Because of You
Disclaimer: This song is by Kelly Clarkson, so give her props when they’re due.
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far
Your huge mistake. Your fucking mistake. Well, your mistake is the love of my life. Your mistake is my baby girl, Samantha. Samantha was your mistake, you say. My mistake wasn’t having Samantha, it was loving you.
You were amazing those first few months. And then I gave myself to you. We talked about a future, a family. All of that was gone when I told you I was pregnant. You told me you couldn’t have a child; your career wouldn’t allow it, you weren’t ready. Well, neither was I. I was 25, and now I’m 27. I’m still not ready. But now, I’m a single mother raising a daughter. I’ve never felt so alone and scared in my life.
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
You broke my heart. Not only did you break mine, you broke yours. I watched you fall into depression, hurting everyone around you. I told you it wasn’t healthy and that if your behavior didn’t change, it’d hurt the baby. I knew you didn’t want to be romantically involved with me, but your next words left me emptier than I ever thought I could be. “Who said I wanted anything to do with your fucking baby?”
My fucking baby? So I climbed on top of myself and got myself pregnant? I didn’t know I was that talented. Thank you for letting me know that, Lance, or else I would have spent my whole life not knowing I possessed that ability.
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
JC asked me out. He wants to be apart of Samantha’s life, he wants to help me, and her. He said he wants to be a family. Do you know how amazing that would be for Samantha? I want to say yes, but I don’t know if I can. It would be all too easy to fall in love with JC; I’m not worried about his ability to sweep a woman off her feet. The thing is, I don’t have a heart to give him. It still belongs to you.
And as much as Samantha brings to my life, there’s a void, one that JC wants to fill. I want him to, but I need my heart back. Damnit Lance! Give me my heart back! Give me my life back! When you left, you broke me”all of me. I’m not whole anymore. Why did you leave me? Why did you turn your back on your daughter? Fuck your career, and fuck your immaturity.
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
The one time I have sex, it changes my life, literally. I gave you the most precious thing, and then this is what I get. I trusted you; you shredded my trust in people. Are you happy? I’m nothing! How can I be strong enough for two for our daughter when I can barely hold myself together?
I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
There were times when life became too much for you. And who was it that held you and whispered sweet nothings into your ear until you calmed down? Me! I gave you my shoulder, I was your rock. Now where’s my shoulder to cry on? Where’s my rock? But I can’t cry, ever”not in front of you when you drop off your child support, not in front of Samantha. Because crying is a weakness, right? JC lets me cry, but because of you, I feel ashamed to, when I’m doing nothing wrong. I lost my support, and I’m just starting to regain my balance.
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Fuck you Lance! You’re a blessing and a curse. I hate that it was you who gave me Samantha”your blessing. Then you broke my heart, and stole it. I feel like I don’t have heart to give my own daughter, let alone JC. Fuck you Lance!
Because of you
Because of you
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