I'm leaving today
Livin’ it, leavin’ it to change
Usher and Adam, bones damn near frozen in the cold, ran back and forth from the portico of their house to their black Expedition, toting their roommates luggage for their upcoming trip out of Washington, DC.
Britney has invited us to her parents’ high-rise in New York City for the weekend. Her mother is speaking at a series of luncheons at The Ritz, so we plan to live it up for a couple of days.
While Adam bounced around in front of the car, Usher went back into the foyer of the house to call the remaining roommates out of their rooms. "You guys, it’s time to go! We have to move before the rush hour traffic begins!"
Seconds later, a bubbly Lindsay came leaping down the stairs with a backpack and a smile, followed by an expressionless Christina, whom already had her iPod earbuds inserted in her ears. Britney, notoriously early for everything, was the last to bumble down the steps, seemingly discombobulated.
"Are you all right?" Usher asked her.
"Yeah. I’m great," she answered, running her palms over her dark blonde locks. "I just feel like I’m missing something."
"Well, we are missing about two roommates. Where’s Justin and Alicia?"
"Last night, we drew straws and it ended up that they had to stay for the HP Conference."
The plan was for everyone to come with me to New York for my mom’s thing, but as it turns out, Josh gives us a call the night before and says that he needs at least two of us to stay in town for a Hewlett-Packard convention that’s going to be at the MCI Center. Ironically enough, Justin and Alicia end up being the two that have to stay at home.
"And they’re okay with that?" he inquired, incredulously.
Britney grabbed her coat, chuckling at the notion. "Well, you know Justin – he’s game for anything. Alicia said it was cool, as long as she didn’t have to talk to Justin."
"Wow."
"Yeah, so you know that’s gonna be a disaster and a half," she agreed, walking out of the immense, white front door.
"Honey, you speak the truth," Usher laughed. "Licia! Justin! We’re gone!"
::::::::::
Friday night, hours after 5/7ths of the house had gone to New York for a doubtlessly fun weekend, Alicia and Justin remained inside, with no car, and not wanting to deal with the rain or each other.
"Alicia! Telephone!" Justin yelled from the Oval Office, hoping that she’d heard him so that he wouldn’t have to hike upstairs to repeat himself.
Alicia, laid across the midnight blue carpet of the second floor landing, reading one of her many books, exaggeratedly rolled her eyes at the sound of his voice. She slowly met Justin downstairs, passing him on her way to the phone. "Yo," she said into the receiver.
An unfamiliar man’s voice came booming through the other end. "What up, girl?"
"Who is this?"
"I’m your boy from U-Turn the other night. You said I could give you a call if I wanted to chill."
A couple of nights ago, me and Usher go to this club around the way called U-Turn. I meet this guy, Marcus - he was cool, blah blah blah. Out of the blue, Friday night, he calls and he’s like "Yo, you wanna chill?" I figure since I ain’t got nothin’ else to do, he can come through, we can hang out. Why the hell not?
Alicia smiled rather maliciously as she hung up the phone, knowing that two was company, and that third wheel Justin would make it a crowd. "Yo, Justin!"
He came thundering down the steps, almost elated that she’d called his name. It was the first time she’d voluntarily spoken to him in days. "Yeah?"
She gazed at him awkwardly as he stood before her, panting, with a wild look in his eyes. "You okay?"
"Yeah. Are you? What’d you need?"
"I just wanted to tell you that I was having company, so if you could stay out of my way, I’d appreciate it."
Justin’s expression fell considerably, but he nodded in spite of it, to save face. "Yeah, that’s cool." He watched her stroll coolly out of the room and took a seat back at the phone, dialing his girlfriend’s phone number as quickly as his fingers would dial.
"Hello?" Missy’s soft voice, laced with Southern sweetness comforted Justin more than his own mother’s would.
"Hey, you."
"Hey, baby!"
The excitement in her voice made him smile. "I miss you again."
"Oh, you are too much. I just talked to you this morning."
"I know…"
"I miss you too."
"What are you doing?"
"Well, I just got my hair done today, and now, I’m getting ready to go downtown with the girls. What are you guys up to?"
"Everyone’s outta town," he answered lowly, "so me and Alicia were left here ‘cause we have to work tomorrow."
"So did you volunteer for that, or what?"
"No, I kinda got stuck here. Why?"
"Well, because I just think it’s funny that you magically got stuck there with Alicia."
‘Cause I’d be crazy to let my man go
And let some other Jane Doe go and try to steal him
Justin sighed lightly, as they’d been through this conversation more than once. "Babe, don’t start this again."
"I’m not starting anything, baby. I just find it weird."
"Well, if it’s any consolation, she’s not exactly speaking to me, so you have nothing to worry about."
"Why is that, J?"
He shrugged to himself and leaned back in the reclining chair that sat adjacent to the telephone. "Let’s talk about something else, okay?"
"Okay, so what do you have to work on tomorrow?"
"I dunno. Some convention thing."
"Fun."
"Be right back." Hearing the doorbell ring, Justin quickly hopped out of his seat, barely even telling his girlfriend to hold on. He quickly made it to the front of the house, just in time to see Alicia greet her new friend with a lively kiss before he even made it through the door. Once again defeated, Justin slumped back into the Oval Office to resume conversation with Missy. "Sorry about that," he mumbled.
"Is everything all right?"
"Yeah. Alicia is just – the guy that came to the door, the guy that she met on Wednesday – she started making out with him as soon as he walked in the house."
"What?"
"Alicia invited this guy over that she met at a club the other night. And as soon as he walked in, she started making out with the guy."
"Okay, and?"
"And that’s gross!"
"Well, Justin, why do you care?" she drawled. "Is it affecting you?"
"No. But I mean, that’s – how can she do something like that with me standing right there?"
"Again, why does it matter?"
"Because," he paused. "It’s not that it matters. It’s just not right."
"Because… you’re jealous?"
"What?" he exclaimed. "No, of course not."
"J, if there’s something going on with the two of you, I suggest you tell me right now."
I love my man, he loves me more
He may not be the perfect man
But I don’t plan to let him go for Jane Doe
"Missy, baby, there’s nothing going on. I love you."
Well, maybe I’m a little jealous. But who wouldn’t be? Me and Licia go from being completely cool to becoming distant strangers, and I walk through my house to see her making out with other people. It’s kinda fucked up.
::::::::::
"Alicia!" Yet again, Justin was calling upstairs to his roommate from the front of the house. It was Saturday morning and the two of them were scheduled to be at the MCI Center by 10AM. "If you don’t hurry up, we’re gonna be late!" he announced.
"Yo, how ‘bout you shut the fuck up and wait for me outside!" she shot back.
"I give up," he muttered. He didn’t know what to say to her.
I guess it’s safe to say that me and Alicia’s friendship, or whatever you would have called it, has completely crumbled. I can’t talk to her without her snapping back at me, she always ignores me – I don’t know what to do.
What it is ain’t what it was, or should it be
When it comes to you and
How it seem ain’t how it is
There’s been a change when it comes to me and, oh baby, you
Oh, maybe we can try another day, another way
Mere seconds later, Alicia came sauntering down the cascading staircase, dressed and ready for work. She didn’t bother with a ‘Good morning’ or even a glance in Justin’s direction, but simply grabbed her black down coat and walked out of the door.
The rigid silence of the walk to work was icier than the freezing weather outside, and Justin was going crazy because of it. "Alicia, you can’t ignore me all weekend." Her promenade to the nearest bus stop was becoming more of a brisk walk when Justin spoke to her. "Licia, please talk to me."
"We have to get to work," she answered, "so stop whining."
"Just explain to me why you’re not talking to me."
If I could meet you again
It would be so simple
"That would defeat the whole purpose, Justin."
The reason I choose not to speak to Justin isn’t because I’m jealous of his girlfriend or any bullshit like that. I’m mad at him because he’s shady as hell. I’ve dealt with a lot of people like that, but he comes off as a genuine, down-to-earth kinda guy, and now, I’m realizing that he’s totally the opposite of what I expected.
"But I don’t get it."
"That’s the problem. You don’t ‘get’ anything."
"So, why can’t you explain it to me?"
She sighed, watching a tiny cloud form from her warm breath mixing with the cold air. "How about you just let it go?"
Now it’s hardly simple, it’s just simply hard
I find myself not being myself just to avoid confrontation
Oh, it’s off track – that is a fact
Can we get it back?
"I can’t let it go. You’re my friend, and how you feel affects me."
Right now, me and Justin are not friends.
"We’re not friends."
They both hopped on the approaching bus, where every seat was filled and standing room was limited. – There was barely even enough room for their cameraman. At that point, conversation ceased… for the rest of the day.
If I could meet you again
It would be so simple
::::::::::
After hours of ignoring one another at work all day, Justin and Alicia arrived back at their white house, fatigued and agitated. She immediately escaped to her haven and hell, her room, where she was glad that no one would be there to bother her. As much as she loved Usher, his soprano voice, grating through her brain was not what she needed at the moment. She grabbed her iPod from her one-strap knapsack and turned it up as far as it would go. She wanted to be sure to drown out any sounds of Justin puttering around, as well as any thoughts that might surface after being with him all day.
Meanwhile, Justin had found his way back to his favorite position – the chair next to the telephone, and engaged in conversation with his darling Missy. "So what are you doing tonight?" he smiled into the phone.
"I dunno, probably nothing. Memphis seems so boring without you here."
"Yeah, I know what you mean. I thought DC would give me something new and interesting to be excited about, but I think the only way I’d be able to enjoy it here is if you were with me."
"So you’re not going out either?"
"Probably not. It’s not like I have anyone to go with."
Missy laughed, slightly content that Alicia still wasn’t speaking to her boyfriend. "Well, you can always just sit there and talk to me."
"That’s all I’d want to do anyway."
"You’re so sweet."
"It’s because I love you."
"I think I love you, too," she replied.
"Oh, you think you do. Hmm. I guess I can live with that."
"You have no choice but to live with it."
Justin got up from the phone chair to spread out across the floor and settle into conversation with the love of his life, allowing the soothing familiarity of her voice erase any frustration that the day had brought him. He’d finally found total gratification in their chat when he was met with Alicia’s scent of True Star perfume and her shadow hovering over his space on the carpet.
"Yo, I need to use the phone," she said in a hushed tone.
"Miss, hold on for a sec." He immediately shoved the phone underneath the wrath of his palm and looked up at her. "I’m using it."
"Yeah, I see that, but you’ve been on it for like an hour and I kinda need it, too."
"I’m in the middle of a conversation, though."
"Well, how long are you gonna be?"
"I don’t know. There’s not really a time limit on these kinds of things."
"Well, how about you let me use it and then you can call the bitch back."
"Alicia, don’t talk about her like that."
"Sorry."
"I’ll be off in like half an hour."
"What! You can call her back! I need to use it for like five minutes."
"Please don’t yell. I’ll give it to you in fifteen minutes."
"Fine," she replied, taking a seat at the computer. The last thing she wanted to do was sit in there and witness the cheese-fest that is ‘Justin & Missy,’ but she knew that if she left, she’d come back sixteen minutes later and he’d give her some lame excuse not to get off the phone, like, ‘You weren’t here.’
Justin drives me fuckin’ crazy talking to his damn girlfriend all the time. I mean, how much could he possibly have to say after all that damn time? And then, he’s, like, refusing to give me the phone. Because of him, I haven’t talked to my boyfriend in days. I’m starting to think that he’s trying to be on my bad side.
A quarter of an hour later, Justin was still enchanted in lively conversation, with seemingly no intention of giving up the phone. "Justin," Alicia reminded him, "it’s been fifteen minutes, exactly."
"Could you wait for just a few more minutes please?"
"You’re not even sayin’ anything to her!"
"Stop yelling," he quieted her. "She has me on hold."
"So hang up. You can call her back, man."
"I’m not gonna hang up on her. Just give me a few minutes until she comes back and I’ll get off."
She dramatically rolled her eyes, scanning the ceiling, and then stormed out of the room and into the kitchen.
He says that he’ll give up the phone when Missy comes back. I don’t know why I believe him, but I do. So I go into the kitchen to fix a sandwich while I wait.
A mere five minutes later, Alicia returned to the Oval Office, only to find that Justin was once again, enthralled with some conversation, unbeknownst to Alicia as to what was so intriguing about that girl.
As if we’re not already doing bad enough, he is really pissing me off right now.
"Justin, get off the goddamn phone!"
After putting Missy on hold again, he stared up at Alicia, who was glaring at him from the telephone chair. "Well you weren’t here when she came back, so I thought maybe you didn’t wanna use it anymore."
"Yeah, well you know now, so give it up."
"But we’ve started talking about something completely different. I can’t leave now."
"Get off the phone."
He sighed back into the receiver and despondently told his girlfriend, "I have to go, baby."
"Why?"
"My roommate needs to use the phone."
"She can’t wait?"
"Apparently not. She’s been waiting twenty minutes, though, so I guess I should let her have it."
"If she needed the phone so badly, why didn’t she use it before you got on it?"
"I dunno. I don’t even think she wants to use it," he whispered. "I think she just wants me off of it."
"That’s exactly why you can’t give her the phone, J."
"I have to. I don’t want her anymore mad at me than she already is."
"Why do you care if she’s mad at you?"
"Because she’s my roommate. And I have to work with her. I can’t really work right if I’m worried that she’s gonna cuss me out," he laughed.
"Just ignore her. She’ll be fine without you, I’m sure."
"Maybe so, but I’m just gonna let her use the phone real quick and then I’ll call you back."
"I ha—." Click.
"Hello?" Justin looked at the silent phone and did a quick scan around the room. "Hello?"
"I think she’s gone," Alicia announced, holding the phone’s cord in her hand. "Oops."
Me and Alicia have had our differences for the past few days – that’s fine. But she comes into the room all attitude-y and stuff and, while I’m in the middle of talking to Missy, she unplugs the phone. I put up with a lot of her shit, but she’s really crossed the line.
"Alicia, how dare you hang up on my girlfriend!"
Did you sleep on the wrong side
I’m catching a bad vibe
And it’s contagious, what’s the latest?
"I told you to get off the phone!"
"I was getting off the phone!"
"You were taking too long! It doesn’t take five minutes to say ‘I’ll call you right back!’"
"I’m not gonna hang up on my girlfriend in the middle of a sentence to satisfy you. Just because you’re a cold bitch to everyone you associate with doesn’t mean I have to be the same."
Speak your heart, don’t bite your tongue
Don’t get it twisted, don’t misuse it
"What?"
"You heard me. Everyone can’t be a bitch like you. Sorry."
He called me a bitch.
"Did you just call me a bitch?"
It’s official – you got issues, I got issues
"It certainly seems like the shoe fits."
"So you just called me a bitch."
"I just called you a bitch," he reassured her.
Am I supposed to change, are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt, who should be blamed?
Who should be hurt, who should be ashamed?
Who should be hurt, will we remain?
We need a resolution
She wordlessly spun on her heel and slowly walked up the two flights of stationary steps, to the third floor and into the confessional. She was shocked, and rather speechless that Justin, of all people, would take it that far. Turning on the light switch and taking the seat in front of the camera, she gravely looked down, and then into the lens of the camera with tears forming in her eyes.
"He called me a bitch," she said to the contraption. "I don’t know why, but I just can’t believe that he would come out of his face and call me that. – The person that I felt closest to in this house, and that I wanted to know most, has just totally disrespected me." Her tears finally fell, her eyes reddened, and she brought her knees up to her chest in the small chair, wishing that she could erase the indignant feelings that accompanied that moment. "I know that – I mean, it’s trivial to care about just a word, but it was the anger behind it that really hit me. I’ve never been insulted like that. And it threw me off because, at one point, I was really feelin’ him. And it’s like… I dunno. It hurts, man." She lowered her head again, shaking it in defeat. "It hurts."
Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby?
Right now I feel invisible to you, like I’m not real
Am I just some chick you placed beside you to take somebody’s place?
When you turn around, can you recognize my face?
You used to love me, you used to hug me
But that wasn’t the case
Everything wasn’t okay
Justin knew he’d hurt her. He didn’t mean to – he simply got caught in a heated moment and he wanted to get a rise out of her. He didn’t realize, until she didn’t respond, the intensity of his words or the impact they would have on his roommate. Immensely regretful, he hiked up the escalator to Alicia’s room, baffled to find her not there.
"Licia, are you still here?" he yelled into the house.
He didn’t get an answer until a few minutes later when she quietly came tottering down the narrow staircase from the third floor. She didn’t speak to him when she passed him in the hallway on the way to her room, nor did she speak to him when she came back out of it with a sweater and her Timberlands on, making her way back to the first floor.
Justin watched from the second floor landing while she gathered her coat and purse, and moved towards the door. "Alicia, where are you going?" No answer. – She only continued meandering around the foyer. "Alicia, I am so sorry."
She opened the front door, and turned back to his pleading form on the balcony. She was tempted to cry again, but she didn’t. "Don’t even worry about it."
I was left to cry there, waiting outside there, burning with the lost stare
That’s when I decided why should I care?
You weren’t there when I was scared, I was so alone
You need to listen
I’m starting to trip, I’m losing my grip and I’m in this thing alone
I watch Alicia walk out of the house, and it kind of scares me, because I have no idea of how bad she feels and I also don’t know what she’s capable of. So I decide to follow her.
::::::::::
Alicia ended up obliviously finding her way to one of the local bars, Chadwick’s, where she hoped to drown her dissatisfaction and sorrow in a few drinks. Little did she know, her least favorite roommate had been just a few feet behind her, waiting for the moment that she was too drunk to yell and run, but not too drunk to talk to him.
"Mind if I join you?"
Alicia rolled her eyes for the second time that night at the sound of his voice, watching as he took the bar stool seat next to her. "What the hell do you want?"
"I want to apologize."
"Let me guess – you’re sorry that I had to come out in the cold to get away from you," she sarcastically replied. She took a long drink of her beer and stared at him awkwardly. "That’s okay, Justin. I don’t need your sorry-ass sorries anymore."
"No, I’m sorry because I hurt you. I said things that I didn’t mean and I wish I could take it back--."
"But you can’t, so why don’t you skedaddle on home and leave me alone."
"Licia, please. We’ve had a bad few days, but I don’t want to see our relationship go completely down the drain like this."
"We have no relationship."
"Our friendship – whatever it is, I just don’t think it’s meant to be this way. We started off so well, and I don’t know what happened, but this isn’t how it’s supposed to go."
"Why do you care now?"
"Why don’t you care now?"
Alicia and I are in this bar, having possibly the most honest conversation since we’ve known each other. And, even though she’s getting completely blitzed, it’s so refreshing to be able to talk to her without the tension surrounding us. At this point, I’m feeling a lot better about us.
After a few minutes of pure openness, the two of them realized that they were on the road to recovery, lightening the mood considerably. Justin ordered a couple of drinks to catch up to Alicia, and they resumed their bungling discussion.
"You know what started this all?" Alicia said loudly. "The minute that you literally dropped me for your girlfriend."
"What?"
"Our birthday party. I was sitting on top of you when they did the birthday song, and all of a sudden, the girlfriend pops up, and Alicia gets put down."
"Well, it was my girlfriend."
"Yeah, that was the problem. After that, it just went downhill."
"I’m sure it didn’t help when I almost got you fired."
"Ah, so you admit it!"
"I wasn’t trying to," he laughed. "I dunno – I was just focused on not getting in trouble. I’m sorry for that, too."
She dismissively rolled her brown eyes and took another drink. "You’ve hurt me a hell of a lot for you to not even be my man, you know."
"It wasn’t intentional, though."
Oh, but in often times those words get tangled up in lies
And the bright light turns to night
Oh, until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me
"Yeah, nothing you do is ever intentional. I swear, you could get away with anything with that damn face, baby boy."
"I don’t need to get away with anything," he smiled. "I’m a good guy."
"Hey, you never know. Ain’t no tellin’ what’ll happen to you once you get out into the real world."
"I think I’ll be all right."
"That’s what I like about you," she smirked. "You really do have good intentions."
"I try."
‘Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
Others only read of the love
The love that I loved
::::::::::
As twilight hours approached, Justin and Alicia bumbled their way down the cold Georgetown streets and back to their famed White House in high spirits. After all was said and done, in their drunken stupors, they decided that they were going to try again. A series of misunderstandings shouldn’t ruin a potential friendship. – They both knew that before they even uttered a word to one another. Talking about it only cemented that concept.
The two of them stumbled into the house and, laughing at her drunkenness, Justin hoisted Alicia over his shoulder to carry her up the steps and put her to bed.
"Justin," she whispered, "you have the cutest booty I’ve ever seen."
"So do you," he laughed, patting hers, while they rode the escalator to the second floor. He stepped off of the moving staircase, almost tripping into the carpet, but eventually finding his way to the Red Room and resting his roommate on her messy red bed. "It’s good to be home, ain’t it?"
She nodded with her eyes hung low, but smiling. "Take off my shoes."
"Okay, but you have to take off mine." He sat down on the floor and lifted his shell-toe Adidas to her bed while untying her dark yellow Timberland boots that sat on the red carpet. "You got some big ol’ feet," he added.
"I do not! I only wear a six."
"Yeah, times two."
"Shut up. And take off my coat," she slurred, raising her arms.
"Take off your own coat. I’m goin’ to bed." He stood from the floor and then plopped into Alicia’s cozy mattress along with her, staring at the ceiling as if it contained some brand of magnificence.
After minutes of silence, Alicia suddenly burst into laughter. "What the hell are we doing?"
"We’re laying here. Why’d you have to fuck up a good moment?"
"’Cause I want you to take off my coat."
She likes me
She says she needs me
She wants to see me
‘Cause I’m the shit
She laughed again as Justin rolled over the bed, on top of her, and pulled off her coat, along with his. "What are you laughing at?"
"We are fuckin’ fucked up!" she cackled.
"Maybe you are, but I’m completely fine."
"You are fine. But not in the unfucked up way."
Justin chuckled in a way that signified that he didn’t really know what he was laughing at. In his inebriated 4AM state of mind, he was really only thinking about one thing. And when he found Alicia straddling him, and her lips attacking his, he smiled in spite of himself, glad that she was thinking the same thing. And then, that coveted comforter went over their heads, concealing their soon-to-be nakedness. And it was on.
Now it seems that things are really getting better in my life
Is it just today, or things are really getting better
We’ll see tonight
On the next Real World :: The morning after – everyone is back, but no one suspects a thing. Or do they? :: Justin and Alicia examine whether their feelings are real. And if so, where does that leave – dun, dun, dun – Missy?
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