10 months…it had been 10 months since Lindsey had last seen him. 10 months since he had broken her heart. 10 months since she had been truly happy. She was no longer the emotional wreck she had been even 5 months ago. Lindsey had a new job in a new city, looking forward to moving on from that part of her life. This new life, she told herself, would not include love. She wouldn’t allow herself to be hurt again.
Lindsey used to be outgoing and enthusiastic. She had lots of friends and loved life. She liked work and had time for everything. She’d work on weekdays, go out on weekends, and worked on her love life always. Maybe that was her mistake; she put too much energy into the relationship. She pushed too much. She wanted it too much. She was too dependent. She wouldn’t make that mistake again. She didn’t want to ever need anyone again, because it hurt too much when they walked away.
Shifting through some papers on her new desk, a picture fell to the ground. Lindsey forgot to breath; it was the picture taken of her and Rick on their two year anniversary. Before she could stop them, tears formed in her eyes. Her shoulders shook as she fought to keep control over herself, but lost. The tears started streaming down her cheeks. Lindsey ripped the picture up, throwing the pieces onto the floor. She put her head in her hands and cried.
JC walked down the hallway with every intention of heading home to sleep before another long day in the studio. *NSYNC was working on their new album and as much as they loved making music, it was a lot of work. JC had stayed after the others, fiddling with the mix of one of their new songs. Running a hand through his hair, JC sighed; he still wasn’t happy with the end result.
He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he almost didn’t see an office light on. He stopped, trying to remember whose office it was. When JC heard crying, he knocked on the door. “Hi, are you ok?” There was no answer, so he opened the door. “Are you ok?”
Lindsey looked up, embarrassed to be seen in this state. She quickly wiped tears off of her cheek. She was able to focus on the man standing in her doorway, and she almost lost her voice. “I’m fine, thanks.” Lindsey stood up and walked over to JC to shake his hand. “I’m Lindsey, the new publicist.”
JC shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you…but I don’t think you’re fine. People who are fine don’t sit in their offices this late crying.”
Lindsey smiled. “It’s nothing…I found a picture that…never mind.” Lindsey stopped herself before she said too much.
“I’m already here, might as well talk to me.”
Lindsey smiled. JC was nicer than Melinda had said. “I found a picture of me and my ex…”
“Let me guess…he broke your heart?”
Lindsey nodded. “Yeah, we dated for two years, and were engaged. But he cheated on me.”
JC was shocked. He had just met Lindsey, but he couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to cheat on her. “I’m sorry…you don’t deserve that.”
“Thanks…but it’s late. I should get home…I’ll see you tomorrow!”
JC understood that he had been dismissed and left thinking about this new woman. She couldn’t have been older than he was, but she’d already been in a long-term committed relationship, engaged, and had her heart broken. JC shook his head; was there something wrong with him? Having never been in a relationship for longer than a few months…JC had always blamed his lack of commitment on his career, but he knew that wasn’t true. Lance and his girlfriend Patty had been dating for over a year; Chris was pretty close to being engaged. Justin and Joey were still young, too young to consider settling down. JC…what was he supposed to think? That I suck at relationships. Truthfully, JC was getting lonely. He wanted to find that special person, someone who would be there for him if everything came crashing down around him.
“Melinda…it was so embarrassing! He’s practically my boss, and he walked in on me crying!” Lindsey was retelling what had happened the night before.
“JC’s a great guy…he won’t be stupid about this.”
“Just…I thought I was moving past this Rick thing…it’s been 10 months!” Melinda knew about Rick, as she had interviewed Lindsey for the job, and had been curious as to why she was so ready to drop her life in Boston to move to Florida.
“Honey, the heart doesn’t have a time table.” Melinda smiled, knowing Lindsey would not be happy with what she was about to say. “But you can always talk to JC…he’ll be at the meeting…all of the guys will.”
Lindsey rolled her eyes and groaned. “Thanks for the warning.”
Melinda was right; JC had kept what had happened last night to himself. He was surprised as Lindsey had been to see her enter the conference room with Melinda. “Hey guys!” Melinda greeted them.
“Melinda! How are you my darling?” Justin asked.
“I’m great Justin. I have someone I want you guys to meet.” She waved her hand towards Lindsey. “This is Lindsey Michaels. She’s new to the publicity team. Lindsey, this is Chris, Justin, Joey, Lance, and I believe you’ve already met JC…”
“Hi guys, it’s nice to meet you!”
She shook hands with everyone, when Joey commented. “Jayce, are you calling dibs since you saw her first?”
They all started laughing, except JC and Lindsey. Lindsey had no idea of what was going on while JC was just embarrassed.
Justin saw the confused look and clarified things. “We call dibs…whoever sees the girl first.”
“What if I don’t like any of you?” Lindsey smiled.
“Babe, that hurts!” Joey shrieked.
Lindsey patted his shoulder. “Sorry…”
Chris was excited. “It’s about time someone shot his ass down!”
Johnny walked in and everyone settled down. Melinda couldn’t help but think how great Lindsey would fit in. Lindsey was relieved she had gotten off to a good start with the guys. JC was still wondering about his lack of serious relationships. Maybe he should talk to someone who knew something about long-term relationships. He thought about talking to Lance or Chris, but his mind wandered to Lindsey. If her ex hadn’t cheated on her, would they still be together?
After the meeting, JC caught up to Lindsey. “Hey!”
Lindsey blushed before talking, very fast. “I’m sorry about yesterday, you’re my boss and I shouldn’t have told you that.”
JC smiled. “It’s ok. I was actually wondering if I could ask you some questions about…that. Do you have time to catch some lunch?”
Lindsey checked her watch, fully aware of her lack of commitment until three that afternoon. “Sure.”
JC took Lindsey to a deli down the street. “So, JC, you said you wanted to pick my brain apart?”
JC sighed; he needed to talk to someone…but he needed to try and put what he was feeling into words. He just blurted it out; “Is there something wrong with me? I’ve never been in a relationship for more than a few months…am I that stupid?”
Lindsey smiled. “JC, there’s nothing wrong with you…you’re what? 24 years old? I am too…and I’ve already been through more heart ache than I’d wish on my worst enemy.”
JC cringed thinking about how awful it must have been for Lindsey to find out that two years of her life had been a lie. “I didn’t think…I shouldn’t be asking you…”
Lindsey covered JC’s hand with her own on the table; she was just as surprised by her sudden show of affection as JC was. “It’s ok…I think it’s actually better if I talk about it.” She took a deep breath. “Before it all happened…I was so happy. I had someone to share my life with…the ups and downs, the happy and sad moments, everything. It sucks about how it ended, but I wouldn’t trade the time I spent with Rick”the time he wasn’t cheating on me”for anything.”
“How can you be so strong about this? So…definite?”
Lindsey smiled. “I’ve spent 10 months thinking about this. I’ve had time. And there’s nothing wrong with you because you’ve never taken the plunge, so to say…”
“But we’re the same age, and you’ve already been through so much more!”
Lindsey’s smile faltered. “You’re right, and it’s not something I want to go through again.”
“You don’t want to fall in love again?” JC asked, shocked.
“I know, it sounds horrible…it’s just not something I’m looking for right now. I’ve been there, and it hurts.”
JC spent the rest of lunch and that day wondering how someone could just give up on falling in love. Then it hit JC; he wasn’t looking for love either. He never had been. That’s why his relationships went nowhere; he dated great girls, but he didn’t want to fall in love. Did he now? Yes, he did. Even after hearing everything Lindsey had gone through, he wanted to fall in love.
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