Reviewer: tater tot
Anonymous
Date: 07/01/05 - 05:34PM
Title: Chapter 17
maybe you should try adding descriptions and detail and stuff. it's basically just dialogue
Reviewer: BlueBell
Anonymous
Date: 07/01/05 - 05:30PM
Title: Chapter 17
I think this story could really use some work. Puncuation, more dialogue, more detail and descrition, an actualy devloped plot line....Those are just some suggestions though. Also, the story really has no substance at this point...maybe you can work on that too.
