With each passing day it was beginning to feel more and more like a burden to me. Well my secret that is. It was slowly killing me.
****
“so have you used the money yet?” jc asked as he walked into my room
“no. I haven’t.”
“don’t tell me you don’t know what to spend it on. I know you usually buy yourself a pair of jeans with the money you’ve gotten from other girls. Or I guess maybe go spend it on a night on the town.” Jc smiled sheepishly. “you know. Have a wild night.”
I rolled my eyes. “please…”
“no seriousy. You might as well enjoy your money on one hot piece of-“
“JOSH!” i didn’t think I could take anymore of jcs suggestions. It was bad enough that the money was sittingin my wallet. Like a fat load of bricks.
“well excuse me.”
“its different with her josh. I never even wanted to make that fucking bet man.”
“youre falling in love with her aren’t you?”
“I wish I could say I wasn’t. I didn’t think I was going to love again after…but here I am and I love kailey so much.”
“don’t you think youre over thinking it? I mean you and her just met. How do you know she even feels the same.”
“its just…” I sighed. “I cant even begin to explain the feelings I get when im around her. I cant sleep at night if I don’t know shes ok. And the feeling of anger that I felt when I knew someone else was hurting her? I felt like I could kill a man.”
“that’s another thing Justin. She just got out of a relationship. How do you know she’s not just using you to get back at her ex? Its too soon for you to expect her to actually fall in love again.”
“she never loved him.”
“rumor has it they were high school sweethearts.”
“she stayed with him out of fear! That’s not fucking love!”
Jc sighed and threw his hands up in the air. “don’t say I didn’t warn you if it ends up that shes using you for her own benefit.”
“you don’t know kai like I do josh. Shes not like that. Kai would never hurt someone like that.”
“Justin you’ve only known her for what, half a year? You knew Britney years. And look what she did to you.”
“kai’s different.”
“don’t be surprised if shes not all what she seems to be.”
“why are you doing this to me? Why are you fucking torturing me?”
“Justin I’m trying to make you open your fucking eyes! You’re falling way too fast and you’re going to get your heart shattered.”
“why don’t you let me worry about that.”
“so what are you going to do? Confess that you used her to get a quick buck?”
“no.”
“well then you don’t love her obviously. You don’t lie to someone you love”
“I’m not lying. I’m just leaving something out.”
“uh huh…”
“well then what are you going to do with the money. After all, it is dirty.”
“I think ill burn it. Now get out.”
Jc smiled and walked out. It seems as thought his young friend still had a lot to learn about love.
*
“its me baby.” I heard the familiar voice through the intercom and I smiled.
“k. c’mon up j.”
I smiled when I heard a knock on my door a few moments later.
“hey baby.” He kissed me and smiled. “hows it going?”
“its going…been trying to write a song all day but I have such writers block.” I sighed. “its killing me.”
“you know what I think?”
“what do you think timberlake?”
“I think youre stressed baby. And we need to cure that. We need you to be relaxed.”
“and how are we going to unstress me?”
“I don't know. That’s what I came here to talk to you about.”
“oh really?”
“yes really. I was thinking about throwing a little get together.”
“oh?”
“uh huh…” he started playing with my hands. “like maybe a barbecue or a pool party. Nothing special.”
“hmmm. Sounds fun I guess.”
“not in the mood to socialize?”
“I don't know…I guess I need to take a break.”
“you deserve it baby.”
I smiled. “so when are you planning on doing this?”
“this weekend? I don't know. I have to talk to Johnny and see when we can all take a day off.”
I smiled. “you know this sounds like it might be fun. Itll be my first nsync get together.”
“because you swear on your life we all just get together all the time.”
“uh huh.”
“you must have it so stereotypicaly set up in your head.”
“I can picture it.cheesy music and everything. But you guys seem really close. Very hard working. Good chemistry.”
“yea. Its great to love the people you work with.”
“I suppose it must be. I wouldn’t know. If Johnny keeps pushing me he’ll be on my hate list.” I winked.
“and im going to suppose that that’s not a good place to be?”
“defintetly not.”
“am I on the opposite list?”
“youre right up top baby.” I kissed him.
“youre on the top of many of my lists.”
“and god knows I don't wanna know what they all are.”
He smiled. “so are you up for it?”
“sure why not its been a while since ive been to a get together type thing.”
“you can invite your friends if you want.”
“I think we should do it a day their working.”
“you know sometimes I wonder if their even your friends.”
“don't get me wrong. Its not that their not like im talking about them behind their back. Im not that kind of person. And our so called friendship…well its complicated.”
“ok well lets not talk about it then. I want you to be happy and think happy things. We don't need to invite tenie.”
I smiled and kissed him. “thank you.”
“for?”
“not pushing me to talk about it. And for wanting me to be happy.” I felt tears start to burn in my eyes and I couldn’t believe how silly I was being. But me being a woman and all I couldn’t help the emotional-ness that was coming over me.
He smiled and wrapped his arms around me. “aww baby its not reason for you to get emotional. I just want to see a smile on that beautiful face of yours.”
“I know but you don't know how much it means to me Justin. It seems like ive never had a guy be so concerned about me and you have no idea how much it means.” I smiled and wiped away my tears. “look at how silly im being. Im sorry.”
“baby theres no need to apologize. But you don't have to worry with me. There wont be a day when I wont be concerned and there wont be a day when I wont be loving and caring. I can promise you that.”
I smiled. “thank you baby. Its nice to know I got one of the only good men out there. Not to mention how cute you are.”
“I know…I know.”
“and how you just completely ruined it.”
He winked. “you know how I do.”
*
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