Aw, my precious Markie...you just keep getting better and better. I don't think Gem really lost anything from the first chapter. I think somehow from that introduction to now she got a little bit more mature if that makes any sense at all. She just seems really in control of everything and that makes me look at her in a more adult standpoint. I like where everything is headed. It has this mysterious sexy vibe about it like there's going to be something explosive in the future. I also wanted to commend you on this line: "All these people—the city can’t breathe" That was just amazing right there. I felt it. Continue on, hon!

Author's Response: thank you. hey, i never looked at it as gem getting more mature but since you've brought that to my attention, i agree. i mean, just because she's 16 doesn't mean she has to be a whiny little brat. yes, something unbelievable is going to happen in the future. i like how you can see the foreshadowing, lol. i'm really glad you like that line, too. sometimes when i'm here in LA that's exactly how i feel. so many people, not enough room for the air to circulate! lol. i'll continue, if you continue to read! thanks again, so much!

I'd have to say, sweets, that I like how this is starting off. I don't usually read the stories where the chick is in high school and Justin's messing with jailbait but I like Gem's style and just the way she presents everything makes you want to go ahead and read anyway. My only question is what the hell was Justin doing on a bus? LOL. That can be answered in time, though. Nice attention grabber in the intro and lice lead off at the end with him never touching her in the beginning. Leaves something for the reader to look forward to. There's that notion that it changed drastically. Let me know when you next update.

Author's Response: OMG, thank you so much! now, i definitely owe you. especially since ur not really into these type of stories. as for the bus thing... well, i don't really know what i was thinking! i just needed them to meet somewhere you'd never expect JT to be. as i continue to write we'll discover the answer to that question together. lol. i really appreciate your feedback so when i update i'll definitely let you know. thank you so much, again!

I like this. A LOT. Update soon.

Author's Response: thank u so much. i know it took a lot to click that review button but i appreciate you taking the time to do so! i'm also really glad you liked it. i'm really into this story so i'll be updating soon

It's good. Very good, actually. Definitely different from any other Jay story I've read (and I am not disclosing that information to you. haha.) I liked it a lot, though. The story, poem, song, whatever at the beginning was a bit hard to read. Maybe you could seperate it?? Just a suggestion, though. :) WMS; I want a second chapter!

Author's Response: thank u for the suggestion. i was re-reading it today and i agree that the part in the beginning is confusing, but i was hoping to throw you guys off. to suck u in with confusion. later on these introductions will play a big part in the story. also, thanks so much for the review. and don't worry i'm working on it :)