"Man, you're loud brother."

"I told you to turn it down precisely because I was gonna sing it loud."

"And I heard you but you were still loud, man!"

I can only take this as Tim expressing some kind of surprise that I'm capable of that volume. Mostly that's because that kind of volume is at the upper end of my ability and it's a stretch. If I sang like that all the time I wouldn't have a voice left. My throat would be full of nodules again and it'd trash my vocal chords. If I ever get around to doing this song live I won't be able to push it out that loud every night, but for a studio version I like it.

This is going to be the twentieth track I lay down for this album, and I have no idea how I'm going to cut it down to twelve or thirteen. I have maybe three or four songs that are going on the record whether Barry Weiss likes it or not (though he's only made encouraging noises so far so I'll take that as a good), but the rest I have no idea. Tim and I are in the zone right now. After I got back from Adora, I spent the fall and winter just chilling out. I had a long talk with my parents about everything and we mutually decided I should continue to take a break and rejuvenate, but around March I started getting itchy again. It was a good itchy though, a fired up and ready to roll itchy. The break did me a world of good, because creatively I've never felt so full of ideas.

"So you still thinking you like that first riff or you want me to try something else?" Tim asks. As ever, half the backing track is being built around this crazy beat box he did and now we're just trying to get the melody right. We have the basics but it needs tweaking.

"I don't know." I pull off my headphones for a second so I can scratch my ear. "Maybe it's not the riff itself but we just need to get some effects on it, try running it through something else. Like, maybe it kind of needs to sound more synthetic even though it ain't."

A lot of people would hear me say something like that and wonder what the hell I thought I was talking about, but Tim always gets it.

"You happy with that take or you wanna go again?"

"I think if we splice that first half of that one with the second half of the one I just did we got it."

"Cool, come on out for a sec and hear this."

Typically, within thirty seconds of me making a suggestion Tim has got a few things for me to hear. To be fair, when all you're looking for is a sound effect and he has a zillion of them programmed into this board it's easier than some requests I could make of him, but the guy knows his shit. He plays me the same riff being put through a number of different distortions and all I do is say 'maybe' or 'no' to each. It's weird though, for all the possibilities we go through more often than not we'll both say 'yes' to exactly the same thing at the same time. It has been suggested that we share a brain in the studio and I'm not entirely discounting the possibility.

I'm trying to take even more control of the songs than I have done in the past, to the point where I'm even encroaching on what's usually Tim's territory in the studio. He doesn't care, just jokes that so long as I don't get so good I put him out of a job he's not bitching. That's what I like about him; some producers can be kind of controlling and they want you to stay in your box without ever learning about their role in everything, but Tim figures that the more his artists learn from him the better the energy gets in the studio. Two minds are better than one and all.

The past year has been all about taking control back. What Dad said to me when I talked with him and Mom was that sometimes you can control everything around you so tightly and get so wound up about it that you lose control of yourself, and I think he hit the nail on the head. I was so busy and putting my fingers in so many pies without ever really taking a break - my idea of taking a break was switching from one kind of work to another. My time away showed me that there is a part of me that can just be, without having to be somewhere or achieving something all the time. Mom suggested I see a counsellor as well, but I said to her I'd rather not do that unless I absolutely had to and I thought just continuing to relax at home for a while would do the trick. I owed my grandparents some time after scaring them half to death anyway.

It's been great. I still had to keep an eye on William Rast, but Trace took over the bulk of it and we limited my input to just creative approval for the time being and turning up to the shows. I turned down a bunch of scripts (though that wasn't such a loss because there was nothing all that inspiring) and did some travelling. After Memphis we went to Hawaii and then to Switzerland for some skiing and I have never enjoyed doing nothing so much in my life. Having that break has now allowed me to get my fire and my energy back and now I feel better than ever about doing what I do because I'm back in control of myself as well as my job. I really owe Addy for the life revelation here - I almost wish I'd taken her e-mail so I could send her a note telling her how great life is right now.

I also owe her because one of the songs definitely going on the album was sort of inspired by her. It's a kind of dirty, tongue in cheek thing (that description matches her pretty well I think) about thanking somebody for the fling and it was good while it lasted. The lyrics don't exactly fit our situation, Tim and I embellished a whole lot, but in spirit I think she's in there. I kind of like that, it's my own private little nod to her since nobody else knows about her. In the end I kept that part of my visit to myself; I think I just needed to leave that entire affair on Adora where it belongs and that includes telling the story.

Writing the song was the first time I'd thought about her since I got back and it felt good. There really are no regrets, and despite what I said to her before I left I certainly haven't found myself wishing it could have been different. In fact, I'm glad it worked out this way. I never felt the need to dwell on it, and now I have been thinking of it there's nothing but memories of a good time with a cool girl.

Dare I say it… the past year has fucking rocked. Given the depressed asshole I was when I turned up on that island, I consider that a minor miracle.

"That's the one" I say at the same moment Tim says "this one." It's the same tone you've heard all over the joint - Cher on Believe, Madonna in Music - but when you put it on the track rather than the vocal it does something a little funkier.

"Great minds think alike," I reply. "So you think Keri will mind coming in and laying down some backing vocals? I just hear her on this one."

"I don't know, I think she's supposed to be doing something with Nate for some up and comer I never heard of." Tim shrugs. "But we got time; I bet I can get her for a day or two."

"If not her who else?" I ask. "I really want a female on here."

"You sure?" Tim looks at me with a raise of his eyebrow. "I think it sounds pretty tight as it is."

"No, I need a girl on here. It's a song about flirting, I want them to hear who I'm going back and forth with... that sounds kind of dirty when I say it like that."

"Boy you make everything sound dirty these days. Sure sign you need to get some."

Tim is not the only one who has ventured this opinion. For the first time in my life though, I'm happy to be single. I've been a serial monogamist since the age of about fourteen, and I'm fast approaching thirty. In the past even when I haven't been in an exclusive relationship I've been at least dating around, and for the first time ever I've actually been happy to be truly single, alone and not dating at all. It wasn't a conscious decision; I was just so focused on getting myself better that women went on the back burner. After a while I started to notice that I was still single, and then I realised I was actually okay with it.

Whatever else Tim or Trace or anybody says about it, I'm still okay to be single. It's actually made me realise how much of my life was wrapped up in being in a relationship, and how much energy it took from me. In a fucked up way, I needed a girlfriend to keep going. I was taking something from these women that I should have been getting from myself already, and that's not healthy for me or the relationship. So now I'm happy to be finding that within for the first time in a long time, and when I do start dating again it'll be purely because the girl in question is just that awesome.

Yeah. This year really has rocked.

***

"Lil, where are the pans?" I ask in frustration.

"They should be in the kitchen with the rest of the kitchen boxes, Addy."

"Well unless I've gone blind, they're not."

"Oh. Maybe we should order pizza then."

"Good idea."

It's been over a decade since I last had to move house, and I cannot say that I particularly missed the experience in the mean time. Between Lily and me there are about seventy thousand boxes to be unpacked (we're female, it can't be helped), and apparently we didn't do as good a job of labelling the boxes as we thought we did. We had this cunning plan where we would put all the boxes in their appropriate rooms before starting and then just unpack them in order of necessity, but half the stuff seems to have wound up in the wrong boxes. We did our bedrooms and the bathroom first (we figured that we can go out to dinner or find other places to hang out and chill but we cannot shower or sleep elsewhere) and even then we've found a lot of stuff missing or in the wrong boxes. All boxes and furniture was definitely accounted for when the removal van got here, however, so the fault is ours if stuff is not where it's supposed to be.

Lily enters the room from the lounge where she was trying to unpack the electrical equipment and the entertainment centre. We have a cunning but pathetically female plan wherein the guy who comes to install the Tivo is going to, ahem, advise us on how to set up the other stuff. She's been setting up the shelves and cabinets for the DVDs and music collections - that's much easier, it's just wood and screws without wires and confusing cables. The fun thing about living with a millionaire's daughter is that he does not skimp on space or on electrical goods, even if we did buy a lot of cheap furniture. He offered to buy us more expensive stuff but we said no on account of the fact that we can foresee a lot of wine being spilled on the upholstery in the near future and if something's going to get stained, it should be a cheap something.

"Lord." Lily pretends to collapse over the kitchen counter. It's a very nice kitchen, all white tiles and black marble counters. This apartment is in a brand new complex so everything still looks very shiny and new. "I hate this. Why did I tell Dad no when he offered to hire some guys to help?"

"Because we'd only have wound up rearranging everything they did anyway."

"That was it, thanks." Lily doesn't lift her head but puts her thumb up at me in recognition. It's funny - I'm hot and sweaty in my shabby sweatpants and vest top, but she's wrecking her Juicy Couture right about now. I told her she should have worn something older and less pristine. "This and I know I'm going to wake up at some stupid hour of the morning. I hate time zones."

"I've seen tons of tourists manage it, it only takes a few days," I assure her. "Just be prepared to keep some funny hours in the mean time."

"You know what, I am so glad you're here doing this with me because I think I'd be going nuts already by myself. That's a bad sign since we've been here less than a day."

"It'll be fine, Lil," I tell her as I ruffle her now slightly lank hair. "It could be worse; at least they speak English as the first language here. You could have moved to Russia or something."

"It's like the phrase 'have a nice day' is following me around. I know they're just being polite and everything but it's everywhere, it's eerie."

"Are you honestly complaining that people in the service industry are being polite to you?" I snort. "You're going to last about five minutes before they decide you're a snooty English bitch."

"No chance of that with my accent," she replies. Her Dad's originally from Newcastle and has a strong Geordie accent which has somewhat influenced hers. "You'll be the one they think is all posh and rich." Finally she lifts her head and props her face in her hand, looking at me pitifully. "How long do you think this lot'll take to unpack?"

"Fuck knows. We may have unpacked it all by the time we're ready to pack to go home."

"Fabulous."

The past year hasn't exactly worked out as I expected it to. I had a very simple plan wherein I was just going to wait it out until the next September when I could go to New York, but life as ever has a funny way of gumming up the works. Thankfully when Mike left for England (of course he nailed his interviews and won the job) I didn't have to room with Antonio, Dante moved in instead after it was decided he needed to move out from under his mother's roof before she killed him, but it wasn't the easiest of matches and there was tension. He's a messy slob who was basically too used to his mother doing everything for him, and while I eventually trained him to be a little more considerate it took some time and expletive filled arguments. Antonio has now moved into my room in my stead, and I'm praying that when I go back those boys won't have trashed my beautiful villa.

According to the plan I shouldn't be in the US this early and should actually be on the opposite coast, but Lily came up with an opportunity that was far too good to miss. Her parents pulled some strings and managed to get her an internship with a start up fashion label based in Los Angeles - her father knows one of the financial backers through some business deal or another. Since the parent company is Spanish and a couple of the team they've sent out to LA to start things up in America are Spanish, they were keen to have some bilingual people on the team and so her father dropped my name as well as Lily's. At first I wasn't interested, I'm a teacher not an office worker and my heart was set on NYC, but I'd have been stupid to turn down the salary rise. For now I've got a year's contract, so if I don't like it then I can just return to Adora no harm no foul, but if LA grows on me I may have the option to extend.

I'm excited to live with Lily, as well. As you can imagine her parents made sure we got a great apartment (though my Dad did a lot of the leg work, since property is his turf) and I can't wait for the girly bachelorette pad to take shape and for us to settle in here. Let's just hope that we finish unpacking some time this century.

"You know, I had this ridiculous idea that we were going to unpack and have enough time to go out for a celebratory drink." Lily rolls her eyes at herself.

"You may have underestimated our belongings, which seem to be breeding. I thought the clutter was supposed to get smaller not larger as we went along."

"I'm starting to wish I'd said yes to Mum when she offered to help us out. Instead I told Dad that we didn't need any workers and Mum that we could do without her and I didn't want her to have a wasted transatlantic trip."

"Well that was thick," I observe.

"Yep. That was really thick."

"Though we're in America, we should say dumb now."

"We're English."

"When in Rome…"

"We're not in Rome either."

I can't help giggling. "Ahh, so willing to integrate into local culture. They're gonna love you."

"It's LA. Local culture is supposed to be fashion and materialism and I think I shop enough to fit right in," Lily ripostes. She's not wrong, even before her family got rich she could wreak havoc with a credit card. She just used to do it in cheaper stores. "Hey, didn't you say Lover Boy lived in LA?"

Ugh. I wish she'd stop calling him that. He has a name, though I'd prefer she didn't call him by that either since I'd prefer she stopped rambling on about him full stop. "He did a year ago, couldn't speak for him now."

"We could look him up."

"NO." I say firmly. "I don't want to look him up. It was a summer fling, Lily, and it was a summer fling you weren't even involved in so why you won't let it go when I did months ago I have no bloody clue."

Lily has been desperately annoying about Justin for the past year. Don't ask me why - like I said, it's nothing to do with her - but I suppose since she lost her own boyfriend she has to live vicariously through her friends. Still, I don't know why she fixates on Justin instead of Steve who is my most recent romance and who I was involved with far more seriously and for much longer than Justin. He was a holiday rep on Playa Del Sol but when I got the opportunity to come here and he got the opportunity to relocate to one of their resorts in Greece it just seemed like the right time to call it quits. We're still in touch though; he seems to be having a ball in Athens.

"You're no fun," she pouts. "Besides, we don't know anyone here so I don't know why you're turning down friends when you've got them."

"The whole point of moving new places is that you make new friends, Lil. We'll meet a ton of people through work and through that God forsaken yoga class you're forcing me to against my will."

"You knew the deal so don't complain now. You come to yoga and I learn to surf properly so I stop embarrassing you."

"You've missed out the fact that I also have to start having pointless manicures."

"In return for me driving you around until you learn," she counters. She's got me there; I never needed to drive on Adora since everybody else did, so I never learned.

"Fine, fine," I grouch. "Now, how do we find the number for Domino's because I really need food now."

Lily pulls out the Bible - actually a pamphlet from the landlord thoughtfully advising us on numbers we'll need and how various appliances work - and starts scanning down it for directory enquiries or whatever it's called over here. I find myself oddly calm about this move. Last year I'd been putting it off and being indecisive because I didn't want to leave Adora, but now I'm out and about in the world I feel good about it. I miss the clean air and my beach, but life in a big city feels like it might throw out some surprises.

I can't wait!