Justin jiggled the keys into the keyhole before gently turning the doorknob. He slowly pushed the door open before stepping inside. Everything was still in the same place as they were the last time he had been there. He had been staying in a hotel in hiding staying as far away from this place. However he wasn't sure what brought him back.
He sighed strolling over to the small tabletop that held the answering machine and dropping his keys. A red light blinked at him that red "50" new messages. He knew they all had to be from friends and family. He already had another set of numerous messages on his cell phone. He pressed the play back button before walking into the kitchen and grabbing a can of beer.
A few minutes he appeared back in the living room taking a seat on the couch and lifting his feet up and resting them on the coffee table. His boyfriend JC however hated when he did that but he shrugged he wasn't here right now anyways. He popped open the can before taking a sip listening to messages play one after the other with the same comments that basically went somewhere along the line "Justin where are you?"
He just couldn't face it yet, everything that happened was just… no he couldn't go. He knew in his heart he should be there with JC, especially at a time he needed him the most but his mind just kept replaying the last time he spoke to JC and he just wish he could take back and change everything and when he said everything he meant everything including his pretend to the public girlfriend, Cameron.
A knock at the door brought him out of his thoughts. Who would be at his place he thought. He sat his half-empty beer can on the coffee table before slowly getting up walking to the door. He glanced through the peephole and his visitor was Lance.
"Shit" he cursed. He ran a hand through his soft short curls before pausing for a minute whether to open the door or not.
"J, I know your here now because your car is parked in the driveway" Lance spoke in a clear loud voice.
Justin sighed he gave in and opened the door, stepping aside letting the older man in.
Lance just barged in not bothering greeting his friend. "Where the hell have you been? You've got everyone worrying over your ass. And man you look like shit." Lance said looking his friend over who had dark circles under his eyed and full grown beard that ran from his chin down to halfway his neck, you could say he looked like a bum.
"Well hello to you to, Lance" Justin rolled his eyes before walking back to his spot on the couch and plopping down.
"Your just now listening to the million messages we've all left you? You better have a damn good excuse for being missing in action." Lance stood across from Justin arms across his chest.
"Just leave me the fuck alone and I don't have tell you a damn thing" Justin said through anger clearly annoyed his friend stormed in the way he did
"What is seriously going on with you, J? This is not like you to be away from C this long?" Lance said dropping his tone and arms down to his side.
"Well you haven't been around here long enough to know what things are like anymore." Justin said keeping up his annoyed tone.
Lance sighed figuring he was going to get nowhere. He took a seat in the recliner next to the couch. "Look Justin, JC was in pretty bad accident and now he's awake confused as heck why you aren't there, and of course no one has answers because the little boyfriend is nowhere to be found. I'm just glad after the many daily visits here I finally caught you."
Justin's breathing had stop for a second. "He's a..awake?" he slowly sputtered out.
"If you would answer your phone you would've known that by now. And yes he's been up for almost two days. Justin he's so scared and the one person he needs there and he's not."
"Look I just can't. I." Justin stopped dropping head feeling ashamed to look at Lance now.
"What is it? What's going on with you?" Lance urged on curious to his friend’s behavior.
"I said some pretty hateful things the last time I saw him and just I couldn’t. Can you please just go?" Justin said not wanting to breakdown and explain things yet.
"Justin as much as your sitting in this pity party you've created. You need to realize there is a person out there who needs you to be strong for him to guide him to get better. Whatever you’re doing is not good for you or him. I just hope you wake up soon enough and realize things don't revolve just around you all the time." With that Lance stood up and shook his head before heading towards the door leaving Justin to his thoughts.
Justin sighed. Lance was right in some ways as much as sitting here blaming himself wasn't doing him or JC any good. He just hoped that now that JC was awake he wasn't upset or yet angry with him still.
JC sighed placing the note pad he was writing on the tabletop next to him. He began to grow frustrated; he hated not being able to hear how can God take something so precious he loved away from him. He tried to watch the TV that was playing in front of him but it just wasn’t the same. Trying to watch TV without sound just ruined the whole point of watching without hearing the extra sounds he was use too. He sighed figuring he would eventually have to learn to adapt to the changes. Since he was now in the room alone he had tried to write. He had been left to his thoughts all day that he had thought he could jot down some song ideas but that recently didn’t last when he grew frustrated he couldn’t clearly hear the sound of his humming to the tunes in his head. Most of all he was just frustrated Justin wasn’t there. A tear slip down his face how could the one person he loved not be here the time he needed the most.
He closed his eyes hoping maybe a nap will be good since he was growing bored. His dad had finally got his mother to leave for a few hours to get some rest after he found out she had been literally glued to the chair sitting next to his bed waiting for him to wake. His friends, brother, and sister had been in and out many times visiting him since he been awake but now he was back to silence, well it was always silence for him the past two days but it really felt that way at the moment. He shrugged getting ready to fall into slumber when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He opened his eyes then turned to face the person who was now in his presence. After seeing the persons face he gasped in shock before turning angry half still upset he chose now to show up. He turned away closing his eyes before breathing in and out slowly hoping it would calm him down.
Justin sighed, he saw that look on his boyfriend’s face and it didn’t look like a ‘I’m happy to see you’ face.
“C, I’m sorry.” He said softly. He stood and watched as he friend still remained not facing him.
“C, I really am sorry” He placed his hand softly on JC’s arm then watched as the older man removed his arm from the soft grasp.
JC turned back to face Justin with tears stains down his face. “Why now, Justin? You know just go away.”
“I’m not going anywhere now. I was scared and I just reacted the wrong way and I’m here to make up from my mistake.” Justin said.
JC sighed not catching a thing he just said. “You know if you were here from the beginning you would know I can’t hear. Yeah that’s right Justin I’m freakin’ deaf!” JC said bitterly no longer holding back the tears.
Justin gasped feeling horrible taking a seat now and softly squeezing his boyfriend’s hand.
He just sat stunned he didn’t know what to say after hearing something like that.
“If you have something to say, write it!” JC said grabbing the notebook and shoving it in Justin’s hands.
Justin took the notebook and flipped it open and notice bunch or writing that looked like lyrics. He had to smile knowing that JC was still trying to think music even a time like this. He found a clean page then looked to the table and found a pen before writing a few words.
”I’m sorry about everything. I really am. I just reacted in a bad way to everything because I was scared. But after a few words from a good friend helped me realized things, I’m here now.”
JC glanced over the note. “What are you scared of?” He asked confused before handing the notebook back.
“Us” Justin turned the notebook to face him so he could see.
“Us? What do you mean I don’t get it?”
”You don’t remember?”
“Remember what?” clearly confused last thing he could remember is leaving the house and driving before seeing the approaching vehicle slam into his.
Justin shook his head. He thought to himself now may not be a good time to go there. He sighed before jotting down a few words.
”Just forget it. So how long are you gonna be here?” and with that he tried to change the subject not wanting to go back to that night just yet.
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