Lindsey knew what she wanted…but she didn’t know if she would be able to get over what was holding her back: fear. Not seeing JC every day was driving her crazy, and it had only been a week since he had agreed to give her time. He didn’t stop by her office when he had some free time, sit next to her in meetings, call her just to say hi…because he was giving her space. Lindsey sighed and put down her pen…she wasn’t getting any work done.
One of her hidden talents was song writing. It let her express her emotions, no judgments, it let her be Lindsey Michaels and bare her soul. She took a folder out of her drawer and headed to a practice room. She was going to finish something she had started months ago. When she finished it, Lindsey hoped she’d be able to take the next step in healing.
JC ran a hand through his hair. He missed Lindsey, more than he thought he would. He told her he’d give her the time she needed, but he didn’t know how much longer he could wait. JC turned off the mixing machine and got up to take a walk; he wouldn’t be getting any work done today.
JC started walking, not sure where his feet would take him. He headed towards the practice rooms, thinking he might tinker with a piano. He hadn’t been able to write a thing since he last kissed Lindsey. He was nervous; he couldn’t remember the last time he felt like this. He felt like he was in middle school, waiting for a girl to circle ‘yes or no’ on the note he had given her.
He heard someone playing the piano and singing from down the hall. JC thought it was probably a new Jive artist and figured he should introduce himself. He opened the door and stood frozen.
Lindsey put the pencil down and put her hands in her face. She couldn’t get the chords right for the life of her. She didn’t really play piano; she just knew enough to write. Lindsey wanted to finish this song; for some reason, she thought if she put this song behind her, she could put that part of her life behind her.
“Lindsey?” Lindsey turned around at the sound of his voice.
“JC…”
“What are you doing?” He approached her cautiously, not sure if she wanted him there.
“Trying to figure out the chords for this song…it’s driving me crazy…”
“Can I hear what you have? Maybe I can help.”
Lindsey nodded and slid over so JC could sit next to her. She took a deep breath, put her foot on the pedals, placed her hands on the keys, and began.
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far
Lindsey’s voice cracked, but she kept on singing. She needed JC to know this. Rick had such a big impact on her life; not only were they engaged, he was the reason she was scared.
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
JC wanted to hug Lindsey. He wanted her to cry on his shoulder. He wanted to take away her pain…but she needed to let him know that he could. And now, he began to understand why it was so hard for her to.
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Music was how JC communicated; that must be why he understood her situation so much better now. His heart felt for her. No one should have to go through that.
Because of you
Because of you
JC turned to look at Lindsey. Tears were clouding her hazel eyes. She ran a hand through her brown hair, looking nervous. “No one’s ever heard that before.”
He nodded. “Thank you for letting me listen. It’s incredible…don’t change anything about it.”
Lindsey nodded. It was now or never. “JC, I want to let him go…by not giving you a chance, I’m still letting him run my life.” JC nodded. “I want to try us…I’m still scared, but I want to try.”
JC broke into a smile. He pulled Lindsey into a hug. “Finally…” was all he could think of to say. Lindsey laughed. JC leaned back so he could look at her. “I’m not him…and I won’t let you forget that.”
Lindsey nodded and smiled. She had made the right choice, she knew it. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against JC’s. Lindsey had been anticipating this since the last time they had kissed. That seemed like so long ago, when it had only been a week.
JC deepened the kiss and pulled Lindsey onto his lap. She was his…figuratively speaking. She wanted to give him a chance. This thought made him more excited. His hands went into her hair and massaged her scalp. JC nibbled on Lindsey’s tongue, causing her to inhale sharply. She retaliated by biting JC’s lower lip, then soothing it with her tongue. JC’s hands went to the hem of Lindsey’s shirt and glided around her back. Lindsey’s hands rested on JC’s chest; the closer he pulled her, the more stuck they became. Both knew things were getting too intense fast, and that this was neither the place nor time for anything like this. JC slowed the kisses down and soon Lindsey was resting her head on his shoulder.
Lindsey ran her hand down the side of JC’s face, giving him shivers. “What now?”
Her question interrupted his thoughts. JC had been imagining everything he wanted to do with Lindsey when they were truly alone. “What do you mean?”
“What happens now? I haven’t done the new dating thing in…3 years?”
JC smiled, wrapping his arms tighter around Lindsey. “Well, we start with dinner and go out a lot, hang in sometimes…”
Lindsey laughed and swatted JC in the stomach. “Fine…pick me up at 7.”
JC kissed her nose. “There’s nothing I’d rather do.”
When JC caught up with the guys later that afternoon, he was on cloud nine. “Woah, Jayce,” Justin began. “You’re happy.”
JC just nodded. “The only thing I can think of that would make you this happy…” Joey paused. “Shit, did she finally say yes?”
JC nodded again. “Hallelujah!” Chris shouted.
“When are you guys going out?” Lance asked.
“Tonight…dinner…I don’t know where to take her though.” A thought popped into JC’s head, one he had been worried about for a while. “Guys…what if I pushed her into something? What if she’s not ready?”
“Jayce, shut it.” Chris began. “You didn’t push her into anything. You spent the past week avoiding her!”
“And,” Lance added. “I don’t think she’ll ever be truly ‘ready’…you don’t ever get over something like that.” JC’s smiled faded. “But, I think you’re going to change her attitude about relationships.”
“Oh man, I’m just so excited!”
Justin rolled his eyes. He was going to have a talk with Lindsey, to see what her intentions were with his big brother.
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