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Reviewer: megan
Anonymous
Date: 11/04/05 - 03:43PM
Title: Intro
This sounds really good can't wait for more I has a dream like this and JC came into the picture :).
Reviewer: kelly
Anonymous
Date: 11/03/05 - 11:04PM
Title: Intro
you really need to edit this story..lots of grammatical mistakes
Reviewer: Gigi
Anonymous
Date: 11/03/05 - 10:26PM
Title: What went Wrong
Yeah other than what's been said already you have a good story here.
Reviewer: kahlymilla
Signed
Date: 11/03/05 - 08:04PM
Title: What went Wrong
Hmm...you have a very interested plot here. It involves conflict and drama (which I believe makes a story). Um but there were some mistakes. For example there were a few words missing that were needed to make some sentences complete. But that could have happened when you were typing and just didn't realize it. Um there were also some runon sentences. Like you had several extra long sentences that you could've made into shorter ones. Like put a period instead of adding a because, it'll make it easier to read
Still, I think once you edit those mistakes you'll be good to go. Continue the story and hope this helps!
Reviewer: KT
Anonymous
Date: 11/03/05 - 07:58PM
Title: What went Wrong
I like the story so far. Just one minor problem.. I'm not sure if it's the way it's worded or I'm taking it wrong..but one second you have Olivia telling Justin she's pregnant and then you say they got drunk and married on his 22nd birthday and then in August the baby comes... did she get drunk while pregnant?
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