Next Day
He loaded a suitcase into the back of the car and turned, almost bumping into Trace, who was throwing in the last duffle bag. He mumbled a sorry and walked from the garage back into the house. His mother was putting stuff into her purse, and he cleared his throat and walked past her to the fridge to pull out a bottle of water.
"Mom, don't forget the plane tickets."
"I'm not, I'm not!" she said in a slightly-panicked tone.
Justin sighed. He couldn't believe his summer was over. He couldn’t believe he was leaving.
He couldn’t believe what had happened the day before. He couldn’t believe it happened with her.
He turned and walked from the kitchen into the den. James was sitting there watching TV, yawning. "You're freaking her out."
"She's frazzled," Justin said and just stood there, taking long sips from his bottle, staring at his brother who didn’t move his gaze from the screen.
"You alright? You've been quiet all day."
"It's just...ya know, I'm leaving." That was only a fraction of his weird mood. The rest had to do with a particular girl that lived down the street and had yet to show up. And he was leaving in less than fifteen minutes. "It's always weird coming back and going all the time."
"I guess that's true." James shrugged. Sometimes he was so jealous of James. He got to have the house to himself and truly be on his own. Of course James was really staying with his grandparents. His mom and Justin were both leaving, but considering that his grandparents lived 30 feet away from the house, it seemed to Justin as if James was left on his own, at seventeen.
He wondered what would happen when he moved out on his own. He had been thinking about buying a house in Florida, only a few months away and he'd be 18. Suddenly he couldn’t stop his thoughts. He started wondering what she'd do once she graduated. He knew she was thinking about college....he wondered if she'd be around more.
He wondered if this would end, if one day he'd be back here not singing, not dancing, not touring. And he wondered if she'd still be around.
He wondered what they were, now. His brain wouldn’t stop.
"Hey uh..." He looked at the watch on his wrist and shook his head. Where was she? "Have you talked to Katie today?"
"No. Why?"
"You think she's coming?"
"Why wouldn't she?" James shrugged again and kept looking at the TV. It wasn't like her to not show up. Every time before she had been right there, all day, helping pack up, smiling and making jokes and then giving him a big hug and a kiss on his cheek and telling him she’d miss him and loved him and would talk to him soon.
He walked back to the kitchen, his mother wasn’t there anymore and he could hear Trace's laughter echoing through the screen door in the kitchen that led to the garage.
It amazed him how afterward it wasn’t awkward and it wasn’t weird with her. They didn’t sit there and cry or get mad or freak out that they were friends who had just fucked. No, instead he had laid there with her and had kissed her over and over, not sweet kisses, but not passionate ones either; deep ones, completely exploring her mouth, enjoying the feel of her fingers against his back and her body clamped around his. It wasn’t weird. He had pulled out several minutes after cumming. He had sighed and leaned back on his heels, sitting up on bent knees. She had looked at the condom on him and said "yuck" with a turned up her nose. There was a bit of blood stained to it, and it was drooping and filled with cum, wet and slick.
He laughed at her, shifted off the bed and said, "It's not that bad."
He had gone to the bathroom and thrown away the condom, wrapping it up in a wad of tissue first. Then he lifted her toilet seat to pee, not expecting her to follow and to stand there watching him do it. He had laughed at her when he saw her in the doorway, leaning and naked, "What are you doing?"
"I need to pee, too."
He had laughed and finished and left her alone to do her business. He didn’t shut the door but he went back into her room threw on his boxer briefs and grabbed up the condom wrapper and the washcloth she had used earlier. "Hey Justin?" He walked back over to the bathroom and she was sitting on the toilet, looking in between her legs. She looked back up at him and cringed a little, "I'm bleeding a little."
"Did I hurt you?" he had immediately asked.
"No, not too bad..." He just stared at her, sitting there naked on the toilet. It was weird. He had never really been this comfortable with a girl before. He had been naked with them, had sex with them, but never been this...intimate. It was so sudden, too. She had smiled at him and pointed to the door. "Will you bring me some panties? Check the top left drawer on my dresser."
He shuffled around her room, a little out of it and made it to the dresser. It hadn’t hit him yet what had happened, and it wouldn’t until later, late that night in his own bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. In that moment his body felt loose and relaxed and exhausted. He grabbed a pair of white panties with little lavender designs on them. He walked half way into the bathroom and dangled them in front of her. "Are these ok?" She nodded and snatched them from him, putting them immediately around her ankles and pulling them up to her knees. He watched her take a small, square folded package and press a thin pad into the crotch of the material. "What are you doing?"
"Maintenance." She laughed and stood up, pulling up on her panties to cover her hips and then turning to flush the toilet. "See fixed by a diaper."
"Weird," he said with a slight laugh as she came closer to him.
He watched her as she stopped beside him near the sink and stared at herself in the mirror. She turned her head this way and that and said, "Hmm, my face is flushed...”
He didn’t know if this was out of line now, he didn’t know what was appropriate now, but he didn’t really think about it too much and he really didn’t care. He put his hands on her hips and pressed himself into her back, looking at her over her shoulder, through the mirror. “Do I look different?"
"You're hot,” he said with a smile and dipped down to kiss her bare shoulder, moving his arms around her torso, looking at her breasts, liking how they looked against her body. His hands started to move up a little and he covered them softly in his fingers and palms, squeezing them and smiling. “Who knew you had these underneath those shirts you wear."
He looked up into the mirror just to see her turn and he caught her eyes and they were looking right at him now, their chests pressed, her hands on his shoulders, his arms still around her. She blinked and leaned a little closer, whispering his name, "Justin..."
And she kissed him and he responded. It felt good holding her like that –just kissing her, not because he was horny or because he was curious. This kiss was because he wanted to, because it felt good and was comforting.
It was slow, and their tongues touched lightly before she pulled away and sighed.
He groaned a little at the feel of her small body against his own and sighed against her face, “Oh my god, I could use a nap."
"Isn’t that rude or something?" She turned up her nose slightly and he pulled back a little.
"What?"
"Well…” She shifted away from him and walked back into her room and closer to her bed. “I overhear girls say and you hear on TV about the guy always snoozing after sex and it being bad."
"I can't help it you wore me out." She sat on the edge of her bed and looked up at him with wide eyes. He smiled at her and picked up her hands. "Girl you just made me cum twice...twice!" She fell into a fit of giggles, covering her mouth with her hand and laying on her bed sideway, picking up her legs and curling up a little.
"Why you giggling. Huh? Huh?" He laughed at her and poked her in her sides and stomach like he knew she hated. He didn’t do it for long because she was lying there, looking at him as he stood beside her laying form. Her eyes were tired and her body was curled up, looking for warmth.
"I could nap, too."
He grinned at her and walked over to the other side of the bed, immediately pushing off more stuffed animals and pillows, fumbling to get all the covers off the bed and get his lanky frame into the bed. "How many fucking covers do you have on this thing?"
She turned over to face him and helped him pull a single sheet up over them. She bit her lip a little and whispered in a completely flirty manner, "You weren’t complaining earlier."
He stopped his fumbling and smiled at her, "I was distracted..."
She smiled a little and he returned her smile and stuck his tongue out at her. All she said in return was a quiet, peaceful, “Silly..."
He had pulled her up into him and she curled against his chest, her leg bent over his lap, pinning him to the bed and keeping him against her body. Neither of them had time to talk much more or to lay there and debate it or think about anything. They both fell asleep quickly, reveling in the feel of each other’s warmth.
It wasn’t until a couple hours later when she felt him nudge her and whisper “Katie…Kate, what time are your parents coming home?” She finally woke up, looked at the clock and freaked out a little. It was past dinner time and even though she had about an hour until they were planning to return, she didn’t know if they would get home early. She wouldn’t be able to explain a naked Justin in her bed.
She had scrambled out of the bed, thrown on some clothes and immediately started to clean her room. He had helped a little, moving a little slower than her, wishing she wouldn’t freak out but knowing there was nothing he could do to stop her.
These were his last few moments with her alone and she was panicking.
Before he knew it they were at her front door and he was hugging her and kissing her cheek, whispering to her that she had to come see him before he left the next day. They hugged for a long, long time and he kissed her lips softly before leaving.
But now it was the next day and she wasn’t there and the time was clicking away.
He sighed and leaned against the kitchen counter, staring at the phone, wondering if he should call her.
Then he heard Trace yell, “Buzz!”
He jumped a little, turned and immediately went to the screen door just in time to see her walking into the garage. She had sunglasses over her eyes and was wearing jeans and a pink t-shirt. “Hi. Where’s Justin?”
He pushed through the screen door violently, ignoring all the stares as he walked right to her, “Hey…”
She smiled softly just for a second before he came closer, pressing his body near hers. He grabbed at her hand.
“Come here…” he said in a low voice and tugged her out of the garage and past the driveway over the side yard and around the side of the house, out of sight.
“Hey Justin! We’re gonna be late!” He heard his mom call out, but he didn’t care. Katie was following him, but when they got to the side of the house she voiced her concern.
“Justin you’re gonna miss your flight. What are you doing?”
He didn’t speak, he held her hand and turned. His other hand surged against her cheek and he brought his lips to hers, kissing her with fury and insanity. He didn’t know what was coming over him, but right then in that moment he needed her. He was confused about what had happened the day before, but he didn’t regret it and he didn’t want to change it.
But things had changed for them and he didn’t know how to deal with it. They weren’t together, but they weren’t just friends anymore. They couldn’t just be friends anymore, no matter how much they tried. It was over.
And now with him leaving he didn’t know what the day before meant.
She didn’t either.
She held him against her as he kissed her deeply, tongues thrashing and lips pulling. They were devouring each other right there and she promised herself she wouldn’t cry. Yesterday had happened and she was happy about it. She didn’t look back on it with sadness. It was a good afternoon, an almost perfect first time.
And he liked her. It proved that he liked her just like she liked him. And even though he was going away she knew they could try.
They had to try.
She pulled away breathless and he held her face in his hands, their foreheads touched and her hands remained on his sides, grabbing the jersey he was wearing in her fists.
They breathed together and she whispered, “This is a long tour, isn’t it?"
He kissed her again and pulled her against him in a deep, strong hug. "We'll keep in touch. I promise Kate, I promise." She held him back and buried her face into his chest. She didn’t know why this mattered so much, why she was going crazy with the thought of him leaving.
Maybe part of her knew then what she knew now. Maybe she knew that things were different, things wouldn’t be the same….and maybe she knew then that he would have a very, very hard time keeping promises.
They had to pull apart and they did so awkwardly. They walked back to the drive way and garage without holding hands or touching. No one cared; no one seemed to notice them together, or to find it odd. Except for James, who gave them a weird look, but shook it off in order to hug his brother and mother.
She stood out of the way and she hugged Lynn, almost tearing up when she said to her about James, “take care of my boy”. Katie wanted to say back to her to take care of her boy, but she knew she couldn’t say that. She couldn’t tell Lynn. She couldn’t tell anyone. She didn’t expect Justin to hug her again, and he didn’t. He waved slightly and she kept her eyes to the cement floor as everyone said good bye. Her eyes were still there when they had pulled out, when everyone else stood around talking or got ready to leave.
“Hey…” She jumped at the voice and the hand on her shoulder and looked to see James beside her, smiling a little. “Girl, what’s wrong with you? He’ll be back.”
She took in a deep breath and pressed the bottoms of her hands into her eyes. She wasn’t going to cry. “I’m being stupid.”
“You alright?”
She lied, “Yeah, I’m fine.”
He laughed a little and pulled his arms around her in a huge hug, bending her over a little and squeezing her a little too tight in a brotherly manner. “If it makes you feel better you can call me Justin and I’ll act like him.”
“No…no…” She stopped and turned in his arms, clutching to him and saying, “I like you as James.”
She hugged him for a while and was thankful when he didn’t question it. But she knew James wasn’t a dumb guy. She knew his brain was working, she knew he had noticed their disappearance and she knew he was questioning their awkward return and the odd glances.
She knew James would find out and she just prayed that while everything with Justin had changed, nothing would with James, no matter what he knew about her. She needed something constant in her life. She needed James
Author's Chapter Notes:
shh, I'm at work posting this. he he he he.
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