1 month later

Hallena’s POV:

We left for the tour a week ago; I don’t really know what to think. I just feel like I’m in the way everywhere. I just stay in my bunk most of the time, unless the guys are gone, then I go watch T.V. or play games. The only time I really see Justin, is when we’re doing our school work. I guess one of his friends from the Mickey Mouse Club is touring with us. She’s the opening act or something. He spends a lot of time with her and the guys. I met the guys a few days before but they just kinds stay away from me too. Lynn is with us this week, but next week she’s going home to do some work, then she’ll be back. I’m staying with the guys so I can keep doing my studies since the tutor stays with Justin, so do I. I’m sitting in the back playing that game Justin taught me to play. No one is here. They are all out with Brittney I think her name is, I haven’t really met her. The door opened and everyone came pouring back in the bus, coming straight back to the back.

"Hey look Lena Pena came out of her box." Chris teased.

"I’ll um, just get out of the way." I said, ending my game and shutting it off.

"Where ya going Lena Pena?" JC asked.

Apparently they think it’s cute to call me that. I hate it.

I took my game out and put it back in the case, starting for the door.

"Come on Lena Pena, stay here." Justin said, as he wrapped his arms around Brittney who has joined us on the bus.

"MY NAME IS HALLENA NOT LENA PENA!" I screamed, before walking out and climbing in my bunk, pulling the curtain.

I laid down as tears filled my eyes. I will not cry over this. It’s just a stupid nickname they gave me; I won’t let it get to me.

"What the hell is her problem?" Chris asked.

"Apparently she doesn’t like her new nickname." Justin said.

"It could just be a black thing. There is something wrong with her." Brittney said.

"What the hell does her race have to do with anything?" JC asked.

"Well I mean think about it. She acts like she’s better than us, she never wants to do anything with us."

"What does that have to do with her being black?"

"Think about it guys, she’s black and we’re all white." She said.

"She doesn’t think she’s better than us, and her being black has nothing to do with it. I can guarantee us being white has nothing to do with It, her Mom was white." Justin said.

"Fine, then she’s just a bitch."

Tears poured down my cheeks when I heard that. They have a problem with me being black. Justin never let on that he had issues with that, when we were home. I just want to go home. I curled up in the fetal position as the tears poured down my cheeks. I buried my head in my pillows and let the tears fall.

"Hallena?" Justin said softly, pulling the curtain back.

"Leave me alone."

"Talk to me Lena."

"You don’t want to talk to me. Don’t forget that I think I’m better than you cuz I’m BLACK." I sobbed.

"That’s not true and you know it. Ignore her and what she said, she’s a little dense sometimes."

"Apparently a little raciest too."

"No she’s not, just forget about whatever you just heard."

"That’s easy for you to say. They weren’t talking about you."

"Lena people talk about me all the time. People I don’t know are always criticizing me and saying shit about me. You just have to let it go."

"Yeah, those people aren’t people you have to spend most of the day with, every day."

"Your right they’re not, but you have to admit Lena, it kinda seems like you think your better than us, every time we come in you leave. You hide; you never hang out with us or anything." Justin said.

"I’m NOT good enough for you all. I’m just in the way!" I screamed, "Leave me alone." I sobbed.

"Lena, you’re not any different than we are. And you’re not in the way."

"There is a lot of difference between me and everyone else here."

"Like what?"

"As your little friend pointed out, I’m black. I have no family, I’m in foster care…"

"And you are a great person in spite of it. I know it really must have hurt to hear the stuff she said about you being black, but there is nothing wrong with your race Lena, You are a beautiful person because of everything that makes you, that includes being part African American."

"How would you know, this is the most you’ve talked to me since we left."

"I’m sorry that I’ve been ignoring you, but I’m so used to doing things this way, that I didn’t even notice the problem."

"There isn’t a problem."

"Yes, there is and I’m going to fix it. Tomorrow it’s gonna be you and me. We’ll hang out, play video games, go to the mall, whatever. You get to pick what we do okay?"

"You don’t have to do that."

"I know I want to."

"Okay."

"Is there any chance I can get you to come back in the back with us?" He asked, brushing my tears away with the back of his fingers.

"No."

"Why? You should get to know everyone, they are all pretty cool."

"Because they all call me that stupid nickname, I hate it. Plus some of them have issues with me."

"What do you mean?"

"What is a bitch?"

Justin’s POV:

"What is a bitch?" she asked.

How am I supposed to answer that question? How can I tell her what it means? She’s already upset and crying. It kills me to see her crying. It feels like my heart is breaking when I see those tears sliding down her cheeks. I don’t want to have to tell her this.

"Do you know what it means?" she asked softly.

"Yeah Lena, I know what it means."

"Why won’t you tell me then?"

"Because it’s not nice, it’s something that is going to hurt you, and I don’t want to see you hurt."

"Could you please just tell me? I’ve been called that a lot."

"Who has called you a bitch?"

"A lot of my foster parents and foster siblings, Brittney, and a few fans."

"And as many times as you’ve been called it, you don’t know what it means?" I asked.

"No, I know it’s not nice, but that’s it."

"Lena, bitch in its literal form means, female dog."

"So they think I’m a dog?" she asked softly, with more tears filling her eyes.

"I don’t know Lena, people call people bitches for some stupid reason, but you’re right, it’s not good, it’s not nice, and no one has the right to call you that."

"Then why do they?"

"I don’t know."

"She’s your friend, you should know though."

"Brit called you that, because she doesn’t know you. She doesn’t know that you don’t think you’re better than us. She doesn’t know anything about you."

"So she called me a dog?"

"Yeah, she did, but she had no right to, and I’m gonna tell her that if I hear her call you that again, she’s off this bus. Okay?" I asked.

"Yeah." She sniffled.

"Don’t cry Lena."

"I’m sorry." She whimpered, as her tears fell.

"Hey, it’s okay. Why are you sad?" I asked, pulling myself up into her bunk and closing the curtain.

"Because no one likes me here, and….. and."She sobbed.

"Shh, it’s gonna be okay. It’s not that no one likes you; it’s that no one knows you. I like you Lena. If I didn’t I wouldn’t be here with you right now." I said, pulling her into my arms.

"I… I just miss my Momma so much." She sobbed harder.

"I bet you do. I’d be lost without my Momma. I miss my mom even when she’s just at home and I’m not. I don’t even want to think about her not being here." I whispered, pulling her closer to me.

"Why did she have to die? Why did she have to leave me?"

"I don’t know, but I can tell you that she didn’t want to leave you. She didn’t want to go away and leave you here alone. She wanted to be here for you, to see you grow and be the wonderful person you are. I bet she misses you just like you miss her. She’s probably looking down at you right now and she’s probably crying too." I whispered, as I held her tight and rocked her gently." It’s okay to cry you know? And it’s okay to miss your Mom. She sounds like a strong and wonderful person, just like you. I bet she was beautiful like you too."

"I….I’m not beautiful." She sobbed.

"Yes you are LeLe. You are so beautiful when I saw you the first time at home, when I came down and you were playing video games. When I walked down those stairs and saw you sitting there, you took my breath away. You are so beautiful."

"I don’t look anything like Brittney."

"I know you don’t. She doesn’t have to big green eyes, or the silky black hair you have." I said, as I ran my fingers through her hair. "She doesn’t have your caramel skin that makes you look good enough to eat, she doesn’t have any of that. You are in a totally different class from her and I like your class better. I like you just the way you are."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I do. I think that you’re beautiful and I’m so glad I met you."

"Would you… would you um."

"What do you want me to do, say the words and I will."

"Will you sing …..for me?" she whispered, softly, as tears still fell down her cheeks.

"Sure. Do you have any requests?"

"No."

"Okay." I smiled, pulling her over to lay on my chest, kissing her head and thinking about what to sing.

Hallena’s POV:

He pulled me so my head was lying on his chest, with his arms wrapped tightly around me.

"Well it's not far down to paradise, at least it's not for me
And if the wind is right you can sail away and find tranquility
Oh, the canvas can do miracles, just you wait and see
Baby believe me

It's not far to Never-Never Land, no reason to pretend
And if the wind is right you can find a joy of innocence again
Oh, the canvas can do miracles, just you wait and see
Baby believe me

Sailing takes me away to where I've always heard it could be
Just a dream and a wind to carry me
Soon I will be free

Fantasy, it gets the best of me when I'm sailing
All caught up in a reverie
Every word is a symphony
Won't you believe me?

(Chorus)

(Interlude)

Well it's not far back to sanity, at least it's not for me
And if the wind is right you can sail away and find serenity
Oh, the canvas can do miracles, just you wait and see
Baby believe me

(Chorus)" Justin sang softly, as he rubbed my back.

"That was beautiful. Thank you."

"It’s better when the others are singing too." He laughed.

"No, it was good. Thank you. You can go back with your friends now."

"I’m okay right here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, you want me to sing some more?"

"If you want to. I just don’t want to take your time from your friends or anything."

"No, I’m fine right here with you."

"Okay, you know you don’t have to hang out with me tomorrow right?"

"I don’t have to do anything, I want to do it."

"Okay."

"Why haven’t you watched any of the shows we’ve done?"

"I don’t want to be in any ones way."

"You won’t be. Our next sound-check I’m gonna show you where you can sit and you won’t have to even worry a tiny bit about being in anyone’s way."

"Okay."

"I’m really glad you’re here."

"Me too." I whispered, as I nuzzled my head in his neck.

"Yeah....
Oh yes
Ohhh..yeah..
Can this be true?
Tell me, can this be real?
How can I put into words what I feel?
My life was complete
I thought I was whole
Why do I feel like I'm losing control?
I never thought that love could feel like this
and you've changed my world with just one kiss.
How can it be that right here with me
there's an angel?
It's a miracle...

Your love is like a river
Peaceful and deep
Your soul is like a secret
That I never could keep
When I look into your eyes
I know that it's true
God must have spent...
A little more time
On you...
(A little more time, yes he did baby)" He sang, as I closed my eyes and listened to him.

In all of creation
All things great and small
You are the one that surpasses them all
More precious than
Any diamond or pearl
They broke the mold
When you came in this world
And I'm trying hard to figure out
Just how I ever did without
The warmth of your smile
The heart of a child
That's deep inside
Leaves me purified

Your love is like a river
Peaceful and deep (and deep)
Your soul is like a secret
That I never could keep
When I look into your eyes
I know that it's true
God must of spent...
A little more time
On you...
(on you, on you, on you, you....on you, on you, on you, you..) ohhh...
(on you, on you, on you, you....on you, on you, on you, you..) yeah...

Never thought that love could feel like this
and you changed my world with just one kiss.
How can it be that right here with me
There's an angel?
It's a miracle...

Your love is like a river
Peaceful and deep (peaceful and deep)
Your soul is like a secret
That I never could keep
When I look into your eyes
I know that it's true
God must of spent...
A little more time
On you...
(on you, on you, on you, you..)
God must of spent...
A little more time
on you
(on you, on you..you....you..oooh..yeah)
A little more time
on you...ohh."