You're not supposed to choose between your friends, but I have. Considering how little I see my British friends it's even worse that I picked a favourite among them rather than my Adoran crew, but I have. It's for the shallowest reason ever, too.

To be fair (read: I'm scrambling for a decent excuse), Lily was not always a friend you could be shallow about. She grew up on a housing estate in Slough; we only met because she went to school with me in Windsor. Slough is a nasty pit of a town and you could not pay me to go there unless I absolutely have to on pain of death. It's half an industrial estate and half row after row of nasty looking houses. Anyway, to begin with she was never going to make the annual Who's Who; this all changed when her Dad did something revolutionary with something electrical (don't ask me what, even Lily doesn't quite understand it) and became a squillionaire.

Really, of all places to be vacationing Lily should not be coming to Adora. She's pale, she's a redhead and how she manages to keep from burning I'll never know, but her family have a villa about half way between me and Playa Del Sol so she always comes out for summer and winter holidays - they got it after hearing us all rave about the island. Whenever she comes out it usually meshes pretty perfectly with my time off so I'll go spend a few days there with her and she happily foots the bill for shopping, spa days… you name it. Her Mum's generous as all hell and because she's so big on Lily remembering her roots she's generous as all hell to any friend from BTWR (Before They Were Rich). Everybody else can fuck off and stop gold digging as far as she's concerned but anybody who still liked them when they lived off beans on toast she'll do anything for. Her father's the same… but then it's like my mum says. Even when they didn't have much, they were generous with what they had.

So yes, because she treats me to gorgeous spa days like today Lily is my favourite English friend. I am so pathetically materialistic… In less shallow waters, Lily's also a great therapist. She's one of those people who are infinitely chilled and wise; I've actually seen total strangers start pouring their hearts out to her. It's just this vibe she gives off. She keeps joking that she's going to start charging, but because I'm BTWR I get her services for free.

Today, we are at the most exclusive a.k.a expensive spa in Adora. Amusingly (well, to me anyway), in order to distinguish themselves from the usual all white tiling and villa style décor you find everywhere else they've done it up to look like a British hotel inside, all carpets and pot plants… it cracks me up. Lily and I received our massages earlier - I actually know the girl who did mine. Her father works with my Dad so we chat a lot while we're at it even though we're supposed to be quiet and meditating or something… what can I say, I like to chat. Then we had our full body exfoliating sea salt scrubs and now we are having our all natural mud warming face packs. Apparently they have to 'bake' for fifteen minutes so they've left me and Lily to it. Needless to say, we are chatting.

"So after I blathered on for twenty minutes about my boy issues you're telling me you have none?" Lily pretends to scowl at me as best she can without wrecking the mask. From the way mine's tightening I don't think the same expression will be possible again.

"Sorry, still single," I shrug.

"Addy…" she whines. "I want gossip!"

"Sorry, have none! Mike and Tanya are still in that 'I hate you so I'm going to sleep with you' phase if that's of any interest?" Tanya is another ex pat who works on Adora and is currently Mike's ex. Not that it stops them.

"Ugh," she waves a dismissive hand. "After all this time he's like my brother too, I don't want to know."

I desperately want to scratch my nose, this thing itches. "It's just the same old, you know. The kids were the same as ever and vacation is the same as ever. Swim, surf, tan, hang out when people aren't on shift. Oh, Nina and Mariella say hi by the way."

"Tell them hi too."

Her mother's generosity doesn't quite extend to paying for the whole gang to go on a week long jolly, but Lily always makes a point of coming home with me for dinner one night and seeing everybody. The guys joke that they're just going to woo her for her money, but she fits in well. Like I said, she just has that aura around her that makes everybody immediately warm to her and hand over their darkest secrets. The down side is that I have never been able to keep any information from her; that's fine until said secrets aren't yours to give away. Amongst our gang at school it was basically accepted that telling any one of us anything meant that you were in effect telling Lily as well, the woman has power.

"So are we just doing manicures or was there anything else on the treatment list you fancy?" Lily asks. I could name anything, even the astronomically expensive caviar treatment (I have no idea what they'd even do with the stuff) but I'm aware that the reason Lily is willing to do stuff like this with me is that I'm not going to take advantage.

"I think a manicure works just fine, though…" I hold up my nails in disgust. They're all different lengths, but the common theme is short. "Mine are busted."

She wrinkles her nose and it makes cracks form in the drying mud. "Ugh, why?"

"I've been surfing non-stop for the past week," I explain. "I either break them on the board or the salt water just weakens them and I snag them later."

"Is there any point in me suggesting you get tips?"

"Those will get wrecked just as quick."

"Enough said."

The other thing I love about Lily is that she's my girliest friend. When I'm with her, it's all shopping and beauty and boys. There's so much more to her than that as a person, but it all gets experienced around the shopping. She's even doing some work experience at some fashion houses, she wants to design her own stuff one day; I would be hopeless without her, I have no eye for clothes. If I had my way I'd live in my shorts, bikini and flip flops. "God, do you remember that time you tried to teach me?" Lily bursts out into squeaky laughter. She's not a total princess, she'll try anything once, but surfing she was horrible at. To this day Dante swears he's never seen anyone wipe out so much even for their first lesson.

"I still can't believe that you managed to fall off all those times unscathed and then smack your head on the board AFTER you leave the water. That kind of clumsiness takes talent, you know."

She flutters her eyelashes at me. "I'm a natural!"

"I don't understand it - I have seen you walk on shoes other people can't even stand up in and yet you managed to nearly concuss yourself walking into a board? The things are pretty hard to miss."

"Shoes are easy," she protests. "It's hard to watch where you're walking though when all your male friends have such nicely tanned bodies. It was the first time I met Antonio."

"Ohhh…" That explains it. She had a crush on Antonio for about two years before deciding he looked too much like one of those smarmy Greek waiters you see in movies. The girl has a point - I keep telling him to stop slicking his hair back. "Fair enough. Do remember that time in the playground when you told me Shane Brown fancied me and I walked into the bench?"

"I remember the blood." Her eyes roll at me. "My mum nearly killed me, she'd only just washed my shirt."

"And these days she'd probably just buy you another one. How times do change…"

"Speaking of change…" Her voice takes on a new, hesitant quality and it makes me sit up a little straighter, struggling to frown under the tightening face mask.

"Yeah?"

"Umm… do you promise not to get huffy if I say you look thin?"

Oh is that it? I relax into my chair and wave a dismissive hand. "No. I didn't think I did though."

"You do - your jeans looked loose."

I can't see how they would, those are my tight jeans… then again, they weren't all that tight today. Normally when I wear them they leave a bit of a waistband imprint in my skin but today, not so much. Hmm, maybe she has a point. I look down thoughtfully at my stomach.

"I bet it's all the surfing and swimming. If I'm not doing that I'm hiking, I must have exercised more in the past couple of weeks than I have all year, plus it means I'm not in the house snacking. That's probably it."

"You sure?" Lily looks at me doubtfully, as well she might. People around me tend to disbelieve any ready excuses I have for slimming.

Then again, it is really my own fault. I left them under the impression I had an eating disorder and that's going to make people worry.

A couple of years ago after a fairly disastrous romance with a tourist (yeah, I should have known better), I was really heart broken and under a lot of stress. Depression set in and a little and I was snappy and irritable and sleeping an awful lot and stuff. The main symptom of it for me though was that I basically lost my appetite. Food tasted like cardboard, I stopped ever feeling hungry even though by rights my body should have been giving me 'I'm starving' signals and my stomach started protesting as if it were full after all of three bites. Naturally, my weight plummeted and my refusal to eat made everyone around me think I was anorexic. There was a huge drama over it - my parents called some of my British friends out to try and talk some sense to me, doctors and psychiatrists got involved, it was a big old mess.

The reason I say it's my own fault is because I was too pissy and fucked off with the world to actually explain how I was feeling to them - if I had, they would have realised anorexia wasn't the problem. I didn't hate food, I didn't hate myself, and I wasn't trying to control anything in my life. I wasn't even trying to hide it. I may have been refusing food, but I never had the psych profile of someone with an eating disorder. It wasn't that I was opposed to eating; I had just lost my appetite along with any energy or enthusiasm for life. I think in a weird way because my brain was determined that I was heart broken and shouldn't feel good it thought everything good in my life should be avoided and blocked any signals to my body that might have encouraged me to go after such things - even an ice cream or a nice meal or whatever.

Eventually, one of the psychiatrists I spoke to managed to work this out and helped me get over it, and as I did I got my appetite back. Under confidentiality rules I made her swear not to tell my parents though - she was only allowed to confirm that I wasn't anorexic or bulimic. The problem is though that without getting the actual explanation, people will linger over the one that makes most sense to them even if they hear a denial, so most of my family and friends still believe I had one. They're still on tenterhooks waiting for a relapse to prove them right, and I understand why.

"Honestly, Lil, I'm sure." I try to look her dead in the eyes when I say it, hopefully that'll reassure her. "I've been spending so much time running around with Justin that I'm just exercising more, I doubt any more will come off."

"Justin?" Her eyes light up curiously. "I thought you said there were no men?"

Crap. That comment has successfully got her away from a mistaken belief that I'm starving myself and onto another mistaken belief that hot sex is either happening now or in my future. I wish - not with Justin, but a hot guy would be nice.

"I did and it's true. I'm not seeing anybody and I'm not seeing Justin so there are no men."

"But Justin is a man and he's new!" She counters. "Is he fit?"

"Umm…" Funnily enough, I'd never thought about it. His weird recluse thing was far more the topic of conversation than his body. Trying to be objective, I picture him in my head. "Yeah, I suppose so. His nose is kind of huge but he's got nice abs."

"And you're spending all this time with him?"

I so know where she's going with this and I will be nipping it in the bud. "He came out on his own… I think he's had some big life drama that he came to get away from, though I can't get him to confirm. He's alone and I'm alone, so after I bumped into him it made sense that we hung out and helped each pass the time. We basically just surf and hike a lot."

Boring as I tried to make it sound, she's not giving up and has latched onto her next detail. "Big life drama? Broke up with a girlfriend, maybe? What do we know?"

"Umm…" Again, I'd never really thought about it. He's a nice guy who's very funny, but I haven't really bothered to ask lots of deep and penetrating questions. Our acquaintance is very much based on proximity and convenience. "He's twenty seven, he's a banker from Memphis who owns dogs and now lives in LA. I really haven't asked for his life story."

"Well you bloody well should! How are we supposed to decipher the details and work out if he fancies you without them?"

"Oh for fuck's sake, he does not fancy me and I do not fancy him, we're both just bored and in need of something to do."

"Shagging is something to do."

"Lily!" Honestly, sometimes I do not believe the shit that comes out of her mouth. She's even worse when she's had a few. "I am not shagging the guy because I'm bored!"

"Why not? You guys are the ones always saying that tourists are fine so long as it's no strings."

"Do you shag guys just because you're bored?"

"Well not now, obviously," she says in reference to accountant boyfriend Alex, "but it's happened before. Maybe you should invite this guy up to the house with everyone else so I can meet him."

My first temptation is to refuse in protest, but then I realise that dear old Lily will just take this as confirmation that I have something to hide or that I'm embarrassed. Both those things will reinforce her theory that there's something to this. Far better I just bring him along so she can see for herself.

"Fine, will do."

"Really? Wow, I was expecting that to be harder work."

"It's really not a big deal," I shrug. "He's a guy, we're friendly, I'm not about to jump him."

"You're no fun," she pouts at me as the beauty therapist re-enters the room to check on our progress.