CHAPTER NINETEEN.
JEN.
Grammys 2009
"Jennifer over here!"
"Jen to your left!"
The paparazzi was screaming my name on the red carpet I had to constantly blink my eyes from all the flashing.
"Where’s Justin?!"
I continued to smile when my publicist grabbed my hand and led me to the press.
"How are you?"
"I'm fine and you."
"Great, how does it feel to be nominated?"
"It's amazing, a dream come true.
"Now this is your first nomination, it’s hard to believe that it feels like you been around for a long time.
"You know what all I can say is that I’m so blessed for this opportunity to be here and hopefully for a long time."
"One last question Jen, Where's Justin?" I smiled
"He's inside already he's performing twice tonight...I think."
"Thanks for stopping by."
"Thank you."
8:00 later that night.
"Grammy award winner, I can't believe it." Justin and I were riding in the car on the way home. When pulled into the driveway.
"I'm so proud of you." He leaned in and kissed my cheek.
"Thanks." Justin used his key to open the door when there was a loud roar of cheers.
"YAY!!! WHOOOOO." Shelia, Trace, Lynn, and Charles holding a half sleep Sara were in the foyer clapping and cheering.
"Wow YAY!! AHHHH!" I laughed and raised my Grammy. Shelia was first to give me a hug, then Lynn, Trace, and then Charles.
"Congrats," he whispered in my ear.
"Thanks." Sara raised her head and reached out for me. "Hey sleeping beauty."
"Justin you were great to two performances in one show," Sheila said.
"One of them last minute too," he said looking at Charles.
"Why don't we all go into the living room find a place to put that Grammy," Lynn suggested seeing the tension between Justin and Charles.
I was in the bathroom taking of my makeup thinking about the events that happened today Grammy award winner
Jennifer Hudson I still can't believe it. My dreams had come true plus I'll be going on tour in March with the fine and sexy Robin Thicke I couldn't help but smile on that one.
"What are you smiling about?" Justin asked walking past the bathroom.
"Nothing." I folded the towel and turned the light out. "Just thinking about today." I pulled the covers back on the bed and slipped between them.
“You were really beautiful tonight," Justin said getting into bed.
"So were you, it was nice to see you there when I got off the stage."
"I was glad to be there." He wrapped his arm around my waist. I looked into his dark blue eyes; they only changed color when he was wanting something...me.
"J?"
"Hmm?"
"Turn the lights off." I ran my hands down his chest and into his boxers. J reached over me and the light off on the night stand and the one next to me. "I love you."
"I love you too." He leaned over me as I opened my legs to him as he nestled between them. I used my hands and feet to push his boxers down his hips and legs. Our lips connected and it was sparks as usual his kisses are more and more better every time. He raised my night gown up my hips to my waist.
"Mmmmm...No panties." He said between my lips. I smiled and concentrated on his lips moving to my neck. His hand massaged my stomach the moved to my left breast. As soon as he touched them it was painful.
"OW!" Justin immediately stopped.
"What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?"
"No, my cycle is coming so my breasts are a little tender."
"Oh do you want me to stop?"
"No just be gentle around the tities." I let out a laugh.
He smiled and pulled the night gown over my head. He braced him self preparing to enter me when I stopped him. "J you should used a condom I haven't refilled my pills."
"It's ok I'll pull out." He leaned in for a kiss but I turned my head.
"No I don't want to take that chance, the last thing we need right now is a baby."
He moved off of me and lay on his back looking at the ceiling.
"Jenn there’s something I need to tell you."
"Baby what is it?" I asked rubbing his chest I hope it wasn't something I did. Before he could answer Sara’s whimpers could be heard through the baby monitor.
"I'll go check on her." I got out of bed. "We can talk when I get back." He nodded his head.
Three weeks later
I ran to the bathroom for the third time this morning, I got to the toilet just in time. I leaned against the shower. Charles was right I am pregnant I took his advice and went to the doctor like he suggested after we had an incident.
Flash back
"You ready?" I asked stretching.
"Am I ready? The question is are you ready?" Charles smiled checking his watch.
"Oh I'm ready," I said looking up the hill. I was about to do a 1.5 mile for the first time.
"Ok, let’s go." Charles started right next to me. Fifteen minutes in to the run I felt a pain in my abdomen but I ignored it, I felt the pain again and stopped. "Jenn?"
"Call an ambulance." The pain at this point was unbearable.
"Congratulations you’re pregnant." I kept repeating the words doctors’ words in my head. This can’t be happening;
I looked back on the times Justin and I had been intimate trying to figure out when it happened.
"I'm not ready for another baby," I said to myself. There was a knock on the door.
"Jennifer?" I looked up and saw Charles walking into the room. "I called Justin he's on his way."
"Thanks."
"Is everything OK..."
"I'm pregnant."
"Congrats...you don't look to happy?"
"Charles I'm not ready for a baby, I'm just getting back in the game, getting ready to go on tour, I have Sara."
"And your about to become a new mom Jenn you can do this." He sat on the bed next to me and reached for my hand.
"I can't." I shook my head I was feeling so over whelmed.
"Yes you can." He rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb.
"What if I'm not a good mother..." I burst into tears.
"Jenn take a deep breath and repeat after me 'I'm a good mother and I can do this.' " I Took a deep breath and repeated the words after doing it a couple of times I felt a lot better.
"I'm really glad you here." I caressed the side of his face and played with his ear. He grabbed my hand kissing the back of it.
"Me too." We sat there in silence looking at each other. I was so glad to have him as a friend he was caring, kind, always think about other people then himself.
"I'm not scared of lions, tigers, and bears..." Charles began singing.
"Boy shut up." I said laughing. "You’re so crazy."
"Jenn you OK, you better get ready you have rehearsals," Shelia yelled through the door.
"Yeah OK, I'll be out in a minute," I said getting up off the floor flushing the toilet and opening the door.
"Justin’s on the phone." Shelia held out the phone to me.
"Hey baby," he calls at least three times a day just to check up on me..
"How is my baby boy?" He's convinced it’s a boy.
"The baby is fine," I said laughing
March 2009
"UNO! I screamed Shelia and I were playing UNO lounging around the house.
"I know you don't have to tell the world,” she said shuffling the cards.
"Let’s play again." I wanted to beat her one last time.
"Why so you can beat me again?"
"Well yeah." I laughed and picked up my cards from the table. The front door slammed and keys rattled.
"Jennifer!?" Justin yelled.
"In the kitchen!" Sheila and I were really into the game I didn't see him come into the room.
"What y’all doing?"
"Beating Jen at UNO" Shelia picked up two cards from the deck and sat one down in the middle pile. Justin pulled a chair up and kissed my cheek.
"Where's Diva?" Justin watched us play the game.
"With your mom UNO!" I laughed laying all my cards in the pile. "You owe mama a new pair of shoes honey."
"I guess I'll see you tomorrow remember next week is a busy week so get some rest,” Shelia said, putting the cards in the box.
"What is she doing next week?" Justin asked getting nosey.
"Well she has two photo shoots, Ellen, Idol and a couple of phone interviews and rehearsals for the tour." I went to the fridge to get something to eat I had the munchies.
"Jen don't you think that’s a bit much."
"Justin we've had this conversation before." I popped a grape in my mouth.
"Jen I will see you tomorrow, goodnight Justin." Sheila hurried out the door not wanting to get in the middle
Justin waited till he heard the door close before turning to me.
"Jen I wish you would slow down it's to..."
"JUSTIN STOP!" I put the grapes back in the fridge and slammed the door. "I'm not slowing down I’ll be fine." I went up stairs and turned down the bed when Justin came in.
"I'm not telling you to stop just split next week up."
"I can't were promoting the tour you know this, I’m not the only one who was busy while pregnant Christina was on tour, Brandy they all did it J.Lo did it with twins." I said throwing the pillow against the head board.
"You’re not like them." I stopped what I was doing and stared at him.
"What are you trying to say Justin?"
"I didn't mean it like that you’re in a different league then them." I stared at him waiting for him to try and get himself out of this hole.
"They’re pop stars....they...they."
"They’re beautiful and small right."
"You’re putting words in my mouth."
"Why don't you go in the other room and figure the words you just said to me." I said throwing the pillow at him.
April 2009
"So do you know what this meeting is about?" I asked looking straight ahead at the road.
"No." Justin shook his head turning on the left turn signal. He'd been acting weird the past couple days. When he was like this I knew he was hiding something. The next morning after I threw Justin out of our bedroom I apologized; I over-reacted he apologized as well, hormones can’t help it. We had just left from my doctor’s appointment Shelia found a practice that many celebrities use to keep my pregnancy private till we want the world to know. I opened the brown envelope and looked at the sonogram pictures and couldn't help but smile. I can't believe in a human being growing inside me. Justin looked down at the pictures and laughed.
"He's going to be a basketball player if not that definitely a golfer."
"Why are you so sure it’s a boy?" I asked putting the pictures back
"Cause I just know."
"We'll we will know in a month." Justin pulled up to Johnny’s condo and parked the car. J got out and opened the door for me and laced our fingers together leading us to the front door. The door opened before Justin could knock.
"Hey you made it come on in." Johnny stepped to the side letting us in.
"So what is this all about?" Justin asked, Johnny looked down at our hands. Johnny led us to the dining room Marcus and Charles were sitting at the table.
"Does it have to do with Sara?" I was curious what was so important that Marcus had to be here to. "Charles what are you doing here?"
"No it’s about you guys and your baby on the way." Marcus said looking between Justin and me.
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