***Chapter 25: The Next Move
A couple days later Traci was discharged from the hospital with a clean bill of health. She was taking the miscarry really hard which wasn’t abnormal. Though on one hand it cleared up the drama between her and JC but on the other it was her baby, her 1st baby. Justin tried his best to keep her mind off it on the way home, but once they stepped into the bedroom Traci spotted all the baby things they had bought along with the framed picture of the ultrasound by the bedside and locked herself into the bathroom. Justin and JC spent that time getting all the baby stuff locked in the closet down stairs. Except the baby picture which was moved to Justin’s office. Then they decided to start dinner, so they spent an hour or so doing that. When the table was set Justin went up stairs to see if he could try and get Traci out of the bathroom. He walked into the bedroom surprised to see Traci lying on the bed, hugging a pillow.
“Hey…” Justin said standing at the doorway
Traci didn’t answer; she just looked at the wall in a daze. Justin walked into the room to her beside and sat down next to her laying body. He rubbed her back.
“Where’s my picture” she asked
Justin brushed her hair from her face, watching her
“I moved it” Justin said, and kissed her head
She looked up at him, he noticed her red eyes. He pouted.
“You want it back?” he asked
She shook her head no
“JC and I made some dinner, wanna come down to eat?”
Traci shook her head no, and closed her eyes.
“C’mon, our cooking isn’t that bad” Justin said
He moved the pillow and laid down next to her, facing her and put her hands in his, kissing them. Traci opened her eyes and looked into Justin’s blue clear ones. Tears started to spill down her cheeks as she closed her eyes once again.
“Hey…” Justin whispered and kissed her cheeks “Shhh”
“I’m sorry” she whimpered and sniffled, trying to remain calm
“Come downstairs and eat with us” Justin replied “Please”
Traci opened her eyes once again and looked at Justin.
“I’m just not ready for this” she said
“Trace, it’s jus dinner” Justin said “That’s all”
The reason Traci didn’t want to go because JC would be there, the father of her dead daughter. But she couldn’t tell Justin that, he thought Kayla was his. So she had to pretend the presence of JC didn’t faze her, or else Justin would suspect something.
“I look like crap” Traci pouted
He laughed “You look beautiful, you always do” he said
Traci sniffled and sighed “Okay” she said and sat up
Justin smiled an got up holding out Traci’s robe for her. She got in it and tied it tightly. He held her hand as they made their way down the stairs and into the dinning room. JC was sitting at the table flipping through a magazine. He looked up as they entered the room.
“Hey, ready to eat?” he asked, putting the magazine down
She semi smiled and Justin pulled out a chair for her. Justin sat down next to her.
“What did you make?” Traci asked taking a sip of her iced tea
“We jus grilled some burgers and dogs” JC said
“My mom brought some potato salad over earlier” Justin said
“And I made a salad” JC said grinning
Traci semi smiled again. They all put food onto their plates and began to eat. Traci looked a few bites of her food and listening to JC and Justin made pointless conversation about everything. JC and Justin in return watched her even though they were engaged in conversation.
“So, when do you head back to work?” JC asked Justin
Justin shrugged “I don’t have a set day” he said “What about you?”
JC shook his head no “I planned on being on call for 3 more months”
As soon as it came out JC’s mouth, he looked at Justin then at Traci. Justin’s eyes got big and he gulped. Traci looked at them then shook her head.
“It’s fine guys” she said
JC started to eat again keeping his mouth shut. Justin looked at Traci as he ate too.
“Planning anything for tomorrow baby?” Justin asked
Traci shrugged “Sleeping” she said
“Your mom wanted to come visit” Justin said “Why don’t we call her and set something up”
“I don’t feel like company” Traci said, she took one more drink of her tea then stood up “I’m gonna go to bed”
“You tired?” Justin asked
She nodded “Thanks for dinner” she walked into the foyer and headed up the stairs.
JC and Justin waited for her to disappear before speaking.
“Geez, this is gonna be rough” JC said
Justin nodded “I don’t know what to do” he said
“She jus needs time” JC said “She’ll be okay”
They finished their dinner with small talk, then did the dishes. Finally JC settled down to watch TV, while Justin headed up to check on Traci and maybe take a shower. He walked into the room and saw Traci propped up on pillows watching TV, her hair was wet and she had on one of Justin’s big T-shirts. He smiled watching her.
“Hey, you’re still awake?” Justin asked
Traci turned at the sound of his voice, looking at him.
“I can’t sleep” Traci replied
Justin nodded, and then walked towards the bathroom.
“Imma take a shower real quick okay?” He asked
She nodded. Justin left the door open a crack and turned on the hot water and stripped out of his clothes. He took a long hot shower. Some 20 minutes later, and dried off putting on some BBs and running a towel over his wet curls. He walked back out into the bedroom and climbed in next to Traci. Traci instantly curled her body next to Justin laying her head on his bare chest, hugging his waist. Justin smiled and rubbed her back.
“You okay?” he asked
She nodded and sighed. Justin watched her running his hand through her wet hair. Suddenly Traci moved herself onto Justin’s lap, straddling his thighs, facing him. Justin watched her, and held her waist.
“What’s wrong?” he asked
Traci looked at Justin, and then moved in to kiss him passionately, holding his face in her hands. Justin shocked by the kiss, but kissed her back. They broke the kiss a few minutes later, panting.
“Trace…what-“ he started
Traci started to kiss down his neck, nipping his adam’s apple.
“Jus, make love to me” she whispered
Justin groaned, closing his eyes at the feel of her lips on his skin and pulled her closer to him. It had been awhile but she was in no condition for this, not for a couple of weeks. Finally he pulled himself together and put his hands to Traci’s face pulling themselves apart.
“Trace…stop we can’t” Justin said
Traci looked into his eyes, tears starting to build.
“But…you don’t want me?” she asked pouting
“Trace, the Dr. said-“ he started
“Who cares what the Dr. said!” Traci said getting upset
“Traci! Stop it!” Justin said, firmly “You know I love you, but your not ready for this”
“Yes I am!” Traci whined “I know my body Justin!!”
Justin watched her, she was freaking out. Justin moved her and sat her across his lap hugging her close. Traci immediately started to bawl hiding her face in his neck. Justin sighed; his hear breaking for the love of his life. He rubbed her back, trying to calm her.
“Shh…” he whispered rocking her back and forth “You’re okay”
“I…I jus wanted to be a mother” Traci cried “I wanted her”
Justin held her close “I know” he said “we’ll be parents, I promise”
Traci sniffled and hugged him tightly. She calmed down a few minutes later, and laid her head on Justin’s shoulder.
“You want to take some of your medicine?” Justin asked, the Dr. prescribed some pills to help her sleep since she’d been having trouble.
She shook her head no “Jus hold me until I fall asleep” she said
Justin smiled “Sure”
He got them under the covers, and shut the TV off, then got comfortable. They laid in the dark, Justin hugging Traci tightly. He hummed a soft melody singing Traci to sleep. When she began to breath deeply, Justin watched her sleep before he fell asleep some minutes later.
~*~
Traci could only sleep a few hours before waking up in a cold sweat, gasping for breath. Justin had his arms around her waist as she lay against his chest. She slowly slid out of bed, putting her robe over her shirt. She quietly walked down the stairs and heard the TV on. She walked to the doorway of the living room and looked into see JC lying across the couch watching TV. He heard the creak of the floor and looked at the doorway and saw Traci standing there.
“Hey” he whispered “You okay?”
Traci shrugged “Can’t sleep” she said, walking to the couch.
“Yeah, me neither” he said sitting up to make room for Traci to sit.
She sat down next to him and he handed her the remote. She took it and started skim through the channels. JC watched her as she ‘concentrated’ on the TV.
“You really okay?” he asked
She looked at him and shrugged. There was silence, then she spoke.
“Are you mad at me?” she asked
JC looked at her, his eyes scrunched in confusion.
“What?” he asked, confused
Tears started to well in her eyes and she sniffled. JC moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. With that Traci rested her head on his shoulder and started to bawl again. JC sighed and rubbed her arm as she hid her face in his neck shaking.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” Traci whimpered
She moved herself on his lap, hugging him tightly aril crying.
“Traci…shhh” JC said, rocking her back and forth “I’m so not blaming you for this, you did nothing wrong”
“Yes I did” Traci said
“No…” JC said “Things happen…maybe it was a sign, no we can start over; you and Justin can start over”
Traci sniffled against him “What about you?” she asked
JC sighed and kissed her head, running his hand through her hair. Traci finally looked at him and JC smiled at her. Her eyes were red, her cheeks puffy and hair a mess. He chuckled and kissed her forehead.
“I’ll live” JC said “Maybe I’ll look into my own place”
“What?” Traci asked “You don’t have to do that”
JC looked into Traci’s eyes “Yes I do” he said “It’ll be better that way”
“For who?” Traci asked grumpily
He laughed “For me Trace, that way you and Jus can be together with no distractions”
Traci pouted and sniffled.
“It’s best this way” JC said “You’ll see”
Traci laid her head on JC’s shoulder and closed her eyes and took a deep breath, smelling his scent. Tears started again and she hugged him tightly again.
“You deserve to be happy Jace” she whimpered “And I’m sorry I stood in the way of that”
JC rubbed her back hugging her close. They sat there for an hour or so in silence hugging. Tomorrow JC would be off to look for apartments and Traci and Justin would be trying to start over.
*&*Traci*&*
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