June, 2002

The vibrating in the loose pocket of his cargo shorts startled him, and he pulled out his phone and rolled his eyes at the number displayed there.  He sat down his basket of razor blades and shampoo and soap and sighed, debating on whether or not to answer.

But he knew better than to avoid her calls.  She’d call back until it was answered.

“Yeah?”

“Dayum! Jamie James is grumpy grumps!” she said with a laugh; her tone was animated and happy.  He could tell how happy she was.  He knew why and it made him frown.  “Are you still doing errands?”

“Yeah, why?” 

“I need sunscreen.  But if you’ve already gone to CVS, I’ll just go get it myself.”

He sighed. It wasn’t fair, though.  He tried not to be like this with her, cold and worrisome.  But it was so hard not to be fatherly or brotherly with Katie.  He cared about her too much.  She was his friend first, he kept reminding himself.  And this—this whole thing that would happen tomorrow morning—was just a trip, just a vacation, nothing more.  He hoped.

“No, I’m in the store now. Anything else, your ladyship?”

“Snappy! What is your problem? You should be excited! Beach, party, alcohol, girls, fun, etcetera!”  She accented every word.

“Yeah, yeah.”  He tried to lighten the mood so that he wouldn’t get an earful from her later and laughed into the phone.

“You want anything from McDonald’s? I’m about to go through the drive-thru and get a McFlurry.” He smiled when he heard her pause and laugh.  “And ok, maybe some fries, too.”

“No thanks, fatty.” 

“Ass.”

“I’ll call you later, ok?”

“Cheer up, grump butt!” she shouted.  He shook his head and ended the call before slipping his phone back into his pocket.

It was rather clear over the past year or two that she had gotten over Justin.  She moved on with Charlie.  James liked Charlie.  The guy treated her well and made her happy.  But more than that, with Charlie around Katie was carefree.  She didn’t have that sad, longing look in her eyes.

That was until about a month ago.  That look came soaring back.  She was stressed with exams, ornery and snappy, but still, she was happy.  Then the internship she had applied for sent her a letter of regret.  She hadn’t been accepted.  She wouldn’t be going to Nashville for the summer like she had planned, but instead she was stuck in Millington, living alone in her apartment, with nothing to do.  It had been a hard blow, but she seemed to be ok, started making summer plans, even thought about going with her parents to the mountains in July.

Then Charlie got asked by one of his international business professors to go to Spain for the summer with a small group of selected students. 

Katie had paced and rambled to James about it, asked if she should be worried.  She talked herself into thinking it was ok, that she’d get a job, make money, they’d hang out—her and James—and she and Charlie would be back together the first of August.  She’d email and he’d send her postcards.

Then Katie found out that one of the other students in that small group of five going to Spain, was Charlie’s ex-girlfriend.  James didn’t know all the little details, Katie had been upset and frantic when she came over and explained it to him.  From what he could piece together through her crying and anger, this was the girl Charlie had been in love with before he met Katie.  This was the girl who had broken his heart.  This was the girl he never thought he’d get over.

James had to convince Katie to suck it up and talk to Charlie about it.  They decided to break up for the summer and if in August he came back and she was there and they both still wanted to be with each other, they’d try again.

It was a heavy blow, and Katie was sad and distracted for several weeks after her spring semester was over.  James tried to cheer her up, but little worked.  He was home for the summer, decided he was finally going to settle down and buy that house a few miles outside of town that had caught his eye.  He was twenty-one now and had been regularly visiting Jake’s down by the creek.  They needed a new bartender for the summer and James said he’d like to fill in when they needed it.

So far he had really enjoyed it.  He had settled easily into his quiet, relaxed, small town life as an adult.  He liked it.

Justin had finished his tour about a month before and had spent every second in Florida since then.  He hadn’t been home.  James didn’t know why he hadn’t come yet and was unsure when he would return.  He was now in Virginia for the summer to work on some tracks and a possible solo record.  So James took it upon himself to visit. He needed to hang out with his brother and try to get some insight on what was happening in his brother’s life.

He didn’t expect Katie to be invited.  In fact, it was James’ own fault that she was.

It was a week ago, Katie came over to drop off a drill she had borrowed to hang up shelves in her closet.  James was on the phone with Justin.  Justin had some funny story to tell, so James put it on speaker so Katie could hear.  Before James knew it, Justin was blabbing about the fun times he was having at the studio and in Virginia.  Katie complained about having a boring, stupid summer and Justin immediately invited her out.

Katie’s excitement level gradually grew and by the time Justin had hung up the phone she was beaming.

James knew it wasn’t because Katie was still in love with him.  She was getting over Charlie, it was all she thought about—Charlie this, Charlie that.  His brother was just her friend, like when they were kids.

But she was single now.

And so was Justin.

James didn’t want them to get mixed up in their ridiculousness again, but he had a feeling it was going to happen.  This time, though, he wasn’t going to stick by and clean up their mess.  He tried to tell himself that if something did happen between them, maybe it would be good.  Maybe they’d commit, maybe they had grown up. 

But still, he was worried.  Katie’s was upset over Charlie being in Europe with his ex, and Justin…

Well, Justin had had his heart ripped out.  Justin put on a smile, Justin partied, Justin slept around, but he was broken. And his brother could see it.  James had always been quieter than Justin about things.  Justin wore his heart on his sleeve, whereas James held things in, giving him a bad attitude at times, but giving him more common sense than Justin, giving him reflection.  James was reserved.  Justin lived for the moment, said and did what he felt in every moment—no matter the consequences.

This time, though, Justin had closed in on himself.  He wouldn’t talk about what Britney had done, he wouldn’t cry about it.  A shrug and a half laugh was his response to every damn thing.  Their mother, who had been in Florida with Justin until only a few weeks ago, called saying,  “James, I’m worried about your brother. He won’t even talk to me.”

It was then when James started to really worry.  Justin had always been more of a momma’s boy.  Justin had always been more open to their mother than to anyone else.  And now she was cut off, too.

It’s what made James decide to go see his brother in person, to find out if he was really getting over Britney or just getting worse.  He was determined to get to the bottom of his brother’s strange careless happiness.

James hadn’t been on tour when it happened.  He had come back home for a couple days, but flew out soon after he heard.  Justin had acted normal.  He had acted like nothing fucking happened. 

James blinked at the aisle he was on and tried to focus on a sunscreen that Katie might like.  He remembered that when she was a kid she used to love wearing this colored sun block.  She’d lather bright blue and pink sun block all over her face and walk around like she was the coolest girl.  One time her and Justin got in a fight at the pool with it and ended up squirting bright green sun block all over the pavement and into the chlorine water.  They both got in trouble, and James just laughed at them as they got kicked out and had to walk home.  Afterward, James soon got his towel and his snack money and left.

He sighed, picked up a tube of Banana Boat and walked a little further down the aisle to grab a stick of Bull Frog face sunscreen.  She loved her Bull Frog.  He shook his head.  He thought too much about her.  He thought too much about Justin and her.  It was like as soon as she was with Charlie he stopped worrying.  He enjoyed himself on tour, got fed up with tour, came home, dated and fucked around.  It was always a bust though.  No girl suited his interest and usually, if they did, they were only after one thing.  His twin. 

He was determined to make himself a living here in Millington.  If he was a bachelor the rest of his life, then so be it.  He liked being by himself as long as he had something to do.  And buying that fixer-upper down the road would give him something to do.  He wasn’t lonely, or sad, just getting fed up with females and with the whole damned dating game.  He didn’t date.  He found a girl he liked, seduced her, hung out with her for a while, and then it usually ended before he could even get super annoyed with her.

There had been Brenna a couple months ago.  She was cool, she was sweet.  He liked her a lot, but then he noticed how often she would ask when Justin would be around and how badly she always wanted to go with him on tour or to Orlando.  James brought her to Florida with him and they stayed at his brother’s.  The second night Justin came to him and said, “Don’t ask me why, but when you go home this weekend, break up with her.  She’s shady.”  James had opened his mouth to respond, but Brenna was coming out of the pool.  Justin only widened his eyes and stepped away to somewhere else in his house.  But James had watched as her eyes followed him as he disappeared.

James broke up with her on the drive back from the Memphis airport that weekend.

Before then, it had been a throng of hook-ups.  After Brenna he had stepped away and took a break from even trying to be with a woman in anyway.  It was lonely and he was hoping that his brother had someone for him in Virginia who was willing to have a one-week fling on the beach.

He smirked to himself.  He worried about his brother and Katie hooking up again and again, yet here he was slutting it up over and over.

He stepped away from the pillars of sun block and started to read the back of the Banana Boat he had picked up for Katie. Before he could focus his eyes, though, he clumsily bumped into something.  When he looked up there was a girl on the floor, with blonde hair, cut in a modern, chunky style, short and framing her face that was hidden behind her long bangs.

He immediately bent down to help her pick up the box she had dropped and to pick up the sun block their run in had caused to fall out of his hands.

“Oh my god, sorry!” the girl said, laughing, as she handed him his Banana Boat and he handed her back the box of Tampax she had dropped.  He looked up from the box and finally at her.

Immediately, his breath caught in his throat.  She was fucking gorgeous, her eyes were bright, sparkling ice blue.  Her smile was wide, slightly shy but mischievous.  She took the box from him saying with humor,  “Wow, that’s not embarrassing at all.”

He stood up and reached a hand out to help her.

“Thanks,” she huffed.

He kept staring at her, and when he blurted out, “Who are you?” he felt like a fool.

“Um…”

Her eyes shifted around him and then darted back to his face. 

“Sorry, that was rude.”  He tried to flash her the most charming smile he could, but still, he felt foolish.  It was a big deal to have a new girl in town, especially one this pretty.  He felt sweaty and the fact that he hadn’t been with a woman since Brenna really, really started to make his thoughts swim in thick, hot liquid.

He managed to suck in a breath and smile. “Millington is just not a very big place and I know everyone here,” he said, slathering on the charm.  “And I don’t know you.”

“My parents just moved here last year.  I’m staying with them for the summer.”

“Oh, that’s cool. So…” He smiled again, feeling a little more comfortable with himself when this girl shifted her weight on her legs and relaxed a little.  “Who are you?”

She laughed at him and he found himself smiling back at her. “Are you seriously trying to pick up a girl in a CVS who’s got tampons in one hand and 2 dollar nail polish in the other?”  She held up both items.

He continued to smile. “I’m James.”

“Jenn.”  She nodded at him, closing her eyes in a slow blink when she did it.  Her lashes were long, but she looked so natural, so fresh. Pink cheeks, soft lips, but no trace of make up.  Her style was cool, different, different from girls in town, different from girls on tour.  Her jeans were skinny and tight, and she wore a plain, faded gray t-shirt with a white slogan covering her breasts nicely, reading “¡Felicidad!”  She was no frills, but still girly—her choppy hairstyle proved that.

He had learned over the past few years to guess women’s personalities based on the clothing they wore.  This girl, her look, her smile, and her clothes, well, all he could figure out about her was that she was different, she was new.

And he wanted to know more.

“Nice to meet you, Jenn.”

“Hey.”  She smiled again, and this time he thought he saw her cheeks pink a little as she looked down at the floor between them and then back up at him. 

Score, he thought.  She was into him, too.  He could feel it. 

It was different than most girls.  Most girls he found attractive, he’d charm his way towards them, say a few complimentary lines to them and the next thing he knew he was fucking them.  And then the next thing he knew after that, he was bored.

This girl, this Jenn, was different.

He didn’t want to fuck her.  Not yet at least. Well, of course he wanted to.  She was hot as hell.  It had been more than a month for him, but he wanted to know her first.  He wanted to know all about her. And then, when he did get the chance to be with her, he wanted to savor it and take his time.  He could imagine it now, all so real and there, like a memory more than a hope, laying in bed, smiling at her flushed body, tracing his fingers against the curves of her skin.

And he just met her.

He bit his lip.  This was weird, very, very weird.  He hadn’t been this rapped up in a girl since high school.  Lindsay had always kind of plagued his mind.  He had always wondered if things could have worked out if he had been willing to deal with the long distance of her being off at college.  And then there was Brenna of course, but even with her, even with the one girl in years he thought could actually be more to him than some sexy lady in his bedroom, even with her, it was never like this.

Never this instantaneous, never this strange.  He felt anxious and his gut felt heavy.  He licked his lips nervously and scratched at the stubble of a beard on his cheek.

“So you’re from here?” she asked.

“Born and raised,” he drawled out.

She sighed, as if a weight of relief fell off her shoulders.  She shifted closer and said in a desperate tone, “Where’s a good place to hang out and get a burger and a beer?  And I don’t want to have to drive into the city.  I’ve been dying this past week.”

He bit his lip to keep from smiling at this girl.

“Bait Shop.”

“What?” She raised a questioning eyebrow.

“It’s the general store.  I can take you there, ya know, since you think I’m trying to pick you up.”

She narrowed her eyes playfully. “I’ve been told not to go with strangers for a long, long time.  Especially ones buying lotion and razor blades.”

“Come on,” he laughed.  “It’s like you’re gettin’ a free guided tour of this wonderful town! It’s just down the road.  Anything you want to know about this town, I’ll tell ya.” Her eyes were narrowed still and he rolled his own with laughter and said,  “You can ask Lissa at the front counter.  We went to high school together.” She looked away from him for a moment and he knew he couldn’t let this girl get away so easy.  There was a big chance he’d run in to her again this summer—Millington was small.  But he was leaving tomorrow for a week, and by the time he came back she might not be so interested in him. “Hell,” he pulled out his cell phone and rolled his eyes.  “You can call my grandma, but she will force you to visit and to eat tremendous amounts of food.”

“Ok, ok!”  She laughed and waved her hand at him as she walked to the front counter.

As Jen was buying her items, James stood behind her and smiled at the clerk. “Lis, this is Jenn.  She’s new.”

Lissa glanced at him for a second, popped her gum and then stared back at Jenn. “Don’t let his charm and accent fool you.  He’s a big dork.”

“I’ve figured that out already,” Jenn laughed.

“Ladies, no ganging up.” He chuckled deeply and they bought their things.

When they were outside in the blinding sun, James turned to her as he fished for his keys in his pocket. She was already opening the car door to a small, bright red Civic.  He felt bad.  She was leaving him.  He had to figure something out before she left him.

“You can follow me to the Bait Shop, if you still want that burger and beer,” he called out.

“No, that’s ok.”  His stomach felt like it was in his throat as he watched her throw her plastic bag into the backseat of her car.  But then she shut the car door and walked over to him.  “You don’t have ‘creep’ vibes, so I’ll take my chance and let you drive.”

She shrugged her shoulders and stuck her hands in the pockets of her jeans.  His stomach re-settled and he slowly smiled, walked to his Jeep and opened the passenger door for her.  The drive was silent, but not awkward.  He felt giddy and excited still, and it was strange.

Half way to the Bait Shop and two roads from his house he remembered that the dogs were in the house, and he hadn’t been home for a couple hours that morning. He scratched his head, cleared his throat and said nervously, knowing this was going to make him sound like some psycho murderer to this new girl, “Uh, do you mind if we drop by my place on the way back?  I gotta let the dogs out.  My mom went shopping and I don’t think she’s back yet.”

Surprisingly, it wasn’t the idea of going home with him alone that startled her.  He glanced at her and her nose was crinkled. “You live with your mom?”

He laughed and nodded. “I’m working on buying my own place, but my mom is barely at home, and I just got back from working, or traveling or whatever, just a few months ago.”

“So you’re spending the summer with your parents like me,” her voice was sing-songy and sweet. “I just got back from Paraguay.”

“Paraguay?” He asked in shock.

She simply answered, “Peace Corp.”

“That’s cool.”  He had traveled all over the US and even been over seas a couple times with Justin, but he had never known someone to go to Paraguay.  This girl just kept on intriguing him.

“Yeah, it was fucking amazing,” she said with a deep sigh as if she longed to go back there. 

He opened his mouth to try to impress her with some of the places he had been but before he got the chance, she was leaning, looking out the front window and saying. “Nice digs.”

“Yeah.” He pointed to his left to the smaller house beside his own.  “That’s grandma’s.  You’re welcome to go ask her if I’m psychotic.”

“Keep your family close, eh?” 

He shrugged and parked the car. “Got to.”

He assumed she would just sit in the car while he let the dogs out, but before he could tell her to “wait here,” she was out of the car.  He shut the engine off and stepped out as well.  She was looking up at his house with her mouth opened just slightly.

It was a big house, but not too extravagant.

Then a thought crossed his mind…

What if she was a fan?

There had been a few times when some fans had driven by the house, and a couple of those times they had the audacity to walk right up to the front door and knock.  One time he answered the door and the girls were running away, looking ridiculous in the process.  Another time they just stood right there, staring at him blankly.  One of them even asked “Justin?” to him in an unbelieving tone. He politely tried to tell them Justin wasn’t at home and that they shouldn’t be on their property.

Was Jenn a fan?  She didn’t seem like a fan?  But this could be some outrageous plot.  It had happened before on tour.  And this wouldn’t be he first time James had been used to get to Justin.  It happened more than he liked to admit.

Even with guys, even with people who didn’t really like Justin, sometimes James felt like second fiddle, like just a pathway to meet someone famous, like a ticket stub, torn and crumbled and inevitably thrown away.

But Jenn couldn’t be one of those girls, could she?  He had to figure it out.  If she was, he’d just drop it.  He was leaving tomorrow, anyway.  It wouldn’t be a big deal.  Justin wasn’t home, it wasn’t like she could kidnap him or squeal or something.

James paused at the opened door and glanced at her quickly.  What if she was a psycho murderer?  She was blinking at him, just staring.

Nah…

“Bear, Belle!” he called out.  The sound of nails against hard wood immediately scrambled towards them.  They jumped up at James’ knees, but when they noticed Jenn they didn’t care about him and were too busy staring at her and sniffing her sneakers.  “These are our dogs,” James said, looking down at them.

She just smiled and let them smell her before leaning down and petting their heads.  James relaxed, the dogs didn’t seem to mind her. 

As they walked through the house to the door that lead to the back patio, they passed by a wall covered in some of Justin’s awards and records.  The dogs were scrambling in between them, James leading them to the back door.  He opened it and they ran out into the backyard barking and causing a fuss.  He looked back and Jenn was standing in the middle of the hallway, looking at the wall of awards, her mouth opened, her eyebrows bunched. 

She looked back over at James and said, “Are you a collector or something?”

“Collector?” He laughed.  What did that mean?  I mean, it was obvious he was Justin’s twin.  They were identical besides one having a beard and the other not.  He walked back over to her, leaving the door open for the dogs. “No those are my brother’s.”

She was staring at a Platinum record of Nsync’s “No Strings Attached” record.  “Who is your brother?”

“Justin Timberlake,” he laughed and pointed to his brother’s picture.  “If you couldn’t have figured that out already.  We’re kind of twins.”

“Who’s Justin Timberlake?” she asked, still staring at the picture with a dumbfounded look. “He looks just like you!”

“Are you serious?” James blinked.

Jenn was looking hard at the picture before glancing at James.  She then shrugged.  “Is he in some band or something?”

“Yeah, in Nsync.”

“Yikes!” she said, finding another picture from their earlier record. “Is that them?” She stifled a laugh.

“In 1998.”  James stood back and watched her look at the records, amazed. She seemed to literally have no idea who Justin was, who Nsync was.  And James just crossed his arms and watched her inspect the pictures.

“God Must Have Spent (A Little More Time on You)?” she laughed looking at the title of a certain record farmed there and then glanced back at James “You can’t be serious? That’s a song title?”

He shook his head and just stared at her. “Do you seriously not know who they are?”

She lifted her hands and let them slap back against her jeans.  “I’ve been in Paraguay for two years.  Before that I studied abroad in Greece. I haven’t really known anything about what’s popular for several years.  Plus, I’ve never really been into mainstream music.”

His heart was beating fast.  She didn’t know who he was.

She didn’t care.

Suddenly James seemed to like this hot girl even more.  She was just…different, so very different from anything he’d known.  And now, knowing that she knew nothing about Justin or Nsync, he felt relaxed, happy—he was fucking smiling.

He felt himself.

“What do you listen to then?”

“Alternative stuff, like early nineties stuff, but also got this little special place in my heart for country but not any of this new pop country shit.  I like Hank Williams and Patsy Cline and some other of the really old ones.  Oh, and the only newer country singer I like is Dwight Yokum who is amazing. My dad got me into him.  I blame it on being a Texan.”

“You like Johnny Cash?”

She laughed. “Who doesn’t like Johnny Cash?”

He smiled at her and she just looked back at him.  Something passed between them, he wasn’t sure what it was, but after a minute of just looking at each other, she was smiling, staring at the floor, blushing and he was just looking at her face, looking all over her face.

“How long you staying again?” he asked, slightly breathless.

She looked up and bit her lip, “Til the end of August.”

“I’m leaving tomorrow to go on vacation with my brother.”  He sighed and glanced at the awards, wondering if at the last minute he could cancel on his heart-broken brother.  Katie could go and have fun with him.  She could talk to him about his problems.  Suddenly James didn’t want to go on vacation.  “Kind of sucks?”

“Why do you say that?” 

“Cause…” He took a breath and looked directly at her.  Still holding his breath he said, “I’d like to take you out.”  He exhaled.  “And when I get back in ten days you’ll have forgotten all about me.”

“You’re taking me out now.”  She smiled and stepped forward a little and patted the side of his right bicep, smiling in this way, this style that he was learning to really, really enjoy.  “Bait Shop, right?”

“Yeah.”  He couldn’t stop staring at her. 

“And I’ll still be here in ten days,” she laughed and rolled her eyes.  “Still in bumb fuck Tennessee.”

A moment passed.

“Jenn?”

“James?”

He was falling in love with the way she said his name.  It was happening so fast and when he looked at her, he could tell, despite her easy going attitude and her careless laughter, she could feel it, too.  It was hitting them both in the gut, deep and hard.

He shook his head to force himself to stop staring at her.  He grabbed her hand and said, “You’re about to eat the best damn burger of your life. Come on,” before pulling her with him to the opened door. 

He called for the dogs and brought them back in the house.  He left the house and locked up, all the while still holding her hand, lacing his fingers with hers, feeling her warmth flow through him, smiling at her as she squeezed his hand.  She only pulled away so she could get in the car.

Something was happening and he knew what it was.  He had felt it before, long, long before, but never this strong, never this intense.  Was it just because she didn’t know who his brother was?  Was it just because she was someone new and different?  Maybe. Maybe so.

It didn’t matter.

Whatever it was, it worked.  It worked for both of them.