Hardly Ever Go by Antique Dilettante


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I remembered walking into the lobby, looking for my parents and of course for my brother. I had a smile on my face, such a smile I couldn't remember ever smiling, and I just knew that things were going to get better from here on out. Spotting the ever-present bright orange racing hat of my father, I hurried over and hugged him. He returned it and smiled. My dad was proud of me, which meant a lot. Dad nor Mom had ever been the type to show much emotion. “Where is Jake?” I asked, questioning about my brother.

Mom and Dad exchanged knowing smiles. I immediately became suspicious.

“Oh, he had to go home just after. He was here though, so don't get that look. He promised he'd be here, and he was.”

“What does he have to do at home?” I asked.

They both shrugged and exchanged that look again. “Why don't you go talk to your friends a while before we leave?”

I wasn't going to bite. I wanted to go home and see Jake. I wanted to know what was going on. “I want to go home now,” I said flatly, crossing arms over my chest and tapping my foot. “I don't want to go and talk to my friends, I have all summer to do that. I only have a couple of days to see my brother. He's more important. I want to go home now.”

Mom looked at her watch, so did Dad, and then they looked at each other. “Alright,” they said slowly, and I ran out to the car. They ambled along slowly, and I was going insane.

On the way home they stopped at KFC and got some food, and then they stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things. I kept reiterating that I wanted to go home. They kept saying soon and putting me off. I knew something was up, I wanted to know what, they just didn't want me to know.

Finally we pulled into the driveway. I hopped out of the car, ran inside and straight to the kitchen. Jake was almost always in the kitchen. But it wasn't Jake sitting on the stool at the end of the bar, staring at the TV with a can of Coke in his hands. It wasn't Jake's girlfriend Cassandra, either. It was Josh.

I skidded to a halt, grasping the other end f the counter to keep myself from falling down. What was Josh doing in my kitchen? I hadn't seen him since he graduated. He never came around during holidays, and Jake hadn't ever invited me to go with him to Josh's house during the holidays. It had been as though I had quit existing. So why was Josh sitting at my kitchen counter now at the most important time so far in my life, and why was it Josh and not Jake?

Mom and Dad came in after me and stood at the kitchen door behind me. They cleared their throats, and Josh turned to look at us. My heart clenched, he was more handsome than ever, and looking every bit of a gorgeous college guy in his early twenties. He offered a slight smile and waved, then gave me an odd look.

I should have expected the look, really. I hadn't seen him in years, and I looked much different from the lame freshman he had known. I was taller now, standing at nearly five feet ten inches tall. My hair wasn't long and pale red, it was short and messy and black. My eyes weren't doe-like and innocent, but were lined in heavy makeup and surrounded by thick black frames. I looked every bit like the scene I was into, and I wasn't ashamed of it. But now that Josh was here, I wasn't so sure of myself, but I was, in fact, rather self conscious. I hadn't worried about my image for years. Who was he to barge in and make me worry about it?

“Where is Jake?” I asked, peering at my parents with what I hoped was a death glare. I didn’t want to talk to Josh, and I didn’t want Josh in my house staring at me like I was a weirdo. Mom and Dad exchanged glances, obviously shocked I wasn’t ecstatic over Josh’s presence. Apparently things weren’t supposed to happen this way.

“Surprise baby sister!” came a loud voice from behind my parents. Jake pushed through and I ran to hug him. “I told you I had a great surprise!” he said, ruffling my hair and looking at Josh.

“You couldn’t brought me a better one,” I said coldly before going toward the stairs. I was expecting Josh to speak, in fact, I was shocked he hadn’t said anything yet. Giving him the chance to do so and redeem himself I paused momentarily and still heard nothing. I stormed upstairs, vowing I would never come down as long as he was in my house.


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