JC sighed.  Rachel pulled back and looked at him.  Her brown eyes were full of nothing but love and empathy and the sight should have given him the courage to voice the thoughts and feelings running through his head but he didn't know if he could do it.  He knew he needed to open up and trust her, but he was scared--terrified, actually.  A part of him wanted to tell her.  He was sick of carrying everything around, pretending to be happy and okay with life when all he really wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry like a baby.  But a bigger part was afraid--afraid that by telling her everything he'd be putting ideas into her head and she'd just end up leaving him as well.  Their relationship had already tempted fate one too many times. They'd been lucky and he didn't know how much more they could get away with.

An evening breeze brushed passed them, stirring Rachel's hair and making her shiver slightly in his arms.  "Are you cold?" He asked, noticing for the first time that she was only wearing a thin pink cami. 

"I'm okay." She said.  "Jace, I'm okay." She insisted as he scooted her off his lap and stood. 

"Let's go inside." He said.  "This could...take a while."  Rachel looked up at him and grabbed his hand, lacing her fingers with his as she held onto him tightly.  "Come on." He said, leading her inside.  Once they were settled inside on the couch Rachel turned to him.

"I feel like I need to apologize to you." She said.

"Apologize to me?" He asked, bewildered.  "Why?"

"Because I'm suddenly feeling very selfish.  After you...well, when I left and you came and found me in Phoenix I was so messed up that I couldn't really deal with my own problems let alone yours.  Then we got back together and things were better between us and I kind of forgot that you were still dealing with stuff." She reached up and placed her hand against his face.  She rubbed her thumb across his cheek as she looked at him.  "You never got the chance to really talk about everything and I'm sorry.  I didn't--"

"Stop." JC said suddenly standing.  "This isn't your fault." He told her as he began to pace around the room.  "It's me." He pointed at himself.  "It's me.  When I was...when the group was together I was forced to keep quiet about things because of the fame and the image we were told to portray and I've been holding everything in ever since out of habit.  I've always been a private person and it's hard for me to talk about some things but I know I need to." He took a deep breath.  "I don't know where to start..." He chuckled nervously as he raised one hand and rubbed the back of his neck.

"How about the beginning?" Rachel asked as she pulled her legs up beneath her and leaned against the arm of the couch while she kept her eyes on him.

"Okay, well..." he cleared his throat.  "Um...about twelve years ago, right when everything started taking off with the group, I was introduced to Bobbie.  She was pretty and we had fun together, but we were both stubborn and opinionated and were always fighting and breaking up but..." he sighed.  "She understood me, to an extant.  She understood that I was a celebrity and seemed to be okay with the fact that my life was crazy and I was always out of town so I kept going back to her.  Then the articles started coming out." He shook his head and sunk down in the chair across the room.  "At first I overlooked them because I knew what she did.  I knew she was a journalist that that it was inevitable that she'd be asked to write about us but then they started getting kind of personal.  She started writing about a lot of the things that were shared between us as a group and were meant to be kept private. I confronted her about it.  She told me she'd stop writing the tell-all articles she was starting to become famous for but I should have known better." He shook his head.  "She kept writing them.  She was using us--me--to get ahead in her career.  I was so angry." He leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees as he put his hands into his hair.  "She lied to me and if there's one thing I can't stand it's when I know someone's lying to me."  He looked up at her.  "It seems like that's all the relationships I've been in have been about-lies.  The girls weren't who I thought they were, and apparently," he chuckled nervously to hide the emotion that felt suspiciously close to the surface.  "Apparently I can't trust my feelings." His voice cracked and he cleared his throat then sniffed.  His heart skipped as he felt Rachel slip her hand into his and looked down at her kneeling on the floor beside him.  "There were a few girls after Bobbie but the one that really hurt was Eva."  Rachel squeezed his hand reassuringly.  "That one came out of nowhere.  I knew she'd just gotten divorced and was a little hesitant at first, but we were great together--or so I thought.  Then one day--bam!" Rachel jumped slightly at his exclamation.  He shook his head.  "I didn't see the end coming." He remained quiet.

"Why do you think I'm going to leave you?" Rachel asked softly, pulling him from his thoughts.  He noted the sadness in her voice and wished he could rewind the last twenty-four hours and start everything over again--it was amazing how quickly things could change in the matter of a day.  He reached out with his free hand and caught the tear rolling down her cheek with his thumb.

"I only have my past experiences to go off of here." He replied.  "And I see a definite pattern."  

"All I want" Rachel said kneeling up and placing her hands on his face.  "All I have ever wanted--is to be with you." He watched as another tear fell down her cheek and felt horrible for making her cry.  "But when you act like this..." She continued, shaking her head slightly.  "Don't punish me for other people's mistakes, Joshua." She implored him.

"I'm not." He insisted.

"Yes you are." Rachel said.  "You keep telling me you're afraid of me leaving but when you act like this all it does is push me away.  Trust me.  Trust yourself.  Listen," she said scooting closer to him.  "It's natural to feel that when everything is going well it all must be too good to be true but Jace," Rachel reached up and ran her fingers through his hair then softly pressed her lips against his.  "It's finally your turn to have everything go right." She smiled at him.  "This has been too long in coming.  Stop worrying." She reached her fingers out and smoothed the furrow in his brow.  "I'm not going anywhere." She kissed him again, wrapping her arms around his neck.  "I love you." She said, leaning back as she licked her lips.

"I love you more." He said putting his hands on her face as he kissed her deeply.  "So much more." 

~~~~~~

April

"Hello?" Rachel answered her cell phone Saturday morning as she and JC sat eating breakfast together.

"Guess where I am?" Megan's voice came over the line.

"Um...L.A.?" Rachel replied even though she knew that was probably far from the truth.  What were the odds?

"Close.  I'm in San Diego!" Megan responded excitedly.

"What?!" Rachel exclaimed.  JC looked up at her from the newspaper he was reading in surprise.  "Seriously?"  JC gave her a funny look before going back to the paper.

"Seriously." Megan laughed.

"Yea!" Rachel squealed with a giggle.  "Wait!" She said suddenly, logic taking over.  "Is this an April Fool's joke?" She looked over her shoulder at the calendar hung up on the side of the fridge.  Megan laughed.  "If this is an April Fool's joke we will cease to be friends."

"This is not an April Fool's joke." Megan replied.  "We decided to come visit Jackson's parents for the weekend.  They've been out of the country and only saw the baby for a few days right after he was born."

"Don't go anywhere!" Rachel said suddenly standing.  "I'm coming--we're coming!" JC looked up at her again and she smiled at him.

"Okay." Megan giggled.

"Ah!" Rachel screamed.  "Okay," she laughed.  "Give me directions."

Rachel scribbled down the directions Megan gave her then hung up the phone still giggling excitedly. 

"What's going on?" JC asked folding and putting the newspaper down on the table as he finished his cup of coffee.

"Megan's in San Diego." She exclaimed as she skipped over to him and put her arms around his neck from behind.  He groaned good-naturedly.  "And you're coming with me to go see her." She said kissing his cheek. 

"Why do I have to go?" He whined.

"Because I said so."  Rachel giggled.  "Come on." She said, grabbing his hand.  JC chuckled as he allowed Rachel to pull him up.  "I'm dying to finally see that baby."

An hour and a half later JC pulled his Mercedes into the driveway of Jackson's parent's house in San Diego.  "Nice." He commented as Rachel hurried out of the car and around the front of the vehicle to grab his hand.  She smiled up at him. 

"Rachel!"

Rachel looked up and squealed as she let go of JC's hand and ran towards Megan.  JC chuckled as he put his hands in his pockets and stood back, watching the girls as they laughed and jumped around hugging each other. 

"Oh!  I've missed you!" Rachel said with a giggle as she pulled back from Megan.  "I've been going through best friend withdrawals. I hate that you live in another state.  Your hair's getting so long!" She said, reaching out and fingering Megan's shoulder length hair.

"I know." Megan sighed.  "I hate it.  I want to cut it short again, but Jackson won't let me."

"You're an adult." Rachel informed her.  "If you want to cut your hair, cut your hair.  Now," she said putting her hands on her hips.  "Where's this baby of yours?"

"He's inside." Megan laughed as she looked over Rachel's shoulder.  "Hi, JC." She smiled at him.

"Hey." He said, lifting his hand in greeting as he walked towards them.  "How are you?" He asked.

"I'm good." She said.  "I'm good.  Come in." Megan said turning and linking her arm with Rachel's.  "Jackson's waiting inside--"

"Um..." JC stopped and the girls looked back at him  "Maybe I should stay out here." He said, both girls laughing at his nervous expression. 

"Come on." Rachel said disentangling her arm from Megan's and stepping back to him.  "I'll protect you." She grinned up at him as she took his arm. 

"Oh, well in that case." He said with a smile as he kissed her quickly.  "Lead the way oh fearless protector of mine."

   Megan laughed as she opened the front door and the three of them walked into the house.

~~~~~

"Look at him." Rachel cooed.  JC watched her as she cradled six-week-old Scott in her arms--a curious expression on his face.  "Megs, he's beautiful." Rachel smiled as she looked up at Megan who was perched on the arm of the couch.

"Thanks." Megan smiled proudly.  "We think he's pretty special." She looked up at Jackson who was standing beside her.

The baby opened his eyes and yawned at Rachel.  "Well, hello." Rachel said, stroking her finger over the baby's dark, wispy hair as he fell back to sleep.  JC couldn't help but notice the serene look on Rachel's face and for the first time in his life his thoughts began wandering down uncharted paths.  I wonder...he began but shook his head.  He was only thirty-two for crying out loud!  And besides that, he and Rachel hadn't even been together for a year.  It's way too soon to be thinking about kids.  He told himself.  Although...

"Look at him." Rachel said, drawing JC from his thoughts.  She looked over at him and he pasted a smile on his face, pushing aside the feeling and thoughts coursing through him at the moment.

"He's cute." He said.  "Congratulations." He offered the new parents.

"Thank you." Megan and Jackson said in unison.  JC watched as Rachel, completely fascinated with the baby, smiled down at the bundle in her arms.  He began to wonder what it would feel like if it was his baby Rachel was cuddling and loving and a shot went through him.  This is crazy!  He scolded himself mentally.  There is no way I'm... 

"Here, hold him." Rachel said turning towards JC.

"Oh, no." He said, leaning back against the arm of the couch as he held up his hands in surrender.  "I don't think that's a very good idea.  I've haven't..." but Rachel didn't listen to him and put the baby in his arms.  "Well okay then." He said in resignation, holding the infant as best he knew how. 

"Isn't he beautiful?" She asked snuggling up to him as she looked down at the baby.  Rachel rested her chin on JC's shoulder as she reached her hand out and brushed her fingers over Scott's tiny head.  

"Jace..." She began softly. 

"Don't even think about it." JC said equally as quiet.  Rachel pulled back and looked at him, curiosity burning in the depths of her brown eyes.  He raised one dark brow as she looked over at him.

"Have you..." She trailed off as she looked at him, her brows furrowed in thought.

"I told you not to think about it." He said turning his attention back to the baby, though he felt as if his face were on fire.  Rachel said nothing just kissed him on the cheek as she relaxed beside him, resting her hand on his back.

~~~~~

"What are you guys doing the rest of the weekend?" Rachel asked Megan even though she kept her eyes on JC as he held the baby.  His comment a second ago still had her reeling.  The look in his eyes and the tone of his voice...she felt a flutter in her stomach at the idea that he had thought about the two of them having a baby.  She smiled as she rubbed his back gently, hope flaring in her chest.  After the issues that he'd brought up last week regarding his insecurities and the pain he was still dealing with in regards to his past relationships, for him to be having thoughts of this nature was a huge thing and Rachel couldn't help but feel a giddy sense of excitement. 

"Beyond a big family dinner tonight, nothing really." Megan said standing from where she'd been sitting on the arm of the couch beside Rachel as Scotty started to fuss.  "We're just here to relax.  We didn't make a lot of plans." She walked towards JC and he willingly gave her the crying baby.  She sat down in one of the chairs facing the couch and threw a blanket over the baby and her shoulder.  "Do you guys mind?" She asked, gesturing towards herself and the fact that she needed to nurse the baby.

"Nope." Rachel said.  JC cleared his throat self-consciously beside her.  Rachel looked at him in question and opened her mouth to speak but Jackson cut her off.

"Don't worry.  You get used to it." He said sitting down on the love seat next to the couch.

"You guys should come up to L.A. tomorrow." Rachel said, turning back to Megan.  "You haven't seen the house since I finished it all." She smiled.

"Yes I have." Megan grinned.  "I saw it on Cribs."

Rachel laughed.  "They didn't show everything on TV.  Plus..." she looked over at JC then put her hand up to her face and whispered loudly.  "We wouldn't have to sneak around this time." She winked at Megan.  Both girls laughed.

"Sneak around?" Jackson asked clearly confused.

"They didn't tell you about that?" JC asked the other guy in surprise.

"No." Jackson shook his head.  "What happened?"

"Nothing." Rachel said.  "We were just--"

"Breaking and entering." JC interrupted her. 

"You gave me a key!" Rachel exclaimed as she slapped his chest playfully.

"With the understanding that you were going to use it when I was out of town to let Tony in." He countered.  Rachel looked at him in shock.  "I could have had you two arrested." He said. 

"You wouldn't--" Rachel began but JC put his arm around her shoulder and covered her mouth with his hand.  The rest of her words were muffled and Megan began laughing across the room as her husband looked at her.

"It was completely harmless." Megan assured Jackson.  "We didn't do anything."

JC scoffed.  "I came home one day after meeting with my financial advisor," he nodded at Jackson, "To find my interior designer," JC pulled Rachel close ignoring the glare she was giving him.  "Giving a tour of my house to another client," he looked over at Megan, "who pretended not to know who I was as asked if I could get her Justin Timberlake's autograph."

Jackson began laughing.

"Which I'm still waiting for by the way." Megan told JC with a giggle as she positioned Scotty on her shoulder and began patting his back.

"You two are lucky I didn't call my bodyguard and have you thrown out of the house." JC said.

"As if!" Megan laughed.

"Yeah!" Rachel responded, finally succeeding in prying JC's hand away from her mouth.  "You don't even have a bodyguard."

"Oh don't let her fool you." JC said.  "Sarah may appear prim and proper but she's got a nasty left hook."

"You were already so head over heels in love with Rachel you could hardly get a complete sentence out much less call your supposed body guard!" Megan said through her continuing giggles.  JC gasped, pretending to be offended and Rachel looked over at him.  "And don't even try and deny it." Megan said, pointing her finger at him.

"I wasn't going to." He replied.  Rachel watched as JC put his arms behind his head and leaned back casually on the couch. 

"That's when I knew you were in love with her." Megan continued as if it were just the two of them in the room together.  JC said nothing.

Rachel turned to look at her best friend-wondering why Megan had never said anything that day.  "How did you know?" She asked her.

"I could see it in his eyes." Megan said with a satisfied smile.  "The way he was looking at you." She said to Rachel.  "I knew you knew who I was," she said looking back at JC.  "I knew you knew who Rachel was and, even though I didn't know why you hadn't told her you remembered her, I could see that you were terrified I was going to out you." 

"But you didn't." JC stated and Megan shook her head.  "Why not?" He asked.

Megan shrugged.  "It wasn't the right time."

   Rachel and JC looked at each other and smiled.  Megan was right.  It hadn't been the right time.  If JC had admitted to being in love with her clear back then they might not be where they were today.  They had needed more time to get to know each other.  JC reached for her hand and Rachel looked down at their entwined fingers. 

"So..." Rachel said, looking back at Megan--the two friends sharing a knowing smile.  "Back to my original question, before we got side-tracked." She nudged JC with her elbow.  "Do you guys want to come up for dinner tomorrow?"

"Sounds great." Megan said.  "What time do you want us?" 

~~~~~~

"...and this is the bedroom." Rachel said, as she led Megan into the room Sunday evening after dinner.  She cradled the baby against her chest--inhaling his sweet baby scent--as Megan looked around the room.

"Wow!" Megan said with a smile.  "It's beautiful." She said, clearly impressed.  "And is this the infamous bed?" She asked with a smirk as she ran her hands over the bedspread.

"The one and only." Rachel giggled.

"Has it lived up to the expectations?"

"And then some." Rachel replied with a sigh and both girls laughed. 

"I love the house, Rach." Megan said.  "Good job!"

"Thanks." Rachel smiled.  "What?" She asked as Megan stood looking at her.

"He looks so comfortable there." She said, pointing at the sleeping baby.  Rachel smiled as she looked down at Scott then rested her cheek against the top of his fuzzy head.  "Do you think you and JC will ever..."

"Have a baby?"  Rachel finished.  Megan nodded.  "I don't know." Rachel replied honestly. 

"Have you guys talked about it at all?" Megan asked. 

"Nope." Rachel shook her head.  "I had a dream about it though." She confessed.

"Really?" Megan asked intrigued.  "When?"

"The night Scotty was born."

"Do tell." Megan smiled as she sat down on the bed.  Rachel walked over and joined her on the mattress, leaning back against the headboard.  "Well, I was thinking about whether Jace and I would ever have a baby and I kind of got excited about the prospect, then after Jackson called to say you'd had the baby and everything was alright I had a dream that I was pregnant.  I remember I was holding a pregnancy test and I was completely shocked.  I told JC and he was so excited, but all I could think was, ‘I'm not ready.'  It really freaked me out." Rachel concluded.  "But now..." again she looked down at the baby nestled against her and couldn't help sighing wistfully.  Megan chuckled as she moved to sit beside her.

"I can't imagine my life without him now." Megan said, running her hand over the baby's head.  "But I'm going to be honest, it's a hell of a lot more work than you ever think it's going to be.  And let me tell you right now, you're never going to be ready." She looked up at Rachel.  "You're going to be the envy of millions if you can get that boy to settle down and give you a baby." Rachel chuckled.  "But if anyone can do it--it's you."

"You think so?" Rachel asked.

"I know so." Megan nodded confidently.  Rachel smiled. 

"How work going?" Megan asked changing the subject.

"It's work." Rachel replied with a sigh.

"Uh-oh.  I know that sigh." Megan said, looking at Rachel closely.  "That's not a good sigh.  What's going on?"

Rachel looked over at the open bedroom door nervously then back at Megan.  "Do you think Jackson and JC are okay?  Maybe we should go back downstairs with them."  She moved to get off the bed but Megan put her hand on Rachel's arm.

"They're fine.  They're big boys.  They can take care of themselves.  Talk." She folded her arms and looked at Rachel pointedly. 

"Sometimes I really hate that we're such close friends.  I can't hide anything from you." Rachel said.  "Fine." She took a deep breath.  "It's probably nothing but..." she hesitated again.

"Just spit it out, Rachel." Megan chuckled.

"My boss makes me uncomfortable." Rachel said, finally giving voice to the feelings she'd been struggling to push away for months now.

"Uncomfortable?" Megan questioned.  "What do you mean?  Uncomfortable how?"

"He...I don't know." Rachel huffed in frustration.  "It's hard to explain.  He just makes me feel uncomfortable."

"Has he done something inappropriate to make you feel this way?" Megan asked.

"Yes.  No.  I don't know." Rachel sighed. 

"It's a straight forward answer, Ray.  Either he's done something or he hasn't.  Which is it?"

"He...lurks." Rachel finally said.

"Lurks?" Megan asked, one brow raised in question.  "What the hell does that mean?"

"You know." Rachel said gesturing with one hand.  "He lurks.  Every time I turn around it's like he's there.  He's always asking if I want to go to lunch and he...touches me..."

"Touches you?" Megan asked in concern.  "Rachel--"

"It's nothing." Rachel rushed to assure her.  "He touches my hand mostly and sometimes puts his hand on my back."

"That's sexual harassment." Megan stated.

"Touching my hand?!" Rachel exclaimed.  "There's nothing sexual in that."

"Not for you..." Megan mumbled under her breath.  "Rachel, any unwanted physical contact from someone else can be classified as sexual harassment.  Does JC know about this?"

"No!" Rachel said emphatically.  "And don't you dare tell him."

"Rach--"

"He doesn't need to know." Rachel insisted.  "He's dealing with his own issues right now.  Besides, nothing's going on.  I'm only working with Rob on this one project and it's almost done.  We're finishing it up next week and then I'll be working on my own projects again so everything will be fine."

Megan looked unconvinced.

"Come on." Rachel said putting on a brave smile as she stood.  "I think we've left the guys alone long enough."  And with that she turned, trusting that Megan would follow her back downstairs.

~~~~~~

"Here's to another ten years!" Rob held up his glass of champagne.

"Here!  Here!"

Rachel looked around at her fellow employees at Adams & Richards and smiled as glasses were lifted all around in celebration.  Today marked the ten year anniversary of the company and everyone was in a great mood--business was steady, profits were up, and the Cooper building downtown had been finished up just a few hours ago.  Rachel took a sip of her champagne and smiled to herself.  Granted no one knew how big of a relief that last one was for her, but it still helped contribute to the general party-like atmosphere in the office.

A movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention and Rachel turned her head-Rob was slowly making his way towards her.  Rachel fought the urge to just sneak out of the party-after all, JC was leaving tomorrow for New York and she wanted to spend the evening with him--but she knew it would look bad if she were to leave early.  So instead, she made her way over to the food table, her stomach growling hungrily.  After placing a few hors d'oeuvres on her plate and grabbing the last piece of cheesecake Rachel turned then quickly took a step back.

"Rob." She said, glad she's set her glass down on the table before turning.

"I didn't get a chance to thank you earlier for all the hard work you put in to the Cooper project." He said with a smile.

"Oh." Rachel chuckled nervously.  "You're welcome.  I--" She stopped as Rob put his arms around her and pulled her close.  Rachel felt her eyebrows raise in surprise at his behavior.

"You're the best designer we have." Rob said still holding on to her.  Rachel felt awkward--she still held her plate of food in one hand.  What am I supposed to do?  She wondered, her eyes frantically skipping around the room.  She saw Aubrey standing across the room looking at her funny.

"I'm not the best." Rachel said, pulling back-hoping he'd take the hint and pull back as well.  He looked down at her, his arms still around her.

"Yes you are." He insisted.  "Your fire and determination, not to mention your creativity and beauty, make you the best designer this firm has."

How the hell do my looks make me a good designer?  Rachel wanted to ask, but had no desire whatsoever in prolonging this conversation.  "Well thank you." She said, breathing a mental sigh of relief when he finally released her and stepped back.  "I really liked working on the project.  It was different than the ones I've worked on in the past."

"I'm glad to hear you say that." Rob said.  "Because I've got another big one I'd like you to head up for me."

"Really?" Rachel asked pretending to be excited though she really wanted to refuse.

"What is it?"

"Well, I--"

"Rachel." Aubrey said coming up and interrupting Rob.  Rob glared at the receptionist though Rachel felt like kissing her.

"Can I steal her away from you, Rob?" Aubrey asked, linking her arm with Rachel's

"Sure." Rob replied politely.  "We'll talk more about this on Monday."  Rob said as Aubrey led Rachel away.

"I owe you big time!" Rachel whispered to Aubrey as the girls walked away from Rob.  Aubrey chuckled.

"You looked like you were going to be sick."  She explained.  "Couldn't have you throwing up all over Rob's expensive shoes, now could I?"  She asked, her hazel eyes sparkling mischievously.

"No, can't have that." Rachel said dryly as the girls came to a stop in the far corner of the room.

"What's going on between you and Rob?" Aubrey whispered conspiratorially.

"Nothing." Rachel told her.

"Didn't look like nothing to me." Aubrey replied.  "It definitely looked like something was going on between you two." Rachel groaned.  "Are you and JC okay?"

"We're fine." Rachel answered sharply.  "I'm sorry." She said, taking a deep breath.  "JC and I are fine.  We're great.  And nothing is going on between Rob and I." Aubrey lifted one brow.  "What?" Rachel exclaimed.

"Nothing.  It's just..."

"Yes?" Rachel prodded.

"It's just...I read a lot." Aubrey explained.  "I know how these things work."

"‘These things'?" Rachel chuckled.  "What the hell are you talking about?  Rob is my boss!  He's your boss!"

"I know." Aubrey said.  "But..."

"But what?" Rachel sighed in frustration.

"I may not know a whole lot when it comes to men, but I do know a few things and I don't think Rob has purely professional feelings for you." Aubrey stated authoritatively as she took a sip of her drink.

Rachel groaned.  "I'm going home." She said.  "Here," She handed Aubrey her plate of uneaten food.  "Suddenly I'm not hungry anymore."

"Rachel, I'm sorry." Aubrey began but Rachel held up her hand.

"It's not you." Rachel shook her head.  "I just need to leave.  JC's leaving for New York in the morning and I'm not going to see him for at least a week."  She shuddered as she looked around the room and found Rob was watching her.  "I need to go home."

"Tell JC I said hi." Aubrey offered.

"I will." Rachel smiled.  "I'll see you on Monday."

"See ya."

~~~~~~

"It didn't look like nothing to me."

"I don't think Rob has purely professional feelings for you."

Rachel hit the steering wheel of her car and cursed as Aubrey's observations wouldn't leave her alone.  How did she manage to get herself into these situations?  She hadn't done anything to warrant Rob's unwanted affection.  Why couldn't he get the hint that she wasn't interested?  Why wouldn't he leave her alone?

"And now he has a new project for me."  Rachel exclaimed out loud as she hit the last red light before turning into her and JC's neighborhood.  "Fantastic!" She grumbled.  She couldn't get Rob's hug out of her mind either and as she turned on their street she shuddered--suddenly feeling dirty.  She hadn't felt this way in a long time and hated it.  She pulled her car into the garage and got out--slamming her door a bit harder perhaps than necessary.  Taking her shoes off as she entered the house Rachel made her way upstairs wanting nothing more than a long, hot shower.

"Is that you, Sass?" JC called out from upstairs.

"Yeah." She replied.

"How was the party?" He asked.

"Oh, just great." She grumbled under her breath as she climbed the stairs.  JC turned and looked at her expectantly as she entered the bedroom.  "It was fine." She told him, taking in the state of the room.  Stuff was everywhere.  It looked like the dressers and closet had simultaneously exploded and she suddenly felt very irritated with JC.  Is it so hard to pack that he has to pull everything out?

"You okay?" He asked going back to stuffing things in the suitcase he had laid open on the bed.

"Fine." She replied walking towards the bathroom.  "I'm going to take a shower."  She said dropping her shoes by the closet as she walked past.

Rachel turned the shower on, took off her clothes, and stepped beneath the spray of water.  She stood in place for several moments letting the hot water wash away the feelings of guilt and repulsion.  Even though she knew that logically she had nothing to feel guilty about she still did.  Obviously there's something about me that attracts these guys and their unwanted affection.  She thought as she grabbed her bottle of shampoo and vigorously massaged it into her hair and scalp.  Is it the way I dress? She wondered mentally going through her work outfits.  That couldn't be it.  She was always professionally dressed.  Is it something I say? Is it some particular mannerism I have?  Hell, even JC couldn't keep his hands off me the first time he met me.

That thought made her stop.  Rachel let the loofah she'd been using slip from her fingers.  Is that the only reason he's with me? She thought.  Because I'm some sort of...of...guy magnet?  Everything inside balked at the idea.  She knew it wasn't true.  Her eyes caught sight of the ring on her left hand and she held it up in front of her.  He loved her.  She knew this.  Yet there was a small part of her that wondered...

"Rach?"

Rachel startled at JC's voice.

"Yeah?" She answered, shutting off the water and wrapping a towel around her as she stepped out of the shower.

"You planning on using all the hot water in L.A. tonight?" He teased.

"No." She chuckled as she walked into the closet and slipped into a clean pair of sweats and an old T-shirt.  She began towel drying her hair as she walked into the bedroom.  JC groaned.  "What?" she asked, noticing the room had been cleaned up.  The only evidence he'd been packing twenty minutes earlier were the suitcases stacked by the door ready for him to grab in the morning.

"That's not exactly what I was hoping you'd come out wearing."  He replied his blue eyes sparkling as he sat up on the bed.

Rachel looked down at herself uncomprehendingly.  "What exactly were you expecting me to wear to bed an evening gown?"

"No." He laughed.  "Just something with a little less...fabric..."

Rachel rolled her eyes.  "You're not getting any tonight." She said tossing her towel on the chair.

"What?!" He exclaimed.  "But I'm leaving in the morning...what did I do?" He asked.

"Nothing." Rachel said.  "I'm just not in the mood."

"Not in the...since when are you not in the mood?" JC asked standing and walking towards her. 

"I--"

"Is it that time of the month?" He asked with a teasing glint in his eyes.

"Yes." Rachel lied, taking an easy out.

"Well that's okay." He said with a smirk that normally would have made her laugh but now only succeeded in pushing her further away from him.  "There are other things we can do." He said putting his hands on her arms."

"Not tonight, pop star." She told him.

"Are you okay?" He asked his expression sobering as he really looked at her.

"I'm fine." She said.  His brow furrowed as his eyes held hers.  "I'm fine." She forced a smile.  "I left my phone downstairs." She told him stepping away from him.  "I'm going to go get it.  I'll be right back."

~~~~~

JC turned and watched Rachel leave the room.  What the hell?  He thought.  He knew her well enough how to know when she was hiding something--and she was definitely hiding something.  What had happened tonight?  And since when was she not in the mood?  He wondered angrily.  He knew she wasn't on her period--she'd had her cycle a week ago.  He hadn't really expected her to use that as an excuse.  Why had she lied to him?  He sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard as he folded his arms across his chest and waited for her to come back upstairs.  He wasn't going to let this one rest.

~~~~~

Rachel stood in the kitchen, cell phone in hand, at a crossroad as to what to do.  She began pacing, her heart pounding in her chest.  She glanced towards the stairs then turned and paced to the other end of the room.  Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth she flipped her phone open and quickly dialed Megan's number.

"Hey!" Megan answered.

"Hi." Rachel responded unenthusiastically.

"What's up?"

"Rob hugged me." Rachel told her.

"What?" Megan replied.  "He hugged you?"

"Uh-huh." Rachel bit her lip as she walked towards the basement stairs and flipped on the light.  Walking down to the game room she sunk down onto the couch and pulled her knees up in front of her.

"What happened?" Megan asked.

"We had a party after work tonight and as I was getting something to eat Rob came up behind me.  He thanked me for all the work I'd done on the Cooper building then hugged me!  And it wasn't just a hug.  It was a hug and hold." Rachel put her head down on her knees and closed her eyes.

"Was JC there?" Megan asked.

"No, thank God!" Rachel replied.  "If he were, he'd totally have decked Rob."

"Which he deserves." Megan said.

"Yes, but not in the middle of a company party!" Rachel responded.

"You need to do something about Rob before anything else happens."  Megan told her.  Rachel groaned.  "I know you don't want to but with what you've told me it sounds like he's testing your boundaries.  You haven't done anything yet about what he's done so he thinks its okay.  He's going to keep pushing the boundary till you blow the whistle on him."

"Alright." Rachel sighed. "You're right."

"Are you going to do something about it?" Megan pressed.  Rachel grimaced even though Megan couldn't see her.  "Rachel?" Megan questioned. 

"Yeah." She said.

"Are you?"

"I don't know."

"Rachel!" Megan exclaimed in exasperation.

"Look, I've got bigger problems right now." Rachel said.

"Bigger than your boss sexual harassing you?" Megan asked. 

"How about the fact that JC is waiting for me to come upstairs right now expecting to get lucky and I'm putting off going back upstairs." Rachel told her.

"Why?" Megan asked.

"Because I'm not in the mood."

"Did you tell him why?" Megan pressed.

"No." Rachel responded petulantly.  "I told him I was on my period, but I know he's going to press for us to do something when I go back up there."

"That boy needs a hobby that doesn't involve being in the dark." Megan grumbled under her breath.  Rachel laughed in spite of herself at Megan's comment.

"What am I going to do?" Rachel asked.

"Talk to him." Megan said.  "Tell him what's going on.  You have a nasty habit of hiding things from the people who love you.  Have you learned nothing over the last several months?  We're going to hang up.  You're going to march upstairs and tell JC what's been going on at work and come Monday morning you're going to tell someone about what Rob's been up to." Megan said.  "Now promise me."

Rachel took a deep breath.  "I promise." She said her heart beginning to pound at the enormity of what she'd just promised.  "Megs, I don't know--"

"Nope!" Megan interrupted her.  "You promised and I'm going to hold you to it.  You need to do this, Rachel.  All of it.  JC needs to know what's going on and Rob needs to know what he's doing is unwanted and extremely inappropriate.  I'm hanging up now."

"Okay." Rachel pouted.

"I'll call you later." Megan chuckled.

"Bye." Rachel hung up.  She sat on the couch for a few more seconds then took a deep breath and stood up.  Walking upstairs she systematically turned off all the lights, set the alarm and headed up to the bedroom.  "Jace?" She asked as she walked towards the door.  "I need to--" She stopped and let out a breath.  JC was asleep, spread out across the bed even though all the lights were on.  Rachel stepped back out into the hallway and turned off the light, then turned off the light in the bedroom and the bathroom before she crawled into bed, being careful not to wake him.  She knew he was tired and he had an early flight in the morning.  We'll talk in the morning. She promised herself hoping it would calm her racing heart, but it was hours--and one sleeping pill later--before she finally fell asleep.