Chapter 15: Can We Change The Subject Please?

"Where are you headed?"

"I'm not sure," I answer into my cell phone as I stretch out on the couch. "We haven't left this last venue yet."

"How did the show go? You sound tired."

"I'm exhausted," I whine.  Wade nearly killed me yesterday and I didn't even add any dancing to my set.....yet. He said he was gonna work on some things and he's going to show it to me at the next stop. Oh joy.

"How's the dancing coming?" Heath asks with a chuckle. I glad he finds my limitations so amusing.

"It stinks." I pout. "I'm terrible Heath. All I do it trip over my own feet. It's embarrassing and it's all being filmed by stupid MTV." Oh, my camera crew is giving me a break until we get to the next venue-thank you Joey. Joey has the crew with him on the NSync bus instead. I so owe him.

"I'm sure you're not as bad as you think." He assures. "You just need to practice that's all."

It's cute how he's so supportive and positive. He really doesn't know me well enough yet to know that I'm way to much of a klutz to ever be succesful when it comes anything that requires coordination.

"No amount of practice is going to help me."

"Do I need to come find you and show you my moves?" He asks playfully.

"You're moves?" I echo with a laugh, "You have moves?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?"

"I just never pegged you as the dancing type." I laugh again as Dave walks past me to the back of the bus, offering me a smile on his way.

"Oh, baby, I've got moves you've never seen before," He barely gets out before we both burst into laughter.

"You so stole that from ‘My Best Friend's Wedding'!"

"It got you out of your grumpy mood didn't it?"

"I'm not grumpy, I'm just tired." I answer back, sitting up on the couch when I hear the bus start up.

Finally we start rolling out of the parking lot. I sigh and turn towards the window only to let out a startled scream and fall backwards off the couch. Two voices say my name, one from the phone that fell out of my hand the other from the man who's reflection nearly scared me to death.

"Are you okay?" Again both voices echo at the same time.

I grab my phone off the floor and press it to my ear as I lift myself from the floor. I sit back down and look up at Justin with narrowed, confused eyes.

"I'm fine." I answer them both. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"What?" Heath questions.

"No," I shake my head, ripping my eyes from Justin's and focusing back on my boyfriend on the other line. "Not you."

"Who's there?"

"Who's where?" I repeat as Justin sits down next to me wearing a large grin. I'm glad he finds this all so amusing. He scared the crap out of me....and how did he get on my bus with iron Dave guarding the door? Dave doesn't let anyone ride on this bus that's not on his ‘approved list' and I know none of the guys are on that list.

"You just said ‘what the hell are you doing here.' Who's here?"

"Oh, um, no one." I stutter, much to Justin's delight. "No one's here."

"Are you alight?"

"I'm fine," I assure rather unconvincingly. "I gotta go. I'll call you when I get...uh where ever I'm headed."

"Okay. Get some rest."

"I will, bye." I hang up the phone and turn to look at a still smiling Justin. I just stare at him for a few moments before words start to process again in my mind. "What are you doing on my bus and does Dave know you're here?"

"Dave does not know I'm here and I wanted to spend some quality time with you."

"He going to kill you when he realizes you're here, you know that right?"

"Why didn't you tell Heath I was here?"

I stare at him again speechless. I open my mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. Why did I lie to Heath? The lie just popped out, I didn't even think about it. I guess I just didn't want him to get mad at me for being virtually alone with Justin in my bus. I know he doesn't really like the fact that I'm touring with him to begin with.

"Why are you here?" I instead answer his question with another question.

"I told you," He answers with that famous grin of his that still makes my stomach do flip-flops. I hate that his smile still does that to me. "I want to spend some time with you."

"Why?"

"Because we're friends, aren't we?"

"I guess." That is what we agreed to. This is just weird though. I feel like I'm cheating on Heath and all I'm doing is sitting with the guy. It's because I'm still attracted to Justin and he still makes me feel like jello when he brushes up against me and can still make me blush with just a simple grin.

I'm a terrible girlfriend.

"You guess?" He echoes back with a furrowed brow. "Either we are or we aren't?"

"We are." I answer back all too quickly, suddenly afraid that he might leave me. Where are these feelings coming from all of a sudden? I'm not liking the way he's making me feel right now at all. "Or at least we're getting there."

"Exactly. I'm here to speed up that process."

"What the hell are you doing on this bus?" Dave's voice suddenly booms.

I twist around quickly in my seat to stare up at the large man with frightened eyes. He's gonna kill Justin, he's going to literally throw him off the bus while it's moving, which will kill him.

My eyes shift to Justin and I can't help but start laughing at the look on his face; he looks terrified. He bugs his eyes out at me only making laugh even harder. He pushes my shoulders and I fall over on my side still giggling away.

"Why are you laughing girl?" Dave asks, his tone softening by the minute.

"His face," I squeak out pointing at Justin who shoots me a playful glare.

"Me and Liz just switched places." Justin says as my laughter starts to die. "I thought it would be okay."

"Well you thought wrong."

"Dave, he's fine," I insist. "Please don't make a big fuss over this. Everyone is accounted for so what's the difference?"

"I'm gonna let this slide this one time," He answers holding up his pointing finger in emphasis. "Don't pull a stunt like this again."

"Damn he's wound tight." Justin whispers after Dave's left the area.

"He's just looking out for me." I defend Dave's actions, though I'm not sure why because I think he's been a bit over the top lately.

"I know...it's just-"

"Can we please change the subject?" I interrupt him though I don't really have a problem with the conversation-I just don't have anything to say on the topic.

"Alright, so, how's Heath?"

"Why do you always say his name like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like his name is burning your tongue."

"You say Cameron's name the same way." He answers back without really answering my question. I know why he says Heath's name the way he does-it's for the same reason I say Cameron's name like that. I don't like her. I don't like to see Justin with someone else; even if he claims they're not dating.

"Let's change the subject." I offer leaning back to get more comfortable.

"Fair enough," he chuckles-purely masculine. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know," I shrug. This is all a little weird and very awkward. I don't know what to say to him and I guess I'm just a little concerned of getting too comfortable with him again. I mean what if old feelings start to resurface? I don't know if I'll be able to handle that!

"You alright?" Justin's always smooth voice breaks me from my frantic thoughts before they can really run away with me. "You look a little frazzled."

"I'm fine."

"If you say so," He chuckles. I don't know what he finds so amusing. "So, how're the choreography lessons with Wade going?"

"Wade's really nice." I answer vaguely. The lessons with Wade aren't going at all. I'm terrible and he knows it. I can tell he's really frustrated with me and my zero ability when it comes to dancing. I swear I was born with two of the same feet...err I mean two left feet or I guess you could say two right feet. I wonder why people always say two left feet. Is having two left feet worse than having two right feet?

"That's not what I asked."

"It's terrible." I answer honestly. "I'm terrible."

"I'm sure you're not that bad."

"You saw me," I answer back with a deep pronounced frown. "I haven't gotten any better."

"Maybe you're just not cut out to be a dancer."

"That's what I said!" I exclaim with a smile, happy that someone is finally on my side for a change. Justin lets out a hearty laugh, tossing his head back in the process. It's one of those great big belly laughs where his whole body shakes and his eyes nearly disappear because he's squinting so much-it's adorable and very contagious. "I have a hard enough time getting the guts to go out on stage and sing let alone dance."

"Just put your foot down and say you're not going to dance."

"That's easier said than done." I mumble.

"It's your show."

"No," I correct him with a sarcastic smile. "It's my mom's show. I just have a tiny part in it."

"You're never going to enjoy your art if you have no control over it."

----Justin's POV----

Elli looks up at me with those big sad doe eyes of hers and it takes just about every fiber in me not to pull her to me and wrap her up in my arms. She really seems to hate her newfound fame and just plain performing. I can't believe her mother is being so controlling and I can't believe more that Elli's putting up with it. I could see the old, shy Elli backing down and not fighting for herself, but since our reunion she seems to be so much more confident. You would think with that confidence she would stand up for herself more.

She opens her mouth like she's going to say something, but then quickly closes it again and redirects her gaze to her pants.

"Can we change the subject again?" She asks quietly, looking up at me through her eyelashes while picking at her nails.

So not to change the subject but, I totally snuck onto Elli's bus and didn't really just switch places with Liz as I told Elli's overprotective bodyguard Dave. JC knows I'm here and I informed him to let everyone know that I'm here after we're already on the road. As for Liz being on Nsync's bus, that really is true and she went on her own free will. I'm sure she would be pissed if she knew I was here...I guess she probably knows by now so she probably pissed right now. I think she hates me more than Elli does.

"Since I don't seem to be doing too well at picking the topics why don't you chose the next one."

I'm begining to think we're not going to be able to come up with a suitable topic to talk about the whole time we're together. Everything seems to be off limits with her. I don't know if she just plain doesn't want to talk about it or if it's that she just doesn't want to talk about it with me. I'm hoping it's the first one.

"I don't know." She blushes with a wrinkle of her nose. "Umm....I watched the Super Bowl halftime show. Care to comment?"

I am so freaking sick of talking about that. It happened, it was a mistake, lets all move on. I sigh heavily and scratch at the back of my neck. It's almost like she chose this topic because she knows I won't want to talk about it. If we don't learn to talk to each other again we're never going to become friends again. Ugh, she just had to bring up the Super Bowl incident.

I lower my head and drop my hands to my lap before answering her in the same way she's been answering all of my questions, "Can we change the subject?"

TBC...