A cold – no, wait – freezing day in January in DC has me and Adam on our way to somewhere in the area of downtown to do some much needed working out. And even though it’s cold as hell outside, nothing can compare to the ice house full of bitches that I’m living in. As we trampled through the white, snowy streets, we reminisced on last night’s sordid twist of events with Alicia and Christina almost rumbling in front of the confessional.
"Man, you know what’s funny?" I laughed, pulling my black and fur hood over my head.
"What?"
"I talked to Alicia damn near all night last night and I still don’t even know what the hell they got into it about."
"Are you fucking kidding me, dog?" Adam turned his navy blue cap around over his dark curls to look me in the eye, as he laughed even harder at this crazy ass situation. "Dude, that’s funny as hell."
"What? What’d I say?"
"What exactly did you and her talk about, then?"
I chuckled at our intimate conversation, but decided that right now ain’t exactly the time to spill. "Just… stuff."
"Like what?"
"No, tell me why you’re laughin’ so hard, man."
"Because, man. That’s just… wow."
Bewildered, I kept stomping on, looking straight ahead into the dreary Monday afternoon. "Well, if you know, how ‘bout you just tell me what was going on."
"I will. It’s just hilarious, and kinda ironic, that you don’t already know."
"Because…?"
"Because they were fighting about you."
The weight of my gym bag abruptly too much for my shoulder to handle, and it fell to the cold, wet sidewalk, causing me to stop with it. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Christina and Licia – their fight was all about you, bro."
"There’s no fuckin’ way that Licia would fight over a guy."
"No – well, okay." Adam laughed at his un-witty banter and stopped to recollect his thoughts. "What happened was, they were fighting about something Christina said that Alicia said about something you said."
I’m supposed to pretend that made sense? "Adam, you need to stop drinking so much, man."
"I guess you really are that dumb, huh?"
"I guess so, because I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about."
"Dude. Alicia likes you. Christina was talking about it in the confessional and Licia got mad."
Everyone has a secret
Oh, but can they keep it?
Oh, no, they can’t
I raised my eyebrow at him wondering how much of this he was making up. "So what you’re saying is that that huge blow-out was about some he-said/she-said bull?" He nodded in compliance and I had my answer.
He couldn’t be serious, though… Could he?
::::::::::
I’d been meandering through the house, searching for no one and nothing in particular when I passed the Oval Office, where Usher sat contently at the computer, smiling at whatever it was that was flashing cross the monitor.
I knocked on the wall just as he took notice of my presence. "Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?"
"Yeah, sure." He kicked the neighboring rolling chair towards me and patted the seat. "What’s up?"
I took the seat and slid towards the desk, next to Usher, before I began. "I’ve just been thinking lately about stuff, and, well, I know you’re pretty close to Licia, so I was wondering if –" Suddenly, an image of this gorgeous caramel woman with honey blonde hair and piercing hazel eyes popped onto the computer screen and all previous thoughts slipped away. "Who is that?"
"That is Beyoncè." He turned the speakers on, and this loud, brass-induced beat came pulsating through.
It all came thundering back to me. Beyoncè. The Uh-Oh chick. That was the fuckin’ song about two years ago. I don’t know how I forgot that. "That’s Beyoncè!" I repeated, happy to have recognized the song. "Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, oh no no."
"You know the song!" Usher beamed.
"Man, I used to love that booty dance."
"Got me lookin’ so crazy in love!" The horrible sound of Adam’s singing infiltrated the hallway before he entered the room with us. "What are you two doing?"
"Discovering Beyoncè," I smiled. "I remember the Uh-Oh booty dance!" I rose from my seat and started to shake my ass to some random beat that I concocted inside my head. But hey, I shook it, nonetheless as Adam joined in. "Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, oh no no!"
"No! No! No!" Usher yelled, almost cackling at us. "You’re doing it all wrong. Put some rhythm to it." He rewound the song and showed us how to properly Uh-Oh. The ass goes up on the Uh. Everything else follows suit. Just make sure the booty is up on Uh.
Our singing and dancing was going hunky dory – Adam even spiritedly supplied us with Jay-Z’s rap. Then, out of nowhere, the embarrassing sound of laughter tickled my ear and I froze. All four of the female roommates stood in the threshold of the Oval Office, giggling and pointing in amusement.
Fuck them. I kept on singing. "Got me lookin’ so crazy, my baby. I’m not myself. Lately I’m foolish, I don’t do this. I been playin’ myself and baby, I don’t care. ‘Cause…" Okay, I don’t really know anymore, but I put on a pitch perfect falsetto and rocked out to it regardless. I was having fun and I’d be damned if the wrong lyrics were gonna stop me.
::::::::::
It had to be around 6AM when the blaringly annoying sound of Usher’s voice shook me from slumber and damn near sent me rolling to the floor from my bed.
"Rise and shine, y’all!"
A collective groan was thrown back at him and I laughed to myself, glad that I wasn’t the only one in that state of mind.
"Don’t bitch at me," he shouted back at us. "Each and every one of you said that you wanted to go to Kerry’s inauguration, so you better get up before I get you up!"
"I’m a Republican today!" Adam shot back.
That was all the motivation I needed. I actually do want to go to this, seeing how it’s one day going to be a part of history. Besides, how many people are lucky enough to be living in Washington, DC during one of the Presidential inaugurations? Say the average person lives 80 years – you only get like 20 chances to do this. After rationalizing this for another five minutes, I slowly and reluctantly rolled the comforter from over my head to face the wrath of the early morning.
I bumbled into the hallway, almost walking into a stark naked roommate – none other than (insert drooling here) Alicia – trying to tiptoe back into her room. Okay, why wasn’t I informed that she slept naked? This just might bring a whole new meaning to the sleeping arrangements we have going on. ‘Cause damn.
‘Cause my body’s too bootylicious for ya, babe
I took a few steps towards The Red Room to talk to Licia, and hopefully, sneak another peak in the darkness. Yeah, I’m dirty. "Alicia?"
"What?" she whispered.
I could hear the sound of her pulling the comforter back over her. Damn it. "Are you going today?" I hissed back.
"To the inauguration?"
"Yeah?"
"I would go, but it’s too damn early, man," she laughed. "And it’s supposed to only get up to 20 degrees today. I ain’t tryin’ to get sick."
Then put on some clothes, girl, and stop tantalizing me with the possibility of nakedness. "Oh, okay. I’ll see you later."
"Have fun and bring me back somethin’."
Dazed, and yeah, horny, I hauled ass to the bathroom to prepare for a day in the Washington, DC crowds. If 59 million people voted for John Kerry, I don’t even want to imagine how many of those people are going to show up for his inaugural parade. With any luck, people will be in the same mindset of my other five roommates and opt not to go. Yep, it’s just me and Ursh today - doesn’t get much more diverse than that. God Bless America, the land that I love.
::::::::::
Once again, the day has culminated with me trampling through the wetness and cold of DC, discussing Alicia. This time, I was with Usher, and a lot more clarity was being brought to the situation.
"Justin, the girl is sprung. And, she’s gonna kill me for telling you, but she’s definitely gonna come after you sooner or later. Especially if we don’t stretch outside the confines of the house soon."
"But she knows I love my girlfriend, right?"
"Please tell me you’re not dumb enough to think that’s gonna work out."
Why does everyone keep saying that? Is there some Real World curse on relationships? "I do think it’ll work out," I replied. "I love that girl."
Usher gave me one of those ‘You-must-be-fucking-kidding-me’ looks and readjusted the purse-type-bag over his shoulder, shaking his head. "So does Missy know about all the time you and Alicia have spent together?"
"Well, no. But that’s because there’s no point. Me and Licia are just friends."
"Justin. Honey. If you take home anything from your time here, please let it be common sense," he laughed, taking my arm and squeezing my hand.
Uh… "I don’t get it."
"That’s because you’re a boy."
"Well, no shit."
"Tell me this: What do you think of Alicia?"
"Well, I ain’t gonna lie. I think she’s hot, man – just fuckin’ awesome. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t be just friends."
"We’ll see if you still wanna be just friends after a few more weeks without Missy and a couple more sightings of Alicia running by naked."
Oh, shit, don’t remind me of that. The ass was just like… "You saw that?"
"I saw that."
I chuckled at the notion and internally agreed to disagree with him. "Maybe so."
We reentered the house to find it seemingly empty, so I headed straight to the Oval Office to call Missy. All this second-guessing and doubts flying around was getting to me. Unfortunately, Alicia was in mid-conversation when I arrived, laid comfortably across the floor on her back. Man, what I wouldn’t give to be on top of her. I mean, no – Missy. I’ll just e-mail her. Yes.
As I sat at the computer, I tried to ignore Licia’s conversation with her boyfriend, but it was too funny not to listen to. She always sounds so bored when she talks to him. And no, I’m not some kind of weird eavesdropper. I’m not the idiot that didn’t separate the phone and computer rooms, anyway.
A long ass day was sure to send me into bed early, but not before confessional time. The way I see it, if I do two minutes a day, I’ll be complete with my fifteen minutes every week. Smart, right?
I took the escalator upstairs, dropped my hat and coat on my bed and then headed to the third floor, and to the coveted West Wing. I went into the confessional, flipped the switches on, and realized that I had no idea what I wanted to say.
"Uh. So. Yeah." I sat there, simply staring at the camera for a good four or five minutes, unwillingly, but subconsciously thinking of Alicia. Eventually, inspiration hit, and I began to ramble. "Well, me and Usher went to the Kerry inauguration today. It was cold and crowded. Oh, yeah I saw Licia naked this morning, so that was fun. I think her body just might qualify as the eighth wonder of the world. I think the longer I live with her, the more I’m going to realize that I can’t live with her. The thing about it is, I don’t know if I’d have this unrelenting affection for her if I didn’t know she ‘liked me,’" I said, utilizing those famed quote fingers. "I talked to Usher and um, he says she isn’t gonna stop ‘til we hook up. And while I think she’s insanely hot, I don’t think it’s fair that everyone has taken it upon themselves to assess my relationship with Missy as being over, just because Licia has a crush. Missy and me are in love. And yeah, we’re gonna prove everyone wrong. End of story."
They don’t know about you and me
Get it off your mind, ‘cause it’s jealousy
They don’t know about this here
On the next Real World :: The cast enters the real world work force. : Lindsay and Adam? Maybe? ::
Author's Chapter Notes:
From Justin's point of view.
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