Justin's POV:
Okay, so I know that I shouldn't have danced with that Blond girl like that, but part of me really wanted to see how Lena would react to that. I know that I shouldn't have done that, but I got me reaction. Unfortunately Lena's been kind of distance since that night and that was a week ago. Even after I pulled her into the bathroom. She's really quiet and while she still lets me share a bed with her, when I go to touch her or kiss her she flinches away. I know that I'm idiot. I have to find a way to fix this. I'm watching her sit in the chairs watching us do sound check. I got it. I know what to do. "Hey guys, I need to talk to you about something...."
I walked into the dressing room to see Lena sitting on the couch just staring at the TV. I walked over and sat down beside her, making sure not to get to close to her.
"Hey."
"Hi."
"Can I talk to you?"
"Sure." She said, still not looking away.
"Can you look at me?"
"Yeah." She said, pulling her eyes off the TV that she wasn't even watching.
"I don't want you to watch the show tonight."
"Okay."
"One of the girls that helps us change our clothes during the show is sick and we were wondering if you could help us out."
"Sure."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah no problem."
"Thanks we really appreciate it. I love you Lena."
"Me too." She whispered, before turning back to stare blankly at the TV.
"I'm sorry." I whispered.
"What?"
"I'm sorry."
"What for?"
"For what happened last week."
"I forgot all about it."
"No you haven't."
"How would you know?"
"Because I haven't been able to kiss you in a week. I can't touch you without you acting like I have the plague and I haven't heard you tell me you love me in a week. It's killing me." I said softly before standing.
"I just told you I loved you."
"No Hallena you didn't.... You said me too when I told you I love you. You haven't said those three words since the night in the club." I said, before walking out.
I know that I'm an idiot, but this is really killing me. She can't stand my touch, she won't tell me she loves me, she doesn't even want to talk to me. I guess this is what I deserve.
Lena's POV:
I felt really bad after Justin left. He really hurt me last week and I know that he apologized for it, but it doesn't take the hurt away. I mean I saw how quickly I can be replaced. I know that acting like this way isn't right either, but I don't know what to say or do right now. The girls showed me what I was supposed to do. It's not hard. I just have to make sure the right outfit is ready at the right time.
The guys came in and changed to get ready for God Must Have Spent and Sailing. I laughed as Chris complained about having to put on the flying equipment and how it cut off his special place.
I looked up when someone called me name, it was Jc.
"What's wrong?"
"I need you to come with me." He smiled.
"What is this about?"
"You'll see soon enough." He smiled, taking my hand and leading me onto the stage.
"Jace what's going on."
"Ladies and Gentlemen I'd like to introduce you to my beautiful girlfriend, Hallena." Justin said, turning to point to where JC was leading me. "I did some thing really stupid last week and I'm hoping you don't mind if I take a minute here to beg and grovel for forgiveness."
"What's going on Justin?" I asked.
"I'm sorry about being and idiot. I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you more than anything." Justin said, taking my hand and leading me to stool that had been set up in the middle of the stage. "I want to dedicate this song to Lena." He said before the beginning notes of God Must Have Spent started.
I remembered the first time on tour when I got upset and he sang it to me. I looked at him as he stared into my eyes begging me to forgive him and to believe what he said. Can he really know much that hurt? To see how replaceable I am?
I had tears falling down my cheeks when he sang the last note. I just looked at him. I'm not just going to forgive him, we have to talk about this.
"I'm sorry. I love you." He whispered, as he hugged me. "Can you forgive me?"
"Not right now, we need to talk about this Justin. I love you, but I can't just get over it."
"Okay." He said, looking down at me with tears filling his eyes.
"I'll see you later." I said, before walking off stage.
I waited on the bus in my bunk after the show for Justin, but he never came. I woke up several hours later and crawled out. I saw him sitting at the kitchen table staring at the table. I walked up and stood beside him, he didn't even notice me there.
"Hi." I whispered.
He jumped, looked up at me, and then looked back at the table. "Hi." He whispered.
"I was waiting for you to come see me, but I guess I fell asleep."
"I didn't know you wanted me to come see you."
"I said I'll see you later."
"That doesn't mean anything. I don't want to bother you anymore."
"What do you mean bother me?"
"It's apparent that I'm bothering you, have been for a week."
"What?"
"You don't want me to touch you, when I talk to you I get one word answers, you don't tell me you love me, and when I try to fix it you dismiss me."
"I told you I love you tonight on stage."
"The first time in a week." He mumbled.
"Justin, can we please talk about this?"
"If you want."
"Will you look at me?"
He looked up at me with blood shot eyes, tears still falling from them.
"Why are you crying?" I whispered, reaching out and brushing his tears away as they fell.
"I've done everything I can think of to make this right and nothing worked, I begged for forgiveness in front of 2 million people even. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm losing you all over again."
"I'm right here."
"Are you though? You have been here for week, maybe physically but that's it. Do you know what it's like to see the person you love shut you out and give you the silent treatment pretty much for a week and not know what to do to fix it?"
"No."
"I don't know what else to do. I've said I'm sorry a million times. Tell me how to fix this, because I don't know how." He said, getting upset his voice raising until it broke off into sobs.
"I'm sorry that you feel like that Justin, but can you imagine what it felt like to see you dancing with that girl, the same way you danced with me? It was like you'd replaced me. That I meant nothing to you."
"Does this look like you mean nothing to me?" He sobbed. "I was just dancing and believe me I knew the difference between you. I didn't replace you, I was just trying to be nice and still have a good time!"
"That's not what it looked like to me."
Justin's POV:
She's never going to let this go. It's not like she wasn't dancing the same way with JC, but I let that go. I don't know what to do. Maybe I should just stop trying.
"Do you have nothing to say?" She asked.
"I give up. I'm a horrible boyfriend and the scum of the earth. You win Hallena. I'm sorry." I said, before getting up and walking to my bunk and crawling in, getting ready to sleep alone for the first time since she came back.
I curled up and pulled the blanket over my head, trying to be as quiet as possible. I felt the mattress move as Lena crawled in behind me.
"What? I told you, you win. What more do you want?"
"I don't want to win Justin."
"Well I'm done fighting."
"You're not going to fight for us?"
"I've been fighting for a week where the hell have you been? You're the one who doesn't want us."
"How can you say that Justin? How can you honestly think that I don't want us?"
"Walk a day in my shoes Lena and then ask me that question."
"What does that mean?"
"Try having a girlfriend who won't let you touch her or kiss her. Or how about every time you tell them you love them you get 'me too' as a response. I've been nothing more than a bed warmer this past week and I won't do it anymore. I've apologized a million times and it's gotten me no where so why don't you just go leave me alone."
"You would act the same way if you saw what I did!"
"Oh you mean like I saw you dry humping my best friend in front a club full of people? Yeah I was doing it with a stranger, but at least she was a stranger and not your best friend, someone you think of and look up to as a brother, but do you see me acting like you are? Do you see me throwing it in your face? No. So if you want a bed warmer tonight I suggest you go ask Jace because I'm done. When you decide what you want come see me." I said, before laying back down and pretending to go to sleep.
I laid there for what felt like hours and she never moved. Never said a word. Does she not know how much this is killing me? Does she not know how much I hate having her mad at me? Does she not know much I just want to hear her say she loves me?
"J?" She whispered.
"What?"
"You're right."
"Okay?"
"I haven't been fair to you."
"Okay."
"I'm sorry. I don't know why I always do this. I always do the same thing to you and you forgive me and I refuse to forgive you."
"Okay."
"Can you please say more than okay?"
"Why?"
"Justin please. I'm sorry. I've been unfair to you again, I know that I'm so insecure and that I shouldn't be, because you love me and you've proven that to me time and time again. I'm sorry Justin please forgive me, I love you." Lena said, scooting closer to me and wrapping her arms around me.
"I love you too."
"Please forgive me."
"Are you going to finally forgive me and let this go?"
"Yes."
"Then I forgive you, now get some sleep."
"You don't mean it. You're just saying that to get me to shut up."
"No I'm not. All I've wanted for the last week is for you to forgive me and move past this."
"Then can you at least act like this is what you want?"
"Hallena I got on stage in front of a full crowd of people and begged on my knees for you to forgive me if that isn't acting like I want this then what is?"
"You're acting like I'm a burden."
"How do you think I've felt for the past week? I'm exhausted physically and emotionally. I haven't slept for a week."
"Why?"
"Because I can't sleep knowing that you're mad at me."
"I...I didn't know that."
"I just lay awake at night and look at you. Trying to figure out how to get you to forgive me."
"Oh Justin. I'm sorry. I promise that I'm not going to do this again. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay babe."
"No it's not. You haven't slept in a week because of me."
"It's fine."
"I'm sorry J, can you please look at me?"
I rolled over onto my back allowing my head to drift to the side to look at her. I could see how much my little secret bothered her, I knew she had no idea I did that. The month she was gone the only time I slept was when the exhaustion took over and my body just shut down.
"I love you Justin, everything is going to be okay."
"I love you too."
"You need to get some sleep, come here and lay with me." She said, pulling my over to rest my head on her chest above her heart. "I love you so much."
"I know you do, I love you more than you know."
"No I do know. I know that I'm the luckiest girl in the world and I forget that a lot." She whispered, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to my lips. "I won't forget anymore."
"It's okay. Don't let it bother you, everything is fine now."
"No it's not, but it will be." She whispered, as I drifted off to sleep.
Author's Chapter Notes:
If you know it I don't own it. This is Fake! Thanks for all the comments, I'm sorry it's been so long. I hope you like this.
Chapter End Notes:
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