Rachel rolled over, expecting to cuddle with her boyfriend, but finding nothing but cold air. He had left. She sighed, running a hand through her hair. She should be used to this. Ever since they had decided on a release date and finalized plans for their tour, JC had been getting called into work very early on weekends. Rachel hadn’t woken up next to him in about a month.
She got out of bed and put her bathrobe on. She saw a note on her kitchen table as she went to get coffee. One good thing about JC getting up before her was that he always made coffee. She sat down at the table and read the note. ‘Hey babe, I’m sorry for leaving like this, but you looked so cute sleeping. I love you and I’ll call you later. Love, C.’
The phone rang and Rachel smiled, seeing the caller ID. “I don’t call you C.”
JC laughed. “Hey, give me a break, it was early when I left.”
“What time?” Rachel asked as she blew on her coffee to cool it down.
“7.”
“7?” Rachel asked again. “Jayce, you won’t be done until 10 tonight. That’s not healthy.”
JC sighed. “It’s not, but with everything that’s happened, we’re willing to make a few sacrifices so we can get back into a routine.” Rachel didn’t say anything. “Are you ok Rach?”
She took a deep breath. “I’m fine.” ‘I think.’ “Call me when you get out tonight, ok?”
“Ok. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Rachel sighed and looked at her clock. It was 8, and she hadn’t heard from JC. Not that she expected to hear from him before 10, but it’d be a nice surprise. And she honestly didn’t mind spending her night relaxing and reading. She’d been very busy lately, and things would only get busier.
And where was this sudden concern coming from? She’d never been really worried about how much JC worked. Hell, sometimes she worked more than he did. Was she really worried about him, or jealous that his work now occupied more of his time than she did? Rachel honestly didn’t know the answer to that, and it scared her. The last thing she wanted JC to think was that she didn’t support him, because she did. But if she were to be truthful, she could think of many more romantic ways to spend their seventh month anniversary. Laughing at herself, she allowed herself to indulge and think about the infinite possibilities.
The phone rang, breaking Rachel from her thoughts. Thinking it was JC, she answered quickly. “Hello?”
“Rachel, it’s your mother!” The two hadn’t been on good terms for a while.
“Hi, what’s up?”
“I was just calling to see how you were doing.”
“I’m good, thanks.”
“How’s Michelle?”
“She’s good.”
“How’s JC?”
“He’s good.”
“Can you say anything else other than good?”
“Maybe.” Rachel smiled. “He’s busy. They release their CD in a month and they’re working on their tour.”
“So he’s leaving?” Evelyn asked.
“For a few months.” Rachel didn’t even pause, not giving her mother the chance to say something awful. “But I’m going to visit him.”
“Will that be enough?”
“Of course it will be! I’ll visit a few times, and I trust my boyfriend, mother.”
“Are you sure? Like I’ve been saying, I’d hate to see you hurt.”
“Don’t worry about it mom, I’ll be fine.”
“Where is he right now?”
“Working.”
“Rach, you’re too pretty and nice to be home alone on a Saturday night.”
“He’s coming over later.”
“Rach, is he really what you need?”
“I think I should be the judge of that.”
Evelyn’s words rung in Rachel’s ears, more than she’d care to admit. They were making her think things she would never even consider before, and say a few things she would never even think twice about before. JC knew something was bothering Rachel, but couldn’t figure it out for the life of him. His career had never been a point of contention before, and he couldn’t understand why it would suddenly be. He knew there was always one issue between them, because they never fully talked about it, but why would that suddenly matter and cause this rift to spring up amongst them?
“Rach…” Rachel had brushed him off while she was cooking. Normally, she loved his affection while she was cooking, but tonight…tonight was not normal. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“I can’t help if you won’t tell me what it is.”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
“Rachel, I know you.”
She slammed the pot cover down on the pot and turned around angrily. “You want to know what my problem is? You are! You’re my problem?”
“Me?” Jc had suspected, but he didn’t think it would hurt that much to hear.
“Yes, you! I’m so fucking in love with you that it hurts to think about you leaving for a few days, let alone a whole tour! It hurts to think about the future, the fact that you leaving is something that I have to get used to! And that no matter how much I trust you, it’s hard not to think that you may find someone better one day.”
JC approached Rachel and took her face in his hands. “Rachel, there is no one else for me. You’re it.” She still wouldn’t look at him. “C’mon Rach, I thought we solved this with our little kissing bench session?”
“How can you joke at a time like this?” Rachel pulled herself from JC’s arms. “I’m having serious doubts about our relationship and you’re making jokes!”
“Serious doubts?” JC’s face paled. He couldn’t imagine his life without Rachel, and she doubted his feelings for her.
“Jayce, I don’t doubt you or your feelings, but everything else. If it were just the two of us, things would be different.”
“No one else matters except for the two of us!”
“Don’t tell me you’re that naïve! C’mon JC, open your eyes! Do you know how many people want to see us fall on our faces?” Rachel slapped her hand over her mouth; she sounded just like her mother.
“They don’t matter!”
“My mother doesn’t matter?” Rachel asked.
JC paused. He’d walked right into that one. “That’s not what I mean.”
“Then what do you mean?” Rachel narrowed her eyes.
“I mean that we’re in love, happy”most of the time”and good for each other. They, including you mother, may just have to get used to the fact that we’re together.”
“How can she get used to the idea of ‘us’ if you’re not here?”
Touché. JC couldn’t argue with that. And Rachel knew that. That thought made him madder. “What the hell am I supposed to do Rachel? This is my job! What do you want me to say? What do you want?”
Rachel looked to the floor. “I don’t want you to leave! I want to be with you! I love you…I…I don’t know.”
JC grabbed his coat. “I’m gonna head home tonight. I’ll talk to you later.”
Three days later, Rachel was still avoiding JC and his calls. Why couldn’t she talk to him about this? Why did she make herself more miserable? She had no idea to answer that. It had taken two days and lots of tears before Rachel realized her mother planted those seeds in her head. Why her mother didn’t just drop it was beyond her. She knew Evelyn held grudges, but this was ridiculous. Besides, it was Rachel who had to deal with all of the issues her mother was worried about, not Evelyn.
Rachel threw her keys on the counter and listened to her messages. “Hi Rach, it’s me…” JC paused. “Call me, we need to talk.” His message was exactly like the one he had left the day before, and the day before that. Maybe she’d actually call him this time. But she needed to figure a few things out: why she reacted the way she did, how she can get over this hurdle, and how to ignore the seeds her mother was bound to try and plant.
The answering machine kept going. “Rachel? It’s your mother. I heard from Mike that you and JC had a fight…” Rachel tired very hard to keep her composure. She hadn’t wanted her mother to know, and now Evelyn was calling to gloat. “I’m sorry…call me back.”
As irrational as it might have been, Rachel somehow found herself placing the blame on her mother, grabbing her keys, and heading out of the door before she even knew what was happening.
She arrived at her childhood home spewing, ready to chew out her mother. “Mom!” Rachel cried, opening the front door.
“She’s not home sweetie.” George left the kitchen to greet his daughter. “Rach, honey, what’s wrong?” He enveloped her in a hug.
“It’s her fault.” Rachel sounded like she was five, causing her father to smile. He didn’t, however, miss the tears falling onto his shoulder.
“What’s her fault?”
“JC and I are in a fight.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m stupid and listened to Mom.”
“Come on,” George led Rachel to the kitchen and sat her down. “Start from the beginning.”
Taking a deep breath and wiping the tears that had started to fall away, Rachel spoke. “You know that mom’s never liked JC, and I don’t get why. He’s amazing.”
“That he is.”
“Anyways, she kept talking about him leaving me and I deserve better than that and he’s bad for leaving me…and I listened. Oh God, why did I listen? Now JC wants to talk, and I bet he thought about it and realized he’s better off without a basket case like me.”
“I bet that’s not true. What did you say to him?”
“Well, I’ve been thinking about it for a while.” Rachel sniffled and cleared her throat. “We were talking, and I started yelling at him. He did nothing Dad, it was all me. I kept telling him that no one was going to get used to ‘us’ if he left, and then I told him that I didn’t want him to leave. I’m so selfish! He loves his job, and I love that he’s so passionate about music!” Rachel put her face in her hands. “Why was I stupid?”
“We all are honey. But JC is smart, and I think that he realizes you were upset and didn’t mean what you said. But you’ll never know unless you call him.”
Rachel nodded. “Why are you so smart?”
George smiled. “Go get ‘em Tiger.”
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