I think it's better then a lot of stories out there, but I also think it's moving a little too fast-already by the second chapter they're having sex. Then there were a few cliche things, in my opinion. For example, the "Why happened to make you bitter" line that Justin said right off that bat. It's jumping to the point too soon.

Author's Response: That's kind of the point... hence the name "The One Nighter". But thanks for the feedback! I appreciate your honesty! :)