I continue to struggle through this thing called life. It seems as if reaching Heaven will never come. No family to support me—they’re all gone. All my friends have moved out of state and there’s no way to get me there without charity. I refuse to take someone’s deserved earnings for my pathetic situation. My dreams—I still have them, who wouldn’t? Broadway, record deals…that’s what I’ve always wanted. But it’s impossible at this point. I have to find a new place of my own by next week due to not being able to keep up with the rent of my apartment. I have no idea where I’ll go—it’s New York City. I’m afraid to live out on the streets, but it looks like that’s where I’m heading considering I can’t find another job. God, I hope my parents aren’t looking down on me right now. I’d hate for them to see me like this. Ever since the fire, my life’s been destroyed. I lost two people who actually cared for me. My sister is in an orphanage because I can’t take care of her let alone myself. Three years old and she lives in a place where she has no family. And it’s my fault. I promised her that I’d come back for her one day, when I would finally be able to care for her and help her achieve her dreams.
I look up from my journal as people start to scatter around the bus stop due to its arrival.
They say God always has a plan for everyone. Maybe mine’s just beginning. I don’t know how, I don’t know when, but someday it will come.
I close my journal and head towards the bus stop out of Central Park. I put my journal away as I’m walking. While I’m not paying attention, I collide into another person as I fall to the concrete ground.
A young, masculine voice speaks, “Oh my god, are you okay?”
As painful as it is for my head to handle right now, I sit up to see a young man with concern written across his face. He has brownish-blonde hair… a little red. He has a muscular built body type. But it’s his eyes that get my attention—ocean blue eyes that you could drown in.
And of course, I knock into him.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking and I was in a hurry to catch-”
I look over to the bus stop to find the passengers waiting to get on have left already.
“-the bus,” I groan as my head continues to pound with rage.
“Well let’s just say we were both in a hurry. I had to get away from my hotel before I went insane, so I decided to come here and here we are,” he chuckles a little.
I laugh along with him. And then we just stare at each other for a moment. It’s as if all my worries were being washed away…for a minute at least.
“Well…it was nice to bump into you…”
‘It was nice to bump into you?’ Very comical…am I nuts?! I run into this hot guy and all I can say is something ironic to the situation we’re in?
Nevertheless, he laughs, “It was nice to bump into you, too. I’m Justin.”
He reaches for my hand to shake and mine connects with it, “I’m Michelle.”
“Do you have a last name?”
“I don’t know, do you?” I tease back.
“You probably know it already…”
I get a confused face, “Sure…’cause I keep track of last names in the world in my phonebook…”
His laugh begins to enter my mind again, “Well then, it’s Timberlake.”
Timberlake…I like that. It’s original and unique. His whole name just seems to fit him perfectly.
“Mine’s Spencer.”
“I like that name,” he replies with a smile.
I continue to get a sea of butterflies in my stomach. I think this truly is my first, huge crush. Before the sea overflows, I realize I still need to find a way to get home.
“Well it was nice to meet you, Justin Timberlake, but I have to see if I can catch another bus.”
“Wait; let me take you where you need to go.”
“I couldn’t possibly do that; I’d feel guilty if I asked something from you-”
“But you didn’t ask, I did. It’s really not a problem, and I’ll feel guilty if you don’t accept my offer.”
I sigh. I guess it would save me the money, “Okay, if you say so.”
He smiles and as I start to get up, I realize that I’ve forgotten about my head and I lose my balance. I almost hit the bench until Justin catches me in time.
“Michelle, are you all right?!” he asks as he helps me sit on the ground again.
“I’m fine…” I say as I lose consciousness.
My name is the last thing I hear Justin shout before I pass out.
Three years later
“Michelle…baby wake up.”
I groan as I roll over and put my pillow over my head to try to fall asleep again. But that doesn’t last long as soon as I feel soft lips touch my neck.
I moan, “I hate you.”
My husband smiles against my skin, “I always did know your weak spot.”
I roll my eyes as I look at the clock.
“5:33?! Fool, why’d you wake me up THIS EARLY?!”
Justin laughs at me, “Because you told me to last night…right before we-”
“Okay, I know what happened next. Although I do need a shower because I stink like you.”
He pulls my body up against his and wraps his arms around my waist, “But that’s a good thing. I smell good.”
“You kiddin’, right? Cause personally, I think you stink like a skunk.”
“Stop being mean,” he whines.
“Oh get over it. I’m going in…boo,” I say as I escape his embrace and get up from the bed.
Justin shakes his head, “You and your gangsta talk again…where do you get that from anyways?”
I turn around with a sly grin on my face, “You.”
I go into the bathroom and turn on the shower. Before I get in, I wrap a towel around me and head back into the bedroom. I reach my husband’s side of the bed as he’s trying to fall asleep again. I bend down to his level and our eyes meet each others.
“If I’m getting up this early, you’re coming with me,” I smile with a devilish grin as Justin gets out of the bed and we lock the bathroom door once we’re inside.
May 15, 2005
Last night, I had a dream about the day I met my husband. As soon as we got out of the shower, I sat here on the bed and opened up to the page where I had written right before I met him and right after he dropped me off at my house the next day. It’s weird how I changed in one day, but it’s amazing how I’ve changed in three years. To look back in time and to say that I would end up marrying him—I would have told you to go get a reality check. A girl like me was set in stone to not have a happy ending. I got lucky. He’s everything that I’ve ever hoped for. It’s only been two months since we’ve been married and they’ve been the happiest. To know that when you wake up to see someone right next to you, who loves you, will always be there…it just fills my heart. Of course, our schedules can get in the way, but we both understand each other about that.
I look up as Justin enters the bedroom humming a tune as he heads to the drawer to pick out his clothes for the day.
This is the only part of my life that I’ve been happy about. I still grieve over my parents’ deaths. It’s still hard for me to deal with. Two days before the wedding, I cried because of the fact that my parents couldn’t be here to share my special day with me. I always pictured my father and me walking down the aisle together when I was a little girl. Justin just held me and said that they’d be there. And as I was walking down the aisle, I swear I saw my parents in one of the empty pews in the back smiling right at me.
“Baby, do you think this is too dressed up for a radio interview?” Justin asks as he shows me his outfit.
“No, it’s fine,” I say as I shake my head.
It seems that I’ll always have dreams about the past…which can be good. But sometimes I wish those things would just disappear in my mind and not return.
The phone rings and Justin goes to pick it up, “Hello? … How am I late, JC?! The radio interview isn’t until 7:30 and it’s only 7!”
I guess some things never do change, diary.
