If they thought last week was bad, they could not imagine the week before tour. They rehearsed for 12 hours each day. Things could have been worse, though; if they all hadn’t stayed later that night last week, Wade would have lost it. The dancing was much better, and they just had to work on small things, so he was in a much better mood. However, nothing could calm the nerves of a choreographer the week before tour.
They aimed for three dress rehearsals each day. The guys had to do interviews and other things, so the girls did get some down time.
The tour opened Saturday night, and on Tuesday, the girls found themselves with a good 20 minute chunk of free time. They found some couches and crashed, all extremely tired.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been in so much pain!” Meghan said.
“I can’t feel my legs anymore…so at least there’s no pain!” Lauren added.
Beth had her eyes closed, trying to sleep, which was highly unlikely. Michelle took out her Discman and was listening to classical music. Kristi was just getting comfortable when someone poked their head in.
“Kristi,” it was Wade, “can you come here?”
Kristi got up and walked towards the door, looking longingly at the couch. She followed Wade around the corner and was surprised to see a meek, drawn-back Wade.
“I’m sorry about the way I’ve been acting lately.” He began. “There’s no excuse. You don’t deserved to be treated like crap, and I haven’t been paying attention to you.”
Kristi grabbed his hand. “It’s ok. I understand.” She really didn’t, but she didn’t want to start anything. She didn’t have the energy, and honestly, she wasn’t sure if she cared enough.
Wade pulled her close and Kristi let herself sink into his arms. He leaned in and kissed her softly. She couldn’t remember a time like this: serene.
The guys were finished their quick interview early, and were heading to the same couch-filled room the girls currently occupied. Everyone else walked by Wade and Kristi without a second thought, except JC. He face fell, his limbs suddenly felt heavier. He had thought they were making progress. That the song broke through, and now they were heading in the same direction. Then a conversation they had floated into his head…
“I…I just wanted to tell you”“
“I know.” Kristi said. “Thank you…Friends?”
“Friends.”
They had agreed to be friends. JC shook his head and sighed. Although he wanted more…then friends they would be.
“We’re half way done the show!” Wade called from his ground-floor seat. “You’re doing great!”
“What do you mean ‘we’?” Chris asked. “I don’t see you dancing up here!”
Most laughed, while some were still catching their breath.
Kristi spent a lot of time thinking while dancing; it was her safe place. With JC in touching distance, and Wade in sight, she felt like she was square dancing and two boys were vying for her attention. Wade…Wade wasn’t what she thought he would be. That doesn’t make it bad, though…Does Wade make her happy? Does she make Wade happy? Would he even know what happiness is? What if it hit him in the face? She laughed to herself at that thought.
The rest of the week flew by. Kristi had never been so tired in her life. Beth had taken up residence on her couch, because she lived so far away from the studio it didn’t make sense for her to go back and forth.
On the night before the tour kicked off, Johnny and Ron threw a party”if you could call it that. There was food and drinks, and couches. No one was in the mood to dance or really party because of the impending tour. Kristi and Beth were one of the first to leave.
Driving back to her place, Kristi’s phone rang.
“Hey Wade.”
“Hey! I just wanted to let you know that everything worked out with Britney’s tour.”
“I’m glad.”
“So…I won’t be able to catch up to the *NSYNC tour”“ Kristi thought he was going to mention something about missing her. “”so I need you to be my eyes out there…make sure the dancing is sharp. If you need any help call me.” He paused, and then continued. “I have to go, but have fun, ok?” And with that, he hung up.
Beth’s voice surprised her; she had forgotten someone else was in the car. “You ok?”
Kristi must have looked disgusted, because that’s how she felt. “Maybe? Wade just told me he wouldn’t be joining us on tour, but instead of an ‘I’ll miss you’ or something like that, he reminded me of my dance captain duties and hung up.”
Beth had meant to mumble under her breath, but Kristi heard her comment. “Some boyfriend you got.”
Yeah, some boyfriend.
Opening night was over. The concert was fabulous; the sold-out crowd was not disappointed. Every member of the crew was celebrating back stage when Ron hurried up to Kristi.
“Wade’s on the phone…he said it’s important.” Kristi shot him a puzzled look, but Ron shrugged.
“Hello?”
“Kristi, that was awful.” Her eyes widened in shock.
“What?”
“I saw part of the concert. The dancing was not sharp enough and everyone looked slug”“
“You came to the concert but didn’t even come to see me?” Kristi was upset.
“Can we focus on what’s important?” He continued so she wouldn’t cut him off. “I can’t believe you let them dance like that!”
“How is that my fault? You’re blaming everyone dancing great on me?”
“They did not dance great! You need to focus”“
“No, you need to focus Wade.” She was getting angrier by the second. “You’re my boyfriend, and you came to the concert, but didn’t see me? You didn’t even send a message backstage, or anything?”
“I’m calling you!”
“”to yell at me!”
“I think you’re in over your head.” Wade paused, and then hung up. What did he mean by that?
Visibly shaken, Kristi went to collect her things to head to the hotel when JC approached her. “Are you ok?” She didn’t answer. “Was Wade on the phone?” She nodded. “What happened?”
She took a long breath. “Apparently, we sucked tonight, and it’s all my fault.”
“How did he know”“
“He saw part of the concert, but didn’t even come see his girlfriend or send a message backstage…”
“Asshole.” Kristi was fumbling her things, dropping them. JC picked them up and asked her, “Do you need a hug?” She smiled faintly. Tears fell down her face, and some landed on JC’s shoulder. It was hard to believe that two and half weeks ago, the two weren’t talking. Kristi couldn’t remember the last time she felt this protected.
The first week or so of the tour had passed. The shows were incredible; the crowd loved them. The guys enjoyed performing, and everything was going great. Except Kristi. Wade was calling her every night to remind her of things to tell the dancers and guys the next day, because she was his eyes. But he never talked to her like she was his girlfriend.
One night, Kristi just couldn’t take it. She slammed down the phone and left the room she shared with Michelle and Beth. She didn’t know where her feet were taking her, but she didn’t care. A minute later, she wasn’t surprised when she ended up in front of JC’s door.
Knock, knock
JC hauled himself to the door, tired. It’d better be something good…
He opened the door to see a disheveled Kristi, her eyes red and face tear-streaked. He immediately pulled her into a hug.
“What’s wrong?”
Kristi sniffled before she answered. “Wade…all he does is yell at me. I…I can’t”can’t take it anymore.” She began to hiccup.
JC stood straighter, his eyes bearing down into hers. “Then don’t.”
He turned around and went to shut the door.
“Wait! What are you doing?”
“Kristi…” JC began. “Every night since tour started, you’ve been upset because of Wade. And I’ve tried to make you feel better, because you don’t deserve to be treated like crap. But if you’re not going to do anything to make yourself feel better, then why should I? I’m trying to be a good friend, but I can’t watch you make yourself miserable.” JC was on a roll. Everything he had wanted to say to Kristi came streaming out, whether it was intentional or not. “You don’t need Wade to make you happy! You don’t need any man to make you happy”or you shouldn’t. Having a boyfriend should bring extra joy to your life. If you don’t respect yourself enough to make sure you’re happy, then there’s nothing I”anyone”can do for you. And like I said, I can’t”I won’t”watch you make yourself miserable.”
JC slammed the door in Kristi’s face.
The next day, JC didn’t ignore Kristi like he had done before, but he did not make her laugh, and he was cold towards her.
The guys had a press conference, though, so she didn’t see him a lot. That was fine by her, because their conversation last night had given her a lot to think about.
Was Kristi making herself miserable because she was with Wade? Would she be happier without him? Was she happy with herself? Although Kristi knew the answers to these questions, she didn’t want to admit it. Kristi wasn’t sure why…normally she had no problem admitting she was wrong. It probably had something to do with making a choice and sticking with it. She had chosen Wade, and she was sticking with him, or at least trying to.
To Kristi’s relief, JC had warmed up towards her before the show. The last thing she wanted was to have him be sick at the sight of her again.
During a costume change, he said to her, “I’m sorry for last night, but think about this next song…I’m singing it for you…”
Kristi’s breath caught in her throat. She knew what the next song was. She needed to keep her composure on stage…please let me stay sane on stage! She thought.
I don't know why you care (why you thinkin' bout him mama?)
He doesn't even know you're there
'Cause he don't love your eyes
And he don't love your smile
Girl you know that ain't fair
In the middle of the night
Is he gonna be by your side?
Or will he run and hide?
You don't know cause things ain't clear
And baby when you cry
Is he gonna stand by your side?
Does the man even know you're alive?
I got an idea
Won't you be my girlfriend
I'll treat you good (I'll treat you good girl)
I know you hear your friends when they say you should
'Cause if you were my girlfriend
I'd be your shining star
The one to show you where you are
Girl you should be my girlfriend
Does he know what you feel (know what you feel?)
Are you sure that it's real (are you sure?)
Does he ease your mind
Or does he break your stride?
Did you know that love could be a shield yeah
In the middle of the night
Is he gonna be by your side?
Or will he run and hide?
You don't know cause things ain't clear
And baby when you cry (oh no)
Is he gonna stand by your side? (no no) Does the man even know you're alive?
I got an idea (listen girl)
Won't you be my girlfriend (yeah yeah)
I'll treat you good (I'll treat you good girl)
I know you hear your friends when they say you should
'Cause if you were my girlfriend
I'd be your shining star
The one to show you where you are
Girl you should be my girlfriend
Ever since I saw your face
Nothing in my life has been the same
I walk around just saying your name
Without you my world would end, yeah
I've searched around this whole damn place
And everything says you were meant to be
My girlfriend... oh
Won't you be my girlfriend (yeah)
I'll treat you good (uh) I know you hear your friends when they say you should
'cause if you were my girlfriend (my girlfriend)
I'd be your shining star (shining star)
The one to show you where you are
Kristi did not let herself think about what JC was saying to her on stage. She thought about anything and everything to avoid the topic. She counted steps in her head”something she hasn’t had to do since she was 8. Kristi thought of things she wanted to buy, the Food Network, game shows, her friends in Illinois…She managed to hold her thought until the end of the concert.
As soon as she ran off stage, she fell onto a chair. She sat for five minutes, but couldn’t catch her breath. Michelle came over to sit with her.
“Miche, I need your help.”
Michelle smiled. “That’s obvious!”
An hour later, Kristi sat in the bathroom, in the tub, thinking. The tub was the place Kristi could sit and think. Weird, yes, but that’s how Kristi works. Michelle had listened to her ramble, but Kristi had to do some things herself. Beth and Michelle were watching TV in the room, and she needed privacy. Her cell phone sat beside her on the counter. Kristi knew what she had to do, but she didn’t know if she could.
Taking several deep breaths, she dialed. Voicemail. “Hi Wade, it’s Kristi. We need to talk. Seriously…” She paused, and then decided to talk to his voicemail, because who knows when he’d call her back. “We’re done.” She said meekly. Something inside of her was going, though, egging her on. “I’m done with you.” She was growing stronger by the second. “I’m sick of the way you treat me, and how you’re such an asshole. I deserve better than that.” She took another deep breath. “Call me back, though, because I want to make sure you got this, and hey, who ever said closure was bad?”
Kristi entered the room; Michelle and Beth already knew what she had done.
“You go girl!” Beth screamed happily while Michelle did a happy dance.
Kristi collapsed on her bed. “That took more energy out of me than the concert did.”
She started getting under the covers when Michelle asked, “Aren’t you going to go talk to JC?”
“I want to, but honestly. As much as I like JC, I need to remember that I broke up with Wade because I was miserable, not because I had another guy on the ready.”
“Makes sense.” Beth said thoughtfully.
The next morning, there was another knock on JC’s door. He opened it, wiping the sleep from his eyes.
“Good morning sleepy head!” It was Kristi. As tired as JC was, he couldn’t help but notice how good she looked.
“’morning yourself,” he mumbled.
“Look, JC, I just wanted to tell you…” She trailed off. JC was content to let her squirm, figuring out what she wanted to say. She took a deep breath. “I broke up with Wade last night”or Wade’s voicemail.” JC chuckled at that. “I did it for you”or not for you”but because of you.” He was confused, and Kristi knew that. She needed to explain herself. “Everything you’ve been saying about me and Wade and you and relationships…it’s all true. I deserve better than that. And you made me see that.”
“I’m glad”“
“JC, I just really need to say this…so could try not to”“
“Of course.”
“Ok…I was miserable with Wade, but scared to do anything about it. Not because he threatened me,” Kristi added hastily at the look JC gave her, “but because I was afraid to admit I was wrong. You made me see that, even when I didn’t want to. You tried to make me feel better when you knew I wasn’t ready to let go of that asshole. So thank you…” JC made a gesture as to hug her. “But, I don’t deserve somebody who goes out of their way to make me feel better…not yet, at least.”
“What?”
“JC, I really like you. A lot. It sounds all middle school-ish, but it’s true. But I don’t want to jump into anything right yet, because I broke-up with Wade because I was miserable”you helped me see that”not only to be with you. So please, please let me adjust to life, and let me make sure I’m content with myself before you come sweep me off my feet like I know you’re capable of.”
JC had to smile at that. “I think I can do that.”
“Thank you.” Kristi smiled. It was the first genuine smile she’d displayed in weeks. She pecked him on the cheek. “I’ll see you later.”
“’Bye Kristi.”
JC couldn’t stop smiling all day. Even when he was told there’d be several more unexpected press conferences and interviews, he shrugged it off. Not only had he gotten what he wanted, Kristi”or the promise of”, he had made her happy, had helped her. His excitement was contagious. The guys didn’t need to guess what was going on. First off, Michelle and Beth told them, and secondly, they knew JC too well.
And it was because Justin knew JC too well (he had been there when things didn’t work out with his first girlfriend at the age of 13), Justin wanted to talk to him.
“JC, man!” Justin called. “Come sit with me!” They were eating lunch in between an interview. The reporter wanted to do separate interviews, so this was the opportune time for Justin.
JC sat down and started on his sandwich happily. “What’s up?” He said with a mouthful.
“Well…” Justin knew this was going to be hard for JC. Good thing JC had already had his interview. “It’s about relationships…you…Kristi…and Rachel…”
JC flinched at the last name. “What about it?”
“Er”have you told Kristi about Rachel yet?”
“No. But she hasn’t told me about her ex’s either…other than Wade, of course.”
“JC…I’ve seen how you look at Kristi, and I think it’s great you’re back in the game again. But she’s different than Rachel, and I think you should tell her about it, just so she knows. It’s helped shape you, as much as you might not like that. You’re more focused now, and you”“ Justin searched for the words. “You …you trust differently. I just think it’d be nice to warn her.”
“Ok,” JC was trying to remain calm. He thought he was doing a relatively good job. “So when we finally start dating or whatever, I should tell her that I was in a serious relationship and then Rachel cheated on me, and I’ve been depressed ever since? That’s good first date conversation.”
“It sounds weird, I know. And I think how and when you tell her is all up to you, but you should tell her…eventually.”
“And I will. But we haven’t even done anything yet…” JC decided he wouldn’t tell Kristi what had happened with Rachel until he was sure the relationship was going somewhere. He wasn’t going to relive the pain for a 2 week fling. But in the back of JC’s head, he knew the relationship was going to go somewhere…
It had been a week since Kristi had dumped Wade”or his voicemail, rather”and others were wondering what was taking JC and Kristi so long to get together. Neither bothered to explain; it wasn’t their business.
That morning, Kristi came to sit with JC during breakfast.
“Hi!” She greeted him cheerfully.
“Hi yourself!” JC couldn’t resist himself…she looked amazing today. “You look”er”nice.”
“Thanks,” Kristi paused, gathering her thoughts. “Listen. You know last week when we talked that morning about waiting and being happy and all that?”
JC had been drinking coffee, and started coughing. After a minute he replied, “Yes” with a hoarse voice.
“Well…I’m happy. I realized that I was happy before Wade, and that I’ll be happy after him.” She shot a look at JC. “I mean, life is about the ups and downs, right? You can’t appreciate the good things if you don’t know what the bad feels like.” JC was beaming. “I don’t want to tell you when to start sweeping, or anything, but…I’m just letting you know, that I’m ready, but it still hurts, ya know? When you’ve been in a bad relationship, it hurts to open up again. I’m afraid I may need some convincing. I’m not playing hard to get”I swear”it’s just, I may shy away. I”I need to tell you that. I’m still a little cautious.”
JC knew this would be a good time to tell Kristi about Rachel, but he couldn’t do it. After all, she wasn’t telling him anything he didn’t know. Wade had been one of his friends”JC wasn’t sure what he was to him now.
So JC smiled and said, “Thanks. I’ll let the sweepers know…” He got up, winked and left the room to get ready for a day of photo shoots.
Michelle slid into his empty seat. “Did you tell him?”
Kristi nodded, “And I know he’s going to do something…”
Michelle shook her head laughing. Everyone, including herself, knew those two were falling hard for each other. It was quite fun to watch.
Before sound check that day, Ron hurried to find Kristi.
“Kristi! You need to come down to sound check, now!” Ron sounded anxious.
“Why?”
“Just come! Please?”
“Ok…” She shot the other girls a curious look and beckoned them to follow her.
They walked into the stadium and were greeted with the opening notes of “I’ll Be Good For You”. Kristi gasped. She hadn’t expected anything of this magnitude this soon. She thought she’d get some flowers tonight or something.
“Kristi thanks for bringing an audience!” JC said in the microphone, laughing. “I know, this isn’t original, but deal, ok?” He smiled and the guys began serenading her. She was shocked. She’d never officially been sung to before.
I'll be good for you
I ain't gonna take my love away
And I will love you more girl every day
I'll be good for you (yeah)
Baby girl it's plain to see,
That our love was meant to be
I know you're hearts anticipating
And my love is on your mind
Well don't you worry
I won't keep you waiting
Cause I ain't ever seen a lady so fine yeah
I know you want me too
It's in your eyes they say you do
They're telling me you'll open your heart to me yeah
Cause if you want me to
I'll sacrifice my world for you
And show you the way loves supposed to be yeah
Kristi’s voice caught in her throat. I need to start paying more attention to lyrics! She thought. Somehow, she thought, even if she had known these words, they would still carry a whole new meaning now.
I'll be good for you
I ain't gonna take my love away
And I will love you more girl every day
I'll be good for you (ohh)
My baby girl it's plain to see,
That our love was meant to be
JC’s voice alone gave her the shivers. Kristi felt goosebumps form on her arm.
Now I know you think I must be faking
I promised all these things right from the start
So don't you rush into decision making (rush, rush)
Cause I just wrote this song to tell you my heart
I wanna be with you
And girl there's nothing I won't do
To make you see that this is where you should be
Cause baby we can do, anything you wanna do
Girl I wanna be a part of your fantasy
That verse seemed to sum up everything she and JC had discussed. She was still having trouble catching her breath.
I'll be good for you
I ain't gonna take my love away
And I will love you more girl everyday
I'll be good for you (so good)
My baby girl it's plain to see,
That our love was meant to be yeah
I can be good for you
Tell me what you want to do
Baby girl, it's plain to see
That our love was meant to be
I'll be good for you
I ain't gonna take my love away
And I will love you more girl everyday
I'll be good for you
My baby girl it's plain to see that our love was meant to be yeah
After the guys had finished singing, Michelle, Beth, Meagan, and Lauren applauded appreciatively, huge grins across their faces.
JC hopped down off the stage and jogged over to Kristi, who was still having trouble functioning. When he reached her, she tried to speak, but couldn’t.
“Is that sweeping up to par?” JC smiled mischievously.
“Wow…” Kristi paused. “No one has ever done anything like that for me before.”
“Well, there’s a lot more where that came from.” JC didn’t want to push his luck. Kristi had told him she couldn’t rush into anything. But she was standing there, looking at him like that…before he could stop himself, he kissed her. And to his pleasant surprise, she responded by wrapping her arms around him. JC dipped her slightly in his arms, adding to the romantic feel of things.
The two were jolted back to reality by loud clapping and jeering.
“Finally!” Justin cried.
“Hallelujah!” Chris began. “All of my praying has paid off…”
“You go to church?” Lauren asked skeptically.
“No…”
Michelle and Beth stood there, beaming. Joey was biting his nails, trying to find something more humorous than what Chris had come up with to say. Lance looked thoroughly please. Meghan was ‘aww-ing.’
“So Kristi,” Justin took matters into his own hands. He wasn’t going to let JC screw this up. “Will you date the poor man?”
“I”“
“I mean, he friggin sang you a song! Granted he didn’t write it”yours truly did”but all the same”“
“Justin”“
“He’s wearing his heart on his sleeve!”
“Justin! I would love to date JC…” Kristi directed her gaze to the man her arms were wrapped around. “Except he hasn’t asked me yet.”
“Well,” Michelle began. “Are you going to ask her JC?”
“Not in front of you all!” JC said, seeing the looks of disappointment on their faces. “But I’m pretty sure you all know what her answer will be…”
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