Rachel took a deep breath as she stood at the door of Jive. She could do this. Chances are she wouldn’t even see one of the guys, let alone him. She had volunteered to get this check and speak with the head of Jive about what kinds of services Habitat for Humanity offered when she was still dating JC. It seemed like a wonderful idea at the time. Now, walking into the same building he was in made her feel sick. And it was all her fault. All this time she told him it didn’t matter to her. But it mattered to her mother. And her mother was family.
Opening the door was easier than she thought. Rachel walked over to the receptionist. “Hi, I’m Rachel Levine with Habitat for Humanity. I have an appointment with Mr. Davis.”
“Good morning Ms. Levine. Mr. Davis is on the third floor. Just take the elevator right here and follow the hall to the left.”
“Thank you.” Rachel entered the elevator and pressed the 3rd button waiting for the elevator doors to close.
“Can you hold the door?” A man asked, approaching the elevator. He froze when he saw who it was.
“Sure.” Rachel whispered. She took a deep breath and smiled. “Hi. How are you?”
JC looked to the floor. “Ok. And yourself?”
“I’ve been better.” She answered. Rachel could smell his scent from across the box. Why did he have to smell so good? And why did he have to be so amazing. She needed to get over him. She would like to be friends with him again, and why not start now?
“I hear tour rehearsals are going well.”
“They are.” JC looked at her. She looked as crappy as he felt. “What are you doing here?”
“Collection.” She answered softly.
Silence descended upon the two. JC had had enough. “Rachel we need to talk.” He pressed the emergency stop button.
“But I have an appointment…”
“I’ll tell Clyde it was my fault.” JC faced Rachel. “What happened? You said it didn’t matter. You said you loved me. You said you saw a future with me. What happened, Rachel? Because I sure as hell don’t know.” JC’s voice rose with each statement.
“I lied to myself.” She answered quietly.
“About what?”
Rachel looked down, knowing tears would soon fall. “It matters to me because it matters to my family.”
“But your dad and brother like me.” JC pointed out.
“How do I tell the woman who raised me that what she thinks doesn’t matter to me? How do I do that to her?”
JC sighed. “Do you love me?”
Rachel nodded. “Of course I do.”
“Then we’ll make it work. I thought about”“
“No! I can’t, ok? I want to, but I can’t!”
JC pulled Rachel to him. “What do you expect me to do? Watch the best thing to ever happen to me walk out of my life?”
“No…I was hoping we could be friends one day…”
“Damnit Rachel! I can’t just be your friend!” JC covered Rachel’s lips with his in an instant. The kiss was searing and left Rachel hungry for more. JC’s tongue found its way into her mouth and Rachel’s moan had JC’s slipping his hands under her shirt. They backed against the wall and she tangled her hands in his hair.
For a minute, JC convinced himself she was his again. “God, I’ve missed you” his whispered huskily. He continued the assault on her senses; Rachel felt overwhelmed with love for this man, and then it hit her. This was the man she had broken up with, the man her mother didn’t approve of.
It took all of her will power to push him away. She placed two hands on his chest. “JC, stop. Please.”
JC took a step back and looked at Rachel. She was shaking and having trouble breathing. He knew tears wouldn’t be far behind. “Rach, baby, I’m sorry.” He took a step towards her to provide comfort.
“Please, stay away.” She slid down to the floor and hid her cries and face in her hands.
JC sighed and hit the first floor button. There was no way Rachel would be able to work like this. “Rachel, can I have your cell phone? I’m going to call Michelle to see if she can call out of work for you.”
Rachel handed her cell phone over with no protest. He looked through her address book and dialed. “Michelle?”
“JC?” She asked, puzzled.
“Yeah, listen, can you call Rachel’s work and tell them she won’t be coming in today?”
“Sure, but what’s going on?”
“Rachel will tell you later. Thanks.”
The doors opened and JC helped Rachel up. He watched as she left the elevator silently and didn’t look back. Who was he kidding? She couldn’t look back. If that kiss had done nothing else, it proved to him that she still loved him. But she wasn’t any closer to being his again.
JC walked into the studio they’d be rehearsing in. “C, why are you late?” Justin asked. They’d left his house the same time.
“I ran into Rachel.”
“Oh.” By the look on JC’s face, it hadn’t gone well.
He sighed. “Let’s get to work. What are we doing?”
“We’re going over vocals.”
She was my once in a lifetime
Happy ending come true
Oh I guess I should have told her
But I thought she knew
She said I took her for granted
Last thing I would do
Oh I'll never understand it
'Cause I thought she knew
I thought she knew
My world revolved around her
My love light burns for her alone
But she couldn't see the flame
Only myself to blame
I should have known
I should have known
A heart full of words left unspoken
Now that we're through
I'd sell my soul to have this silence broken
Oh I thought she knew
I thought she knew
I thought she knew
My world revolved around her
My love light burns for her alone
But she couldn't see the flame
Only myself to blame
I should have known
I should have known
She was my once in a lifetime
Happy ending come true
Oh I guess I should have told her
But I thought she knew
I thought she knew
I thought she knew
I thought she knew
I thought she knew
I thought she knew
JC thought their love was enough. Their trust in one another would fill in the gaps. She was perfect, and he wanted to give her the world, but she didn’t want it. He wanted to tell her things, but they never seemed to come out when he had the chance. He thought she knew he would do anything for her, would go anywhere for her, that he was crazy about her. He thought she knew.
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