I seriously like this story and where it's going the only thing i'd suggest would be you're tenses. in the beginning you stared out in present saying things like "she takes..." and "she says..." then you changed it to past with "she ran..." ya see? fix that and you'll be good to go chica!
Reviewer: Ava
AnonymousDate: 08/24/04 - 02:53PM
Title: Chapter 1
Great start! I liked Justin's interaction with Kayla at the end. I'm hooked now so keep the updates comin' girl!
