Lance.
I was sitting in my hotel room, and not even bothering about how long I had sat in the same chair now. I had been two days since I’d seen the guys, and every time I thought of them I would feel angrier and angrier.
I knew I shouldn’t feel that way, because it was after all my own fault that things had turned out the way they did, but I couldn’t help it. Really I couldn’t. I fiddled with the pen in my hands tapping it on the side of my leg, as if that would answer all my problems, but it didn’t. I sighed and closed my eyes and just as I was about to drift off the phone rang.
“What?” I snapped, because I really wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone, especially my friends.
“Is that the way to talk to your mother?” My mom’s voice said from the other end I sighed and opened my eyes.
“Sorry mom,” I apologized. “I thought you were someone else.”
“And who would that someone else be?” she asked although I knew she knew the answer. “Could it be Tiffany?” she asks after a while once I didn’t answer.
“You could say that, yes,” I said, and she sighed.
“Okay, what happened?” she asked, “Did you try and go see Morgan?”
“Yeah I did, but mom that’s not the worst part,” I said sighing.
“Really? What is then?” she asked with a concerned tone in her voice. I sighed and rubbed my eyes.
“Jayce married Tiff, and now Morgan thinks Jayce is his dad,” I said and waited for her to respond, but there was nothing but silence. I knew then what she thought, because yes she’d known from day one that Tiff was pregnant, and she was the one who tried to encourage me to stay but I didn’t listen did I? “Mom?”
“Lance,” she said in that tone that I knew she was going to up and lecture me. “I don’t know what to say. I mean, I don’t really blame her.”
“What?” I asked in utter shock and my mother sighed.
“Lance honey, you left her six years ago after finding out she was going to have Morgan. What did you expect? For her to just wait until the day you decided to walk back into her life?” my mother asked and I sighed, she had a point. “Lance, people move on, she moved on. And well, I am actually glad that she moved on to JC and not someone else. You should be grateful that one of you r friends was there to support her when she needed it most.”
“But mom,” I tried to protest but she wouldn’t have any of it.
“No Lance, no buts. You know what I’m saying is right. You’re just being a bit stubborn about it. If you don’t like it then you shouldn’t have left her when you did,” my mom said and it was then that I knew she was really upset about not being a true grandmother.
“I’m sorry mom,” I said in half a whisper but she caught it.
“Why are you apologizing to me? Honey Tiffany’s the one you should apologize to,” she said and I sighed.
“I know mom, I’m just sorry that you never got to be a real grandmother to Morgan,” I said and I heard her sigh.
“Lance, I’m sorry to. But we can’t change the past can we? All we can do now is try and change the future. And you can do that, if you plan on hanging around that is,” she said and I moaned, I knew what she was getting at but I didn’t want to go into that conversation with her.
“Thanks for the advice mom,” I said quickly and smiled. “I’ll call you later and tell you what time I’ll be dropping by tomorrow.” I wanted to be out of this conversation before it took a turn for the worst and she sensed it.
“Okay hon,” she sighed. “Call me later, and try and call Tiffany as well I think she’ll appreciate it.”
“Yeah right,” I muttered but my mother didn’t catch it. “Okay mom. Bye, love you give my love to dad and everyone.”
“I will honey, love you too bye,” she said and hung up. I sighed and replaced the phone, leaning back on the chair. I knew my mother was right, she was always right, but for some reason I didn’t want to admit it.
“Lance? Are you listening to me?” I snapped out of my daze and looked around me.
“Yeah C sorry?” I asked, Chris had come over, after much protest by me. But he had refused to go away, as usual, so instead of arguing I just let him in.
“I was asking if you really meant what you said that night at the club,” Chris said with a serious tone to his voice and I sighed and nodded silently.
“Yes and no,” I replied, because as much as I said I didn’t want to have anything to do with them I knew that would not be possible.
“Well good, because I ain’t going away and neither is Joe,” Chris said with a stern look on his face, I half smiled at his big brother attitude.
“C, you have to understand that what you guys did..” I began but he interrupted me.
“No Lance, what we did was right. It’s not our place to go and tell of Jayce’s business and you know that as well as I. That’s always been a rule with us,” Chris said and I nodded silently, I knew he was right.
“I know,” I whispered and Chris smiled.
“I know you do, that’s why I think you should go and talk about it civilly with Jayce, you may not want to but it’s what’s best, for the group,” Chris said, although we both knew that Nsync’s days were long over.
“I know I should C, but I can’t it’s just too hard right now,” I said and Chris nodded in understanding.
“I know Lance, but even for Tiffany’s sake and Morgan’s you need to talk with Jayce. It’s the only way things will get better, and we both know it,” Chris said and I smiled. I knew he was Tiffany’s best friend, he treated her like a younger sibling, but he also knew how she felt about me.
“I know,” I replied nodding and glancing at Chris. “But what if he doesn’t want to talk?” Chris smiled and patted me on the back.
“What do you mean?” Chris asked with a chuckle. “If we know anything it’s this, Jayce will talk to you, and you know it.”
Chris was right, he’s always right; I decided to go talk to JC. When I did all the dude did was look at me and tell me it’s alright, what I said, how I acted. That’s what bugs me the most about him, he’s always very forgiving and it can get him into trouble he doesn’t even know about.
“So...” I began and tried not to look at JC in fear that my eyes would give me away.
“So…” JC said as well trying to catch my eye.
“I think we should talk about this,” I muttered and heard him sigh.
“Me too,” he replied as he ran a shaky hand through his hair. “Look Lance, I didn’t mean to… I mean things just happened between Tiff and I, and well, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I managed to croak, although I knew it wasn’t, I glanced over at him but he shook his head.
“No it’s not, you’re still pissed,” JC answered softly, I dropped my head and cast my eyes down to my shoes guiltily.
“A little yeah,” I answered truthfully, “But I’ve realized that what happened could be put to blame partially by me.” I managed to only barely utter the last words, and as I did so there was a long silence that followed.
“Why did you leave her?” JC asked after a while and I shook my head, I didn’t know how to answer that.
“I was scared,” was all that came to mind, JC sighed, not believing a word I’d just uttered.
“Come on Lance, don’t lie to me,” JC said in a hurt tone. “You may no longer consider me as your brother or friend but I can still tell when you lie.”
“No, I do still consider you as a brother and a friend, I was just, I don’t know what I was thinking that night,” I replied quietly. It was then that I realized I didn’t want to, as much as I felt I should; loose these guys as my brothers.
“You had a right,” JC said softly and looked at me. I shook my head and managed to look at him.
“No I didn’t, all you were doing was being there for Tiff when I wasn’t, when I was too selfish to realize that I should have been there instead,” I replied and smiled at him. “Thanks.”
“Nah, don’t thank me man, you know you would have done the same thing,” JC said, “I mean if I was in your shoes.” I nodded at his last comment; I guess he was right; I would have done the same thing.
“I guess,” I whispered and he nodded. “But you fell in love with her.” I added it more as a fact than a question, he nodded solemnly.
“Yeah,” he squeaked looking guilty, and I nodded.
“That’s to be expected,” I replied and he looked at me in shock because even I hadn’t expected to say those words myself.
“I guess…” JC said his voice trailing off, and I just nodded.
“So what now?” I asked after a pause and he sighed.
“I guess we should go talk to Tiff, you know so we can figure out this whole mess,” he replied scratching the bridge of his nose out of nervousness. I nodded in agreement.
“Yeah okay,” I replied, so we did. Little did we know the drama that was tp await us there.
