There was a knock on Lindsey’s door. “Come in!” She said.
“Lindsey!” Justin entered the room and flopped into the chair in front of Lindsey’s desk.
“Hey kiddo, what’s up?” Justin frowned; he didn’t like his new nickname.
“Not much…I just heard that finally someone gave into my man Jayce…”
Lindsey smiled. “Yeah…I gave in. We’re going out tonight.” Lindsey’s eyes were sparkling. Justin knew her intentions were good; he had known before, but that sparkle was the reassurance he needed.
“Well,” Justin teased. “I just wanted to warn you, that if there’s any funny business, you’ll have us to answer to!” Justin pointed his finger at her. “I mean it!”
“Aren’t you supposed to protect me, the girl?” Lindsey laughed. “I’m your friend too!”
Justin smiled. “JC’s getting the same talk later.”
Justin left a little while later, after they had caught up. Lindsey leaned back in her chair; she couldn’t believe how much her life had changed in the past month and a half. She lived in a new city, had a new job, and had a new boyfriend. She had a boyfriend…the words sounded foreign and strange to her. They were words she could get used to.
Lindsey lay on her couch, thinking. She tended to get lost in thought a lot more lately. She had a feeling it had something to do with the man who now occupied most of her time. JC and Lindsey had only been dating for two weeks, but they fell into a comfortable but exciting routine.
JC would come to her office before doing whatever he had to do that day; there have been some cases where he’s been late getting to his meeting or recording time. Neither of them minded though. They’d eat lunch, most of the time with the guys in the cafeteria at Jive for lack of time. They’d go home, and maybe go out to dinner or watch a movie. It surprised Lindsey as to how easily being JC’s girlfriend came to her. She had thought that for sure, she’d be the awkward sixth wheel, in this case, but the guys treated her just like they always had.
Lindsey checked the clock; she had an hour before JC was coming over. She was going to cook him dinner. Everything was ready; all Lindsey had to do was put the lasagna and garlic bread in the oven in half an hour. She picked up the phone and dialed the number of her childhood home.
“Hello?” Debra, Lindsey’s mom answered.
“Hi Mom!”
“Lindsey! Hi! How are you?” Debra and Ron, Lindsey’s dad, had been very worried about their daughter when she had made the move to Orlando. She had been there for a little more than two months, and they hadn’t heard of anything to make them believe she was healing.
“I’m great…” Lindsey hadn’t told her parents about JC. She wasn’t sure why, but she figured now was as good a time as any. “In fact…I have a boyfriend.”
“Honey, that’s great!” Debra smiled; maybe Lindsey was moving on. “I want details!”
Lindsey smiled. “Well, his name is JC, and he’s an artist at Jive…” Lindsey knew her mother’s smile was fading.
“You work with him?”
“Kind of…I’m on *NSYNC’s publicity team.”
“Honey…that’s difficult, you basically work for him”wait, did you say *NSYNC?”
“Yes, he’s in *NSYNC.”
“So your first boyfriend after you almost get married is a superstar?”
“Don’t sound so excited that I’m finally getting on with my life, mom.”
“I’m happy for you, I really am…but do you think that’s wise?”
Lindsey sighed; she called to gush about how sweet JC was and how she felt she found this part of her that she hadn’t known had been missing. “Mom, I spent the first month here ignoring him, and then we talked…we both want this to work Mom…if anything happens, it’s not going to be because he’s a celebrity…and he said he’d give me time to think. Mom,” Lindsey couldn’t believe she was saying this, but she was. “He’s one of the most eligible bachelors in Orlando”hell, probably the country, and he gave me time…he wants me. All of me…crappy past included.”
“I just don’t want to see you get hurt again.”
“I don’t want to get hurt either…but Mom, JC’s not Rick. He never could be.”
Lindsey snuggled against JC closer; after the conversation with her mother, Lindsey was afraid something would happen. She didn’t know what, but her mother had sounded skeptical for the rest of the phone call, even when Lindsey had told her that JC’s parents were coming down next month to visit, and she’d be meeting them. Her response was: “Don’t you think this is moving too fast?”
Too fast…her parents were the ones who kept telling her to move on, and now she was moving too fast? No, this wasn’t too fast. They’d been dating for two weeks, and by the time his parents came down, it’d be almost two months.
Lindsey decided to forget about her parents and pay attention to her boyfriend, who happened to lying down next to her on the couch, with his arms around her. “Baby, is something wrong?” JC’s question interrupted her train of thought. He knew her well enough to know something was wrong.
Lindsey was about to say ‘nothing’, but one thing that had led to her failed relationship with Rick was not telling the whole truth. “I talked to my mom today, and she’s not thrilled about me dating a celebrity.”
JC moved so he could look Lindsey in the eye. “Well, I can’t change that…but does she know that I care about you…so much, that sometimes I don’t think it’s healthy?” It was true; sometimes JC scared himself with how much he wanted to protect Lindsey, provide for her, be there for her through everything”the ups and downs of life. He wanted to be a part of her life, a major part of her life.
Lindsey laughed. “At least I’m not the only one who feels that way.”
JC kissed her. “Trust me, you’re not.” JC wanted to say everything he was feeling, including that he knew that he was falling in love with Lindsey. He wanted to say it, but he knew Lindsey wasn’t ready for that; they’d been dating for two weeks, and getting her to date him had been hard enough. In fact, JC wasn’t sure he was ready to say it either.
JC was leaving for five days to record with *NSYNC in LA; Lindsey would be spending the night at JC’s, so she could drive him to the airport. She was nervous. She hadn’t even slept in the same bed as a man in almost a year. Lindsey didn’t know what to expect or if JC expected anything.
The whole evening, Lindsey had been acting strange. During dinner, she had barely eaten her food; she just pushed it around her plate. They had watched one of her favorite movies and she had sat solemn face the whole time. It was only 11, but JC really wasn’t that eager to spend more time with this Lindsey; he wanted his Lindsey back.
“Honey, I think I’m going to head to bed…” JC stood up and stretched. “Are you coming?”
Lindsey’s face turned pale. She looked at JC with frightened eyes. “Yeah…sure.” She took his hand and followed him upstairs. Lindsey felt faint and nervous. Her breathing was ragged. When they reached the room, Lindsey sat down on the bed while JC went into the bathroom. He came back out in his boxers to see that Lindsey hadn’t moved.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” He sat down next to her and took her hand. He became more worried when he realized how cold her hand was.
Lindsey looked at him with tears in her eyes. “JC…I”I…” She needed to tell him. Lindsey took a deep breath. “Rick is the only person I’ve ever been with.” She closed her eyes, waiting for whatever would come”she wasn’t sure what would.
JC felt the air in his lungs rush out. Lindsey thought he wanted to sleep with her; well, he did, but he wasn’t going to pressure her into anything. JC pulled her onto his lap. “Baby, that doesn’t matter to me…and we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. I didn’t ask you to sleepover so I could get lucky.”
Lindsey smiled, but the tears still fell. “I just hate this…why am I so upset?”
“If I may pretend to be a psychologist…you’ve slept with one man…” This pained JC to say, but he wanted to help Lindsey. “And he broke your heart.” He kissed her softly. “It’s natural to be scared…I was scared shitless the first time I slept with my second partner.” JC chastised himself for saying something so stupid.
Instead of making Lindsey laugh, she started crying. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
“I’m not good enough for you!” Lindsey cried. Her shoulders shook and tears ran down her face. “I’m leftovers from some guy who isn’t half as good as you…”
“Don’t say that”“
Lindsey wasn’t listening. “I don’t know how to do anything! I fucked up my only real relationship, and now I’m freaking you out because I’ve only been with one man, and I’m sure you’ve had at least 5 times as many partners as I have!” She looked at JC. “I can’t…I can’t do this…I’m over my head.”
JC wrapped his arms tightly around Lindsey. “Now, if you’re done, I can clear a few things up for you…first, I don’t care if you’ve only been with one person…I think that’s kinda sweet. You are not some leftover…he has no idea how much he fucked up. I think I may want to thank him; if he hadn’t screwed up, I wouldn’t have you.”
That was the wrong thing to say; Lindsey let out a whimper and hid her face in JC’s neck. “Shh…baby, I didn’t mean it that way.” JC screamed at himself inside of his head. How was he going to make her feel better? Everything Lindsey had been feeling these past few months came spilling out; she didn’t feel like she was good enough for JC, she was still hurt by what Rick had done. “Think of it like this; if things hadn’t happened the way they did, I wouldn’t have found you. And you’re…you’re a piece of me that I didn’t know I was missing.” Lindsey’s sniffling stopped; she felt exactly the same way.
“JC…I…” He kissed her.
“I know what you’re saying. And honey, I don’t care about anything that happened before we met. All that matters is us, now, and the future.”
JC lied down and Lindsey snuggled next to him. He kissed her temple. “Are you ok?”
Lindsey nodded. The lay for a couple of minutes in silence; JC was using every bit of self control he possessed not to roll over and make love to the woman he was falling for. He was sure that Lindsey had fallen asleep after 5 minutes, but he heard her whisper.
“Josh…”
“You called me Josh.”
“I did.” They both smiled. “Josh…” She leaned on her elbow so she could look him in the eyes. “Make love to me.”
JC’s eyes widened. After what had happened, he was sure that this would be completely out of the question. “Are you sure?”
Lindsey nodded. She kissed him with everything she had inside of her. Any other man would have run away when she broke down earlier, but JC stayed. JC wasn’t like other men.
Every caress was soft, every movement full of love. JC wanted to show her how making love could only make their relationship better. Lindsey felt safe and happy. She could have spent the rest of her life in the bed with JC, and she would have been content. The night was filled with soft sighs and sweet kisses, a night neither of them would forget.
Lindsey stared at the phone; it was mocking her. She knew she needed to call Jen, but what was she going to say? ‘Sorry for not talking to you for two months’ wasn’t going cut it. Dialing the number before Lindsey lost her nerve; she held her breath while the phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Jen? It’s Lindsey.” Jen knew who it was.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” Lindsey knew she would need to start talking. “I wanted to apologize for everything…”
“Me too…you were dealing with it the best way you thought…”
Lindsey smiled. “It probably wasn’t my smart idea…but it seems to be working out.”
“Really?” Jen asked. “That’s great.”
“Yeah…I have a boyfriend.”
“What? When did this happen? I want details!” This was the Jen Lindsey had missed.
“Well, his name is JC, and he’s an artist at Jive…” Lindsey received a different reaction from Jen than from her mom.
“JC, as in JC Chasez of *NSYNC?”
“Yeah, but I just call him Josh.” Lindsey smiled. “He’s amazing…he waited when I needed time…I’ve had several break downs, and he’s been there through all of it.”
“Lindsey…I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks, me too!” Lindsey needed to gush to a girlfriend. “He’s the sweetest man I’ve ever met. He’s always doing little things, ya know? Like just popping in at work to say hi, or cooking for me if I’ve had a hard day.”
“Sounds like you have it made.”
“Yeah, minus the fact that millions of teenagers would want to kill me if they knew.”
“People don’t know about you?”
“Well, important people do. There’s not really a reason to yet, since they’re just recording. When things get crazier, we may go public…just not yet.”
“So it’s serious?”
Lindsey paused; she knew Jen would understand. “I slept with him.”
Jen was shocked; Lindsey had only been with one man”ok, two now”and… “I’d say it’s serious.”
Lindsey’s smile faded; this was the part she was unsure about. “We’ve only been dating for three weeks.”
Wow, she moves fast. “Did he pressure you into anything?”
“No! Of course not!”
“Just checking…looking out for my girl!”
“Thanks…but…” Lindsey shook her head. “I never thought I’d want to fall in love again, and here I am…falling in love.”
Jen smiled. Lindsey really was over Rick; and she was glad. JC was good for her, and she had a feeling this would be a lot more than love.
It had been a long five days. Lindsey had spent lots of time catching up on things that she had been neglecting, like the cleanliness of her house. She had also spent most evenings hanging out with Melinda, Mary, or Patty. She was glad she had more friends, but Lindsey missed JC.
And now here she was, at the airport, being told that the plane he was on had been delayed. “Are you serious?” Lindsey asked Mary.
Mary nodded. “This sucks. We had dinner plans!”
Patty tried to smile. “We can always go grab a drink. The person said it’d only be another half an hour.” Add that half hour to the one they’d already spent waiting, and you got one incredibly long day at the airport.
The half hour turned into another hour, so by the time the guys landed, the girls had been at the airport for more than two hours. When Lindsey saw JC, she ran at him, launching herself into his arms.
He kissed her softly. “Hey baby.”
“Hey yourself.” She kissed him again, this time more passionate. Neither cared that they were in an airport; Lindsey didn’t want to spend another five days away from JC.
“Man, do those two ever come up for air?” Joey asked, after JC and Lindsey had been kissing for several minutes.
“No wonder he can hold notes out forever!” Justin added.
Chris walked by the couple with Mary and accidentally bumped into them. “Sorry, my bad…” He mumbled.
JC grabbed Lindsey’s hand as they headed toward baggage claim so they could go home.
“How was your trip?” Lindsey asked.
“It was good. We got a lot done with Mut, and it sounds great.” JC paused, and looked at Lindsey. “But I missed a certain publicist.”
Lindsey blushed. “I missed a certain pop star too, but it’s something we have to get used to, right?”
JC gave her a puzzled look. “Haven’t you talked to Melinda since yesterday?”
Lindsey shook her head. “No, what are you talking about?”
JC sighed. He grabbed his luggage, and they headed towards the door. Melinda was supposed to tell her, but how could he not now? “Luke, our last tour publicist, got a new job, so they were looking for a new one, and Melinda recommended you.” Lindsey didn’t say anything. She was going on the road with *NSYNC. She wouldn’t have to spend weeks away from the man she was falling in love with. Instead of being happy, Lindsey became frustrated.
“Are you sure you had nothing to do with this? I don’t want to get a promotion just because we’re dating…”
JC stopped, put his bag down, and placed his hands on Lindsey’s shoulders. “Linds, I was as shocked as you are, not that I’m upset by this. I’m so excited you’ll be touring with us”that is, if you say yes.” JC paused, hoping Lindsey would show some sign indicating she would say yes, but there was none. “Linds, this is a great opportunity for you, career wise. You’ll be in charge of everything on the tour.”
Lindsey looked down. It wasn’t that she was unsure that she couldn’t handle this responsibility; she knew she could. There were so many other questions running around in her head. “What if I don’t like touring? What if I’m not what they’re looking for? What if…” this was her biggest worry. “What if we don’t make it?”
JC’s hands cupped Lindsey’s neck. “I know I don’t plan on breaking up with you anytime soon, so unless you’re planning something…” JC pulled Lindsey into a hug. “But babe, I do want to go public. Since you’re going to be coming on tour…I don’t want to hide what I feel for you.”
Lindsey pulled back. “Josh, we’ve only been dating for a month, barely.”
“So?” JC looked exasperated. “MTV is doing a ‘making the tour’ show...I don’t want to have to not touch you or kiss you while they’re here. I don’t want to watch my back to make sure I don’t blow our cover.”
“But are you sure your fans will like it?”
“Linds, our fans are never going to like that we date, but it’s something that’s going to happen.” He took her hands. “Linds, just think about it, ok? I don’t want to have any heated discussions tonight. Tonight…tonight is about us.”
Lindsey nodded and led JC out to her car.
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