Late that night…
The grass was still wet under her feet and it made her feel cold even though the night was sticky, humid and warm. The afternoon thunderstorm did nothing to cool the summer heat. She hung back behind the crowd of her peers and friends, chewed on her lip and prayed this would be over. She had been excited at first, but now she was just scared.
Especially when she found out they weren’t going to be skinny dipping in his mother’s nice, new pool but instead in Craggy Creek, five miles outside of town and one mile down a dirty, scary, pitch-black road. And now they were there with one car and one truck’s lights shining down into the creek. There were about ten of them there, everyone from Justin’s small party had decided it would be a great idea to swim naked.
He had done a masterful job convincing them all. She didn’t know where all the beer had come from, but someone had brought it to Justin’s house and now here. They all were drinking it. She hadn’t really drunk much beer in her life and had never been drunk before. She was a little unsure if she should act like the girls there and be tipsy after one beer and drunk after a second, or if she should just take one and sip it slowly, like James was. She decided to sip it; the flavor was stale anyway, like dirty water.
She hung on to James that night. He was being really chill, quiet, but not awkward. He was just hanging out with everyone but not being over the top and a show-off like her cousin and Justin and a few of the girls were.
She knew he’d make sure nothing bad happened to her. At least, she hoped.
She wished Rachel had shown up, but she hadn't and now Katie really felt alone.
“So are we taking our clothes off once we get in or-”
Her eyes widened a little when she could see Justin’s smile cut off her cousin, Trace, who was smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer out of a can like he had been doing it since birth. Sometimes she wondered if he had been doing it that long. “No, everyone strips first, and then we all run and jump.”
There were only four guys there, Justin, James, Trace and Nick; everyone else was female, her and five other girls. And they were of course the popular girls, the pretty girls.
They were the girls that were never really mean to her and never ignored her, but never had invited her to their house either. These weren’t the girls she called at night to talk to or meet up with for football games. In fact, she didn’t have a lot of female friends, just one or two, normally she was with James, or Trace, or even stupid ass Nick, and before she had always been with Ryan.
She had always been more comfortable around men. That wasn’t to say she was a tomboy. In fact, she could be quite girly at times.
But for some reason she felt out of place with these girls around her guys, and it was a first for her. She had never ever felt that way with her boys before. Ever.
Suddenly people were laughing, giggling, smiling and staring at each other as articles of clothing started piling up on the wet grass. She wanted to look away, she tried to look away. She had seen Justin in just his shorts before so when he got down to his boxers it didn’t really shock her that much.
But she kept waiting, anticipating…something, and she wasn’t sure why. Then he turned, pulled his boxers down and ran fast, straight into the creek with a splash, cannon-balling in. Naked girls followed him squealing, hair swinging.
She couldn’t breathe.
A naked ass wasn’t something she ever found attractive, especially one that had barely ever been tanned, but something about seeing them move as they ran, especially his, made her blush and feel wiggly inside. She made a point not to look at Trace because that was just gross, and Nick annoyed the snot out of her and she thought he was kind of ugly anyway.
Soon there was only her and James left, still clothed, still standing. She could hear splashing and annoying, girlish squeals and “stop its” which meant the exact opposite from stop.
She could hear male laughter and then heard one someone ask, “Where’s James?”
She wondered if it was weird for him to see all those girls naked, especially Lindsey since they use to date. She wondered if James had ever seen a girl naked in person before and thought about asking.
But she knew she was just wasting time and creating more of a space for Justin and everyone else to tease her.
“Get in front of me,” she said to him quietly.
“Katie you don’t-“
“Just shut up and stand in front of me so I can have a smidge of dignity,” she cut him off. It was about the tenth time that night he had told her she didn’t have to do it. And even though she knew that was true, part of her really did feel like she had to. She had to take this step, she had to make a fool out of herself, she had to be this nervous and anxious. There was no backing out of it.
He sighed, turned and crossed his arms over his chest, staring towards the creek, blocking her stripping with his tall frame from the rest of the group.
She pressed her hands into his shoulders for balance while she removed her shoes and socks and then proceeded to take off her shirt first, and then her shorts. She unfastened her bra and then stopped, amazed by how she had gotten unclothed so quickly.
Part of her, when they drove to the creek and she sat in the back of the truck with Nick and Justin and two other girls, thought maybe they would just go in their underwear. But the more she watched the girls eyeing Justin and him looking back at them, smiling, arrogant, teasing and flirting with them, she knew none of them would be wearing clothes.
And she started thinking, started wondering if Justin was going to hook up with one, or more, of the girls that night.
And then she started wondering why he had invited her.
“Are you done?” James asked her.
“Yeah, almost,” she said, bringing her hands to her hips. She took a breath and bent over, pulling down her panties and dropping them into her small pile of clothes. She made sure to cover her panties and bra with her shorts and shirt in her small pile. She didn’t want anyone to see.
She had never been a completely shy girl, but now, now she felt small and timid compared to everyone else that was just so willing and able to get naked.
She looked up and saw James looking over his shoulders and she pushed him. “Don’t turn around!!”
“Hey!” She gasped when she heard the deep voice call out and raised her body on her tip toes to see over James' shoulder. Justin was in the water, pointing at them. “No cheating Miss Lawrence. James move out of the way.”
“Justin shut up,” she yelled back.
They all laughed. At her.
She was thankful when James didn’t move.
She took her time and waited until she was sure no one was really paying attention to her, too busy flirting and trying to touch each other by splashing or swimming near each other. And she flew, she ran fast, holding her arms in awkward positions so her breasts wouldn’t sway too much. She jumped and the water was cold.
She immediately hated it and wanted to leave, but she held her breath and remained underwater for a long as she could stand it.
And when she emerged from the water with a deep breath she was shocked to hear whistles and yells and girly giggles. She thought they were for her, but no. No James was sauntering to the edge of the bank, completely nude and flipping everyone off.
She looked away. She had never seen the front of a man naked. Well, until a few minutes ago she had never seen the back of a man naked, but the back wasn’t as intriguing as the front. It was weird and she didn’t really like seeing James like that. It felt unnatural.
It was almost as bad as seeing Trace. She made sure to look away from James from that point on, but when he splashed into the water he was near her.
She kept her body under the water, treading lightly and was suddenly glad they were in a creek. The water was murky and she knew if they were in Lynn’s pool it would be crystal clear, distorted, weird, floating shapes underneath the water, and if anyone dived down they could see…
Everything.
At least with the creek there was a little mystery, unless, of course, someone got out.
“Why did we come here?” she asked James who was wading around, the water hitting him right under his shoulders. She hated him in that moment and wished she were tall so she could put her feet on the creek bed instead of treading in the water. Moving her arms and legs around to keep afloat might make her accidentally touch someone’s something, but it was the only way she knew to stay afloat. “I thought it’d be at your house.”
“Me too honestly, but then he said he didn’t want to get caught.”
“Shit!” She squealed and swam away from the spot she was in. “Something just touched my foot.” James started laughing at her and she pushed water his way making it splash against his shoulders and chest. “It’s not fucking funny! You know there are fucking snakes and shit in here. Probably an alligator.”
“Katie there’s no…”
“YES there is!” she yelled. “Earlier this summer Mrs. Dawes had one in her back yard, remember?!”
“It was a baby.”
“Still…” He was rolling his eyes and shaking his head at her, but she then noticed that he was a little closer to her. It was weird, she didn’t feel odd or anxious about James being close to her that way. She knew he wouldn’t touch her and she knew he wouldn’t try anything.
He was staying close to her so she wouldn’t be alone and so she wouldn’t be scared. She almost thanked him.
But then something happened
“Watch this!!”
She almost forgot how to swim when she looked up and standing on the bank, completely nude, with his curly blonde hair slicked back from his head and a bright smile on his face, was Justin. He was tanned and the hard work he had done touring had given the scrawny boy she knew a few years ago muscle in his arms and chest and stomach and…
And…
It was different from James’s but then again she hadn’t really looked at James’s penis. She had glanced, seen a man’s front, odd and hanging, and looked away. It looked like something she would have seen in a painting or a sculpture from an art class book. Something she would have giggled about when she was ten but now at 17 it was just another part of the body, nothing more.
But Justin’s….Justin’s wasn’t just another part. It was different.
Justin’s was bigger than any she had seen before and…and different. Maybe, she thought, maybe it was aroused. She wasn’t positive but knew that when she made out with Ryan, often there’d be something pressing into her that hadn’t been there before, and often she could see it in his pants, straining, when it hadn’t been straining before. She had even talked to Ryan about it one day, and he said that most men are small when they are soft and bigger when they’re horny. Then he offered to show her the difference and she kind of got offended. It wasn’t that she was a prude, she just knew with him it wouldn’t be right.
She wasn’t in love with Ryan, he was just someone to hang out with and make out with occasionally. And while, sure, she was curious about men and sex and other things, she really wasn’t curious about those things with Ryan.
And she had kept it to herself and away from the rest of her friends that him going off to college and leaving for the summer wasn’t the only reason they broke up. He wanted it, he wanted her to give it to him.
But she wasn’t just about to give her virginity up to him like it was nothing, like it was a milestone or something she just had to do because they had been dating for a school year. She wanted it to be right.
And with him it wasn’t right.
She realized she had been with him just to be with someone and so she ended it.
She let her eyes wander to his face for a moment to make sure he wasn’t noticing her staring, and then moved her eyes back down to stare at it some more. She really did want to study it a little, so she wouldn’t be so naïve, so she wouldn’t be straining to hear in the hallway or the bathroom when other girls were talking about their sexual adventures. She wanted to know, too. She was tired of being clueless. She was naïve and she knew most of that was her own fault.
And until that day, when Justin asked her to come to the party and then skinny dipping, she hadn’t really thought about seeing a man’s penis. It just wasn’t something she thought about often. Sure once in a while she was curious as to how it functioned and how it looked.
But that day, all day, she’d been wondering. Waiting.
She had been nervous and anxious, not really about the fact that she was going to see a naked man for the first time, but more because she knew she’d get to see him, her Justin, completely naked.
And maybe, just maybe she was even a little eager and excited about it.
He was kind of thick and looked smooth and she made herself sink all the way into the water, only her eyes peeking out. She almost wished a wave would come and make her stop looking.
But she couldn’t stop.
And she was amazed by how he wasn’t embarrassed. He was just standing there with the car lights shining on his front from the opposite bank, smiling, laughing, pointing at people, letting every fucking person see him like that.
“Fucking show off.” She heard James say, and then glanced to see that he was rolling his eyes. He started to swim a little to the left away from everyone for a moment.
She didn’t respond. She just stared some more.
She wanted to be closer, to really get to see it, but before she had time to think, or to stare, he had dove in, flipping in the air in a somersault before landing in the water. All the girls started to splash him, laughing.
She came up from the water and breathed heavily, almost gasping. She didn’t realize how long she had kept her mouth and nose under the water.
James was swimming back, completely oblivious to everyone else, seemingly in his own world. So was she, just watching everyone and everything, staring at the water, afraid that something or someone might move closer.
She couldn’t get the image of him naked and standing there so confident out of her mind. And she wished she could.
This was her Justin, and so what if she had sort of had a mini crush on him the past few years. It was childish and she knew that. She knew one of these days she’d grow up and get a boyfriend and move on from him and just talk to him around the holidays and see how his life was.
He’d be big and famous and dating a super star ,and she’d be that girl he used to play with when he was little. She’d be married with kids or something, still living a mile down the road from her parents.
Or something.
She suddenly wanted nothing more than to get out of the water and go home.
“Katherine!”
But she didn’t want anyone to see her get out.
“Oh no…” she whispered.
She looked over and Justin was smiling at her from fifteen feet away where everyone else was. He started chanting the word “dive” and everyone else chimed in, chanting, splashing, sending their splashes her way.
“Dive, dive, dive!”
She felt like she might cry. She hadn’t been picked on like this since she was in middle school and she was fucking fed up. If she had to, she’d call her dad. That’d show him.
“Stop it Justin!” she yelled.
They were laughing at her again and she thought she heard one of the girls mock her by saying, “stop it Justin” in a nasally voice.
“Are you scaaared?” He asked, slurring his words and smiling at her, starting to swim towards her. She felt like she couldn’t swim or breathe or anything. He was coming towards her….naked.
She had seen him. Naked.
But then Kim came up and dunked him, pushing her body against his and laughing. He, of course, was distracted and suddenly was trying to touch her and throw her around in the water. He had completely forgotten Katie’s existence in a matter of seconds and while she was very, very thankful, her stomach tightened a little in disappointment.
“I really don’t like him,” she muttered to herself and when she heard a slight cough from behind her she turned to see James picking up a stick in the water and throwing it out onto the bank. “James I’m getting tired,” she said.
“Let’s get out. They’re not paying attention any—“ He paused and then nodded to the bank. “Never mind.”
She turned and saw all of them scurrying out of the creek, helping each other up, all of them completely naked and wet. Two of the girls ran up behind Justin and started hitting him against his ass and he swerved around them, laughing.
Still naked. Still hard.
She sighed and slowly started swimming towards the bank. James got out first and she was thankful when he turned to help pull her out. But at the same time, she didn’t want him seeing her naked and she definitely didn’t want to see him that way either or be close to him that way.
Suddenly, though, another young man ran up behind James, pushed him in the water and laughed. Justin had his boxers on now and he was still soaked so much that the shorts were sticking to his wet thighs just a little.
He laughed and laughed, shaking a bundle of clothes in his hands. She gasped when he threw them into the creek. She watched her white bra fly through the air and her jean shorts and her t-shirt, all landing in the water softly with barely a splash.
“That’s what you get for not diving!” He laughed some more and stuck his tongue out when he did it, before turning and running back to where everyone else was putting their clothes back on.
“Just-“ She started to scream his name but realized it was no use. He didn’t care.
She stayed in the creek for a while and started to cry. She didn’t know why and she hated being so fucking girly, but she couldn’t help it. He was supposed to be her friend, supposed to be nice to her.
No, he wasn’t supposed to be nice and be her friend. He was supposed to be her fucking best friend. And he wasn’t anymore.
James was right. He had changed.
She swam to find her clothes floating in the water and soon she was struggling to put on her clothes in the creek. James had gotten out quickly after being pushed in and was already dressed and helped pull her up with her soaked, drenched clothes that weighed her down and made her feel tired. She hadn’t put on her bra. In fact, she hadn’t even searched for it, just left it in the water, floating down, winding up somewhere in the Mississippi with all the other trash and forgotten belongings in America.
While she took the front of her heavy shirt, pried it from her sticky, wet body and wringed it out, James sighed at her and said, “He’s just drunk, Katie. Just ignore him.”
When James turned to walk back to where everyone was, she mumbled to herself, “Easy for you to say.”
And now she was back by the car and truck, but by herself. James and Lindsey were talking, sharing a beer, smiling softly at each other, and while she watched them she wondered if they were getting back together. Justin and Nick were reenacting something out for the four other girls, who were giggling and annoying her.
She just rested on the edge of the back of Trace’s truck, legs pulled up and bent, cold but dry feet (he hadn’t thrown in her socks or shoes) resting on the edge and her arms were hugging her legs, her chin on her knees. She wondered if anyone of these stupid people had a cell phone she could use to call and get someone to pick her up and take her home. She sniffed and shivered when a breeze came through and chilled her to the bone.
They hadn’t thought to bring towels, but everyone else was much drier than her since she was the only one who had her clothed dropped into the creek.
No one seemed to care she was sitting there, alone with soaked clothes.
“You alright?”
Except for Trace.
“I’m freezing,” she said harshly. “And I kind of want to go home. I’m sorry. I know I’m a sore sport but that was not cool.”
“I’ll talk to him.” He shrugged and leaned back against the edge of the truck with her.
She didn’t want Trace trying to play peacemaker between them. As much as she loved Trace and knew he was family to her, Justin was his best friend and Trace would never get in between them. Hell, Justin didn’t even know she was mad at him, and he didn’t even seem to care.
And that’s what hurt the most, not that he threw her clothes in or that he tried to get her to dive in front of everyone, but because he had invited her here, he had asked her to come, and he didn’t even care. She was there to make everyone laugh and that was it.
It wasn’t because he wanted to talk to her or hang out or see his best friend, no.
No, because he had changed.
“No, whatever. He’s just being an asshole.”
“He’s kind of drunk.” Trace smiled at her.
“So are you, but you aren’t being mean.”
He laughed a little and leaned over to rub his hand vigorously on her wet head, making her hair scatter and a mess. “But I’m your cuz, buzz. Lemme see if I can find a towel in my truck.”
She smiled a thank you and he got up and turned, disappearing from view. She didn’t move to see if Trace had gone and told anyone to come talk to her or pay attention to her, or if he told Justin to stop being an ass. It didn’t matter.
They wouldn’t listen to him anyway. Plus she knew Trace was just trying to be nice to her because she was family. She knew Trace was probably trying his hardest to hook up with one of the girls that night, and she knew he probably would.
She knew Justin would, too.
She stared off at the dirt road in front of her that quickly turned to black. The car lights were on still, she could hear the radio coming from Trace’s truck, but it was dark in the back where she was sitting without any light shining her way. Her eyes had been adjusted for a while now. Lightening bugs were out, floating, glowing and the cicadas were humming loud and constant. Horror stories were told to kids in her town from the time they were children about being careful of the creeks that lead to the river. Stories of old ghosts and serial killers who killed as they traveled down the Mississippi and dropped the bodies in the river were passed down through generations in her town. And now, sitting there, staring out into the darkness, she almost wished some scary man would come up and grab her and take her away.
She wondered if then he’d care about leaving her alone.
Probably not.
She wondered if she just hopped off the truck bed and started walking down the dirt road if anyone would notice her missing.
She sighed. Shit, she’d probably have to drive them all back, too since everyone else was all drunk and she wasn't. No she was completely sober, cold, and alone.
“Here…”
When she heard his voice she thought she had imagined it. Seconds ago she could hear his laughter way behind her and now he was beside her. She turned her head slowly to the right and saw him standing there with a towel and a small smile. She took it and immediately started wiping the water off herself. She tried to dry her hair and finally just resorted to wrapping the towel around her shoulders and shivering. It was a ratty towel, an old faded beach towel and she didn’t know whose it was and didn't care that it smelled like car oil. It was dry and warmed her a little.
She didn’t speak to him and didn’t look at him.
“Are you mad at me?” She heard him ask softly and soon he was right in front of her, putting his hands on her damp, bare knees that were cold, but drier now because of the towel. He pouted at her.
“Yes,” she said, and he easily pushed at her knees to get them to drop so her legs dangled off the end of the truck and he was standing right in front of them.
She blinked, hoping the images of him naked and standing there on the bank would leave her mind, but when she looked down and saw his jeans, she could picture him without them and she had never been able to do that before.
“Katie…” He laughed a little to himself and she almost let out some noise of excitement, or fear or shock or something, when he leaned right into her and pressed his forehead against her shoulder. He moaned slightly and said, “I’m so drunk.”
“Yeah.” It was all she could say. Suddenly he was there with her, he was her best friend again like a sudden switch of weather, holding out a towel, leaning against her drunk and tired. His hands had moved from her knees to the truck bed on either side of her hips and he was breathing deeply.
“Don’t be mad,” he mumbled.
She sighed out, “I’m not.” And maybe it was the truth, maybe she wasn’t mad, maybe, just maybe she was jealous instead.
Or disappointed.
He was quiet, just breathing heavily and for a moment she wondered if he had fallen asleep. But then she felt his hands against her hips, gripping her a little as he started to roll his forehead back and forth along her shoulder, his damp curls brushing against her neck and chin while he hummed something to himself. And then he stopped moving and he was quiet.
She could hear a girl scream several feet away. She could hear Trace and James’s laughter, but she didn’t care.
“I kind of liked seeing you naked,” he said softly.
The hands she had resting in her lap, the fingers that were picking at each other’s nails stopped moving, and when she felt his own hands squeeze her hips just a little, she knew she wasn’t just hearing things.
“A lot,” he added.
“Wh-what…” It didn’t make sense. This was her Justin, her cocky, player-attitude, new Justin who was becoming famous and letting it go to his head. This was the Justin that was changing.
But it made so, so much sense. Because this was her Justin, hers and no one else’s. The boy leaning against her now was hers and the wheels in her head started slowly turning and then immediately were working in overdrive.
Maybe that’s why he invited her, maybe that’s why he wanted her to dive in front of everyone. Because he wanted to see her naked.
And maybe that’s why she came.
Because she wanted to see him as well.
He pulled back and his blue eyes were glassy but smiling into her brown ones. “And I’m glad you aren’t with Ryan anymore.”
She took in a breath, his thumbs were moving in the creases of her wet shorts where her torso bent from her thighs. His finger tips were slightly on her ass and he kept staring into her eyes.
“Justin you’re drunk,” she said, letting him know he was getting closer to her than he ever had before, even closer than when he'd give her those giant bear hugs.
But she also said the words to force herself not to get ahead, not to think too much about this. He was drunk and that was all.
“So that can be my excuse.”
He started to smirk and she knew it was going to happen even when she asked, “Excuse for what?”
She knew by the heavy look in his eyes, the slight smile on his face and the way his body was slowly leaning into her own that he was going to kiss her.
And he did. He squeezed her with his hands when his lips touched hers. He tasted good, rich, and she assumed it was from the beer. What tasted stale from the bottle, tasted good from his mouth. She wasn’t so innocent about kissing as she was with sex, and for some reason as soon as his lips were against hers their mouths were opened and they were really, really kissing.
It was slow though, not sloppy and rushed like most her kisses from Ryan had been, and any kiss before Ryan she considered not relevant because she was a freshman in high school and no one really knew how to kiss back then anyway.
But Justin knew. He was slow and let her taste his mouth and did the same with hers, taking his time and pulling back just slightly with his full lips only to dip back in and start over, tilting his head this way instead of that.
It should have shocked her and she should have pushed him away, especially with the way he had been acting that night. She had sort of wondered what it would be like to kiss him all that year and the year before when he started growing up, his voice getting deeper, his eyes darker, his smile brighter. No longer did he look so much like a little boy.
He was attractive, ‘totally hot’ as all the girls said at her school. But it was more than just hotness. He was handsome, his face wasn’t so baby-like any more. He was growing into it, into that nose he hated. His jaw was defined, there was a slight stubble against his chin and she knew he had to shave. She knew James hated it, complained about it all the time with her, told her if he knew his mom wouldn’t shoot him he’d grow a full beard. She even remembered last time when Justin came home they went to the store to get his mom some more milk and he picked up some razor blades while they were there.
Ryan only had to shave every few days and she knew he was slightly embarrassed by the fact that he couldn’t grow a full beard yet, especially since he was a year older than her and most of her guy friends.
Her hand came up to touch that stubble in that moment, to feel the slight, barely there roughness on the side of his face, to feel his jaw move underneath her palm as he kissed her.
It was natural.
The whole damn thing. He had been an asshole and even his pathetic attempts at flirting with her, which she now realized that’s what he was doing when asked her to “dive” and threw her clothes in the water—it was flirting, were forgotten. Sure he had retreated to middle school behavior with her, but not now.
Now he was her Justin, hers. And he was kissing her. All the feelings she had started to feel for him over the past two years exploded. It was a full fledge crush now, not something she tried to hide or push down. Not something she just brushed off as missing her best friend.
She liked him. She really liked him.
When her legs spread and his hands on her hips pulled her closer to the edge, she wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but when his crotch pressed against her own she gasped and pulled apart from him.
She had felt this with Ryan and while it always sparked her curiosity it had never made her excited before. And when he pressed it against her and smiled at her, licking his lips and the biting them, it made her ache.
She knew that ache. It was the ache that every week or two was getting stronger and stronger. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do with that ache, but somewhere in her she knew she’d find out. The ability to deal with it was somewhere in her, she just hadn’t discovered it yet.
She brought her hands around his neck and smiled at him. Here he was kissing her and even though he was drunk, she didn’t care. She wanted it. She wanted him. She liked it.
And he liked it, too.
She started to pull him forward and saw his smile drop and his mouth open a little, ready to kiss her again.
“Justinnnn….”
They both tensed.
“Where’d you go?” some girl slurred. Katie couldn’t even tell whose voice it was, they all sounded alike to her. He pulled back a little to look over around the truck and see who it was.
And she tightened her grip and pulled him back, squeezing his hips between her thighs. She didn’t know why she was doing it, why she was trying to force him to stay with her. She didn’t know what he wanted from her. If he wanted more she didn’t know if she would be able to give it, or if she wanted to.
But she didn’t want him to leave.
“Don’t,” she pleaded with him.
He glanced into her eyes and then back around her and the truck.
And then he sighed and she knew it was over. He didn’t have to say anything. She just knew.
“You're not like them Kate,” he said softly. “You’re a good girl..." She could feel him pull away and she wanted to cry.
She could feel it bubbling in her chest, heavier and heavier, pushing down on her shoulders yet pulling up in her throat.
He pulled his hands off her, running them against her thighs to her knees and then dropping his hands down by his sides. He didn’t look at her, he couldn’t. And she bit her lip to keep from letting out a sob.
It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fucking fair!
And then he stepped forward again, smiled and touched her face just lightly. He was looking right in her eyes now, dipping down a little, as if he were talking to a child. And that’s how she felt, childish.
“You’re a good girl.” He grinned at her, leaned in and kissed her cheek. “You’re special.”
And then he was gone, hand gone from her face, lips gone from her mouth, body gone from hers, eyes and smile gone from her view. She was left alone and she could hear someone go, “Where were you?” and another girl squealed, “oh my god Justin”.
She was all alone. He had left her all alone.
And he had kissed her.
It was just the first time, of many times where he would do both.
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