The grandfather clock ticked loudly as I sat on his couch, my legs pulled up to my chest and my chin resting on my knees, waiting for him to get home. He had told me that he was going out with his friends, but I knew better. I had been trapped in his web of lies for too long to believe anything he told me. He must think I’m stupid. How is he so blind to think that I still believe him?

I didn’t move from my position when I heard the garage door go up and the front door open. He was whistling slightly as he came into the house, turning on lights as he went. I watched the door to the living room, waiting for him to come into the room. It didn’t take long, only a few seconds, before he appeared in the doorway and saw me. He quickly replaced his surprise with an easy smile.

“Hey, Em. What are you doing here?”

I didn’t answer his question, but instead asked one of my own. “Who is she, Justin?”

His smile froze in place and his eyes flickered across the room, looking to see if he had left a clue behind that may have revealed his lies. “What are you talking about?” he finally asked.

I watched at him as he continued to avoid my eyes. “Please don’t lie to me, Justin,” I said softly, a lump rising in my throat. “I know.”

He knew me well enough to know that I wasn’t joking, that I wasn’t just trying to catch him admitting to something he didn’t do. His face fell and he quickly crossed the room in a couple long strides. He knelt in front of the couch and took my hands in his.

“Emily, please don’t be mad,” he said quietly.

I didn’t respond, but only stared at him. I had passed the point of rage long before and now I only felt a deep sense of betrayal and hurt surrounding my heart.

“It was only a one time thing,” he tried to explain. I still didn’t say anything, even though I knew what he said wasn’t true. I knew it had been going on for months. He knew I knew that too and he quickly broke under my gaze. “Okay, it was maybe a couple times more than once, but she means nothing to me.” He waited for me to say something and when I didn’t, he visibly began to sweat. “I was stupid, I know. I’m so sorry, Em.”

I couldn’t utter a word, not trusting my voice. I saw the sincerity in his eyes, I really did, but at that point, I knew that nothing could change what he had done.

Justin’s eyes pleaded with me desperately. “Please say something, Em.”

I swallowed hard, forcing the lump down in my throat. “I can’t do this anymore, Justin,” I finally said, my voice coming out in a whisper. “I can’t sit at home wondering if you’re out with her, wondering if you’re kissing her and holding her.” I pulled my hands away from his and stood up. “I think it would be best for both of us if I just left.”

Shock dawned on his eyes as he realized that I didn’t just mean that I left for the night, I meant leaving permanently. “No!” he cried out in a strangled voice. His arms wrapped around my legs, stopping me from moving and he pressed his face in my jeans. “Please, Em,” I heard him choke out in a hoarse whisper.

Tears slipped down my cheeks as I stood there. I slowly sank down to my knees so I was at his level and he lifted his head, tears shimmering in his eyes.

“You can’t leave, Em,” he said, putting his arms around me and pulling me close to him. “I’m so sorry. You have to believe me.”

“I do,” I said quietly.

“Then we can work through this,” he said, a hopeful look on his face. “We can get past this.”

I shook my head sadly. “You may be able to get past this, but I can’t. I put all my trust in you and you betrayed it. I can’t be with you, knowing that. I’ll never be able to trust you again and I can’t be in a relationship where there isn’t any trust.”

Tears were now falling down his cheeks freely. “You can’t leave,” he repeated in a heartbroken voice. “I love you, Em, I really do. Please give me another chance.”

I placed my hands on his face and smoothed my thumbs over his wet cheeks. “I can’t, Justin. I wish I could, but I can’t.”

“I love you,” he whispered again.

A large tear slid down my cheek. “I love you too, Justin. More than you’ll ever know. You’re my first true love, you’re the man who I thought I’d spend my life with and grow old with.”

“We can still do that, Em,” he said. “We can still do that. Please.”

I closed my eyes, my heart breaking in two. “No,” I whispered, shaking my head. “I can’t.”

His face broke in pain and he buried his face in my neck, sobbing loudly. I stroked his back gently as his body shook with cries, thinking about the irony of the situation, how I should be the one crying with hurt and he should be comforting me. Instead, although I ached as I listened to his heart wrenching sobs, I felt a certain peace settling over me and I knew I was doing the right thing. I held him for a few more minutes, as his cries subsided slightly and then pulled back from him. His normally composed face was a mess of tears and agony. He sniffed and tightened his arms around me.

“Please stay,” he begged. When he saw me start to shake my head, more tears fell down his cheeks and he rested his forehead against mine, whispering, “I love you,” over and over again.

I felt my will weakening, but I knew deep in my heart what I had to do. I pulled my head back from his and cupped his cheeks with my hands. “I love you, Justin. With everything I am, I love you.” I kissed him softly and then pulled away. “I need to go.”

“No.” He shook his head as his chest heaved with suppressed sobs. “You can’t.”

“Please, Justin,” I whispered, tears coming to my eyes again. “Don’t make this harder than it is already. I have to go.”

He looked into my eyes and realized the uselessness of trying to change my mind. His arms dropped from around me limply. “Please, Em,” he pleaded one more time. “Don’t leave. I need you. I love you so much.”

I slowly stood up again and stepped back from him. “I’m sorry,” I said softly. “But I really have to go.” I turned to leave, hearing him start to cry again. I looked back at him once more. “Please know that I do love you. I always have and I always will. I’ll never forget you.” I knew I was about to break down and I needed to get out of there. I kissed my fingers and placed them on top of his head gently. “Goodbye, Justin.”

Without turned to look at him again, knowing I couldn’t handle it, I left the house, hearing his loud sobs echo behind me as I closed the door with a final click.