10 >> The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
Justin and Rie returned from their short but sweet trip to San Diego late in the evening the Sunday after their skydive. Rie expected for things to be a little awkward afterwards, considering their kiss, but Justin was quite the opposite. He had been deliciously pleasant the entire weekend, and his mood showed no signs of stopping when they returned to Los Angeles.
“Home sweet home,” Justin announced, pulling into his driveway.
Rie glanced over to her Jeep, sitting just a few feet away, waiting to whisk her back to her humble Sherman Oaks abode, but the thought of driving any more made her head hurt. “You mind if I hang out for a minute?” she sighed.
“Come on in,” he invited animatedly. “You can make me some dinner.”
“Uhhh… I can eat you some dinner,” she reoffered with a smile, following him out of his BMW and towards his back door.
He noted Jessica’s silver Lexus on the way inside, and commented, “Looks like Jess is here.”
“Sweet! I haven’t seen her since Halloween.”
“Honey, I’m home!” Justin shouted into the quiet house, dropping his keys onto his kitchen table.
“Justin, you have any bottled water?” Rie questioned, setting her purse on his counter.
“Yeah, there should be some in the fridge,” he answered. “Help yourself.” He continued into his living room, noting that Talis and Jessica were sprawled across each of his sofas, sound asleep. Biting his lip, he headed back into the kitchen where Rie stood, gazing into the refrigerator. He eyed her curvy frame for a moment before finally asking, “What are you doing?”
“Dude, you are seriously living the good life,” she told him, finally pulling out a bottle of Vitamin Water. “I’ve never seen a fridge so full before!”
“I have to admit that is all Talis. She’s like the ambassador of the kitchen. I just work in it from time to time.”
“Must be nice, having someone take care of you like that,” she smirked.
“I can take care of myself,” he shrugged. “My refrigerator would just be empty.”
“And that, my friend, would be where you lost me.”
“That’s fine,” he teased. “I have no place for fickle friends in my life.”
She playfully rolled her eyes as she took a long sip of water. “Where’s Jess?”
“Oh, her and Talis are asleep,” he pointed towards the other room, “so I thought we could make them some dinner.”
“How do you know they haven’t eaten?”
“Well. I don’t,” he realized. “We could make us some dinner then.”
“You really want me to cook, don’t you?”
“Contrary to what you think, everything is not about you, sweetheart.”
“Psshh. Contrary to what you think I think, I already know that everything is.” She giggled and set her bottle on the counter between them, taking off her UCLA sweatshirt. “What are we making?”
“Well,” he opened his extra large freezer and mulled over its contents. “It’s up to you, darlin’. Steak, chicken, fish, all of the above…”
“Dude, can’t we just order a pizza?” she whined. “It can even be a veggie pizza, if it’ll help.”
Justin let out a short chuckle, shaking his head. “You’re so lazy.”
“Admittedly. And I’ll start working on that tomorrow.”
“It’s fine; I don’t really feel like cooking either.”
“And I knew this.”
“And you’re a liar,” he grinned. He grabbed a menu from the drawer beside him and tossed it like a Frisbee towards Rie. He laughed when it hit her chest. “My bad.”
She glared at him jokingly and picked it up from the floor. “What do you like on your pizza?”
“I’m cool with whatever,” he shrugged.
“So I can get pineapple and ham?”
“Sure.”
“With olives?” she pressed.
“And anchovies, if you want. I’m really not picky.”
She tilted her head, trying to get a read on him, but failing miserably. “Okay, I don’t like any of that shit,” she laughed.
“I didn’t think so.”
She read through the extensive menu, noting the ‘Italian Special,’ which was comprised of pepperoni, Italian sausage, green peppers, onions, and mushrooms. “How about the Ita”.”
“The Italian Special is good,” he spoke at the same time as her, leaning against the counter.
“You knew I was gonna say that,” she narrowed her eyes.
“I swear, I didn’t.”
“Uh huh,” she continued to eye him. “Would they be okay with that?”
“Oh, no,” he realized Jess and Talis were in the house with them. “They like that thin crust goat cheese thing. I can’t remember the name of it.”
Rie made a face at the thought, but found it on the menu for him. “All right, so get one of those, and then one of ours, and we’re good?”
“We’re good.” He turned to pick up the phone, but was hit with a bottle cap in his cheek before he knew it. “Oh, no you di-in’t,” he spun back to her, suddenly transforming into his Shelby Hastings character from SNL.
“I think I did.”
“Girrrl,” he started looking around the kitchen, “you just wait ‘til I find somethin’ to throw.”
Rie arrogantly crossed her arms over her chest and looked him in the eye. “Waiting.”
He discreetly opened the recycle bin he had allocated for plastic and chucked an empty Smart Water bottle in her direction, hitting her in the forehead. “Now.”
Her mouth dropped in shock. “Did you just throw garbage at me?”
“Technically… yes,” he nodded.
“You just threw garbage at me,” she shouted.
“You told me to do it!”
“I hope you know that I’m now gonna have to kick your ass,” she stated factually, quickly downing the rest of her Vitamin Water.
He instantly ducked when he saw that she was throwing the bottle in his direction, but stood up just in time to get hit in the mouth by several grapes. “You are not throwing food in my house,” he laughed, trying to dodge them.
“You threw garbage at me!”
“And I’ll do it again if you don’t quit!”
She didn’t quit. In fact, she picked up a couple of oranges and apples to get in the mix, knocking him in the head a few times. “Now see, you should think before you decide to throw a menu around.”
He pulled a bowl from one of his cabinets, blocking his head with it while she continued to throw his fruit. He safely made it over to his freezer, obviously filling the bowl with ice cubes.
“Justin, what are you doing,” she questioned warily.
“Oh, I’m getting your ass back,” he nodded.
Seeing the bowlful of ice, she slowly backed away from his approach. “Justin, if you even think about it…”
“I’ve already thought about it,” he chided, moving towards her. He followed her around the floating counter of his kitchen several times, them watching one another like hawks. They couldn’t contain the smiles on their faces in the heat of their little battle, but it was getting serious.
“Okay,” she conceded. “I’m sorry.”
“I don’t care,” he grinned. He made a move towards her, but lost his footing and fell to the floor before he could reach her, some of the ice splattering with him. “Ouch,” he chuckled, kicking off his flip-flops.
“Are you okay?” she crept around the counter to see him sitting there.
“Yeah,” he sighed.
She began picking up the cubes near her feet, falling right into his trap. He quickly grabbed her ankle, and she went crashing to the floor with him with a shriek. “Justin!” He had no mercy, and started shoving ice cubes down her shirt, laughing loudly when she started screaming. “Stooopppp!” she cried, trying to grab his hands. She was contorted in such a way that they were pretty much on top of each other, but he refused to stop. “It’s cold, it’s cold!” she shouted. “Please stop!”
“Say you’re sorry,” he laughed over her.
“Okay!” she squealed, as he threw another few ice cubes down her long-sleeved t-shirt, keeping her arms pinned behind her. “I surrender!”
“That wasn’t a ‘sorry,’” he denied her. “Say it!”
“Yo!” Jessica finally yelled loud enough to get their attention. “What’s goin’ on here?”
Justin and Rie immediately sobered up, standing from the floor and kicking ice cubes and grapes out of the way. “Hey,” Justin smiled uneasily.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” Rie added with a wave.
Talis trailed in a few seconds later, blanket wrapped around her shoulders, yawning tiredly. She glanced at everyone in the room and greeted them, “Hey.”
“Umm, Rie, I don’t know if you’ve ever officially met Talis?” Justin offered. “Talis, this is Rie.”
The two of them smiled in one another’s direction while Jess gazed at Justin. “What are you guys up to?” she chuckled awkwardly.
“Just goofing around,” he shrugged, leaning into his counter again. “How was your weekend?”
“It was good,” she decided. “I just hung out here with Talis a little, did a little gossiping, a little soul-searching.”
“Sounds intense,” he laughed.
“It was,” Talis chimed in. “How was your trip, Jus?”
“It was great.”
“It was amazing,” Rie proclaimed excitedly. “Justin took me skydiving.”
Jess and Talis stared at her, as they didn’t realize that Justin had taken her with him to San Diego. The only information he’d given was that he was leaving. “Umm, wow,” Jess eventually piped up. “That sounds fantastic.”
“It really was. I can’t imagine where I’d be if he hadn’t…”
Justin was gazing at Rie as he nodded. “She really needed it.”
“Oh god, Rie” Jess finally realized, “I was so sorry to hear about your mom.”
“Thanks. I’m, umm… I’m okay,” she sighed. “Justin is definitely helping with that.”
“Oh, Justin wouldn’t have it any other way,” Talis replied sarcastically, causing everyone to look at her.
“So we were gonna order some pizza,” Justin interrupted, clearing his throat. “You guys want in?”
“Wait, so you’re staying for dinner?” Talis directed to Rie.
“Umm. Actually,” Rie turned to Justin, “I think I’m gonna go.”
“Aww, why are you leaving?”
“Talis,” Jess called her out. “Chill.”
Justin glared at the two of them, and then pulled Rie towards the back door by her hand. “You don’t have to go, you know.”
“I really think I should,” she tried to laugh. “Clearly, I’ve put her off by being here.”
“She doesn’t matter,” he countered quietly. “If you wanna stay, then you stay.”
She smiled, but shook her head. “Thank you for an amazing weekend, Justin, but I’m not trying to ruffle any feathers.”
He looked back to his best friend and his un-girlfriend, knowing that it must have been intimidating as hell for Rie to stand there with them. Not that she couldn’t hold her own in a room of beautiful women, but these were two women who weren’t at all used to having to share him with anyone else. He certainly didn’t want Rie feeling threatened, so he relented. “I had fun this weekend.”
She nodded quickly. “I did too.”
“What are you doing for Christmas?”
“Just hanging out with friends,” she shrugged, looking down.
“Well… if you happen to run out of them, I’ll be around,” he offered softly.
She shook away the fantasies that were starting consume her head and wrapped her arm around his neck, moving in for a quick hug and peck to the cheek. “See you later, Justin.”
“Bye, Rie.”
>>>>>>>>>>
“It was just the most amazing thing,” Justin is regaling me with the details of his recent skydive. “I mean, I’ve done it before, but I didn’t realize how emancipating it could be.”
“That’s awesome,” I grin. “I wish you had taken me with you.”
“Well I would’ve, but I wanted to do that for Rie since she was dealing with so much with her mom.”
“Oh… yeah.” I turn down Hollywood, and then turn to him as we stop at a light. It’s hard not to notice that he’s still smiling. “You’re so sweet.”
“I know, I know,” he nods with a boyish smile. “Hey, what are we going to see again?”
“’The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’,” I remind him, wondering how he could forget that when he’s been wanting to see it since the summer.
He sighs in what seems like relief, gazing out of the passenger window. “I still can’t believe Christmas is right around the corner.”
“I know,” I agree, “this year just flew by.”
“I feel like time just goes faster and faster the older we get,” he acknowledges thoughtfully, resting his head against the headrest. “It seems so unfair…”
“C’est la vie,” I retort. “Are you done with all your Christmas shopping?”
“Umm. Yeah, pretty much.”
“I just finished on Friday,” I tell him excitedly.
“What?” he says with disbelief in his tone. “I can’t believe you, Miss Perfect, didn’t have your shit done, like, back in June.”
“Shut up,” I smile. “I was so busy helping with the wedding, and then I got caught up with Ryan these last few weeks, and time just got away from me, I guess.”
“Oh yesss,” he remembers to pry, “let’s talk about Ryan.”
“Let’s not.” I chuckle, but I can feel myself getting annoyed already. “Let’s talk about Talis!”
“Let’s definitely not,” he refuses. “I don’t understand why you’re so secretive about him, Jess. If he weren’t at my house a few weeks ago, I would think you made him up.”
“Justin, that hurts.”
“Well, hey. It hurts me that you keep blocking this one part of your life from me, and I really, for the life of me, can’t figure out why.”
I make my left onto Sunset before I answer him. “I already told you why. For once, I’m going to date someone because I want to and not because you approve of him.”
“What are you talking about?” he frowns. “I’ve never told you not to date anyone.”
“Well, believe it or not, your opinion means a lot to me, and the minute you find something wrong with a guy, I start finding something wrong with him, too.”
“Okay. I appreciate that… I guess, but that’s not my fault.”
“I didn’t say it was,” I admit. “But just so that I can have a chance with this one, I can’t afford to talk about him with you.”
“I think that’s completely unfair,” he maintains, crossing his arms. “I’ve never said anything critical about any of the guys you’ve dated.”
“Yes, you have,” I counter. “And then, to top it off, you have the nerve to say I’ve never had a meaningful relationship in my life.”
“I told you I didn’t mean it.”
“Yeah, except that you did.” I turn into the parking lot at Arclight and avoid his gaze until I find a spot near the elevators. “Justin, I love you. And what you think means more to me than it probably should, but at the end of the day…” I sigh heavily, and I can’t fucking believe I’m actually on the verge of tears over this.
“Jess, I honestly think Ryan is a good guy, I just--.”
“Shhhut up!” I yell, blocking the sides of my face with my hands. “I don’t care what you think, don’t tell me anymore.”
“Jessica.”
“No. Shut up,” I demand. “Get out of the car.”
He exits the car, as directed, but meets me on the driver’s side, frowning at the whole situation. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing’s wrong with me. I just need you to understand that, as far as Ryan is concerned, you are not allowed to have an opinion. You’re not allowed to talk to me about this, because I’m not getting any younger and I need to make this work. I can’t allow you to be an excuse for not having a love life anymore.”
His features soften into a visible concession, and then a small smile. “Whatever you need, Jess.”
“Thank you.”
He reaches the elevators just a few steps ahead of me, pressing for the button as if it’s going to save him from something. We stand there silently, waiting for a chime that never comes.
“No, you know what,” he finally says after a few moments of shuffling back and forth. “I’m not gonna hold my tongue. The truth is, if you weren’t ashamed of your relationship, or too scared to feel something, you would be itching to talk to me about Ryan. You wouldn’t be able to shut up about him, or at the very least, you’d be trying to hide a smile. You have to work at love, yes, but like should be easy.
So seriously dude, if you don’t have him on your mind all the time; if you don’t wake up in the morning and want to call him before you brush your teeth; if you’re six thousand miles away and you don’t want to FedEx him something, then it’s not gonna work, no matter how I feel about him. You can fake the words, ‘I like you,’ but you can’t fake the smile in your voice when you’re on the phone. I know you’re an actor, Jess, but you cannot fake your way through a relationship, so if it’s not there, that rests squarely on your shoulders, sweetheart. Don’t you try to fucking blame it on me.”
I gaze at him caustically, as I don’t know what the hell to say to that. Lucky for me, that’s when the elevator finally decides to chime.
>>>>>>>>>>
Justin returned to his house in the Hills at sometime close to 10:00 PM, a somberness having taken over him. He and Jessica didn’t speak at all once they stepped onto those elevators, and he had no intentions of breaking the silence anytime soon.
So in his ornery mood, he trudged up to his bedroom to face his ex-future-wife, who was sitting on the balcony when he entered. “Hey,” he greeted her quietly.
She didn’t turn or anything, but instead closed her eyes. “Hey.”
He noted that she was just sitting there, gazing into the darkness, which baffled him. “What are you doing out here?”
“Just… thinking,” she sighed.
“About?”
“About stuff.” She finally looked at him, her buoyant brown eyes full of sadness. “Can you sit down?”
“Talis, what’s wrong?” he immediately recognized, taking the seat beside her.
She ran a few fingers over her forehead and then rested them over her lips, just as tears spilled onto her cheeks and dampened her hand. “I’m so, so sorry,” she started off.
I’m holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground
“Talis,” he frowned, “what’s going on?”
She paused for a moment, suspended in disbelief that she was really about to let him in on her giant secret. But she’d been holding it in for way too long now, and the longer she waited, the worse it would be. “Justin, I cheated on you.”
He blinked several times, clearly stunned by her admission, but didn’t say anything at all.
“I’m so sorry,” she repeated sadly. “I don’t know what I was thinking. It was the night before the wedding and I was being so stupid and so irrational, and I was thinking of you the entire time “ it was the freaking bartender of all people “ and I wish I could kill myself for it. We did it at my bachel--.”
“Shut up,” he stopped her, closing his eyes to take it all in.
“Justin, I am so sorry.” She was crying now. “I just “ I love you so much, and I was so scared that--.”
And I’m hearing what you say
But I just can’t make a sound
“Shut up, Talis.” He tilted his head back, trying to will away the headache that had formed in the minute he’d been sitting there. “Honestly, I don’t even know what you’re saying right now, because the world stopped when you said that you…”
“Justin--.”
“What don’t you understand about not talking?”
“I just need you to know that I’m sorry, and it meant nothing, and I want nothing more than for us to make this work. For us to be us again.”
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down
He peered at her in slight incredulity and then back to the view of Los Angeles in front of him. It was unfathomable to him that he had absolutely nothing to say, and even worse, there was nothing else that she could say to make this any better.
“Justin?” He turned his head back to her slowly, but didn’t reply. “What are you thinking?” she pressed.
You tell me that you’re sorry
Didn’t think I’d turn around and say that it’s too late to apologize
“I’m thinking… that you need to go.”
“Jus, come on.”
“I’m not in the mood to argue with you, Talis, so please, just go quietly,” he spoke calmly.
“Justin, I really am so sorry,” she began to plead. “You have to forgive me.”
It’s too late
“No, I don’t.”
It’s too late to apologize
“I know that I really fucked up,” she granted, tears crashing down her delicate face, “and I’ll do anything it takes to make this up to you. But Jus, you have to forgive me.”
“I really don’t,” he shook his head.
She removed herself from her chair and kneeled down in front of him, taking his hands and intertwining her fingers with his. “Justin, come on, this is me, baby. This is me.”
“I don’t know who you are,” he frowned, trying to stop himself from tearing up. “So I don’t care.”
I take another chance, take a fall, take a shot from you
I need you like a heart needs a beat, but it’s nothing new, yeah
“You have to forgive me,” she insisted. “I love you; you love me…”
“I did.”
“You do!” she cried. “Stop acting like you don’t.”
I loved you with a fire red, now it’s turning blue
“This is not an act, Talis. You need to go.”
“What do I have to do?” she begged. “You have to forgive me!”
“What you had to do should’ve been done two months ago,” he informed her, standing up from his seat. “It’s been two months, Talis!”
“I was scared.”
“If you were sorry,” he started calmly, “then you should’ve tried every day, for the past sixty days, to say, ‘Yo, Justin, I fucked someone else! I’m sorry!’ Because then, maybe I could consider even thinking about forgiving you,” he stumbled over his words. “Because then, maybe I would think you were actually sorry. But no, you don’t worm your way back into my fucking life and break my heart all over again two days before Christmas. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Justin, I’m sorry.” She was nearly crawling on the floor now, grasping at him as he made his way back inside the house.
And you say you’re sorry like the angel Heaven let me think was you
“Fine, Talis, don’t leave,” he relented, shaking his head.
“Justin, I promise you, I can fix this.”
But I’m afraid that it’s too late to apologize
“I’m sure you think that’s true…”
“Is it because of Rie?” she suggested. “Is that why you won’t give me another chance?”
“Talis, this has everything to do with you and what you did,” he rebutted. “Don’t bring her into this.”
“I don’t know what to do,” she sobbed. “I’m… I’m just “ I’m sorry.”
It’s too late
His heart was too heavy to forgive her, but it wasn’t cold enough to kick her out. Not when she was crawling on the ground after him. He just wasn’t that kind of cruel, no matter how much he wanted to be. “I don’t know whether you’ll take comfort in knowing this, or if it will just hurt even more, but I love you, Talis. That won’t change for quite some time, I imagine. And I’m sure, in time, that I’ll forgive you for fucking me up so badly in one fell swoop, but there’s no way in hell it will be today, or tomorrow, or anytime this year. I’m not sure it’ll even be next year,” he speaks evenly, although tears are rolling down his flushed cheeks. “But I will, eventually, because that’s just who I am. But until then, please know that your apologies don’t mean shit, and your empty ass confession only would’ve been somewhat forgivable had you not waited until I was over this to drop it on me.”
It’s too late to apologize
“Justin, I really didn’t mean to wait--.”
“Spare me, Talis. In the meantime, you have until the new year to get out of my house.” He turned back into the bedroom, closing the sliding door behind him.
Talis watched sadly, still kneeled on the ground, as he moved around his bedroom, piling his clothes on the bed. She wanted to say something, though she wasn’t quite sure what, but nothing came out but sobs. She couldn’t believe it, but it seemed that her relationship was actually… over.
I’m holding on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground
Author's Chapter Notes:
Thank you all so much for diggin' the last chapter! It really meant a lot to me. I just hope I don't disappoint! lol Let's keep the party goin', shall we? -Ash
Story Tags: interracial unrequited boyfriendj love fiancej vulnerablej
