Feb, 2007 9:46 p.m.
"Yesterday we got Paris out partying at Club Villa..." The TV blared as I lay in bed waiting for my husband to come home from his meeting.
"All they do is talk about the same old thing," I said aloud watching TMZ. I flipped the channel, landing on BET's Comicview. I heard the side door close and the key pad beeping followed by the rattling of keys, followed by foot steps and mumbling.
"These next couple months are gong to be tight...I'm going to be down in Louisiana...yeah!" Justin came in, phone attached to his ear, black scarf around his neck and those crazy comando boots. "Hey." He pecked my lips before walking into the bathroom continuing his conversation. I heard the shower being turned on and turned my attention back to the TV. "Yeah man we got to get together and do something...yeah." He came out of the bathroom and into the closet. "Alright man...I'll get back with you in a couple days...bye."
"How was your meeting?" I asked sitting up turning off the TV.
"It was good. They liked my idea for the show, so we’ll see what happens. How was your night with Ms. Sara?" He yelled from the closet.
"It was ok," I replied getting out of bed to use the bathroom. Justin came out and butt necked behind me.
"Are you going to take a shower with me?" he asked with a smirk.
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because." I sat on the toilet and watched him step into the shower.
"Because what?"
"Because you plus me plus shower equals sex and nappy hair." I stood up and flushed the toilet and washed my hands.
"Not necessarily?"
"Which part is the not necessarily?" I asked.
"The nappy hair part," he laughed.
Dec. 2007 6:31 p.m.
"Justin I'm not ready yet."
"Jen we're going to have to let them in sometime."
"What if they see you giving her more attention and they get jealous or try and hurt her?" I had forced Justin to keep the dogs outside because I was worried they would try to do something to Sara.
"I promise...do you trust me?" I stayed silent. "Jen! Do you trust me?"
"Yes," I said looking at the dogs behind the glass. Justin pulled the glass door back and grabbed the dogs by their collars and walked them over to Sara.
"Here’s your baby sister," Justin said and I rolled my eyes as I watched them sniff her arm and foot.
Nov. 2007 11:45 a.m.
"Check the water and make sure its not hot," I told Justin he was holding newborn Sara preparing her bath. This was his first time giving Sara her bath by himself.
"Please don't scar my grand baby," Lynn said holding her camera.
"I won't!" Justin exclaimed laying a sleeping Sara down in the bathing tub. Momma, Julia and Lynn were sitting around the island, and Trace and Kia stood next to me.
"Make sure to get her ears," I said watching closely as he bathed her.
"Yeah and don't forget her vajay-jay."
"Trace!" Everyone yelled laughing.
May 2008.
"Ladies and gentlemen please fasten your seatbelts..."
It’d been two months since I last saw Justin, and I had to come to L.A. to figure out what to do next. For some reason I felt that this trip would be very different from the last.
"You can put that box there thank you." The moving guy nodded his head.
"Jen where would you like this?" Mike asked holding a box.
"You can put it in the closet." I was at Justin’s place, trying to finish unpacking before Justin got back and my plane was leaving in two hours. Marcus advised me to move back in for the sake of my career till the end of the year and figure out what to do next. I stayed with J.C. for a couple days before going back home to Chicago to finish my album. Kia had been working from a distance and the only people I was talking to were Mike, Sara and my family. I had lost all respect for Justin, and there was nothing in this world that he could do for him to gain it back. There had been rumours about us going through a rough patch but Justin's publicist quickly shot them down by saying that he was not involved with his personal life. My publicist released a statement saying that we were very happy and the rumours were falling.
"I think that’s the last of it," I said looking in my purse for my phone.
"Alright let’s go," Mike said and I followed close behind him, dialing my mother to check on Sara.
"Looks like someone's home," Mike said. I looked up as I walked out of the garage, to see a black BMW pull up and Justin jumping out before it stopped.
"Jennifer!" I grabbed the back of Mike’s shirt using him as a shield. I really didn't want to talk to him right then. "Jennifer!"
"Back up Justin!" Mike yelled holding out his arm.
"What the hell man? Who do you think you’re talking to?"
"Man I suggest you back up..."
"Last time I checked you work for me," Justin said moving to try to get to me.
"Last time I checked you hired me to protect Jen and she doesn't want to talk to you."
"Come on man!" Tiny yelled getting out of the driver’s side.
"I'm just doing my job!" Mike yelled back helping me into our car.
"Jen...baby please talk to me!" Justin yelled as Mike shut my door and went around the driver’s side to start the car. I kept my head down, this was going to be a lot harder then I thought.
"Come on sweet pea." I picked up Sara from her car seat and walked through the garage Mike leading the way. It’d been two and half months since I'd been back and the last time I was here Justin and I had and altercation, luckily I'd been busy with my album and promoting Sex and the City.
"Oh my...Johnny didn't say you all were coming," Lynn broke my daydream. She came up and hugged me kissing my cheek. "Ah Sara look how much you've grown...can I hold her?"
"Of course," I said passing Sara to her. Mike and I stood back watching her re-bond with Sara.
"Justin is out playing golf." I nodded looking around, everything looked the same since I left. "Do you want to see daddy play some golf? Huh Sara?" I couldn't help but smile, as she bounced Sara on her hip.
"We'll...I was just going to wait here till he gets back."
"He left thirty minutes ago...Jen please, he would really love to see the both of you." Her eyes pleaded.
Mike drove the golf cart over the hill talking to Tiny on the phone a few minutes later another cart came into view, Tiny sitting behind the wheel.
"Hey man," Mike said pulling up next to the other cart.
"Long time no see, hey Jen," Tiny said getting out.
"Hey babe," I said as he kissed my cheek.
"Where's Justin?" Mike asked turning the cart off. Tiny pointed over the green where Justin was putting. When I saw him all the memories of what happened months ago came back. He was bending over picking up the ball from the hole.
"Hey J!" Mike waved his hand, Justin stood up trying to make out who we were.
"You’re going to have to face him sometime Jen," Tiny said helping me out the cart, I moved Sara to my left hip and held on to Tiny’s hand as he lead me down the hill. Justin just stood there looking at us. "Hey man look who I found in the bunker."
Justin and I stood there looking at each other. I didn't want to admit it but he looked good...damn good white golf shoes, black slacks black and white striped polo shirt.
"It's good to see you." He was first to speak. I smiled back. "She’s gotten so big." He reached over to touch Sara's tiny hand but she quickly snatched it back turning her head in the crook of my neck. My heart sunk when I saw the look in his eyes of hurt.
"It was a long plane ride," I explained hoping it would make it better.
"Looks like we have company," Tiny interrupted we both turned to see paparazzi snapping away.
"We’re going to let you finish your game..." I was feeling really uncomfortable and I knew Justin could tell.
"I’m finished," he said looking at Sara then Tiny. "She doesn't remember me dose she?" I watched Tiny walk over to the hill. I looked down at Sara playing with her bare foot. "Do you remember me Jen?"
"I remember what you did," I snapped back. We stood there looking at each other for couple minutes. I was taken off guard when he invaded my personal space. I looked down at my feet pulling on my long blue dress trying not to look in his eyes. He wrapped his arm around my waist he was so close I felt his breath on my cheek.
"I like this new cut...it’s sexy." I recently cut my hair in a cute bob for the premiere. I started to take a step back but he held on tighter. "The paparazzi hasn't seen me with my family in two and half months. I think now is a good time to show them how much I've missed my wife." He leaned in to kiss me but I turned my head slightly that he kissed the corner of my mouth, from the paps angle it looked like a normal kiss.
"Justin, I need some more time...can we talk about this later?" He nodded taking my hand in his.
I was in Sara's nursery changing her diaper when Justin walked in sitting in the rocking chair next to the window. The only noise that could be heard was Sara's laughing and gurgling.
"Are you going to start talking to me now?" Justin asked.
'Silent' I'd been avoiding Justin all day since we got home from the golf course. When he would come into a room I would act like he wasn't there or leave. I didn't think he really knew how much he hurt me.
"Have you talked to Kia?" He asked taking a deep breath in.
"You ready to go Sara?" I smiled picking up a clean Sara.
Later in the day 6:35p.m.
"Sara baby why are you giving mommy such a hard time??" For the past week Sara had been having a hard time being separated from me, where ever we went if I wasn’t in her sight she flipped out. And right now she was going through one of those fits.
"Did you try giving her a bottle?" Lynn asked looking in the oven.
"Yeah, I don't know...she's being a diva right now." We both laughed when Justin came into the kitchen.
"What's so funny?"
"Your daughter is giving your wife a hard time," Lynn said smiling.
"Can I see her?" He asked sitting in the stool next to me holding out his hands. Lynn was watching me closely and I didn't want to object in front of her, so I passed Sara to him.
"You giving momma a hard time Munchkin...huh?" Justin rubbed Sara's back, her wails turned into whimpers as she calmed down. "I missed you so much."
"See all she needed was her daddy," Lynn said. Sara laid her head on his shoulder for the first time in two months and I'm not going to lie, a part of me felt jealous I didn't want her to bond with him, I wanted him to feel as much pain as I was feeling. The door bell rang pulling me from my thoughts.
"I'll get it," Justin said getting off of the stool when he was out of sight Lynn came up to me pulling me into a hug.
"You don't know how much he missed his girls."
"Ma did you make enough food looks like we have company!" Justin said coming into the kitchen Trace behind him followed by J.C. and I felt my stomach tighten.
"I haven't seen you in forever," Lynn said coming around the island to hug J.C.
"What about me?" Trace asked.
"Boy I saw you yesterday." Everyone in the room laughed.
"It's good to see you too," J.C. said looking at me as he hugged Lynn. "Jennifer you’re looking beautiful as always." I looked down at myself I had on a black wife beater and Grey jogging pants.
"Thank you." He came over to me pecked my cheek and hugged me.
"We need to talk," he whispered in my ear.
"So what brings you by Jayce?" Justin asked interrupting our hug.
"Nothing. I just wanted to see how Jennifer and Sara are doing before I start the show," he said looking at me. I could tell that Justin wasn't pleased with fact that J.C. was here for me.
"Why don't you guys go talk in the den so I can finish up here?" Lynn suggested.
"Are sure? I can help yo-"
"No go spend some time with your husband and guests," she said giving me the eye knowing Justin and I had a lot to talk about. I got off the stool and followed behind Justin and Trace with J.C. behind me. As we we're walking into the den I felt him pull at the waist ban of my pants. I grabbed his hand pulling him to the side.
"What the hell are you thinking coming here?"
"You’re all I think about and what happened that nigh-"
"STOP, what happened that night was a mistake."
"All we did was make out I don't no why you’re freaking out."
"Because I'm still a married woman and I would look like a hypocrite if Justin found out." The night before I left for Chicago J.C. took me out to a jazz club I did have a little drink to loosen me up but for a person who never drinks it was a bit much. I was so tipsy that J.C. had to carry me up the stairs. All I remember is waking up in his bed fully clothed next to him.
"Trust me nothing happened," he said caressing my cheek. Before I could react Justin interrupted us.
"Hey Jen the little monster has finally gone..." Justin stood there looking between the two of us.
"I'll take her to bed," I said and pulled a sleeping Sara from his arms and laid her on my shoulder. I looked up at Justin to see him staring at J.C.
During dinner Trace was making jokes about dinner the other day with his lady friend I could feel the tension between J.C. and Justin I don't know what was said after I left but I know it wasn't good.
"Justin, Jen I’m gone!" Lynn yelled from the side door, I finished fluffing the pillows on the couch before seeing her go. "Paul and I are going on a little vacation so I will be back on Monday."
Justin and I said our goodbyes and headed into the den. Justin grabbed my wrist pulling me down in his lap on the couch. Trace sat in the chair next to the couch a few minutes later J.C. came in and sat in the chair diagonal from us.
"What do you guys want to watch?" Trace asked flipping through the Showtime movie channel.
"Something funny," I suggested. Trace dimmed the lights with the remote, Justin wrapped his arm around my waist pulling me down so I laid with him behind me on the couch. I started to feel butterfly's in my stomach. This wasn't supposed to happen I should be angry with him giving him the silent treatment not physical contact. I moved his arm shoving it next to him and turned my attention back to the screen. Few minutes later I felt lips kiss my shoulder and neck.
"Justin stop," I whispered. He ran his hand under my shirt over my stomach and cupped my breast. "Justin I said stop." I raised my voice a little. Justin flopped back with a signed and looked over my shoulder at J.C.
"What the fuck are you looking at?" Justin asked harshly. Trace and I turned to Justin.
"I don't know what you’re talking about," J.C. said.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about. Eying my wife like she’s a piece of meat,” Justin snapped back.
"Justin come on man relax and watched the movie," Trace interfered. Just before Justin could say anything else I sat up and grabbed his jaw.
"Stop it you hear me! I am sick and tired of your jealous ways you say one more thing I will lay out on this floor do you understand me?" Justin's eyes were like saucers. "I said do you understand me?"
"Yes." I roughly let go of his jaw letting his head hit the back of the couch.
"Yes Ma'am," Trace said laughing. Justin sat their appalled holding his jaw. J.C. looked at me with a smile and winked.
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