He was pouting, and he knew it.  If his mother were here she'd lay into him, telling him to get off his ass and do something.  What thirty-two year old man pouted?   If he wasn't happy with the situation he was in, he was perfectly capable to do something about it.  But as JC sat out on the back porch of his house Tuesday afternoon he was at a loss as to what to do.  Rachel had blown him off yesterday.  She'd treated him like he was just a client even though they both knew he was anything but just a client to her.  No.  He corrected himself.  She'd treated him like less than a client.  She hadn't even had the decency to call and warn him that she was sending someone else to their appointment yesterday morning. 

When Erin had pulled out the sample books an idea had formed.  When she asked him what color he wanted he had pointed to the color that was closest to the one already on the walls, knowing Rachel would have a cow.  If she didn't want to see him willingly, he was going to force her to see him.  He knew she would never let him go through with painting the walls cream.  However, as the hours ticked by--his phone remaining silent in his pocket-his disappointment grew. 

He was going crazy.  He didn't know how much longer he could take this separation from her.  He wanted to grab his keys, drive down to her office and demand to know what her problem was-but he already knew what her problem was.  He was her problem. 

JC sighed as he shifted in the chair and, placing one elbow up on the arm, put his chin in his hand.  Never before had he wished harder for a time machine.  He'd give anything to take back what had happened, but he couldn't.  The only thing he could do was try to apologize, but Rachel wasn't making that very easy.  He'd done a lot of thinking and soul searching since opening up to her last week-a lot of thinking and soul searching.  He thought about his life and the direction he was headed--this time staying away from the liquor cabinet--and had made some decisions.  The big one being, he wanted to get back to his music.  He'd taken a break from it lately because of different opportunities that had come his way, but music was where his heart was.  He was happiest when he was making music and it was time to get serious about it again.  The music world hadn't been ready for his first album but the climate had changed quite a bit since he'd released Schizophrenic.  Maybe this second album would do better.  He didn't know and realistically there was no way to know how this next album would be received.  All he knew was that something inside was screaming for release.

And music wasn't the only thing it was time to get serious about.  Some things had been missing from his personal life as well and Rachel's leaving had thrown that into sharp relief.  This wasn't the first relationship he'd ever been in, nor was the first time he'd felt strongly for a girl.  It was, however, the first time he'd begun to think about settling down with someone.  He'd always said marriage was a long way down the road for him, but lately he was beginning to question whether the road was as long as he thought it was.  This is crazy. He thought, shaking his head and sitting up in the chair.  I am not ready to get married!  And besides, even if I were, Rachel hates me.  He sighed as he grabbed his phone from his pocket, hoping she'd called and he just somehow hadn't heard it.

Nothing.

He put his head back against the chair and closed his eyes.  He had been burned in every relationship he'd been in.  He'd gone through just about every version of heartbreak and betrayal a guy could go through and after each one he swore it was the last time he gave his heart.  But what happened?  Each time he ended up getting more involved than the last time as if searching to make up what had been missing in his past relationships.  With as much as his heart had been through it was a wonder he had the courage to even talk to girls anymore, let alone date them, but it was like he'd told Rachel.  He just wanted someone to like him for him and he kept thinking he'd find it.  He kept telling himself that the next one would be better; that the next girl he dated would be dating him because she liked him.  Not because he had been a part of one of the biggest pop groups of all time.  Not because he had the money and connections to get whatever he wanted.  Not because he'd won dozens of awards and got invited to all the parties and not because he was fulfilling some teenage fantasy of hers.  He wanted someone to like him because he was just a guy; a guy who wanted someone to love him, someone he could be himself around and not worry about what she was thinking because he knew she loved him even when he acted like a dork.

He tried to hold back, he really did.  He tried not to get involved so quickly but he was cursed.  Once his heart made up its mind he jumped in with both feet and never looked back.  In the past it had always been the girl who'd broken things off--because she'd used him to further her career and now that she was where she wanted to be she didn't need him anymore, or because he was the rebound guy and she'd found who she wanted to have a "real" relationship with--but this time he had no one to blame but himself and that's what hurt so much.  He'd finally found someone who made him feel like the regular guy he wanted to be and he'd thrown it all away.  He wasn't JC the celebrity when he was with Rachel.  He felt like he was just Josh again when he was with her--and that was something he hadn't felt in a long time. 

But he'd blown it.  He'd let his insecurities and the pain he was carrying around control him.  He'd taken it out on the one person who meant more to him than anyone ever had.  The things he'd said to her kept echoing in his head, making his heart hurt.  The pain and betrayal in her brown eyes haunted him so he couldn't sleep but he didn't know how to fix things or make the pain go away.

Once again he pulled his phone from his pocket.  Sniffing and taking a deep breath he dialed her number.  With a trembling hand he held the phone against his ear and waited.  Counting the rings...       

~~~~~~

Rachel sat on her couch Wednesday evening, staring at her phone as it vibrated on the cushion next to her.  JC's name flashed across the small screen as it had been doing ritually for the past day and a half.  He'd called her more than a dozen times but had only left one message: "Please call me."

Her phone quieted, leaving Rachel alone in the silence of her apartment until her land line rang.  She jumped at the unexpected noise, but didn't get up.  She heard the machine click on giving the greeting she'd had since she'd moved in: "This is Rachel. I'm not home right now so leave me a message."  She waited, wondering who was calling her.  Probably just a telemarketer. She thought.  But her heart skipped when a very familiar voice came over the line.

"Rachel?" JC asked.   He paused for a second.  "I know you're there."  Rachel drew her knees up, hugging them as she laid her chin on them and closed her eyes--listening to his familiar voice.  "Rachel, please.  I don't know how much more of this I can take." She heard him sigh heavily and she fought back the tears.  She thought he'd hung up but then she heard him again, quieter this time.  "I don't want to lose you.  Please...give me another chance."

Rachel sat on the couch, tears silently falling as JC hung up and the answering machine turned off.  Damn it!  She thought as she sniffed and wiped the tears from her face.   If Megan were here she'd tell her she was being ridiculous but she couldn't help it.  While part of her was ready to forgive him, another part of her wanted to test him-to see how much was willing to fight for her.  And for how long.

Her cell phone vibrated again, this time alerting her to a text message.  Hesitantly she flipped her phone open and read what he'd sent.

I miss your smile.

Rachel's heart flipped at his simple declaration.  Her phone vibrated again as she sat holding it.  Opening the new message she felt tear pricking again.

I miss your laugh.

And another one.

I miss you.

Rachel opened a blank message out of habit, her fingers hovering over the keys as she contemplated what and if she should say anything to him.  When she couldn't think of anything she picked up the remote and flipped on the television.   Curling up against the arm of the couch, Rachel tried to ignore the thoughts and feelings swirling around inside of her.

Several hours later Rachel woke up.  When did I fall asleep? She wondered as she rubbed her eyes.  She stretched as she reached for her cell phone to see what time it was.  12:15.  She was just about to turn of the television and go to bed when she heard a very distinctive and familiar laugh.   Her heart skipped when she saw JC sitting and talking to Jimmy Kimmel.  "When did he..." She stopped, turning the volume up and listening, wondering if this was a new show or a rerun.  How had she not known JC was going to be on this show tonight?  Maybe because you haven't really talked to him in more than a week.  Her conscious argued.  Rachel pushed the thought away as she turned the volume up higher.

"So, you've got the judging gig on MTV going on..." Jimmy said.

"Yep." JC nodded.

"And I hear rumors that another CD is in the works..."

JC chuckled, but Rachel noticed his eyes were devoid of any of his usual sparkle.  He may be smiling for the camera but he was not happy.  She's seen enough of his interviews and had grown to know him on a deeper level over the last couple months that she could tell he wasn't himself.  "You know, I've been working on some stuff and when the right collection of songs comes together for me then I'll release something, until then I'm staying busy with other projects.  Dance Crew keeps me busy when it's filming, and I'm always doing something."

"And then there's your girlfriend." Jimmy said, and JC smiled.  Rachel watched as a picture of herself and JC from the movie premier they'd gone to a few weeks ago was flashed up on the screen.  She had to admit it was a great picture.  JC looked amazing and she actually looked like she belonged there on the red carpet, holding his hand.  She remembered the way she'd felt-standing there next to him--knowing everyone knew they were together.  She remembered the awesome feeling that came with knowing that out of every one he could be with he had picked her.

She still didn't understand what had made her so special.

"Yeah." JC replied, getting a little embarrassed and Rachel watched him intently--wondering what Jimmy was going to ask him and how JC was going to respond.

"You guys really do make a great looking couple.  She's very pretty."

"Yeah, she is." JC replied, looking over his shoulder at the screen behind him that still had their picture up on it.

"So you two have been together a couple months...do you see this becoming something permanent?"

"I hope so, man." JC nodded, looking back at the host.  "I really hope so...she's amazing.  I'm very lucky to have her in my life...but, things are kind of up to her right now." He looked up and into the camera and Rachel's heart stopped as she looked at him. 

"Alright." Jimmy said.  "Randy Jackson Presents: America's Best Dance Crew is on MTV on Thursday nights.  When we come back..."

Rachel flipped off the television, JC's last comment staying with her.  "I hope so...but things are kind of up to her right now."  The ball was in her court and she had to decide what she was going to do once and for all. 

~~~~~~

"Thanks for coming in." Rachel shook the hands of the couple she'd just met with Thursday afternoon.  "Look over what I gave you and give me a call.  I'd really love to work with you guys on this project."

"Thanks." The woman said, placing her hand on her extended middle.  "We can't put this off any longer.  We'll be making a decision in the next couple days.  We've got to get the nursery finished."

"Good luck." Rachel smiled.  "I'll be waiting to hear from you."  As they left the building she turned and started heading back towards her cubicle, trying to ignore the anxiety filling her at the call she now had to make.  She had been putting it off for three days, but the fact of the matter was there was no way in hell she was letting JC paint the walls of the great room cream!  She'd spent way too much time and energy on the project for him to revert to his old habits and ruin everything.  But, the only way to change his mind was to talk to him.  And she was dreading it.   She stopped as she got to her cube, one brow rising in surprise at what was waiting for her.

The biggest bouquet of dark red roses she'd ever seen sat blocking her computer screen while a medium sized box wrapped in shiny red paper sat on top of the design magazines she'd been looking through earlier.  "What the..." She trailed off as she dropped down into her chair.  She spotted a tiny white envelope sticking out among the red petals and reached for it, her finger sliding under the flap and releasing the seal. 

Just wanted to make sure you smiled today.

Putting the note down she reached for the box and unwrapped it, gasping when she saw four huge chocolate covered strawberries nestled inside.  She sat, completely dumbfounded for several minutes, until her cell phone vibrated.  Reaching for it blindly, Rachel brought it to her ear.

"Hello?" She asked, still in shock.

"You answered!" JC said, sounding extremely surprised.  He cleared his throat nervously.  "Are you smiling?" He asked. 

"I'm in shock." She answered honestly.  "No one's ever...why..."

"They told me about your grandma dying last week when I stopped in to talk to you.  I forgot about it until Erin said something the other morning.  I'm sorry."

Rachel groaned as she set the strawberries on her desk and covered her eyes.  "JC..." She paused.  "She..."  Damn it!  She couldn't tell him the truth for several reasons.  Number one, her grandmother hadn't died but everyone at the office thought she had.  If she let it slip that that wasn't the reason she'd gone home last week she'd be in serious trouble.  Number two, he was the reason she'd made up that lie in the first place and number three...she couldn't think of a number three.  "I can't talk about this right now." She finally replied.

"I understand." He replied. 

"No, you don't." She answered.  Really, you don't. She thought with a roll of her eyes.  "But, I'm glad you called." She added.

"You are?" He asked, sounding surprised.

"Yeah.  I was just about to call you actually."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh."

"Why?" He asked, suddenly sounding wary.

"We're fresh out of cream paint." She replied, in an even tone.

"Is that so?" He asked and she could hear the hint of a smile in his voice.

She nodded, though he couldn't see her.  "Yeah, so you're going to have to pick a different color."

"I see." He replied.  "And is that something you're going to help me with, or am I going to have to work with that other girl again?"

"I don't know." She replied flippantly.  "Erin seemed really excited about working with you on Monday." Rachel answered, wondering what he would say.

"Erin doesn't know what the hell she's doing, or she never would have let me settle on cream." He stated firmly and Rachel smiled at his attitude.  "When are you coming over?" He asked as if he already knew what her answer would be.

"I'm booked the rest of the day with a staff meeting and a couple consults..." She moved the box of strawberries and searched the desk for her planner.  "I could..."

"Come after work?" He finished for her.  "Great!  I'll see you around six." He said then quickly hung up before she could say anything.

Rachel looked at the receiver for a moment in bewilderment then hung it up, shaking her head as a smile spread across her face.  Oh, he's smooth.  Alright, six it is.  She thought as she pulled one of the strawberries from the box.  Biting into it Rachel let out a moan at the pure decadence of the treat.  She closed her eyes as she savored the experience.  JC certainly knew what he was doing.  If he truly wanted to win her back he was definitely on the right track.

~~~~~~

At five fifty-three Rachel punched in JC's gate code and pulled up his driveway.  Parking her car she glanced in the rearview mirror to make sure she looked okay, ran her fingers through her hair, then grabbed her bag and got out.  She was nervous-which was ridiculous.  It felt like a first date between them all over again.  She smoothed her hands down the front of her light blue blouse then knocked.  When he didn't answer she tried the door and found it unlocked.  "JC?" She called out as she poked her head inside.

"I'm in the kitchen!" He called out.  "Come on in."

Rachel opened the door wider and stepped inside.  Setting her bag down by the front door she made her way back towards the kitchen, her nose picking up on a mouthwatering aroma.  "Something smells...good..." She stopped as she came into the kitchen, one brow rising as she took in the scene before her.  JC stood in front of the stove in a simple pair of jeans and a black T-shirt stirring something in a large black sauce pan.  "You're cooking?" She asked in surprise, laughing when he turned and she saw the white, Kiss the Cook apron he had on.

"Don't look so surprised." He replied, looking hurt.  "You're just in time. Come here." He lifted the spoon he'd been using and put his other hand beneath it so it wouldn't drip on the floor.  "Tell me what you think."

Rachel's feet moved her forward and her eyes never left his as he brought the spoon to her lips.  She tasted the marinara sauce--her eyes widening as she licked her lips. 

"Good?" He asked with a sparkle in his eyes as he took in her reaction. 

"It's fantastic!" She exclaimed as she looked at him in shock.  "When did you learn to cook?" She asked.

"I think you'll find, the more you get to know me the more I'll surprise you." He went back to concentrating on the food.

"Is that so?" Rachel asked with a grin. 

"I've kept some things about myself private, to protect my sanity." He admitted.  "Cooking is one of them.  I only share this talent with a select few."

"I'm honored." Rachel replied, folding her arms across her chest as she leaned her hip against the counter. 

"You should be." He winked at her and her heart skipped a few beats.  There was something undeniably sexy about a man who could cook-something that made every female hormone in Rachel's body come alive.  Add to that the fact that the man cooking was JC and Rachel was a complete mess.  She watched as he brought the spoon to his own mouth and tasted what he'd been working on--a shiver ran down her spine as his tongue darted out and caught the sauce he'd dripped.  With a satisfied nod of his head, he reached his arm out and turned off the burner.  "If you want to grab a couple plates in the cupboard there," he pointed as he backed up and opened the oven, the delicious smell of warm bread filling the kitchen, "I think we're ready."

Rachel watched in astonishment as he removed what she assumed was a loaf of French bread from the oven, then turned and took two plates out of the cupboard behind her.  Turning back to JC she held them out to him.  He took one from her and filled it with spaghetti from one pot and his marinara sauce from another.  After handing her back the plate and filling the other one she took the plates to the table while he followed behind her with the bread.  Reaching the table Rachel was surprised to see there was a salad waiting for them, along with a bottle of red wine.  He's certainly been busy today. She thought with a smile as he pulled out a chair for her.  She sat down, her eyes following as he moved around the table and sat down across from her.  They exchanged smiles then began eating. 

"This is amazing!"  Rachel exclaimed.  He grinned proudly as he filled both of their glasses with wine. 

"I'm glad you like it." He said after taking a sip.  "It's my own secret recipe." He lifted an arrogant brow causing her to chuckle.

"Well, I'm impressed." She said as she reached for the salad bowl and put some on her plate.  "Whoever taught you how to cook deserves a kiss."  He grinned as he leaned back and pointed to the declaration on his apron.  Rachel laughed.

"Let's get down to business." He said leaning forward again.  "That's why you're here, right?"

"Yeah, but I don't want to talk about business." Rachel replied as she looked down.  She dug her fork into the pasta and began twirling the utensil, watching as the noodles wrapped around the tines.

"What do you want to talk about then?" He asked. 

"My grandmother didn't die." She blurted out then looked up at him to see his reaction. 

"What?" He asked, his brows furrowed.

Rachel shook her head.  "I was going to tell you earlier when you called but I couldn't.  I lied to get the time off last week."  She could feel her cheek warming.

He blew out a breath.  "Well, that's a relief." He said.  Rachel looked at him in confusion.  This was not the reaction she had been expecting.  "I'm glad to know I'm not a completely rotten person." He said as he speared some salad.

"What do you mean?" She asked confused.

"When that girl...Nicole?" He hesitated and Rachel nodded.  "When I came into the office and Nicole told me that your grandmother had died I felt about this tall." He confessed, holding his thumb and forefinger an inch apart.  "After what had happened between us Saturday night, to then find out that you were dealing with a death in your family as well?" He shook his head.  "It's just nice to know that I'm only mostly rotten."  He looked at her as he took another bite. 

"I feel bad." Rachel said as she took a sip of wine.  "You sent me the flowers this morning and those strawberries--which, by the way, were amazing--because you were under the impression that she had died."

"That wasn't the only reason I sent them." He replied as he picked up his own glass.  Rachel watched as he pressed the rim to his lips and took a sip.  She swallowed the excess moisture that had suddenly filled her mouth as her eyes stayed focused on his mouth.  How long had it been since he'd kissed her? 

Snap out of it! She told herself as she tore her eyes away from him and dropped her gaze to her plate and they continued eating in silence.  You're supposed to still be upset at him, remember?  But she couldn't keep her eyes off him for too long.  Before she knew it she was once more being drawn in by his gorgeous eyes.  She felt hot all of a sudden and just wanted to sit down in his lap and kiss him--good and hard.  She wanted to taste him again and feel his lips against hers while his hands pressed against her back as he held her close...goose bumps broke out and a tingle ran down her spine as her imagination began to run away with her.  JC was one of the most passionate men she'd ever met and Rachel knew he wouldn't object if she were to do what she was imagining.  The only thing stopping her was the fact that, while the physical connection between them was still strong the emotional connection they shared had been damaged and needed to be worked on. 

Until then, the physical would have to wait.

Rachel looked down and stabbed at her plate as the disappointment filled her.  But she was also relieved in some respects.  The fact that she was still sexually attracted to him--to the point of distraction--gave her hope that they'd eventually be able to work things out and get past this rough patch in their relationship.

"What was the other reason?" She asked.

"What?" He responded, looking at her.

"You said my grandmother dying wasn't the only reason you sent the flowers." She clarified.  "What was the other reason?"

"What the card said." He replied.  "I wanted to make you smile."  She smiled as she felt her cheeks warm.  He grinned.  "Like that." He said, his eyes sparkling.

"Well, thank you.  They're the prettiest roses I've ever gotten.  In fact, they're the only roses I've ever gotten."

He looked at her in surprise.  "What?" He asked.  "Now I find that hard to believe.  How can someone as wonderful and beautiful as you are, go through life never having received a single rose from anyone?"

Rachel shrugged.  "I've gotten other flowers from people but never any roses."

"Hmmm...I'm going to have to work on that." He answered with a sly grin.

Rachel looked down at her plate, concentrating on the food in front of her.  This was getting dangerous.  He was getting dangerous.  JC was too smooth and seductive for his own good.  Rachel could feel the defenses she'd put in place toppling.  Her anger towards him had dissipated significantly in the last twenty-four hours and she found herself wanting to reach out to him.  She wanted so badly to trust him again but something was holding her back.  She still needed him to prove to her that he loved her--truly and completely loved her. 

"People magazine called me on Friday." He said, breaking through her thoughts.  "They want to run an article on us."  Rachel's head shot up and she looked at him wide eyed. 

"On us?!"  She asked, feeling a bit panicked.  He nodded as he took another bite.  "Why the hell do they want to do a story on us?"

"Because I made it clear two weeks ago, on national television that we were dating." He told her. 

Rachel put her fork down and sat looking at her plate while a million thoughts tumbled around in her head.  Together?  She wanted to laugh at the irony.  Oh, if people only knew.  "I really don't think now is the best time for us to do an interview as a couple, JC, do you?" She looked back up at him.

"No." He shook his head, his blue eyes watching her intently.  "Which is why I told them right now wasn't a good time for either of us.  I told them we were both really busy and didn't have the time.  They wanted to know if we'd be interested in doing it the beginning of the year, maybe after the Cribs episode on MTV airs."

"What did you say?" Rachel asked.

"I told them it would probably be okay, but that I'd have to talk to you about it first and I wasn't making any promises."

Rachel nodded--wondering if things would be back to normal between them in a few months.  But then again, what's normal about our relationship? She wondered as she took the last bite of spaghetti.  I'm an interior designer and he's a world famous musician.  Wiping her mouth with the linen napkin that had been resting on her knee through dinner she stood.   

"Leave it." JC said as she picked up her plate and he refilled both their glasses.  "It's a beautiful night." He said when she looked at him warily.  "Let's go sit outside for a little while." He stood and, finally taking off the apron he'd been wearing, held her glass out to her. 

Rachel kept her eyes on his as she reached for her glass.  She saw a spark of something in his sapphire eyes that caused her stomach to flip.  What have you got up your sleeve tonight, Mr. Chasez?  She wondered.

"Come on." He said, turning on his heels and heading towards the French doors that led to the back patio.  "I promise I won't bite." He smirked as he held the door open for her.

~~~~~

JC took a sip of his wine and sat down in one of the deck chairs; Rachel followed his example and sat down next to him.  He kept his hand on his glass though that was the last place he wanted it to be.  It had been eleven days--eleven days since he'd last touched her soft skin, kissed her beautiful mouth, or even just held her hand.  It had been eleven days and he was going absolutely crazy.  She had no idea how close he'd come to kissing her in the kitchen when she'd first arrived.  She'd walked in and looked at him in amazement--making him feel a smug sense of satisfaction--and all he'd wanted to do was press her up against the counter while his mouth worked to convince her of his remorse.  Instead, he'd had her taste the sauce he'd made, hoping to get his mind off the fact that he was desperately in love with her and horny as hell.

They sat there, side by side in silence for a few moments, every nerve ending in his body charged.  There was an almost visible current running between them and he wondered if she could feel it.  Was the calm demeanor she was presenting him right now as she sipped at her wine just a front?  Was she as affected by him as he was by her?  He'd never been this in tune with a woman before.  Though he sat facing the backyard every cell in his body was focused on Rachel.  He felt as if he closed his eyes and concentrated he'd be able to read her thoughts.  

"The stars are so beautiful." Rachel finally said, breaking the silence between them as she stood suddenly and walked towards the railing that ran along the edge of the patio.  He sat for a second before standing as well.  He placed his glass on the table next to him, and then slowly made his way towards her.  He watched as she craned her neck and looked up at the night sky, taking in her beautiful profile.  Her delicate jaw line, the graceful curve of her neck....JC reached out and gripped the wooden rail in front of him tightly as he tore his eyes from her. 

"Do you know any of the constellations?" He asked, trying desperately to distract himself.

"Sometimes I can pick out the Big Dipper but that's about it." Rachel replied.

"The Big Dipper's not out right now." JC said, looking up at the sky.  "But Cassiopeia is."  Rachel laughed softly.  "What?" He asked, looking over at her.

"Isn't that the constellation John Cusack's character points out to Kate Beckinsale in Serendipity?" She smiled.

"I don't know."  He replied.  "Is it?"

"Yeah, remember?" She asked, turning back to the sky.  "The freckles on her arm are in the same formation and he points it out to her."

"I don't think I ever saw that movie." He replied honestly. 

"I loved that scene, but I can never find the constellation..." She trailed off and he watched as she continued to search the sky.

"It's right there." He pointed towards the formation of stars above them.

"Where?" She asked, sounding confused.

"Right there." He said.  "Look where I'm pointing."

She looked at his finger then up at the sky.  "I don't see it." She shook her head. 

Stepping up behind her JC placed his left hand on her hip, turning her body so she was facing the right way while he took her right hand in his.  "Point your finger." He said softly.  She did as he requested as he raised her arm and pointed her finger at the stars.  "It starts there," he said, and then moved her finger down, connecting it to the others in the formation.  "And looks like a stretched out ‘w'.  Do you see it now?" He asked, turning his head slightly to look at her.  He took in her ragged breathing and saw her tongue dart out, licking her lips as she swallowed.  His lips were mere centimeters away from her.  He could tilt his head slightly as brush them across her cheek.  He closed his eyes and leaned towards her. 

"Yeah." She breathed and he opened his eyes.  "W-what..." she cleared her throat and he smirked at her obviously flustered state.  Her resistance was breaking.  "What other constellations are out tonight?" She asked.  He turned his head once more to the sky, though he kept his hand on her hip and her hand in his.

"Pegasus is out." He replied once more turning her body with his and raising her arm.  He drew an imaginary line with her finger connecting the stars in the constellation.  "Other than that, I don't know any of the other ones that are up right now." He answered honestly. 

~~~~~

Holy hell!  Rachel thought as JC slowly released her and stepped away--the cool night air rushing to fill the space behind her that his body had occupied just seconds before.  She placed her hands on the railing in front of her and struggled to gain control of her breathing, while her heart was jumping wildly in her chest.  It had taken everything in her not to lean back against him when he'd come up behind her, and when he'd placed his hand on her hip?  She thought she was going to die.  And the stupid thing was she still didn't know where the damn constellations were!  She'd been too preoccupied with the feel of his arms around her, the spicy scent of his aftershave that she'd come to miss, and the low, sensual tone of his voice in her ear to pay any attention whatsoever to what he was showing her.  She looked up at the sky trying to distract herself and a sudden string of memories came to mind.

"I remember when I was younger," she found herself saying out loud, "My mom and I would sit out on the back porch after dinner sometimes and talk." Rachel smiled wistfully.  "That was our time.  We would sit out there for hours sometimes just looking at the stars, talking and laughing.  When she died..."  Rachel stopped.  She didn't know why she was telling him this but felt like she needed to so she continued.  "When she died...I'd sit outside by myself at night and wonder if she was up there somewhere-watching over me like she said she would be."  She cleared her throat and blinked back the tears that had suddenly formed.

"How did she die?" JC asked quietly.

"Breast cancer." Rachel replied.  "She uh...she got really sick right after Christmas one year, but by the time the doctors figured out what it was it was too late.  It had already spread." 

"How old were you?"

"Seventeen." She wiped the tears that had escaped from her face and tried to laugh.  "It's been ten years.  You'd think I'd be used to it by now.  Look at me."  She turned to look at him, her smile faltering at the emotion she saw shining in his blue eyes. 

"It's okay to cry, Rachel." He told her, reaching his hand out and brushing the tears from her face.  "It's okay to still hurt--no matter how long it's been.  She was your mother."  As if his permission were all she needed, Rachel found herself in his arms, crying softly against his chest while he held her.  "It'll be okay." He assured her, his voice low as lifted a hand to the back of her head and brushed his lips across her temple.  "I'm here." He said, tightening his other arm around her.  "I'm not going anywhere."

After allowing herself to cry for a few more minutes Rachel pulled back and wiped the tears from her face.  "I'm sorry." She said.  "Wow."  She sniffed a few times.  "I didn't mean to come over and completely fall apart like this."

"Look at me." He said softly, but firmly, as he took her face in his hands.  "Don't ever apologize to me about what you're feeling." He told her.  "If you're hurting I want to know about it." He swiped his thumbs across her face, wiping away her tears.  "I'm sorry that you've had a lot of crap hit your fan over the years and I'm sorry I've been part of that crap recently.  You are so incredibly wonderful and amazing and at the risk of sounding ridiculously cheesy, I'm beginning to wonder how I ever survived without you.  I know you've been hurt in the past.  I know you're afraid to trust me again but I'm not going anywhere, Beautiful.  Whether you like it or not you're stuck with me."

Rachel wrapped her arms around his waist as she laid her head against his chest.  JC put his arms around her protectively and rested his chin against the top of her head.  She closed her eyes, relishing the security and comfort she felt in his embrace and she knew.  No more was he simply the boy she'd dreamt about and drooled over.  No more was he the idol she'd placed on a pedestal all these years.  He was just a man--beautifully flawed and imperfect.  She listened to the steady beat of his heart and realized her own was beating in time with his.  We're in sync. She thought and smiled at the cheesy play on words.  As he brought his hand up to cradle the back of her head once more, his lips softly pressing themselves to her temple, Rachel realized that-for better or worse-he was it for her; her soul mate, her other half and it was finally time to let him in.  

~~~~~~

"Do you have plans tomorrow night?" JC asked the next afternoon, startling Rachel at work.  She gasped in surprise as she looked up from the room design she was sketching. 

"What are you doing here?" She asked as he sat down with a chuckle. 

"I asked you a question first." He replied and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"What are my plans for tomorrow night?" She repeated his question.  He nodded.  "Hmmm..." she thought for a moment.  "I don't know.  I was thinking about maybe cutting my hair--"

"Please don't." He interrupted her, his expression serious.

"Wow." She chuckled.  "I had no idea you were so attached to my hair.  Okay." She smiled.  "Then apparently I have no plans."  JC said nothing, sliding something across the desk towards her.  "What is this?" Rachel asked, reaching for the laminated rectangle he'd pushed her way.  Her eyes widened when she realized what it was she was holding.  "Jace...this is..." She looked at him in surprise.  "Really?" She asked, getting excited.

He nodded, his eyes sparkling.  "Justin's doing a show tomorrow night and we're going to be doing one of the songs we wrote together.  I want you to come."

"This is an all access, VIP backstage pass." Rachel told him in astonishment as she held it up in front of him-as if he didn't already know what he'd just given her.

"I know." He grinned.  "So will you come?" He asked.

"How can I say no to this?" She inquired with a smile.

"Great!" He answered with an adorable grin.  "Then I'll pick you up around six-thirty." With that he stood and disappeared as quickly as he'd materialized.  Rachel rolled her chair over and poked her head out into the aisle, watching as he walked back towards the lobby.  She smiled when he turned around and winked at her.  Moving her chair back to her desk Rachel grabbed her phone and flipped it open. 

Guess what I just got?

She sent the text to Megan and waited, looking at the pass she was still holding--an excited giggle escaping her lips.  Her phone vibrated and she flipped it open.

What?  Just tell me.  I don't want to guess.

She quickly typed her response and sent it to Megan.

JC just asked me to come with him to Justin's concert on Sat!  I am holding a VIP back-stage pass in my hands!

Rachel waited for Megan's reply.

No way!  Are you serious?!

She chuckled then opened a blank message.

Of course I'm serious! What the hell am I going to wear??