One more day. One more day until they would be leaving for San Francisco. Lindsey sighed, leaning back in her chair. She was watching *NSYNC rehearsing, as Melinda had given her the day off, but Lindsey didn’t feel like being home alone by herself. And to be honest, she had never seen *NSYNC perform live, and she was impressed.
JC kept glancing towards Lindsey, just to make sure she was ok. He was glad when she had asked if she could tag along today; JC didn’t want her by herself. He wasn’t going to come out and say that, though. He wasn’t that stupid.
Lindsey got up to get some water from the table in the corner, when she heard a commotion outside.
“Why am I not allowed in? Lindsey’s my fucking fiancé!” Rick was screaming at Lonnie, the same man who had dragged him off the property yesterday.
“I have explicit orders to not let you near anyone, let alone Lindsey and JC. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” Rick didn’t move. Lindsey took a deep breath and entered the hallway.
“Lindsey!” Rick shouted. “This oaf wouldn’t let me see you…we need to talk.”
“First, Lonnie is not an oaf. Second, you’re done talking; there are several things I need to say to you.”
Rick made a move to walk down the hallway, but noticed Lindsey wasn’t moving. “We’re not talking here, are we?”
Lindsey nodded. “I don’t trust you.” Rick was about to protest but thought better of it. He eyed Lonnie, who easily had 50 pounds and 4 inches on him.
“Frankly, I’m surprised she’s not killing you, let alone talking to you…” Lonnie mumbled. “Lindsey, do you want me to stay?”
“Yes.” Turning to Rick, Lindsey started talking. “Rick, you’re awful. I loved you once, but we started falling apart before I caught you with Molly. And I’m glad I didn’t end up marrying you, because I would have been miserable…and I found JC.”
“Do we need to bring him into this?”
Lindsey sighed. “Yes, because of him, I have the strength to do this. Rick, we’re over. We’ve been over for more than a year! I don’t know what else I can say to get that through your head.” She paused, collecting her thoughts. “What you did was awful, unforgivable in my book. Do you know how awful I felt?” Lindsey continued without waiting for an answer; she didn’t expect one. “For months, I wondered what I had done wrong, what was wrong with me. Guess what, I did nothing wrong, and there’s nothing wrong with me! You’re the one who fucked up! And because of you, I almost didn’t give JC a chance.”
Rick looked down. He had never really taken the time to think about what cheating on Lindsey would do to her. “Rick, I don’t want to see you ever again. I don’t want to talk to you. Leave my parents alone, and most importantly, leave me and JC alone.”
Panicking, Rick said the first thing that came to his mind. “You’re talking like you two are married or something.”
Lindsey’s stone cold face did not even flinch when he said that. “Everything I once wanted with you, I want with him. I want all of that and more. And the best part is, he wants it all too, and he wants to give it to me.”
JC cleared his throat. Lindsey turned around to see him standing uncomfortably at the door. They were given a break, and he had come to find her. JC was surprised, to say the least, at what he saw.
“Lonnie, we’re done, you can take Rick away.”
“Lindsey, please, let me explain!” Rick took a step towards her, but Lonnie moved in between them.
“Thank you Lonnie.”
“No problem, Lindsey.” He whispered so only she could hear, “Go talk to your man, he doesn’t look too happy.”
She nodded and waited until Lonnie had moved Rick towards the exit before going to JC. “Hi honey.” She kissed him on the cheek.
“What the hell was that?” JC was definitely mad.
“Rick was yelling at Lonnie, and I came out to say a few things to him.” Lindsey took his hand. “What did you hear?”
“Everything from being unforgivable in your book…” JC looked at her. “Why did you talk to him?”
“I needed to say some things to him. He needed to hear some things. Josh, why are you so mad about this?”
JC let go of her hand and started pacing. “Why am I mad? Because he fucking attacked you yesterday! Because he’s been nothing but trouble! Because every time he’s in the picture, even when you were engaged, he hurts you!” JC ran a hand through his hair. “You know what I think Lindsey?” He paused, knowing what he was going to say would hurt, but what she had said was true. He wanted everything with her, and they needed to be honest. “I think you still have feelings for him, and you don’t want to admit it.”
Her eyes widened in shock. “What? How could you think that? I love you.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t have feelings for someone else.” JC stated.
Lindsey felt tears coming. “You don’t trust me?” She asked miserably.
“No baby,” JC went to her side and took her hand. “Of course I trust you, but I think you’re not being completely honest with yourself.” He took her other hand. “If Rick hadn’t cheated on you, would you two be married?”
“I told you, things were falling apart”“
“Lindsey, answer the question.”
She sighed. “Yes.”
JC took a deep breath, hoping it would expel the pain that had lodged itself in his heart. It hurt to hear that, even though he expected it. “Lindsey, you need to think about what you want. I hope it’s me, but I’m giving you all of me. If you can’t do the same, if Rick still has a little bit of your heart…I don’t know if I can live with that.”
“Josh,” Lindsey couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Did he really doubt her? “I want you. You’re all I want.”
JC sighed. “I want to believe that, I really do.” He cupped Lindsey’s cheek. “Just think about it, ok? For me?” She nodded. “I want this to work, but I need to make sure this is what you want.”
JC kissed her gently and walked back into the dance studio leaving Lindsey staring aimlessly after him.
Lindsey sat on the airplane, her head aching. The past 24 hours had been miserable. She had called Jen, needing to talk to someone and Jen told her what JC was asking her to do wasn’t out of the question. That didn’t make Lindsey a happy camper. But talking with Jen did clear a few things up. Last night, at JC’s house, had been hard. They had dinner, watched a movie, and called it a night. For the first time Lindsey could remember, he didn’t hold her while they fell asleep. That hurt. Almost as much as the conversation they had yesterday. “Lindsey, you need to think about what you want. I hope it’s me, but I’m giving you all of me. If you can’t do the same, if Rick still has a little bit of your heart…I don’t know if I can live with that.” Those words haunted her. She knew what she wanted”it was JC and everything that came with him”but how did she make him see that?
She looked over to the seat next to her; JC’s eyes were closed and his head was slumped against the head rest, his headphones over his ears. Lindsey knew he wasn’t sleeping. He wouldn’t be able to sleep until this situation was resolved. She wouldn’t either.
“Lindsey!” Justin called from across the aisle.
“Justin!” Lindsey imitated his tone. She leaned across and ruffled his hair. “How are you kiddo?”
Ignoring his nickname, Justin asked, “Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?”
Lindsey smiled. “I’m doing ok…with everything that’s going on.”
“Anything you want to talk about?”
“Have I ever told you how glad I am that we met?”
“Nope, but say it as much as you like!”
Lindsey paused, trying to put her thoughts into words. “How do you convince someone that they’re everything you’ve ever wanted for a partner in life, when they think you’re not fully theirs?”
Normally, that would have confused the hell out of anyone, but JC had confided in Justin earlier that morning, so he knew exactly what was going on. “I have an idea. I was saving it for a special gal of mine, but I think you may need it more than me.”
Lindsey was nervous. She had never had to convince anyone that he was the only for her. She looked at the clock; it was 5 am. Justin said 5 am would be the perfect time for her to do this. Taking a deep, calming breath, Lindsey rolled over.
“Baby,” She whispered in JC’s ear, shaking him slightly. “Wake up.”
“What time is it?” He asked sleepily.
“5 am.”
He opened his eyes. “Why are we up at 5?”
“I need you to do something.”
He saw the look in her eyes, and started to sit up. “The things I do for you woman.”
10 minutes later, they were on the roof of their hotel. “Josh, look over the edge.”
JC did so. “Woah! We look like we’re above the clouds.”
“Do you know what it feels like to be above the clouds?” JC shook his head no. “It feels like nothing can touch you. You’re so happy, you’re willing to do anything to stay that way. That you’re so in love that you…” she looked at him. “That you would do anything for that person. If he asked, you would walk away from your job, or hometown…if you could do whatever he asked, you would do it.”
JC inhaled sharply and took her hands. “Josh, I love you. You are the one for me. And as much as I don’t want to bring him into this, Rick means nothing to me anymore. I want to be with you, and only you. And the other guys when we’re on the road.” Lindsey smiled when JC chuckled. “I’ve never been this happy. I’m so in love with you I don’t think I’d ever be able to recover if you walked away. I said that before about someone else, but eventually, I realized it was his lost. If this didn’t work, it would be my loss. Josh, I love you, and my heart is yours”no one else’s.” She repeated her actions of the previous week. Lindsey took one of his hands and placed it over her heart. “It’s yours, and I don’t know what else I can do to make you sure of that.”
JC stared at her long enough to make her fidget. After what seemed like a century, he leaned in and brushed his lips lightly against hers. He pulled her into a hug. “Lindsey…” Her name on his lips sounded like a symphony. “I love you too, and there’s no one else for me.” He looked into her eyes. “I just wanted you to be sure; because I don’t think I could live with anything less than what I’m giving you.”
She nodded before JC captured her lips again. Lindsey sighed happily; everything was falling into place again. JC pulled away and the two started swaying on the spot. “Linds, all of those things you said about being happy and in love…Linds, if you asked anything; I’d do it if I could in a heartbeat. I couldn’t just walk away though…the guys…”
“Shh…” Lindsey pressed her finger to his lips. “Josh, I know, it’s not just your career. But thank you.”
“I’m here for you, no matter what. All you have to do is call my name. If you call my name, I’ll be running as fast as I can to be with you.”
Lindsey smiled. “Stealing themes from Dispatch now, are we?”
JC smile sheepishly. “What can I say? But it’s true, Linds, just say the words…”
She didn’t need to say anything, she just capture his lips with hers.
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