever pictures they have.  We can--"

"It's okay, JC." She said, putting her hand on his arm.  He looked down at it, then back up at the road as traffic began moving again.  "They weren't bad pictures.  Like I said, I was just surprised last night." She smiled.  "It's not everyday I turn on the television and see my picture in the entertainment news and hear that people are wondering about who I am."

"I'll have Sarah keep an eye on what's being said.  If I need to I'll make a statement."

"Whatever." She said turning back to the window.  They were both quiet as he continued driving across town.  He'd wanted to take her to his favorite Chinese restaurant but was now questioning whether this was such a great idea.  It was obvious Rachel was uncomfortable with the attention she'd received and if he knew anything about the entertainment business, the paparazzi weren't going to leave this alone until they found out who she was-they never did.  Things could get a little crazy.

"Do you ever get tired of constantly having your life exposed?" She asked, her brown eyes turning to him, her expression curious.

"All the time." He answered honestly. 

"I'd think it would have a damaging affect on any kind of relationship you have-having to constantly be careful about what you say and what you do, rumors always flying around."

"You have no idea." He replied bitterly.  "Why do you think I've struggled so hard to keep my personal life private?" He asked.  Silence once more fell between them. 

"I'm sorry I slapped you the other day." She said quietly.

"It's been a while since a girl slapped me." He rubbed his cheek.  "But I deserved it." He said.  She smiled timidly at him.  He watched her turn back to the window.  When she remained quiet he asked, "Do you like Chinese?"

"I love it." She answered. 

"Good." He smiled.  "Then you'll like this place." He said, pulling into a parking lot.  JC wanted to hold Rachel's hand as they walked towards the restaurant but restrained himself.  She needed to let him know she had forgiven him and so far he hadn't gotten that vibe from her.  Yes, she was being pleasant and cordial with him but she was also more reserved than he was used to.  He could tell she was holding back, still feeling some residual anger towards him.

They were shown to a table and soon ordered.  Waiting for their food to arrive JC reached for one of the fortune cookies sitting on the table and handed it to her.  As he grabbed one for himself she asked, "Do you know the correct way to eat a fortune cookie?"

"There's a correct way?" He chuckled.

"If you want your wish to come true," she said. "You have to do it a certain way."

"And how's that?"

"You have to eat the cookie." She said, taking her cookie from the wrapper and breaking it in half.  "Then make a wish and then read your fortune."

"Alright." He said, opening his wrapper and breaking his own cookie in half.  He pulled out his fortune, and put both parts of the cookie in his mouth, watching as Rachel ate one half, then the other of her cookie.  He watched as she closed her eyes and, he assumed, made her wish.  When her eyes once more opened and connected with his he swallowed.

"Did you make a wish?" She asked.

I wish there was a way to rewind time and make you like me again. He thought.  "Yeah." He answered.

"What's your fortune say?" She inquired.

He tore his eyes from hers and looked down at the strip of paper in his hand.  "You will always be successful in your professional career." He read.  "Obviously this is Justin's cookie." He said, with a wry chuckle as he tossed the fortune on the table between them.  Rachel laughed.  "What's yours say?" He asked.

~~~~~  

Rachel smiled as she looked down at her fortune, her heart racing as she read the tiny red letters.  Someone from your past has returned to steal your heart.  "Uh..." she cleared her throat as she looked up at him.  She chuckled nervously as he sat there looking at her expectantly.  I can't read this to him!  She wracked her brain trying to think of fortunes she'd had in the past.  "The road to success is long." She said crumpling up the fortune and quickly putting it into her purse.  "I always get dumb ones." She said, and took a sip of her water as their waiter brought their food out.

Inhaling appreciatively, Rachel picked up her fork and took a bite of the orange chicken she'd ordered.  Chewing the sweet and spicy meat her eyes wandered around the restaurant, taking in the oriental decorations, watching the other patrons, reading the Chinese zodiac information card on the table-anything to keep her mind off JC and the way he made her feel.  She wanted to hold on to her anger, nurse her hurt a little long, but the longer she sat here across from him-the longer she thought about him showing up for their date with flowers-the more she felt her anger dissipating.  She glanced over at him, only to find him looking down at his plate, focusing intently on his sweet and sour pork.  He had made an effort to apologize-she had to give him that-and Rachel knew the ball was now in her court.  It was her move.  He was leaving it up to her.  Finally she couldn't stand the silence any longer. 

"I can't do this." She said, startling him as she put her fork down.  His blue eyes watched her carefully as she leaned towards him.  "I can't sit here with you any longer and pretend nothing's happened.  We need to talk."

"Agreed." He answered.

"Why?" She asked. 

"Why do we need to talk?" He looked at her, his eyes conveying his confusion at her vague question. "Or why do I agree?"

"Just...why?" She questioned.  "Why did it take you so long to remember me?  Why did you let me go on talking when you knew damn well what I was talking about at lunch last week?  Why didn't you try harder to contact me?  Why did you show up today after I yelled at you on Monday?  Why, why, why?" She put her elbows up on the table and covered her face with her hands, the pain evident in her voice.

"Rachel." JC reached over and took her hands in his-pulling them down to reveal her face.   "Look at me." He said quietly, keeping hold of one hand, but she refused to look at him.  "Look at me." He repeated, reaching across the table and lifting her chin with his other hand.  Finally she allowed herself to look at him, the intensity of his blue eyes making her breath catch as he sat there across from her.  "I'm sorry." He said with conviction.  He closed his eyes and blew out a breath.  "I wish I could go back and change things, but I can't.  The truth is, when we met at Megan and Jackson's reception I never expected what happened to happen.  I never expected to get there and feel so instantly attracted to you that it was all I could do to keep my hands to myself for as long as I did.  I never expected to kiss you and I certainly never expected to feel as lost as I did watching you walk away from me."

Rachel sat, dumbfounded at the look in his eyes and the words coming from his lips.

~~~~~

"Yes, we were drunk." JC admitted as he sat there, trying to explain himself to her.  He'd done nothing but think since she'd walked out on him Monday afternoon and he hoped she'd let him say what he needed to say.  "But I woke up the next morning and I couldn't get you out of my head.  Honestly, I was impressed that you'd been able to say no to my offer and I wanted to call and see if you wanted to go dinner or something.  I wanted to see you again, spend some time with you.  But when I discovered I'd lost my phone and had no way of contacting you and the longer that time went on I began convincing myself you'd said no because you weren't interested in me; that I was just fulfilling some drunken teenage fantasy.  I didn't ask Jackson for your information because, like I said, it had been four months by the time I saw the guy again and I figured it was just better to try and forget you." He sighed and Rachel closed her eyes as she hung her head. 

He reached across the table and once again lifted her chin.  He needed her to look at him.  He needed her to see and hear the truth of what he was telling her.  "But then you walked back into my life and took me by surprise-again.  I..." He paused, swallowing.  He squeezed her fingers that he still held.  "I worked so hard to push your memory away and I'm sorry.  If I'd known you would one day walk back into my life I..." He paused again.

"What?" She questioned.  "If you'd known...what would you have done?"

He sat there, looking at her.  The vulnerability in her eyes crying out to him.  She was scared and unsure-of herself, of him-of everything.  She was searching for reassurance and he wanted to give it to her.  "I don't know." He replied honestly.  "I don't know what I would have done differently.  The only thing I do know is that it wouldn't have taken me so damn long to kiss you again."  Rachel chuckled softly and he watched her cheeks turn pink.  "Rachel, I don't care that you're a fan." He said, raising her hand he still held and pressing his lips to the back of it.  "I don't care that apparently right now you hate my guts." He looked at her as he rubbed his thumb back and forth over the soft skin he'd just kissed.  "And I don't care that you're my interior designer.  I like you." He said.  "I like spending time with you.  I like talking to you on the phone and I want to see if this," he gestured between them, "is real."

~~~~~

Rachel pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she sat looking at him.  Could she do it?  Could she put herself on the line and open her heart to this man?  The potential for things to go badly was high.  If it turned out he didn't want her after getting to know her Rachel knew she'd never survive.  Not only was he the boy she'd spent her teenage and young adult life idolizing, but he was the man she was falling in love with.  He held all of her hopes and dreams in his hands and he could crush her so easily without even realizing it.  The hope and vulnerability in his blue eyes sent an arrow straight to her heart.  He had taken a huge leap of faith just now in admitting that he liked her and wanted to pursue a relationship with her, and Rachel knew there was only one thing she could say.

"Okay."