8 >> Hate That I Love You
The following Saturday, Justin awoke, headache blaring, in the discomfort of his own bed. But aside from the pounding in his head, and the fact that it was now November, everything else seemed rather normal at first glance.
The sun was shining in that typical Los Angeles manner, his kids were sleeping peacefully at the foot of his bed, Talis was resting quietly beside him, and… that was where the record stopped.
“Talis?” he croaked out, already questioning his antics from the night before. Her back appeared bare beneath his white comforter, so he already knew he’d had sex with her, but figuring out that fact did not help his cause. “What the fuck,” he groaned.
She eventually stirred, yawning at the presence of sunlight directly in her face. “Shit. My head hurts,” she groaned as well, holding her hand over her entire face. She kicked the covers from her naked body and turned, rolling into Justin. “Good morning,” she whispered with a frown.
He turned his head and began to wipe the sleep from his eyes. “Why are you here?” he muttered.
“It’s too early for that question, Jus.”
His eyes refused to stay open, causing his remaining senses to go into overload. Which meant that the heat radiating from her body was suffocating him, the lingering smell of her perfume and their sex bathed the air so intensely that he could taste it, and the feel of her toes against his legs was almost magnetic. The love of his life had somehow transgressed into a one-night stand, and he didn’t know how to feel about it.
“I need you to go,” he finally proclaimed. “At least, out of my bed.”
“Why?” Talis frowned.
“I just do.”
“We’re back to this again?” she retorted. “You said you were over it. Why don’t you try sticking to a feeling?” She rolled her naked ass out of the bed, making sure to pet Buckley and Brennan before sauntering into the bathroom as if she owned the joint.
Was this really happening, he wondered. Was it all a dream in the first place? Did they actually get married? Halloween was the time for costumes, yes, but were they supposed to keep up the façade even after the night was over?
“Talis,” he boomed.
She returned to his room, her robe barely covering any parts of her petite frame, and she was brushing her teeth. “Yes?”
“What are you doing?”
“Last night, you told me I could come home.”
“I was drunk, Talis.”
“You told me you missed me like hell,” she reminded him. “And you kissed me and said you wanted me back home.”
“But,” he quietly cleared his throat, “I was drunk. I wasn’t in the right state of mind.”
“The state of mind where you usually tell me to fuck off?” she asked, turning back for the bathroom. “Well, thank God for that.”
He finally escaped the bed himself, throwing on a pair of sweats over his bare bottom half. He joined Talis in the bathroom, hovering over his sink and gazing into the mirror. He could still taste the cigarettes he’d pretended to smoke the night before, so he immediately picked up his motorized toothbrush and cleaned house.
Talis stood beside him, completing her morning ritual of face exfoliating and skin rejuvenation and all that jazz. It really was as though she’d never left. She even glanced over to his reflection in the mirror, smiling at him as he continued to rinse his mouth out.
Sighing in the silence, he splashed some lukewarm water over his tired face and exited the bedroom all together. “This is ridiculous,” he told himself, meandering down to his extra large kitchen.
“Gooood morning,” Trace greeted his friend from the table in the breakfast nook. “What’s ridiculous?”
Justin scratched over the back of his head, yawning again. “Hey, man.”
“Have you assessed the damage yet?” Trace questioned, referring to their term for the morning after a drunken night before.
He shook his head, grabbing a banana from the fruit bowl on his counter, and then took a seat next to his friend. “I fucked Talis last night.”
“Yeah, no shit. Y’all were loud as all hell.”
He rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. “She said I told her I wanted her to come back home.”
“Seriously?”
“That’s what she said,” Justin confirmed. “I can’t believe something like that would’ve come out of my mouth, though.”
“Me either.”
“But Talis wouldn’t make something like that up, so I mean… I guess I did?”
Trace narrowed his eyes and began rubbing the stubble that covered his cheeks. “I mean… is that what you want?”
He looked down and unpeeled his banana, breaking off a large piece and stuffing it in his mouth. “I honestly don’t know.”
“Come on man, either you do or you don’t.”
“Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t,” he revealed stoically. “Like just now. I woke up and saw her and I wanted to kick her in the face. But then I went to brush my teeth and shit and she was standing there with me, and it just felt… right.”
“For real?”
“Yeah, like, I mean it didn’t last long, but for just a slice of a moment, it felt like she belonged there.” He finished off his banana and rested his chin on the table. “Y’all have fun last night?”
“Hell yeah,” Trace grinned. “Oh, and after you left last night, we met that girl, Rie.”
“You did?” Justin piped up. “I thought she left early.”
“Nah, she was there the whole time. Jess introduced us to her “ it must’ve been around two o’clock. And we just hung out with, like, Nicole and Joel, Carrie Underwood was there, some of the Lakers… and we all got completely blitzed.”
“Sounds like fun,” he commented with a hint of jealousy.
“Shit was ridiculous,” Trace laughed. “But that chick is the coolest. She taught Jo how to finally do the Soulja Boy.”
“It’s about time,” Justin smiled. “I’m mad I missed it.”
“Hey, if I had known you were leaving with Talis, you know I would’ve stopped you.”
“It’s all right. A part of me clearly wanted it, or I wouldn’t have done it.”
“That’s true,” Trace nodded, standing up to stretch and yawn. “You want some coffee or Coke or anything?”
“I’m good,” he declined, putting his hand up. “You know what time it is?”
“About five minutes to noon.” Trace headed into the main kitchen area, refilling his mug with the java that his fiancée had previously prepared. “Oh, Rachael wanted me to tell you Jess is coming by for lunch.”
“Where’s Rachael?” Justin called back.
“She went tanning and shit.”
Justin pulled back from his table and turned to Trace. “Am I supposed to be making something for lunch then?”
“Yeah, probably.”
“Don’t worry guys, I got it covered,” Talis announced, prancing into the room, fully dressed. “Hey, Trace,” she greeted him cheerfully.
“What’s up, T?”
“You look like you enjoyed the party,” she noted with an impish grin. “Where’s JoAnna?”
“She’s upstairs, takin’ a shower.”
“Justin,” she redirected, “Jess will be here soon, so you might wanna get dressed.”
“Why the hell would I get dressed for Jess?”
“Well, she’s bringing Ryan with her,” she announced. “Trace, you might wanna change too, babe.” Talis was clearly in her all-business mode, which Justin and Trace knew there was no arguing with. As they slowly made their way towards the staircase, she made sure to ask, “Hey, what do you guys want for lunch?”
>>>>>>>>>>
“No, Ryan,” Talis is laughing, “I’m telling you, Justin is the greatest storyteller on this side of West Covina.”
“Oh yeah,” I agree, “he really is.”
“Dude, tell him that story about that time we were in… where was it?” Trace asks the table animatedly. “Was it Tuscany?”
“Oh yeahhh!” we all recall in rousing harmony.
“Tuscany was a great trip.”
“That was after Talis got that tattoo on her foot, right?”
“Yeah, and she couldn’t walk for like a week?” JoAnna chimes in.
“And Justin had to carry her everywhere?” I nod.
“Wait,” Ryan inserts with an adorable laugh, “where was this tattoo and why couldn’t you walk?”
“Okay, see, I thought I was gangsta,” Talis begins to explain, already giggling at the whole ordeal. “And I heard that Angelina Jolie got this tat on her foot and I was like, ‘Ooh, I wanna do that.’”
“What, like on the bottom?” Ryan questions.
Talis nods and kicks off her flip-flop, offering to show him the underside of her foot. “So I got this ridiculous “ and to be fair, I did it on a whim, so I didn’t realize that I was gonna be on vacation while it was healing “ so I got these music notes. Worst pain ever.”
Justin, who had yet to say anything, even though he was supposed to be telling the story, finally decides to speak. “What I didn’t understand, though,” he says, speaking over everyone, “is why would anyone get a tattoo there, you know?”
“That’s what I was gonna say!” Ryan chuckles. “Like, you would never ever see it, nor would anyone else.”
“I fully admit it was stupid!” Talis concedes. “I just have this huge crush on Angelina, and when she did it, I was like, ‘Yeahhhh, bitches.’”
“How long ago was this?”
“This was…” she thinks for a moment, “it was right around the time we got engaged, because I got the music notes for My Love,” she recalls.
“So almost two years ago,” Justin remembers with her.
“That’s funny,” Ryan replies, taking a long sip from his bottle of Virgil’s.
“Nah, but remember how the Italians would still try to get at Talis while Justin was carrying her?” Trace goes on to say. “Like at the end of the night, Justin would have her over his shoulder or some shit, and the dudes would be all flirty and like, ‘Salve, signorina.’”
“And her ass always said somethin’ back too,” Justin shakes his head. “I’m like, ‘If you don’t shut the hell up!’ Got them following us back to the hotel and shit.”
“I can’t help it if I’m a nice person,” she teasingly defends. “They just did it to get a rise out of Justin, though.”
“And they did every single time,” I tell Ryan. “Didn’t you get into a fight with someone on the last night we were there?”
“Hell yeah I did,” Justin bolsters proudly. “Dude was like all up in this area,” he signals, his hands circling his chest, “talking in Italian; and he was literally gaping at Talis.”
“Those Europeans are some brazen motherfuckers,” Ryan supplies with a nod. “I would’ve done the same thing.”
“Thank you,” Justin exclaims. “I knew I wasn’t crazy.”
“You were a little crazy,” Jo tells him matter-of-factly.
“Okay, but with good reason.”
Lunch at Justin’s house is going surprisingly well. I didn’t know all the details of what happened the night before with Justin and Talis, but I’m guessing it helped. Talis texted me super late last night and, from what I could decipher of her drunkenness, she was staying with Justin, which I was stoked about. But to see them in this setting, the way I’ve known them for so many years, has been so comforting. For a minute there, I was scared that it would never happen again but I’ve been nothing but relieved since I walked in here two hours ago.
“So do you guys have another one of your big trips planned for the holidays?” Ryan asks the table.
“Umm, for Thanksgiving,” Jo starts to answer, “Trace and I are going back to Memphis to spend it with his family. Then we’re doing Christmas in Chicago with my family.”
“Don’t you love the splitting up holidays?” he smirks.
“Yeah, our parents can’t wait to find out who ends up where,” Trace rolls his eyes, knowing all too well that his mom is never happy with the arrangement.
“Our parents were like that too,” Talis relates, “but then Justin was like, ‘Okay fuck this. All of you guys can come out here to our house every holiday.’ So that’s what they do.”
“You must not have any siblings,” Ryan recognizes.
“I have a younger sister, but Jus is an only child.”
“Plus, her sister just started college,” Justin adds, “so she goes wherever her parents go.”
“Ah, makes sense.”
“Yeah,” Trace agrees, “if you have a lot of siblings with their own families, there’s no way you’d get the whole family to fly to LA.”
“Oh, Justin could do it,” Talis counters, gazing at him lovingly. “He’s very persuasive.”
“I did, after all, convince my grandparents to get on a plane, didn’t I?” It was true. After much goading, Justin was able to get his almost-80-year-old grandparents out of Millington and on a flight to Los Angeles, for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
“Hey Jess, what are you doing for the holidays?” JoAnna directs to me.
“Umm,” I clear my throat. “Well, for Thanksgiving, I’ll be here in Marina del Ray with my parents and brother. And for Christmas, we’re going back to Colorado to visit some friends.”
“How come I didn’t know that, Jess?” Justin says, glancing at me.
“You never asked.”
There’s a brief silence at the table while we eye one another, but thankfully, Talis clears her throat and begins piling the dishes together. “Ladies, you wanna help me?”
“I got it,” Justin proclaims, standing up to take the empty pan “ that once contained chicken wraps “ from Talis.
I watch as the other two guys follow suit, clearing the glasses and plates from the table. “Now this is what I like to see,” I grin as they leave the room.
“That’s right,” Talis appends, “A good man is not afraid of the kitchen!”
“Shuddup,” Trace shouts back jokingly.
Once I hear the sound of water running and dishes clanking, I look at my girls expectantly. Nervously, actually. “So, what do you guys think?”
“Of Ryan?” JoAnna guesses. “I think he’s great!”
“He really is,” Talis concurs. “He seems really nice. And smart. He’s an east coast boy too, right?”
I nod. “He’s from Delaware.”
“I like him,” she reveals. “And he is hot.”
Jo smiles brightly and looks back at me. “Do you think this could turn into, like, a big thing?”
“Oh gosh, I don’t know,” I answer with a lowered voice. “I mean, that would be really nifty, but I’m not gonna push it. You guys know how I am.”
“Well yeah, but Jess…” Talis gives me an odd glance, but I continue to look at her, dumfounded. “We’re gonna be thirty before we know it.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I frown.
“I mean… It’s just that “ I mean, you’re not getting any younger…”
“And?”
“And… you know I want nothing more than to see you happy, Jess.”
She sounds like she feels sorry for me, and I don’t like it. “Talis, being that you walked out on your wedding, this is starting to sound a lot like one of those glass houses and stones situations.”
“I know that I fucked up,” she whispers, “you don’t have to keep pointing it out. I’m just saying that if you see any potential with Ryan, why don’t you just…pursue it, you know?”
JoAnna is looking rather uncomfortable at this point, so I do my best to dissect the tension in the air. “I will,” I nod.
The fact is, I’m not really a long-term relationship type of girl. I’m not Talis and I’ve never found my Justin, so why Talis would expect me to throw all caution to the wind and jump into a relationship with Ryan has me a little mind-fucked.
I mean, he seems like a nice guy so far, but come on. I’ve known him for a total of about two weeks. And he’s got kids. And I’d be the first woman he became seriously involved with since divorcing Reese Witherspoon. She’s not just the mother of his kids, as if that isn’t an impossible enough act to follow, but she’s kind of a big deal. As in Oscar big. I’m not sure that I have the self-esteem to pull this one off.
I’m not especially insecure or anything, but I am certainly no Talis Nixon. Overconfidence is a luxury I’ve never been able to afford, but Talis, being the perfect organism that she is, has never been able to comprehend that. And hey, why should she? The outcome of last night is pure proof that she always has and always will get what she wants.
>>>>>>>>>>
Saturday afternoon, with the three couples watching movies and vegging out on pizza and popcorn, turned into Sunday, and then Monday morning. Talis stuck around the house the entire weekend, much to Justin’s chagrin. He still hadn’t figured out whether he wanted her there or if he was just too much of a nice guy to say otherwise, but he knew his weekend would’ve gone much better without her. He was so distracted, he hadn’t interacted with anyone that wasn’t a part of his household for an entire two days.
But on Monday morning, just a few moments after 8:00 AM, his weekend officially came to a close when he was scheduled to call into Ryan Seacrest’s morning show.
“Call Sonia!” Rachael shouted, banging on the door to his bedroom, referring to his latest publicist.
He sighed heavily, and rubbed his face, internally begging for just five more minutes. “I’m up, I’m up,” he shouted.
Talis yawned loudly, squinting her eyes in his direction. “You going somewhere?”
“Interview,” he mumbled, sitting himself up. He grabbed his BlackBerry for the first time since Friday, and speed dialed Sonia Muckle.
“Hey sweetie, I was just about to call you,” she answered. “Hold on for me.”
“All right,” he managed to get out beneath a yawn, still rubbing his eyes.
When she returned after a few minutes of silence, he could hear Ryan Seacrest introducing him to the city of Los Angeles. “He’s got a charity golf tournament in Vegas going down this weekend. Ladies and gentlemen, Justin Timberlake is on the line. Justin, how are ya, buddy?”
“I’m good,” Justin attempted to smile, though the sleep in his voice was thick.
“Hey, I’m sorry to wake you up, man. I know you need all the sleep you can get.”
“Ahh, I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” he joked.
“So it’s good to hear from you, what’s goin’ on? You have a good weekend?”
“I did,” he confirmed, nodding slowly. “I umm… I kinda just lazed around the house, but it was good.”
“See now, I imagine lazing around the house for you is, like, hosting a party of about a hundred people on any given night.”
Justin laughed tiredly, but earnestly. “That’s funny, but no. No, nothing like that.”
“So do you really just sprawl out across the couch and watch Project Runway all weekend?”
“Well, I don’t do it on a regular basis, but yeah, totally. I watch “ actually, it’s SportsCenter is like my crack,” he chuckled. “So yeah, kickin’ it with a couple of beers in front of the TV…”
“With your good friend, Jessica Biel?” Ryan pressed, as he so annoyingly tended to do.
“Umm,” he laughed, trying not to reveal that he was bordering on irritated. “Yeah, we hung out for a bit.”
“Justin, how was your Halloween?” Ellen K, Ryan’s sidekick, injected into the conversation.
“It was good,” he nodded again. “I umm, went to this party for Jess, actually,” he divulged. “We all dressed up and had a really good time just hanging out.”
“Was that the party at Area?” Ryan realized.
“Uhhh. Yeah.”
“Yeah! I was there, Justin.”
“Really?” He was trying to sound interested. “You should’ve come by, said Hello.”
“Well, I would’ve, but they don’t let me up in Very VIP where you are,” he teased. “There’s regular VIP, where I am, and then there’s Very VIP, where people like Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel get to roam.”
“Oh, well next time, I’ll make sure to come down and join the little people,” Justin advised, laughing.
“We’d appreciate it, Justin.”
“He’s so modest!” he shook his head, sarcastically referring to himself.
“Hey Justin,” Ellen began to ask, “I heard you were there with some girl sitting in your lap, and you guys talked for like three hours.”
“Umm. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“No?”
“I’m pretty sure I could never hold a conversation for three hours. I’m just not that interesting,” he answered sardonically, then added a chortle. “So, I’m gonna say that one is false.”
“Ellen, where do you get this stuff?” Ryan asked her, finally noticing Justin’s exasperation.
“I just report what they say!”
“Anyway, Justin, I know you have a lot to do, so tell us about this big golf tournament you’ve got going on.”
“Oh, well it’s called the Justin Timberlake Shriners for Children Hospital Open, which is the longest name ever for a golf tournament…”
“That’s a mouthful,” Ryan agreed.
“And basically, we’re playing golf to raise money for the kids. Shriners Hospital is known for giving, you know, high-end healthcare to kids for free. And they’re only able to do that through other people’s contributions, so I felt like this was a really good cause to get behind. And I’m absolutely obsessed with golf, so…”
“That’s what I hear, man. What’s your handicap?”
“Ummm. It seesaws between a four and a ten, depending on whether I’m on tour,” he explained with a chuckle. “I’ve been playing a lot lately, so I’ve been good. I’m really excited about this weekend.”
“And it’s in Vegas all next week, right?”
“All next week, yes. Tickets are actually still available for the pro tournaments towards the end of the week.”
“Are you playing in that?” Ellen questioned.
“Umm, no. No, I’m in the celebrity pro-am, which is next Wednesday. And umm, I’ll be there, we’ve got Michael Jordan, Tony Romo, Jessica Biel, Shia LaBeouf, Hayden Panettiere, Eva Longoria, the list goes on and on,” he grinned. “It’s gonna be fun.”
“Well Justin, you know I can’t stay the whole week, but I’ll definitely come and check it out.”
“Good, I hope you do,” he nodded.
“Justin, always a pleasure, my man.”
“Same here.”
“Take care, all right?”
“I will,” he finished. “Byeeee, Elllen!”
She giggled, because that was always how he ended their conversations. “Bye, Justin!”
He ended the call with them and his publicist with a heavy sigh, staring at the time on his BlackBerry Bold. It was so early, and he had nothing to do, really. He had another interview with a Las Vegas radio station later that morning, but aside from that, he was stuck with Talis and the silence.
“I’m gonna take the dogs for a walk,” she announced to him, even though she appeared to have fallen back asleep in the time he’d done his interview.
“Are you talking in your sleep?” he asked quietly, not wanting to wake her if she was.
She let out a loud giggle. “No.”
“Are you walking them in your head?”
“I’m gonna get up in a minute,” she promised, still not moving. “You want any breakfast or anything?”
“I can make breakfast,” he assured her. “Just make sure you don’t take them past that house with the big McCain sign. They have weird cats.”
“I know.”
“And don’t let Brennan walk too close to the outlooks. She always tries to bring some tourist home with her.”
“I know.”
“And make sure Buckley doesn’t--.”
“This is not my first time,” she quipped, interrupting his list of instructions.
He held his hands up in concession. “I digress.” He grabbed his cell from the nightstand again, and headed into the bathroom, deciding that it was probably time to finally check his messages. Taking a seat on the toilet, he went through only one random hang-up before getting to a message that was received on Saturday at 4:00 a.m.
“Justin Timberlake!” It was Rie. A very loud version of her, anyway. “Justin motherfucking Timberlake. You are one ‘interesting’ fella, I’ll giveyouthat,” she slurred loudly. “’Cause see, I had this ridiculous ass idea that you were almost normal. Soooo stupid, I know, but I believed in you, sir. I believed all that shit you told me about being smarter than the rest of Hollywood, being nicer, being more commonsensical. And how you didn’t care. You said you didn’t care anymore!” she shouted. “But nope. You don’t hate her and you do care!
You loooove her. She’s your loooove, right? Ain’t no ‘notherwoman thatcan take my spot, my love,” she sang, unbearably and obnoxiously off-key. “I’m the ainanother woman, right? Oh, Justin Timberlake.” She sighed as if she were actually having some exhausting argument with him instead of his mailbox. “I already told you I didn’t trust you. Did you really have to go and prove me right? Stop lying to me, Justin! You kissed her because youwant her back, you liar!” she yelled. “So howabout you don’t call me anymore!”
He could hear the unmistakable accent of his friend, Huch, in the background, telling her it was time to go. “All right. Let’s go home, darlin’,” he was saying.
“I’m drunk,” Rie mumbled back into the phone. “And stop shaking your head at me. I know you’re shaking your head at me. Stop shaking your head at me,” she commanded. “Because I’m still in the age group where drunk moice vails are socially acceptable, so fuck you, Justin Timberl--.”
“To delete, press seven…” the voice mail lady told him.
He immediately ended the call, despite the fourteen other messages he’d yet to check, and stared out to the mirror in front of him, which reflected his bedroom. His house was impossibly quiet, and he hated and loved the silence. Another oxymoron, he thought.
He knew Rie had just been talking out of the side of her drunk ass neck, but looking back at Talis, he also knew that she had a point. No matter how much he didn’t want to acknowledge it, Talis was who he loved, and there truly wasn’t another woman that could take her spot. Not even Rie.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I take it I pissed you guys off, yes? LOL. This one is a little less threatening, I think? And one of my favorite chapters is after this one, so bear with me. Again, thank you SO much for reading!
Story Tags: interracial unrequited boyfriendj love fiancej vulnerablej
