Reviewer: sugar magnolia
Signed
Date: 03/14/07 - 08:01PM
Title: Chapter 4
Honey, I've tried to read your story and it's impossible to follow. Did you write it as a play?
You need to separate your paragraphs and use proper capitalization, punctuation, and grammar. Quotation marks will make it easier to see who's saying what.
I'm sure it's a good story, it's just impossible to read through the jumble of words thrown together on the page.
Author's Response: thank you for telling me that. this my first story and i love advice.
