Back in the room, Kristi was taking her shoes off. “You know, seeing you with your family tonight…it made me…something…” Kristi trailed off, but JC got the hint.
“It turned you on?” He asked in his husky voice.
“For lack of a better phrase, yes, it turned me on.” She wrapped her arms around JC. “Jayce, I want that.”
JC couldn’t believe what he was hearing. She had told him that she wasn’t sure what she wanted, but did she now? Did she want little Adam Malcolm and Bailey Paige? “What?”
“I want a family…” Kristi paused, a knot in her stomach. She hadn’t anticipated this, telling JC; she’d barely thought about it. It just came out; tonight was so perfect, why not make it better. “I want a family…with you.” Kristi said softly.
JC broke into a huge smile. The last obstacle in their relationship was overcome; they wanted the same thing. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
Kristi lay down on the bed, beckoning JC with her.
“So how many kids do you want?” JC asked, later that night.
“I don’t know! I just was finally able to tell you that I wanted at least one tonight, isn’t that enough?”
Realizing JC was pushing her, he mumbled an apology.
“Don’t worry about it…I understand you’re excited.” She kissed him quickly. “But I don’t want to have an only child…does that help?”
JC smiled. That was fine with him. “Good night Kris, I love you.”
“I love you too Jayce.”
And then it hit Kristi; she had told JC she wanted to have his kids. She felt the need to jump up screaming so everyone could hear ‘I’m not afraid of commitment! I’m in love with the best guy ever!’ She wanted to call Jess; she would be so proud.
JC knew exactly what Kristi was thinking. “Go call Jess, honey.”
“It’s so scary how you can read my mind sometimes…” Kristi rolled out of bed, grabbing JC’s t-shirt and boxers, took her cell phone, and went into the bathroom. He couldn’t help but think how good she looked wearing his clothes. JC knew she would be sitting in the bathtub, excitedly waiting to tell Jess that she had told him she wanted to have his kids. JC rolled over and stretched out. This past week had been amazing. He smiled, not believing his luck.
The phone rang. “Honey, can you get that?” Sam mumbled as he rolled over.
Jess sighed and picked up the phone, “Hello?”
“Jess, it’s me…”
“You didn’t do something stupid again, did you?”
“No…” Kristi took a deep breath. “I told JC I wanted to have a family with him.”
Jess sat bolt-right up. “Hold on a second.” She took the portable phone into the bathroom, shut the door, and sat down in the tub like Kristi. “You did?”
“Yeah…we went to his parents’ anniversary party, and I saw him with his family and his Great Aunt Margaret…”
“Who’s Margaret?”
“This old lady”I don’t remember how she’s related to JC”but he was so nice to everyone, and I could tell family was really important to him…and I know he’s going to be an amazing father.” Kristi was beaming. “It just…everything clicked tonight. I met his whole family and…I want Heather to be the Aunt, and Tyler to be the uncle…and I want to have JC’s kids…”
Jess was speechless”ok, not speechless, but close. “I’m so proud of you.”
“I’m proud of me too.”
“So you’re saying you’re going to settle down like the rest of us?”
“Not right away…I know neither of us are ready to say ‘I do’…but we’re heading in that direction…”
“Kristi…you’ve changed so much in the past few weeks…a good change…but you’re sure this is what you want? I don’t want you getting caught up in the moment and end up…”
“I want this. I want to be able to introduce myself as Kristi Chasez, one day.”
“I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks. I’m gonna go, but don’t tell anyone about this, ok? Not even Sam.”
“I promise.”
There was a knock on the door and JC poked his head in. “Are you done?”
“Bye Jess.” Kristi hung up the phone. “Now I am.”
“Good.” JC entered the bathroom and lifted the toilet seat.
“Aren’t you going to wait until I leave?”
“Why? It’s not like you’ve never seen it before…”
“True…but when we get home, you’re gonna be in trouble if you don’t put the toilet seat down, Mr.”
When JC was done, Kristi sat on the counter while JC washed his hands. “How much did you hear?”
“Nothing I didn’t already know.”
Kristi wrapped her arms around JC’s neck, pulling him closer. “And it’s all true…I want to be your wife…someday. But I’m not ready for the question tomorrow.”
“I totally understand…I’m not ready either.” JC wrapped his arms around Kristi’s waist. He kissed her. He whispered right near her mouth, “But I will tell you this”I’m excited, and…I can’t tell you how much I love you.”
JC and Kristi started kissing. She wrapped her legs around JC’s waist, leaving the counter. JC backed into the wall, his arms roaming Kristi’s back, resting on her butt.
“What do you say, soldier?” Kristi asked while JC kissed her neck. “You got enough energy?”
They made their way back to the bed, making love slowly and sweetly. Now they both really knew there was no rush; they had the rest of theirs lives. Kristi was excited just thinking about it.
Later that night, or early that morning, Kristi and JC were still lying in bed, avoiding sleep. Sleep would mean that the night would end. Kristi was fighting to keep her eyes awake while JC played with her hands.
“I was thinking…” JC started. He couldn’t bring himself to say baby names. He even thought it was crazy that he was thinking about it. “The dance studio…what do you want it to be?”
This woke Kristi up; it hadn’t occurred to her that she’d have control over the room. “Well,” It didn’t take her much time to think; she’d always dreamed about building her own studio once she had money. “One wall is covered with mirrors, with a bar attached to it. And huge curtains to pull over it in case you don’t want to see the mirrors. Another bar on the opposite wall, and I need hardwood floors, and a stereo, and chairs, and a mat.”
“That’s it?”
“What do you mean that’s it? That’s about $10,000…”
“I don’t know…I guess I thought it’d be like Broadway…”
They kissed quickly, and Kristi’s eyes fell on the clock. They had to be up in 5 hours. “Jayce, we really need to sleep.”
“Fine…you’re too good to me Kris.” Kristi thought he was too good to her.
Kristi and JC slept through the alarm the next morning, a big surprise. They were running around, looking for clothes and things they would need for the rest of the day.
Only 5 minutes late, they walked out of the elevator to see Karen and Roy.
“Good morning!” Karen greeted them cheerily.
The four settled down for breakfast, and Kristi realized how hungry she was. Once they had ordered, the conversation turned towards childhood.
“Well, I grew up in a suburb of Chicago…”
“But you’re a Sox fan?”
“Blame my parents…but I went to University of Florida and majored in Dance, minored in business.”
“That’s an odd combination.” Roy commented.
“This way, if touring didn’t work out, I could open my own dance studio.”
“That’s smart.” Karen said. She was so glad Josh had chosen Kristi; she was nice, fun, pretty, and smart.
“It was the only way my parents would let me go to Florida…although I’m glad I did.”
“Do you have any siblings?”
JC was happy he could answer this; he was worried his parents had forgotten he was there. “She has an older sister, Jess. She’s two years older than Heather.”
Their food arrived, and they enjoyed a good conversation. JC couldn’t stop smiling; his girlfriend and his parents were getting along very well.
Once the food was cleared, they all got up and headed towards the door.
“What are you two up to today?” Karen asked.
“Well, I was going to show Kristi around Baltimore and Bowie, and then I think she was going to come back here and dance a little.”
“Do you ever get tired of dancing?” Roy asked.
“Nope. And you guys are welcome to join us on our tour…”
“That’s sweet, that’d be nice, wouldn’t it Roy?”
So Karen, Roy, Kristi, and JC set out in the Chasez family car, driving around the area.
“That pizza place, that’s where we used to hang out,” JC said. “They had the hottest waitresses.” Kristi hit him playfully. “What? It’s true…”
They drove around town, looking at the different places JC used to go when he lived there, Roy’s work, Karen’s work, JC’s schools, and just enjoying greater Baltimore.
“Would you guys like to come back to the house for lunch, or do you need to go back the hotel?”
JC knew they had time, but he also knew Kristi wanted to dance, and he wouldn’t mind taking a nap. “I think we’ll head back to the hotel.”
Karen and Roy dropped Kristi and JC off at the hotel entrance. “So just call when you’re coming back!” JC said as they waved.
While Kristi was walking down to the practice room in the hotel, she realized she hadn’t been spending much time with Michelle or the other girls. She made a mental note to try harder.
Kristi opened the door and breathed deep; this was her calling. She moved to the stereo and put in her CD. She began to dance; her mind was lost and caught up in the music and movement of her body. Kristi felt free when she danced, like she was in total control, and nothing bad could happen. She knew that wasn’t completely true, though. Her junior year of high school, she had fallen and ripped a ligament in her knee. She’d had surgery, and was dancing again in six months. But one more fall, one twisted knee, and it could all be over.
JC awoke to his cell phone ringing. He saw that it was his parents and checked the clock. Do they not have lives? He thought to himself. “Hey Mum, what’s up?”
“Well, this may sound weird…but we”“ He heard a cough from the background. “Ok, I was wondering if I could watch Kristi dance.”
JC thought this was a strange request. “She’s dancing right now, but you can come and ask her.”
Kristi had always dreamed of meeting a celebrity who could sing and was a trained dancer. She wanted to choreograph a routine that incorporated traditional dance moves with pop music. She played around with a few songs, mapping out what it would look like in her head.
She didn’t notice when JC walked into the room with his parents. Karen and Roy were immediately impressed; they didn’t know much about dancing, but she looked good, running around, twirling, and jumping in what looked like black sneakers. Karen looked at JC; he was smiling goofily, watching Kristi’s every move.
When the music ended, the three clapped, scaring Kristi. “Woah, you scared me!”
“You looked really good.”
“Thanks.” She looked at JC. “Is it time to leave already?”
JC was caught up in the glow around Kristi. She was sweating, but it made no difference. She was so happy dancing. “What? Oh, no. My parents wanted to know if they could watch you dance.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s fine. I’ll do some ballet…”
“Oh, honey, you don’t have to change what you’re doing just for us.” Karen said as they sat down to watch.
“It’s no problem…you’ll see stuff like that tonight.” Kristi flopped onto the floor, changing from the black jazz sneakers into her toe shoes. She stood up, pulled off her sweat pants to reveal a black leotard. She reached into her bag and grabbed a black ballet skirt, and tied it around her waist.
“Jayce, can you put it on song number…8?”
“You don’t remember what song it is?”
“I haven’t danced to swan lake in forever…I don’t think, or this version at least, since senior year in high school.”
“How do you remember it?” Roy asked, amazed.
“It was the first dance I choreographed…kinda hard to forget.”
JC pressed play, then sat back and watched. For some reason, he felt like he was reliving part of Kristi’s past. This is what had started her choreography dream. The other girls in her dance class must have been so jealous. JC could see Kristi ignoring them all as she made them look good dancing. He smiled.
Kristi moved across the floor gracefully. Her arms arched and her toes pointed. She was spinning like it was nothing, like there was a motor in her somewhere. JC didn’t know where she got the energy to dance all of the time. He didn’t care; it made her happy, and she could go on forever in bed. He blushed when he thought this, and returned his thoughts to Kristi dancing. She did a leap, landed, and then went into a turn when it happened. It changed her whole life.
JC saw it happen in slow motion. Kristi’s leg wobbled. She tried to regain her balance, and almost succeeded for a minute. Then her leg gave out, Kristi collapsing on the floor.
“Fuck!” Kristi lay on the floor, clutching her knee. “Damnit!” Her face was pale, sweat rolling down from her temples.
JC leapt out of his chair and raced over to Kristi. His parents hung back, unsure of what to do. “Kris, what happened?”
She was fighting back tears. “Something snapped in my knee.”
“Can you walk on it?”
“I don’t think I should try.”
“Right…Mom, can you go find someone? Johnny or Ron or one of the guys…Dad, can you help me get Kristi up?”
Kristi hated that she couldn’t walk by herself. As many obstacles as she’d overcome about being independent, she still didn’t like help walking.
Kristi was sitting in a chair, her leg elevated on another, when Johnny, Ron, Justin, and Michelle rushed into the room, followed by Karen.
“What happened?” Johnny asked.
“I was dancing, and I must have landed funny or something…”
“What do you think?” Johnny asked Kristi. JC was confused, but Kristi understood.
“It’s the same knee from years ago, but I don’t know if it’s the same injury.”
Ron was taking charge. “Kristi, we’ll need to get you an MRI. Michelle, can you go call one of the alternates?” Kristi was about to protest. “It can’t hurt to have one on the alert.”
An hour later, Kristi was sitting on an examining table in the hospital, squeezing JC’s hand. The pain was lessening, but she knew this couldn’t be good.
“Hi, I’m Dr. Mathews.” For some reason, it comforted Kristi that he had the same last name as one of her favorite TV families. “We won’t have the result from your MRI until tomorrow.” He paused. “But, I think you sprained most of the ligaments.” Kristi’s eyes began to water. She knew her touring career was over after this tour. Her knee wouldn’t be strong enough for that kind of dancing.
“Can I dance tonight?” JC whipped his head at Kristi.
“What? You can’t do that!”
“I don’t want you looking like an idiot just standing there…April won’t get here in time, and she needs to rehearse.” JC saw tears running down Kristi’s face.
“You can dance…it won’t do any more damage, but it’ll hurt like hell.”
Kristi nodded. “Is there any pain killers or-“
“Kris, I won’t let you do this…”
“Jayce, I have to. My touring career is over after this tour, so why not give it everything I’ve got?”
How could she be calm at a time like this? Kristi had told JC about her previous knee injury in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. He had been very upset that she wouldn’t be able to tour again. She was optimistic that she’d be able to finish this tour, but this was Kristi’s life. Honestly, she was scared to death on the inside; she needed to be strong.
“How do you know? You might be able to dance again!”
“Mr. Chasez,” Dr. Mathews began. “It’s her decision. There’s no medical reason why she can’t dance other that it’ll hurt a lot. One more day of dancing before she starts healing won’t hurt.”
“Will I need surgery?”
“I can let you know tomorrow. But if you do, it can wait until after the tour.” Dr Mathews knew this was hard. “We have some crutches you can use. A brace won’t do anything tonight, so don’t bother. But come back here first thing tomorrow, ok?”
JC hadn’t meant to, but he stormed out of the room. He saw Johnny, Ron, Michelle, Beth, Justin, Joey, and his parents. “The doctor told her she couldn’t dance after this tour, and she’ll probably have to take a break during this tour…but she’s dancing tonight!” Kristi had followed, using her crutches. She wasn’t going to bother; he didn’t understand. Until she had met him, this was all she had. JC rounded on Michelle and Beth. “You guys can talk her out of this!”
They looked at each other, then at Kristi. Michelle said, “April will be here tomorrow. You can run rehearsals then.” JC was getting madder. Did no one care that Kristi would be in an incredible amount of pain tonight?
Kristi tapped JC on the shoulder. He turned to face her. “Jayce, don’t you understand? I have to do this…I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t…”
Realizing he wasn’t going to win, JC took several deep breaths. “I guess we should get to the venue then…”
JC was worried the whole concert; he was scared Kristi’s knee was going to give way any moment now. She winced, but made no other signs of being in pain. JC did have to hand it to her; she was a team player.
JC didn’t know this, but while Kristi wasn’t on stage, she fought back tears and elevated her knee. She knew she had to do this, but that didn’t make it any easier.
At the end of the concert, Kristi ran off stage and collapsed into a chair. Her whole body was shaking, and her knee was swelling. Yep, sprained ligaments…maybe a few are fraying. She surprised herself with how calm she felt. Despite the tears falling onto her face and the shaking of her body, she felt calm. Yes, her touring days would be over, but she was coming to terms with that; she had a life with JC to look forward to. She hoped she would be feeling this optimistic tomorrow.
JC came rushing over to her and kneeled in front of her. “How are you doing?”
“I’ve been better.” She smiled weakly.
“C’mon.” JC helped her stand up, and then picked her up. Screw the crutches. I’m taking care of my woman.
Karen and Roy were frantic backstage. “Do you need anything honey?” Karen asked.
Kristi smiled at them. “Could you ask Michelle to call my parents and Jess?”
“Of course honey!” Karen lost it. “Oh, it’s all our fault! If we hadn’t asked you to dance…”
“You didn’t remember? I was the one who chose ballet. Don’t worry about it.”
Although Kristi seemed like she had everything in control, she broke down once she was in JC’s arms, lying in bed in the hotel room. She was trying to accept it, she told him. She knew this might happen since her junior year of high school. She didn’t want the others to feel sorry for her, and there were so many other things she could do. She could open a dance studio. “You could marry me.” JC said. Kristi smiled and said, “Yes, one day, I’ll marry you. And that’s what’s keeping me from losing it completely; since I can’t tour, I’ll be in Orlando, and we won’t have to be worried about being separated.”
”Yeah, but I didn’t want it to happen like this…”
”Me neither…but it happened.” JC wiped tears off of her cheek. “And we’ll deal.”
”We’ll do better than deal.” JC knew it sounded corny, but he was trying to be positive for Kristi.
“I just can’t stand the fact that your parents are blaming themselves!” JC didn’t say anything. “And don’t you go blaming yourself!”
“You’re good at the mind reading thing…” Kristi smiled weakly. JC kissed her. He noticed how pale she looked. “You should get some sleep.”
JC knew Kristi didn’t sleep well that night, and neither did he; he kept feeling Kristi’s shoulders shake and hearing sniffles. He wrapped his arms around her, but nothing he did or said could help her. The pain was so intense…and what could JC say to make Kristi feel better about not being able to tour again? Yes, they both agreed a life together was going to make up for touring, probably be even better…but it killed him to see her like this.
The next morning, Kristi and JC met Mike and Johnny in the lobby, ready to go to the hospital. By then, Kristi’s knee had started turning black and blue. Mike had arrived with some muffins, knowing that Kristi and JC hadn’t eaten yet.
“Thanks, but I’m not hungry.”
“Kris, you’ve got to eat something…I won’t let you starve yourself.”
She grabbed a muffin and began to pick at it in the car. As much pain she was in, she couldn’t get over how amazing JC was being. Yes, Kristi admitted, he had taken this hard at first, but he realized that being mad at her for dancing last night or being mad at himself wasn’t going to solve anything. Instead, JC tried to distract her during the car ride.
“Yesterday, Chris told me that Madi asked him to have lunch with her parents when we’re in Portland…”
Kristi laughed. JC squeezed her hand. She could picture Chris freaking out.
“He was so freaked out. He told her he’d try, though, and he has to, doesn’t he?”
“I guess so…” Kristi looked out of the car window, wishing she could be on her way home from the hospital. She knew what the doctor was going to tell her. Use crutches for 1-1.5 weeks, and then you’ll need another week and a half of rest. Get it check out, and if the ligaments look fine, you’ll be all set. You can surgery after the tour to repair them, make them stronger, but I’m sorry, dancing on another tour again is out. Dr. Mathews would then say she’d have other options, like opening a dance studio or choreographing. Kristi knew all of this. She was given her warning 7 years ago, and decided she wanted a career in dancing anyways. The past 7 years have been amazing, but now Kristi would need to move on.
Kristi decided that, once she had trained April, she would go to Chicago to stay with her parents while she was on crutches. She hadn’t been for a good, long visit in years, and Kristi couldn’t deal with touring while walking with crutches. Kristi knew JC wouldn’t like this, but he would deal.
An hour later, the group was walking out of the hospital. JC and Kristi waited by the curb for Johnny and Mike to pull the car around.
Kristi knew the sooner she told him, the better. “Jayce…about the crutches thing…” He turned to look at her. “Once April is all set, I’m gonna head home while I’m on crutches.”
“What?” JC was concerned. She couldn’t take care of herself alone.
“Home, to Chicago. I’m gonna stay with my parents while I’m on crutches.”
“Stay here, with me. I’ll take care of you…”
“Jayce, I know you would…but I want to sleep in! I want to lounge around all day and watch old movies with my mother. I don’t want to be traveling the country when I can’t walk.”
JC looked hurt. “But Kris, that’s almost 10 days…”
“And we’ve been apart for 10 days before…and this time, we’ll talk every night. I promise.”
JC knew there was nothing he could do to make Kristi change her mind. “When are you leaving?”
Kristi smiled. He understood she was stubborn. “Tomorrow afternoon.”
When Kristi and JC arrived back at the venue, Michelle had started rehearsal.
“Thanks Miche…”
“What’d they say?”
“Exactly as I thought…” Michelle and JC made their way up to stage. Kristi looked at April; she wasn’t used to seeing JC dance with anyone else. She swallowed, this would be difficult. “So, April, what do you have questions on?”
April’s questions were good ones, and by the end of sound check, they had run through the show, and Kristi was confident everything would run smoothly that night.
No one went back to the hotel, so they all relaxed in the dressing rooms.
“Kristi, I have your flight information for tomorrow.” Ron said as he poked his head into the room.
“Thanks.” Ron handed some papers and left the room. Kristi looked to JC. She was sitting on the opposite side of the couch, her leg resting on his lap. “I have to call my parents.” He nodded, so Kristi pulled out her cell phone. “Hi Mom! I have my flight info for tomorrow…”
While Kristi was on the phone, JC told himself this was nothing to worry about. If he was in Kristi’s position, he would do the same thing. JC laughed at himself; she wanted to be his wife! Of course this wouldn’t hurt them in the long run!
A little while later, April knocked on the door. “Kristi, can I talk to you for a second?”
“Yeah, come on in!” April entered, looking nervous. “What’s up?”
“Well, I know you’re leaving tomorrow, and I just wanted to let you know that you shouldn’t worry about anything. I’m going to be fine…we’re going to be fine.”
“That’s really sweet, April. And I don’t have a reason to worry, but worrying is what I do!” Kristi grabbed JC’s hand. “I do however, need you to make sure this one drinks enough water.”
JC shot her a look. “I can take care of myself, thank you very much.”
April giggled. Everyone was right; they are cute.
Kristi watched the show from backstage. From what she saw, everything went well; no one from the audience could tell something was different. Kristi began thinking about how much she was going to miss touring”a bad idea. She was teary eyed when everyone exited the stage.
April came over to give her a big hug. “That was amazing!”
“You looked good out there!”
April ran off to go talk to someone else. The other dancers approached Kristi. “She’s not as good as you.” Michelle stated.
“Well, obviously! No one is as good as me!” Kristi laughed at her own joke. “You guys, take care of her, ok? And call me if you need anything…any hour, anything.”
She got up and hugged each of them. Michelle and Beth’s hugs were extra long. “I love you guys! And kick some ass!”
The guys came over. “Have a safe trip.” Lance said while she hugged him.
“Call if you need anything!” Justin said. She ruffled his hair, and moved on.
“Don’t worry, Joey. I won’t tell JC.” She smiled and hugged him.
“Thanks.”
Chris hugged her. And then hugged her again. “One from Madi.”
JC was last. They didn’t need to hug as they would be sleeping together tonight.
JC didn’t sleep well that night. While Kristi slept well, comforted by the fact that tomorrow night, she would be sleeping in Chicago, JC wasn’t. He would miss her; he didn’t want to wake up in a bed by himself. He was worried that he would cry when he said good bye. JC knew they would see each other soon, and that they would talk every night…but he couldn’t be there for her. If she was sad, he wanted to be the one to make her smile. Wrapping his arms around Kristi tighter, he sighed and tried to fall asleep.
The next morning, Kristi and JC slept through breakfast. They raced downstairs for a rehearsal, just making sure there weren’t any kinks they’d missed the previous day. Everything seemed fine, so *NSYNC headed off to an interview. JC had been dreading this moment; Kristi would be packing and leaving during the interview.
He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. “Call me when you get there.”
“I will.”
“Promise me you’ll be careful.”
“Jayce, you sound like my dad!”
“Promise?”
“Promise…and you’ll focus on things here?”
“Promise. And I’ll call you every night after the show.”
Kristi smiled. She reached into her bag and gave JC a CD and letter. “Here…Read this and…and listen to the CD when you miss me…”
“Which will be always.”
Kristi’s eyes started tearing. JC wiped some away, and kissed her softly. It’d be 10 days before she could kiss him again. She deepened the kiss, wanting her full share before leaving.
Finally, they broke apart. “I love you Jayce.”
“I love you too, Kris.”
5 hours later, Kristi was sitting in the airport, waiting for her mother. Her plane had actually gotten in early! She pulled out her cell phone to call JC. She knew she would get his voicemail, but that didn’t mean she liked it any better. “Hey, Jayce. It’s me. I’m at the airport, safe and sound. I miss you already. Wow, I’m sad…not any sadder than you because you miss me too! Anyways, break a leg tonight, call me after the show, and I love you.”
Kristi hung up, looking around for her mother. She finally saw her, hurrying over.
“Kristi!” Ruth Goslen threw her arms around her daughter. “I’ve missed you so much!”
Kristi smiled. “Me too…”
“Well, let’s go get your luggage.”
In the car, Ruth was talking about what Kristi could do while she was home. “Jess and Sam would love to see you, and I think Jeff and some of your other friends are around…”
Kristi was only half listening. She checked the clock; they’d be getting ready to start the concert.
“And tonight, Stan is working, so I thought we could watch a movie, order some pizza, just the two of us girls.”
“Sounds good Mom…” Kristi said distractedly.
“Really, Kristi…I know you’re upset about the tour and your knee, but try to act happy!”
“I am! I swear…” Kristi was, but she was missing everything that was currently in Baltimore. “A movie night sounds like just what I need.”
Kristi was sitting on the couch, her leg elevated on the coffee table. Now that she was in recovery, she had a huge brace and crutches. She and her mom were watching St. Elmo’s Fire.
“I really liked this movie more when I was younger…”
“Maybe because now you realize that this isn’t exactly what life is once you graduate…”
“Just like all of those TV shows…” Ruth smiled. Kristi had loved Boy Meets World, but was disgusted when they all ended up at the same college. “Mom, will you teach me how to cook this week?”
Ruth was a bit surprised, but was pleased none the less. “Of course! Why the sudden interest?” Kristi had never been interested in learning when she lived at home; she’d been more interested in performing and boys.
“Well, eventually, I’d like to be able to make dinner for JC, instead of the other way around…”
Ruth coughed on her tea. “So things are…serious between you two?”
Kristi was shocked at first, then realized that her parents got the reader’s digest version of everything, from either her or Jess. “Yeah…I’ve met his family, and we’re moving in together.”
Ruth tried very hard to be happy for her daughter. “That’s nice…” The last time Kristi had been in a serious relationship was with Alex…Ruth still didn’t know what had gone wrong.
“Mom, I know what you’re thinking. I love JC…more than I love dancing.” Ruth’s eyes widened. Was Kristi saying what she thought she was? “I want to be his wife…eventually. Neither of us is ready for that, yet.”
“Oh honey! I’m so happy for you!” Ruth leapt up and gave Kristi a hug. “We’ll start tomorrow and…oh, it’ll be like planning a lesson!” Ruth turned to get more tea, when she heard a sniffle. “Kristi, what’s wrong?”
Kristi had her hands in her face, fighting back tears. “He thinks my knee is his fault…his parents…and I won’t be able to tour…” Kristi trailed off, tears falling from her eyes. What’s wrong with me? Can I never not cry?
“Kristi…” Ruth sat down next to her daughter and hugged her in the way only a mother could. “Start from the beginning.”
Through tears and hiccups, Kristi told her mother about the anniversary party, and her revelation, dancing, and then wanting to show off for the Chasezs and doing Swan Lake. She told her mom about dancing that night anyways, and JC being mad about that. “And Jayce…I know he’s hurt because I didn’t stay on tour…but doesn’t he get that this is better for me? I can sleep and relax and…”
“Learn how to cook for him?” Kristi had to laugh; Ruth could always cheer her up.
“Yeah…it’s not personal at all; it’d be so hard to stay on tour and watch everyone else performing…it’ll be hard enough going back not being able to dance, let alone walk…”
“Honey, JC loves you. I think he’s just upset that he won’t see you for 10 days…not mad at you. How could he ever be mad at you if he wants to marry you?”
Kristi smiled. “Thanks Mom.”
“My pleasure.” Ruth liked being included in Kristi’s life. Kristi called enough, but she always called Jess or her friends with problems. Ruth was a good mother, she didn’t want Kristi to have problems, but if she did, she wasn’t going to complain if Kristi confided in her. “Why don’t we go to bed early?”
“I think I’m gonna stay up…Jayce is calling after the show…”
“Ok honey…I have to work at the library in the morning, so your father and I will be gone when you wake up. Maybe you should give Jess a call tomorrow.”
“Yeah, I think I’ll do that.”
“Good night!”
At midnight, Kristi’s cell phone rang and her heart danced. “Hey you…”
“Kris…I can’t believe I’m already missing you so much…”
“First thing’s first…how did the show go?”
“Well, April’s got everything down.”
“Good, now how are you?”
“I should be asking you that.”
“Well, I’ve taken so many pain killers, I can’t feel it when I pinch my arm, which is a long way from my knee…” JC chuckled. “And I had a minor breakdown on my Mom…”
“About what?” JC asked, although he knew the answer.
“You.”
“I’m not mad at you Kris, I’m just gonna miss you and I worry about you! I just wanted you to know that you had another option…”
“I know, and thank you. I miss you too.”
“So what are your plans for this week?”
Kristi was going to tell him she was going to learn how to cook, but thought she’d surprise him. “Tomorrow, I’m going to hang out with Jess, maybe stay for dinner, and see Sam and the niece and nephew. Sleeping a lot. Spending time with Jess. Jeff is in town soon, so I’ll see him, maybe call some old high school friends to see if they’re around.”
“Sounds like you’ll have a busy schedule…”
“Never too busy to take your call.”
“Good, because I am.”
Kristi laughed. God, JC missed her laugh already. “How are your parents?”
“My dad is away on business, he should be home the day after tomorrow. Mom’s good. We watched St. Elmo’s Fire and had some pizza”good old mother daughter bonding.”
“Sounds like fun.”
Kristi nodded, even though JC couldn’t see her. “I miss you” Kristi said quietly.
“I miss you too. I’m not looking forward to waking up by myself.”
“Me neither. Maybe you and Justin can share a bed…”
“Yeah right…good one Kris.” Kristi giggled.
Kristi glanced at the clock. “I’m gonna go to sleep.”
”It’s still early!” JC protested. He didn’t even care if they talked; he’d be happy listening to her breath.
”I’m hanging with a different crowd now, Jayce. One with kids and regular jobs…”
”Fine.” JC knew he wasn’t going to win.
”I love you.”
”I love you too.”
”Jayce, call me tomorrow after the show.”
”What if I want to call you before then?”
”Fine with me, but call me after the show.”
”Good night.”
Kristi slowly got to her feet, grabbed her crutches, and retreated to her childhood bedroom; thank goodness it was on the ground level.
Ruth hurried back upstairs. She had come down for a glass of milk and overheard most of Kristi’s conversation. Her daughter was in love; and not puppy love, as it had been with Alex. Ruth smiled, happy for her daughter.
JC curled up in bed, by himself, with the CD Kristi had given him in his Discman, and the letter she had written him. He turned the CD on, and heard Christina Aguilera. Turning his attention to the letter, JC read:
Dear Jayce,
I’m really sorry all this had to happen; I don’t want you or your parents to feel responsible, because you’re not. Things happen. And I believe everything happens for a reason; maybe this happened to make sure I don’t fuck up the best thing to ever happen to me: you.
I love you Jayce, and don’t ever forget that. I needed to go back to Chicago; I need to keep my sanity, and I want to start dancing again as soon possible, which will happen sooner with more rest and stability. I won’t have to relocate every few days. I know you understand, I really think you do. And I’ll miss you too. But just think about how amazing it will be when I get back.
JC smiled. He knew exactly what he wanted to do when she got back.
I gave you the Christina Aguilera CD because I want you to listen to song #4, “I Turn To You”. Jayce, from now on, it’s you and me. When I have a problem, I’m coming to you. You’re my world, and it will stay that way. I love you. My future is your future.
JC’s eyes started tearing at this. Kristi was incredible.
I used to be terrified of life after touring. It’s so busy and life consuming, you don’t have to think for yourself. But then I met you. And I fell in love. Trust me, I didn’t want to. Life was good, and I was looking forward to touring for years…but then you happened. And I’m glad you did. I have something to look forward to after this tour, something that might have made me decide to stop touring even if my knee hadn’t been stupid. My stomach is in knots because I get this nervous excited feeling when I think about the future”our future. This kind of excited nervousness is better than dancing in front of a crowd, it’s better than anything. You showed me what love really is, and have given me everything. I want to give you everything I have.
Jayce, I want to be your wife. I want to have a family with you; I want kids and a dog and a mini-van. This is crazy, because sixth months ago, this would have scared the crap out of me. And I used to tease Jess like no other because she was a soccer mom and she drove a mini-van. But then I realized, the idea doesn’t scare me anymore because I’ve found the right guy.
JC wiped tears away from his eyes. Kristi’s words were so touching and…moving.
So just think about this whenever you’re missing me (or missing me so much you can’t bear it anymore, since you’ll always be missing me): we have the rest of our lives. 10 days will seem like nothing in 10 years.
I love you,
Kris
JC shook his head, clearing his thoughts. No letter meant more to him than this one. He turned the Discman to song #4, turned off his light, and fell asleep listening to “I Turn to You” on repeat, holding Kristi’s letter in his hand.
When I'm lost in the rain,
In your eyes I know I'll find the light
To light my way.
And when I'm scared,
And losing ground,
When my world is going crazy,
You can turn it all around.
And when I'm down you're there
Pushing me to the top.
You're always there,
Giving me all you've got.
For a shield from the storm,
For a friend, for a love
To keep me safe and warm
I turn to you.
For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on
For everything you do,
For everything that's true
I turn to you.
When I lose the will to win,
I just reach for you and
I can reach the sky again.
I can do anything
'Cause your love is so amazing,
'Cause your love inspires me.
And when I need a friend,
You're always on my side
Giving me faith
Taking me through the night
For a shield from the storm,
For a friend, for a love
To keep me safe and warm
I turn to you.
For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on
For everything you do,
For everything that's true
I turn to you.
For the arms to be my shelter
Through all the rain,
For truth that will never change,
For someone to lean on,
For a heart I can rely on through anything,
For that one who I can run to...
For a shield from the storm,
For a friend, for a love
To keep me safe and warm
I turn to you
For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on
For everything you do,
For everything that's true
I turn to you.
For a shield from the storm,
For a friend, for a love
To keep me safe and warm
I turn to you.
For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on
For everything you do,
For everything that's true
I turn to you.
I turn to you...
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