"Number eight!"

Rachel turned around in surprise as JC burst into the house the next Friday evening. 

"Number eight!" He exclaimed excitedly.  "I'm number eight!"

Rachel looked at JC, laughing at his excitement though she had no idea what was going on.  "What do you mean you're number eight?" She asked.

"The album!" He said putting his arms around her and picking her up.  "My album's number eight!" His eyes lit up as he laughed.  Rachel put her arms around his neck as he spun her around. 

"Really?!" Rachel exclaimed.  "Ah!  That's fantastic!  Congratulations!" She said, jumping up and wrapping her legs around his waist as she kissed him.  "How does it feel?" She asked, smiling down at him.

"Incredible!" He replied smiling at her.  "Schizophrenic only made it to seventeen, so I wasn't expecting much, but this..." he shook his head and bounced her in his arms.  "This is awesome!" He laughed and placed a series of excited kisses to her lips.  "I'm in the top ten!"

"I told you it was a good album." She said.  "I knew you'd do good."

"No, it's you." He said, kissing her again.  "You're my good luck charm."  Rachel smiled and put her hands on his face as she kissed him back.  "Let's go celebrate." He said, pulling back slightly. 

"What do you want to do?" Rachel asked with a laugh.

"I want you to put on that little black dress you wore to the release party last week and we're going to go find a hot club somewhere." He said kissing her again, his lips lingering longer this time.

"Mmmm." Rachel moaned then licked her lips.  "Okay."  She smiled.  JC released her and she slid down his body until she stood facing him.  His arms were still around her waist as he looked at her with a goofy grin on his face.  "Jace?" She asked after a few seconds.

"Yeah?"

"You gotta let me go if you want me to get ready." She giggled.

"Oh.  Right." He said with a reluctant sigh.  Rachel laughed as he playfully swatted her rear and followed her upstairs. 

~~~~~~

"Aubrey?" Rachel asked in disbelief as she ran into the girl at the bar. 

"Rachel!" Aubrey said finishing the swallow she'd taken of the drink in her hand and smiled.

"I didn't take you for the club kind of girl." Rachel said above the noise of the club as she grabbed the drinks she'd ordered for herself and JC. 

"That's because I'm not." Aubrey said, looking around the crowded club then back at Rachel.

"Then why are you here?" Rachel asked with a laugh.

"I don't know." Aubrey confessed with a laugh of her own.  "A moment of insanity?  I'm not staying for long..."

"What?" Rachel exclaimed.  "It's only nine o'clock.  The night is young!  Come on." She said, gesturing with her head as she turned and began winding through the crowd back towards the table she and JC had in the VIP section. 

"What are you doing here?" Aubrey asked as she followed Rachel.

"Celebrating." Rachel told her, looking over her shoulder with a smile.  "Jace's album debuted at number eight this week."

"That's awesome!" Aubrey replied excitedly.

"Yeah, he's pretty excited." Rachel said. 

"Hey!" JC said as the girls reached the table.  He took the drink Rachel handed him and pressed a quick kiss to her lips as she slid into the booth next to him. 

"Look who I found." Rachel said taking a drink of the strawberry daiquiri she'd gotten.

"Hey, Aubrey." JC smiled.

"Hi." Aubrey replied as she sat down across from the couple.

"What are you doing here?" JC asked, putting his arm around Rachel's shoulders.

"Uh, well..." Aubrey chuckled self-consciously.  "I was in the mood to try something new and thought this would be a good place to meet some new people."

"Have you met anyone interesting yet?" Rachel asked, curious.

"Not yet." Aubrey chuckled.  "But like you said, the night is young."

Rachel laughed.  "There are always a few weirdoes at these places.  But every once in a while you meet someone great." She took another sip of her drink.  "This one time, I drug Megan out to a club with me and--"

"Hey man!"

Rachel stopped and she, JC and Aubrey looked up as Chase Crawford came up to their table with a tall brunette attached to his arm.  She released her hold on Chase as he and JC shook hands--Chase giving him a congratulatory slap on the shoulder.  "Congratulations on the album."

"Thanks." JC said leaning back again.  Rachel smiled at the satisfied smirk on his face.  "This is my girlfriend, Rachel." JC said in introduction. 

"Hi, Rachel." Chase said, reaching his hand out to her.

"Hi." Rachel smiled and accepted his hand.

"And this is Aubrey." JC said gesturing across the table.  "She's a friend."

"Nice to meet you." Chase said, shaking Aubrey's hand.  Rachel took a drink of her daiquiri to hide her chuckle at the look on Aubrey's face.  It was as if the girl had no idea who Chase was but was trying to cover it up by acting interested in the fact that he was shaking her hand and paying her any attention.

"See ya, man." Chase said, lifting his hand as he left with his date.

"So, can I ask a really dumb question?" Aubrey asked a few seconds later.  Rachel nodded.  "Who was that?"

"What?" JC asked incredulously. 

"I knew it." Rachel laughed.  "That was Chase Crawford." She explained.  "He and Jace have the same manager.  He's on Gossip Girl."

"Oh." Aubrey replied, her eyes betraying the fact that she still had no idea who he was. 

"You don't watch that show do you?" Rachel asked.

"Nope." Aubrey said with a shake of her head.

"Seriously?" JC asked in shock.  "What girl doesn't watch that show?"

"I've lead a pretty sheltered life." Aubrey explained.

"How old are you?" JC asked.

"Twenty-one."

"Time to quit being sheltered." He said.  "Live a little."

"Is this one of those ‘no regrets' speeches?" Aubrey asked, rolling her eyes good-naturedly.

"Oh, you've heard it before?" JC teased.

"Yeah." Aubrey smiled and looked down at her now empty glass.

"Let's go dance." JC said to Rachel.

"But...I want to talk to Aubrey." Rachel said.

"You guys can talk at work." JC said.

"But..."

"No, it's okay." Aubrey said, putting her hands up.  "I think I'm going to leave."

"What?" Rachel asked.  "You can't leave."

"Rach." JC said with a chuckle.  "If she wants to go, let her go.  Come on."  He said standing and helping her out of the booth.

"But..." Rachel hedged again, looking at Aubrey as she stood next to JC.

"Rachel, its fine." Aubrey laughed.  "Go.  Like I said, I'm leaving."

"Okay.  If you're sure..."

"I am."

"She is." JC said at the same time.

Rachel turned and playfully slapped JC's chest.  "Quiet." She said with a laugh. 

"Ow." He said rubbing his hand over his chest then put his arms around Rachel from behind. 

"You two have fun." Aubrey said as JC rested his chin on Rachel's shoulder.  "And congratulations, JC." She said.

"Thanks." He replied.

"Bye." Rachel said as Aubrey left.

"Can we dance now?" JC asked as he pressed his lips beneath her ear.

"Yeah." Rachel said turning in his arms.  She smiled up at him and drew her bottom lip between her teeth as he stepped away from her--his hand running down her arm until he reached her hand--then lead her out onto the dance floor, his eyes never leaving hers.  Rachel felt a bit giddy at the look in his eyes and wished for a second that they were at home instead of surrounded by hundreds of relative strangers.  We could be having our own private dance party right now. Rachel thought as JC spun her around and they began moving with the beat of the song playing.

They danced as the DJ spun a couple songs until Rachel had to stop to put her hair up.  "I'm hot." She said, gathering her long hair off of her neck and twisting it back.

"Yeah, you are." JC commented with a wink.  Rachel rolled her eyes though she grinned.  She watched as JC's attention was grabbed by something behind her and she twisted to look over her shoulder.  Turning back she rolled her eyes again, this time out of disgust.  "Oh brother." She muttered. 

"JC!" Paris Hilton said coming up to them. 

"Hey." He said looking at the heiress.

"I listened to your album." Paris said.  "It's hot." She said putting her hand on her hip. 

"Thanks." JC said and Rachel put her hand up to cover her mouth at the annoyance she heard in his voice.  When he made no more move to make conversation with her, Paris turned and left. 

"She's ridiculous." Rachel said.

"She's nice." JC said sticking up for her.  She looked at him in shock.  "What?" He asked.  "She is...underneath all the...all the..." He hesitated.

"Underneath all the what, JC?" Rachel asked putting her hands on her hips.  "What exactly have you been ‘underneath' with her?"

"What?" He asked with a laugh. 

"Oh don't ‘what' me.  She's Paris Hilton.  I'm not an idiot.  She has this...strange pull on men.  You can't tell me that when you were helping her with her album that the thought didn't cross your mind."

"You're right, I can't tell you that because it did." He answered honestly.  "I'm a guy, what can I say?" He shrugged.  "But that was a long time before I knew you existed and that's all it was: a thought." JC said.  Rachel looked at him with one eye brow cocked.  JC chuckled then leaned down and pressed his lips against hers.  "Let's get out of here." He said.

"But you wanted to celebrate." Rachel said.  "Are you done?"

"Oh, no.  We're still going to celebrate." He said with a smirk.  "Just in more..." he bobbed his head back and forth, "private setting." 

Rachel shook her head and laughed as he put his arm around her shoulders.  "Whatever you want, pop star." She told him slipping her arm around his waist.

"Is that a promise?" He asked an evil glint in his blue eyes as he looked down at her.

"Yes." Rachel replied leaning up and kissing him.   

~~~~~~

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.  You make me happy, when skies are grey..."  JC held his headphones up to one ear as he sang into the microphone in front of him.

"Stop, stop, stop."

He looked up at Marcus sitting behind the glass in the studio.  "What?" JC asked.  He was already frustrated enough at having to sing this song.  The sooner he could get it recorded the sooner he could go home. 

"It's not right." Marcus said.

"What do you mean it's not right?" JC asked, ignoring the fact that Marcus was his manager-not a music producer--and put the headphones down.  Placing his hands on his hips he said, "It's a stupid song that everyone knows, is there really a wrong way to sing it?"

"Don't cop this attitude with me, Jace." Marcus said.  "We both know you need to do this if you want to go anywhere--"

"I'm done." JC said, walking out of the recording booth. 

"What do you mean ‘you're done'?" Marcus asked, following him out into the hall. 

"I'm thirty-two, Marcus." JC said turning around and facing the older guy.  "I just released my second album which, may I remind you, is in the top ten."  He began raising his voice in frustration and pointing back at the small booth he'd been in.  "I do not need to be wasting my time singing some stupid children's song."

"If you want to be good, you do." Marcus said.

"If I want..." JC looked at his manager in amazement.  "If I want to be good?"

"Justin would do it." Marcus replied casually as he looked at his fingernails.

"I don't believe this!" JC growled in frustration. "What do I have to do to prove myself?  Why do I always--"

"No, I didn't like that song."

JC turned in surprise at the familiar voice coming down the hall and watched in bewilderment as Rachel walked towards him.  "Rach?  What are you doing here?" But she didn't answer him.  She just kept walking down the hall talking to Aubrey as if he didn't exist. 

"I liked the song Justin sent over last week.  I want to sing that one." Rachel said.

"Sing?" JC muttered under his breath.  "Rachel." He said, reaching out and grabbing her arm, stopping her.  She stopped and looked down at his hand on her arm then up at him.  "What's going on?" He asked.

"I'm working on my album, what does it look like I'm doing?" She asked, looking at him like he was an idiot for even asking the question.

"But you told me you didn't want to be a singer." He said.

"Yeah, well things change." She replied flippantly.  "Can you let me go?"  She asked.  "I'm on a tight schedule and I'm going to be late."

"Sorry." He said, taken back at her attitude.  He turned and watched her continue walking down the hall and into a different recording studio.  Confused, and more than a little frustrated, JC turned around.  What the hell is going on? He wondered as he walked out of the building-ignoring Marcus as he called after him. 

Reaching the door he pushed it open, but instead of walking out into the L.A. sunshine like he expected, he found himself in the club he and Rachel had been at Friday night.  JC lifted the bottle of beer that had suddenly appeared in his hand to his lips and took a swig, his eyes fixed on Rachel as she stood dancing in the middle of the dance floor.  A strange sense of déjà vu washing over him as he stood--much like he'd done when they'd first met at a club--and watched her body moved fluidly to the music.  He didn't understand what was going on, but he was going to put a stop to it.  She was his girlfriend and he didn't like the fact that she was dancing with every guy in the club while ignoring him.  Once he was in a relationship he was committed 110% and he expected the same from the girl he was with.  If Rachel had decided she couldn't do that...suddenly JC saw red as Rachel put her arms around Rob and began dancing seductively with the guy.  Slamming the bottle in his hand down on the table, JC stalked towards her.

"Rachel." JC said, shoving his way through the crowd around her, but she acted as if she couldn't hear him.  "Rachel." He said, putting his hand on her arm like he'd done at the studio earlier as he yanked her away from her boss.

"What is your problem?" She asked, turning to face him as the scene around them changed and they were suddenly standing in their bedroom at home. 

"That's my question." He said.  "What the hell is going on?  Why have you been ignoring me all day?"

"Look, I don't know what your problem is." Rachel said putting her hands on her hips. 

"My problem?" JC asked, completely confused.

"I think you're just jealous that everyone loves me now and you need to get over it.  You're really not all that good of a singer anyway." She told him.  He just stood there looking at her completely speechless.  "Everybody knows it."  She turned and began walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" He asked.  "We're not done."

"I'm done." She told him turning and looking at him.  "I'm leaving." She said, putting a hand on her hip.

"What do you mean ‘you're leaving'?"

"I'm leaving.  I'm done with this." She said.

"With what?" He questioned, his heart starting to beat frantically.

"With you and me."

JC stood and stared at her. "What?!  Wh-why?  What did I do?" He asked. 

"Nothing.  I'm just done."  And with that she turned and left. 

"Wait.  Rachel, no!"

JC sat up in bed in a cold sweat, his breath and heart rate frantic.  He looked over at Rachel's side of the bed to convince himself that what had just happened was only a dream.  But she wasn't there. "Rachel?" He called out frantically.  He scrubbed his hands over his face as he fell back against his pillow.  The dream had been so real.   He turned his head as he reached over--his hand stealing under the covers on her side of the bed.  The sheets were still warm and he rolled over, burying his nose in her pillow as he inhaled the subtle aroma of her perfume.  "Rachel!" He called out again as he threw the blankets off him and moved to stand.  He walked into the bathroom but again she wasn't there.  "Rach?" He asked, walking out of the bedroom and down the stairs.

"Yeah?" She called out.

JC breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of her voice--the sounds of her moving around in the kitchen calmed his fears somewhat but he needed to see her; needed to touch her.  He walked into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her from behind, stopping her as she moved across the room. 

"Jace?" She chuckled as she looked over her shoulder at him.  "What's going on?" She asked turning in his arms.

"Nothing I, uh..." He placed a hand to her face then leaned down and kissed her deeply.

"Mmmm." Rachel moaned when he pulled back.  "Good morning to you, too." She said with a dreamy look on her face.  He smiled.  "Can you let me go now?" She asked.

"Where are you going?" He inquired removing his arms from around her. 

"Work." She replied as she turned back to the yogurt she'd put on the counter when he'd come downstairs.  "It's Monday again, remember?" She teased.

"It's six-thirty." He said, looking at the clock on the stove.

"Yeah, and I'm going to be late.  I'm supposed to meet Rob downtown at seven."

"Rob?" JC asked, his defenses rising immediately as the images from his dream bombarded him. 

"Yeah, Rob." Rachel told him.  "My boss." She clarified.  "Remember?  The guy I introduced you to and who you refused to shake hands with." She walked over to the table and gathered up the notebooks she'd been working on over the weekend and shoved them into her red messenger bag. 

"I don't like that guy." JC grumbled leaning back against the counter as he folded his arms across his chest. 

"I know." She chuckled.  "That was pretty obvious." She teased him.

"Seriously, Sass." He said straightening as she moved to walk past him.  He put his hand on her arm.  "I don't like you working with him."

Rachel looked up at him.  "What?  Why?" She asked him.

"I just...I don't like it."

"This is a big deal to me, Jace.  This project is a big deal to me.  I'm the head of the design team!  This is a chance for me to really go somewhere in my career!"

"I know." He sighed.  "I know.  I just..." He hesitated again and Rachel put her arms around him.

"Kiss me." She said with a smile.

"What?" He looked down at her, confused.

"Kiss me." She repeated.  He did as she requested then rested his forehead against hers.  "Everything's going to be fine.  I promise." Rachel said, her brown eyes delving into his. 

"You don't know that." He said.  "I don't like the way he looks at you."

Rachel laughed as she stepped back.  "What do you think is going to happen?  Don't you trust me?" She asked.

"No." He said and she gasped.  "No!" He rushed to correct himself.  "I meant no, I do.  I do trust you.  It's...it's him I don't trust."

Rachel narrowed her eyes as she looked at him.  "You spend a lot of time working with Sarah and you don't see me jumping to conclusions." Rachel replied her voice a bit clipped.

"That's different." JC insisted.  "Sarah is married."

"It's not different, Jace." She insisted.  "They're both work related.  They both mean nothing on any level deeper than professionalism." He scoffed as he folded his arms across his chest.  "What?" Rachel asked.  "What is this?" She asked waving her hand at his childish pouting.

"We were work related." He told her, one dark brow raised.

"You and I both know that what we have between us started way before we began a working relationship." She told him.  "You're being a bit ridiculous, Jace."  She said reaching up and kissing his cheek.  "You need to calm down." She told him, putting a hand to the cheek she had just kissed.  She rubbed her thumb across his bottom lip then kissed him again.  "I'm going to be late.  I love you.  I'll call you later." She said as she turned and grabbed her keys then left the house. 

~~~~~~

"I don't like the way he looks at you...it's him I don't trust...I don't like that guy..."

JC's words continued to echo through Rachel's head, along with the vulnerability she'd seen--though he'd tried to hide it--in his blue eyes that morning.  She'd had to rush out of the house to make it to her appointment on time when all she'd really wanted to do was sit him down and make him tell her what was going on.  Now, as she sat waiting for the architects and contractors she and Rob were meeting with to show up she had time to think about her bizarre morning.  JC's petulant behavior had been so random and unexpected that Rachel was left scrambling, trying to figure out what had set him off this time.  This was getting to be a bit ridiculous.  She'd gotten used to his flairs of jealousy whenever she teased him about anything related to Justin, but something bigger was going on this time; something that he didn't want to tell her.  Why doesn't he want to tell me?  She wondered. 

"Are you alright?" Rob asked as he sat down beside her, cradling a steaming cup of coffee he'd gone to get.

"What?" Rachel asked, looking at her boss in confusion.

"You looked like you were deep in thought." He said.  "Is everything alright?"

"Oh." She replied.  "Yeah."  She smiled.  "Everything's great."

Rob set his cup down on the table and reached over, covering her left hand with his.  "Sometimes it helps to talk it out with someone who's not involved with the situation." He said looking at her intently, his grey eyes holding hers.  Rachel fought the urge to shudder and chose to overlook the queasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"I'm fine." Rachel said, withdrawing her hand from beneath his.  Resisting the urge to wipe the feel of his touch from her she clasped her hands in her lap.  "Really." She told him forcing a smile.  As if I would tell you anything.  She thought, focusing her eyes on the papers in front of her and praying the guys they were meeting with would show up.  Quickly. 

As luck would have it, her guardian angel must have been listening for the two architects and the project contractor walked into the room a few seconds later and Rachel was able to forget about the concerns she had about her boyfriend's mental and emotional well being, as well as her boss's unwanted attention as she swiftly and easily kicked into professional mode.  This is it.  She thought as all eyes turned to her, awaiting her presentation of the design scheme she'd come up with.  This was her time to shine.  This was her time to show everyone that she truly was the designer they all thought she was.  This was the time to show them what she was made of.

~~~~~~

"When were you going to tell me you did an interview in People?" Megan asked over the phone as Rachel was driving home that night.  Rachel grimaced.

"Uh...I forgot, sorry." She said.

"You forgot?" Megan asked in disbelief.  "How do you forget that you did an interview with a major entertainment magazine?!"

"I'm sorry." Rachel said.  "I've been kind of busy and things are a little crazy at work and now JC's acting all weird and I...I just forgot, okay?"

"A little warning next time would be nice." Megan replied with a chuckle.  "I think I screamed when I saw your guy's picture on the cover and people were stopping and staring at me."

Rachel laughed.  "I promise," she said.  "The next time we do an interview with People you'll be the first to know."

"Okay, good."  Megan said.  "Now, what do you mean JC's acting weird?  What's going on?"

"That's what I'd like to know." Rachel said.  She told Megan about his bizarre behavior that morning.  "I don't know what his deal is." She exclaimed as she pulled into the garage.  "He was acting like he'd caught me sneaking around having an affair or something."

"Guy's are weird." Megan stated.

"You can say that again." Rachel laughed as she stayed sitting in her car looking at the house. 

"No, I mean it." Megan said.  "You know for all their claims about us being moody and difficult...they should try living with themselves someday!"  Both girls laughed.

"I think he's just stressed out about wanting the album to do well." Rachel said as she finally got out of the car.  "I'm home now so I'm going to go talk to him and see if I can figure out what his deal is."

"Good luck." Megan offered.

"Thanks." Rachel said.  "I'll call you later.

"Alright.  Have a good night." Megan said then hung up.  Rachel took a deep breath then opened the front door to the house.

"Honey, I'm home."  She called out in a sing-song voice as she walked inside.  "Jace?" She asked when she was met with only silence.  "You here?"  She set her keys down on the counter and unbuttoned the two buttons on her black suit jacket as she walked into the family room.  He wasn't there.  "Jace?" She called out again, throwing the jacket over the arm of the couch and putting her hands on her hips.  She knew he was home--his car was in the garage.  Where the hell is he?  She thought.  Visions of the night she'd come over when he'd gotten drunk flashed through her mind and she walked over to the stairs leading to the basement, but everything was dark down there.  She walked back into the kitchen and took her cell phone from her purse.  Dialing his number she waited, straining to see if she could hear his familiar ring tone.  The faint melody hit her ears and she followed the sound back into the family room only to discover his phone wedged between a couple cushions on the couch.

"What good does this do you if you don't have it on you?" She muttered under her breath.  "Joshua!" She called out.  "Where are you?"  She was really starting to panic now.  She jogged up the stairs and into their room.  Nothing.  Walking back downstairs she once again went to the door to the basement.  Wondering if he were perhaps down in the studio she flipped on the lights and was about to go down when she heard a noise out on the back porch.  Walking over to the French doors she opened one and stepped outside.

"Please tell me you're not drunk." She said as she spotted him sitting in one of the deck chairs, an opened beer bottle in one hand.  He looked over at her slowly.  "Things never really end well when you're drunk." She teased, trying to laugh away the stress she'd been feeling moments before. 

"I'm not drunk." He said turning his head and resting it back against the chair once more.  He sighed as he looked out over the back yard. 

"What's going on?" Rachel asked casually as she walked towards him.  She'd had all day to think about his behavior earlier and stew about what all his cryptic little remarks had meant.  It was unfathomable to her that he could still question her love and loyalty, but for some reason he did.  It was the only explanation she'd been able to come up with.  For some reason there was just enough doubt in his mind in regards to the genuineness of her feelings and the validity of their relationship that he was still insecure about everything and it made her angry.  Not at him, but at whomever it was in his past that had hurt him so deeply. 

"You okay?" She asked quietly as she came to sit on the arm of the chair.  She reached out and ran her fingers through his hair as he turned to look up at her and she fought the tears that wanted to fall.  His eyes were dull and his countenance was bleak.  He hadn't shaved--which normally she found a bit sexy, but now only served in adding to his haggard appearance--and she wondered how long he'd been sitting out here.  "What's going on?" She asked again.

"I don't want to talk about it." He finally said bringing the beer bottle up to his lips and taking a healthy swallow of the alcohol.  

Rachel frowned.  "Wrong answer." She told him.  She took the bottle from him and set it down on the ground.  Then--before he could do anything--she moved to sit in his lap.  Putting her arms around his neck she looked at him, her eyes holding his-refusing to let him go.  "I'm going to ask you one more time.  What's going on?"

He was quiet for a long time then finally, "I don't know." He sighed. 

"Is this about this morning?" Rachel asked as he put his arms around her waist.  He nodded.  "Tell me." She requested.

"It's stupid." He closed his eyes and shook his head. 

"It's not stupid if it's still affecting you this strongly." She said quietly, putting a hand on his face.  He opened his eyes and looked at her.  "I want to know.  Please?"  She asked. 

"I had a dream last night." He began.  "About you and me."  He paused.  "You, uh...I kept trying to talk to you in different settings but you kept ignoring me and then when I finally got the chance to talk to you told me you were leaving me.  I stood there and watched you walk out the door and I couldn't do anything to stop you.  And then I woke up and you...you weren't there.  I freaked out." He chuckled self-consciously but Rachel remained quiet.  "I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize." Rachel told him.  "It was just a dream.  But, I don't understand why it's affecting you like this.  Help me understand."

"I don't know if I can articulate it." He told her.

"Try." She begged.  He remained quiet as she put her cheek against his and hugged him tightly.  After a moment she pulled back and looked at him.

He lifted a hand and gently brushed the back of his fingers across her cheek.  "I'm scared to death of waking up one morning to find out my dream has become a reality. This isn't the first time I've had a dream like that." He told her.  "I don't want to lose you, Rachel, but I...I know that I have no control over that.  I can't make you stay." He was quiet for a moment and Rachel put her hand over his where it still rested on her cheek.  "No matter how much I love you," he continued.  "Or how much I need you, I can't make you stay and it scares the hell out of me."

"I'm not leaving." Rachel told him blinking back the tears that had come with his admission. 

"Everyone else has." He responded quietly and Rachel's heart broke for him.  The tears fell at the pain he had been through and was still going through. 

"What happened?" She asked.

"I don't want to dig up the past." He said his blue eyes pleading with her not to make him talk about it.  She knew he didn't want to relive his painful history but she also knew, from personal experience, that as much as you didn't want to talk about something it was usually better when you did.  It was all part of the healing process.  Without this painful but necessary step of cleansing out old wounds you couldn't expect the scars to ever heal properly.  They would always be left festering inside--infecting and poisoning you slowly.

"Please?"  She begged as she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close--her fingers sliding into his hair as he wound his arms around her.  "Let me in, Josh." She whispered.  "Please.  Let me in."