"Come on, help me out here."

"You know I'm crap at this," I shrug. "My idea of a party is still jelly and ice cream and pass the parcel."

Kate from accounts recoils in horror. "You Brits put jelly on your ice cream?"

Lily and I share a confused look. What's wrong with jelly and ice cream? "Well what do you eat it with?"

"Toast, peanut butter sandwiches?"

"Oh, British - American translation error," Lily says with a grin. "What you call jelly we call jam. When we say jelly we're talking about the type that wobbles on a plate."

"You mean jello? Then why didn't you just say that?"

We share a mutual 'these bloody colonials' look and say no more of it.

Lily has dragged both me and Kate out to help her organise some event for one of her pals. I've never even met this pal but apparently her birthday's a similar time to mine; Lily said it's a couple of days before. Why I have to be dragged out to do an activity I hate for a girl I don't know is beyond me, but since Lily has actually been talking to me lately I'm trying not to turn down opportunities to hang out.

You could call me chicken and you'd be right to do so, but I haven't had the guts to ask her why she was ignoring me. Why she suddenly stopped the absent treatment all of a sudden I have no idea, but since she's actually been at home occasionally and is asking me to do things with her again I don't want to upset the apple cart by bringing it back up. Whatever it was it's apparently no longer an issue for her, so I guess it's only my curiosity that asking her would satisfy. Either way, if suffering through some party planning keeps her onside then suffer through party planning I shall.

I just hope this girl shares Lily's elaborate taste, because she's going totally mad here. I shudder to imagine how much this shindig is going to cost.

"Wow, look at this…" Kate stops by one of the pictures and gapes in awe. It's a circus themed set up - the whole venue has been set up to look like a circus ring, right down to the canvas on the walls, there are fire eaters and even live animals on display. I don't even want to think about how much it costs to have a panther sit in a cage at your party.

We are standing in the office of one Felicia Taylor, party planner for the A list. Judging from the walls there is no expense or concept too big for this woman. Each picture is labelled neatly with the theme of the party and details on a few of the decorations, and reading them is making my eyes pop near out of my head. How you'd even find an apparently genuine early 15th century suit of armour in LA for a Henry VIII themed party I don't know, but I can't help wondering why nobody told them that Henry VIII wasn't born until the 1490s. That would be the late 15th century - still, I'm just impressed they managed to find anybody daring enough to lend 600 year old historical artefacts out for display at a drunken party. Historical inaccuracy can be overlooked.

"What kind of theme do you think we should go for?" Lily muses as she looks over the walls. "Bombay Dream?"

"Isn't that the name of that curry house we used to order takeaways from?"

"Hush," Lily smirks, elbowing me as I burst into giggles. That Bombay Dream was about as far from Hollywood A list as you get. It was cheap, cheerful and if you were stupid enough to order the hotter stuff an enemy to the bowels. "Arabian Nights, Night at the Oscars, Medieval Court… Blingtastic?" I peer over her shoulder. It's pink, every possible surface is studded with rhinestones or sequins and it looks like Barbie's Dream House exploded in there. "I'm guessing that's the stuff they do for the thirteen year old Hills brats with too much of Daddy's money and not enough taste?"

"It's really revolting, isn't it?"

"Oh yep."

"I kind of like the Arabian one," Kate offers.

"What would you wear though?" My nose scrunches up in distaste.

"Like, Princess Jasmine stuff."

"Which is fine until you see the guys having to wear parachute pants to look like Aladdin. MC Hammer is not a good look."

"Good point. I concede."

"So Arabian Nights is off the list… how about something medieval or Tudor-ish though?" Lily asks. "Henry Cavill and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers seem to look hot enough in that stuff, and there's got to be a ton of costume stores who'd do that kind of outfit."

"You know this girl better than me, but if I were her I cannot think of anything I'd less rather do on my birthday than spend the night in a corset struggling to breathe," I respond. "Do you really need to do a theme? I'm sure they could just make the place look good without some wild thing."

"There's always stuff like Hawaiian or Oscars though, stuff that people could still wear normal clothes for," Kate points out, gesturing to a luau set up. "Or you could just do a general costume party so that people who want to wear corsets can and anybody who doesn't can come dressed as Marilyn Monroe or something."

"Hmm." Lily's got her 'thinking' expression on, a crafty look on her face. "Problem is how am I supposed to get Amy into a costume without rumbling the surprise?"

Kate and I both ponder this for a moment and both fail to come up with an answer. "Yeah, there's no way," I say. "Nobody gets ordered into fancy dress around birthday time without smelling a rat."

"Champagne Supernova?" Kate tries another one. "This looks just like some upmarket thing, all you'd have to do would be dress up a little."

Lily and I catch each other's eyes and immediately burst out singing at the same time. "Some day you will find me, caught beneath a landsliiiiiide, in a champagne supernova in the skyyyyyy…"

"I'm embarrassed to be seen with you two." Kate shakes her head. "I really am."

"Come on, it's Oasis, it's a classic!" Lily protests.

"If you say so."

Lily and I share another 'bloody colonials' look. Either way, I'm hoping Lily picks something soon so she can talk to Felicia and then we can go. Huge parties aren't my thing.

***

I've decided that I actually quite like Kate. She's fairly new and since her office is on the lower floor of the building I don't see her very much; hence we haven't hung out much before today. Apparently though she and Lily have become quite friendly, and now I've spent time with her today I can see why. She reminds me a lot of Nina, actually, she's very bubbly. I had a slight pang of Adora homesickness when I thought of that, but she and Lily make a sufficiently amusing double act to keep my mind occupied on other things.

"So, now Lily's not here to tell me off for being nosy, I have to ask you about Justin Timberlake."

"Really?" I try to keep my face straight, but my eyebrow wants to arch itself up. We're lunching at Nobu and Lily has just nipped out to go to the ladies' room.

"Yeah. Nothing bad, don't worry," she gives a tinkling laugh, "but I know you girls on the top floor see him more than we do. Is he Mr Mega Star or does he actually take time to acknowledge the little people?"

It's hard to keep from breathing a sigh of relief. Either she's the world's best actress or she doesn't know how close I am to Justin's circle. "No, he's really nice."

"Is he as good looking in person?"

"Better," I say.

"Man, I used to have such a crush on him back in the *NSYNC days," she giggles. "I wrote his name in hearts on my notebooks and everything."

"So you're a fan, huh?" Privately, I smile to myself.

"Well, I'm not harbouring delusions that we're going to get married any more but I go to his shows and stuff."

"I've never been," I reply as I attempt and fail to pick up a California roll with my chopsticks. "The music scene on Adora is really behind the rest of the world except when it comes to Latin stuff."

"The shows are amazing; we should go when he does his next tour." She smiles, and for a moment I envy her for her openness and easily friendly manner. "The album's out so the tour can't be long off."

How right she is - last time I spoke to Justin he'd just come out of a meeting about his set list. "Sounds good. So who else are you into?"

Kate blithely fails to notice my 'change of topic' ploy and keeps gabbing on about my pal. "The last tour, my friend got us tickets for the VIP circle and we were so close it's unbelievable. Normally I'm stuck up in the nosebleeds relying on the screens so it was weird to see him actually up close and real. You see them on TV but never in person and it's almost like they don't really exist."

"Oh, he exists all right." He and his slightly smelly socks, tendency to whine like a three year old when bored and disgusting burps really do exist.

"I saw his new video the other day and it nearly revived the marriage fantasies. Boy looks good."

"Yeah, he does."

"You know…" She looks at me, chewing thoughtfully. "Now I think about it, you look a hell of a lot like the girl in the video."

"I wish." I roll my eyes, letting out a laugh.

"No, seriously, you really do. You're prettier but now I look at you the resemblance is really strong."

"Nah." That would be freakish and weird, given that the song is about me.

Kate drops her chopsticks and starts digging in her bag. Pulling out her Blackberry, she starts playing with it. "No, you definitely do. Let me find a picture…"

"Oh come on, Kate, like I look like some model."

"You do!"

"Nuh uh."

"You do."

"Do not."

"Do so!"

Before the conversation can get any more childish, she's found what she wants and has handed me her phone. "You see?"

In total horror, I do see. She's managed to find a still that really does make the chick look scarily like me. She's so scarily like me I can actually feel my hand shaking a little bit. I'm so unbelievably confused - how did I not notice this before? How did nobody else who knows me notice? Why would Justin do this? Now I see it, the resemblance is way too strong to be a coincidence. He knows the last thing I want is the world knowing too much about me or our relationship, and I made him swear he would never name me as the inspiration for the song. So why would he do this?

I recognise the feeling bubbling up in my chest, and it's the same anger I felt when I found out he'd lied about himself. A lot of people would probably think I was protesting too much if I said that I want no part of the fame aspect of his life, but it's true. As much as I'm sure that a lot of the leeches who do only want his fame insist that they're not in it for money or whatever, I mean every single word. Being the focus of attention is not something I have ever enjoyed, and the last thing I would do is seek it out. Having too many people looking at me makes me really uncomfortable, and I can't think of anything I'd less rather do than have the world's press knocking on my door because they think I've got something to say about Justin. Hell, I refuse to leave his house or my apartment with him unless we're part of a group or if I've checked there are no paparazzi around. It's not some moral thing of 'see how little I care about money' or whatever. I just don't fucking like it.

So the idea that he's put me in so much danger of it by making my lookalike his love interest in a video infuriates me. What the hell does he think he's doing?

"See?" Kate asks again.

"I guess I have a doppelganger," I shrug, trying to smile like I think this is cool or funny. Getting upset about it is only going to clue Kate in that I have something personal invested in it.

"Man, just think, you could go around telling everybody you were in a video with Justin Timberlake!" Kate giggles as she takes her phone back. If only she knew that I could say much bigger things about what I've done with Justin Timberlake and that they'd all be true.

"I could tell them he has to have his trailer blessed by a Hindu priest."

"You could tell them he stuffs his pants with socks."

"I could tell them I caught him getting a blow job from a rent boy."

Kate bursts out into hysterical laughter. She thinks I'm just being funny; I know that I'm being vicious. "The possibilities are endless."

"Indeed."

"And what are you two chuckling about?" Lily says brightly as she slides back into her seat.

"Addy looking like the chick in Justin's new video."

"Oh."

It's only a subtle twitch in her cheek, but it's enough to let me know that the similarity hadn't escaped Lily and it's enough to make me give her the look that tells her I know.

"My turn for the ladies', excuse me."

Kate excusing herself couldn't have come at a better time, and immediately I glare at Lily. "So you weren't planning to mention it."

"You didn't seem to have noticed and I figured that all I'd accomplish was shit stirring."

"You should have told me."

"Sorry." She gives a helpless shrug. "I didn't see what good it would do. Besides, nobody seems to have caught on except me."

"And Kate, apparently."

"Only because we know you," she points out not unreasonably. "If you're worried about the masses catching on, I don't think they will. You're careful enough around the paps."

"Why would he even do it in the first place?" I grumble, taking a sip of my water.

"Well, if you ask me that song sounds an awful lot like it's about you." She's really not wrong. "Maybe it was just a subconscious thing?"

"If you managed to spot it why wouldn't he? He's…"

I was about to finish that sentence with 'spent a lot more time with me than you lately.' That really isn't wise, so I'm glad I managed to halt my mouth before it got me in trouble.

"Close to you?"

That sounds like a plausible end to the comment, so I nod. "Yeah. We spend a lot of time together, how could he not notice?"

"Maybe he was just looking for a Latina?"

"I'm not a Latina. I'm English, which you of all people know."

"But when you're tanned you could pass for one. And he did meet you on Adora."

"True…" I muse out loud. "He mistook me for a local the first time we met."

"See?" Lily replies brightly, reaching over to steal some of my seaweed. She can do that, I hate the stuff. "It was probably a dumb but innocent mistake on his part."

"Dumb is right," I grumble. "I need that like I need a whole in the head. Like there's not enough shit going on."

"Really?" She frowns at me. "What shit?"

"Just… life, you know." I pull a grimace at her.

"Maybe."

She's giving me that stare she gives me when she sees right through me but won't push it. When she gets that expression there's nothing much I can say in response, so instead I start playing with my food. Perhaps it's my own petty way of punishing her, but as of yet I'm still not comfortable enough with her again to let her into my head on stuff like this. I love her and I'm willing to just hang out again no questions asked, but she doesn't get to swan back in after ignoring me all this time and expect to be let straight back into my deepest thoughts.

Besides, it's not that bad. I have a stressful job and a relationship with an ex that's confusing. Neither of those things is especially rare, I should be able to cope. Nobody needs to swoop in and save me from myself, Lily or Justin or whoever. I hate it when people take it upon themselves to stick their noses into my business like that - I didn't talk to my mum for an age after she forced me into counselling. I did not have anorexia and I did not need to be forced into treatment for eating disorders since I didn't have one. Even the damn counsellor agreed I didn't. I was a bit depressed over a break up, boo hoo, woe is me, like I was the only person in the world who felt crap after a break up. Or, in this case, who's a bit pissed with a friend (or two, in this case).

I'll live. I just hope nobody's got any more surprises for me because I'm not sure I can take another one.