Josh has sneaky ways; he makes it a hobby of his. To come around here, get me all worked up and then take my daughter to the zoo. I fought with him today, told him no, he could not take Sara to the zoo unless I was with him. Then he complained that he never got any quality alone time with her, and I told him that he was to blame for that.

Then he turned it on me, using Sara as a bargaining chip to get what he wanted. He made my own child tell me she wanted to go the zoo alone with daddy, and Josh knew that if Sara asked me for something I would never deny her. So I caved, I finally let her go with her sneaky ass father to the zoo. And as they were leaving he promised, swore on his mother’s gave, that he’d bring her back in two hours flat. It’s been three.

I should have known when he swore on his mother’s grave he was just saying it, it meant nothing. I mean the man doesn’t respect any one, let alone his parents, so why should he swear on their graves? God some times I am so gullible for his shit, I swear. And it gets me a headache and a lecture from Alex and my parents.

“How can you just let him take her?” Alex asks angrily as both him and my parents stare down my back and I panic for the safety of my child.

“She asked me if she could go with him,” I say feebly and Alex shakes his head.

“That because he’s using her for his own selfish reasons and you know it,” Alex says, “He knew you would cave once she asked you, we all know that.”

“Yeah but I didn’t know he would disappear with her for three hours,” I say and Alex laughs.

“Yes you did, this Joshy boy we’re talking about,” Alex says, “I told you he never keeps his word. Why would you listen to him?”

“Because he swore on his mother’s grave that’d he’d have her back in two hours tops!” I yell back and Alex rolls his eyes.

“He swore on his parents?” Alex asks angrily. “Geeze Lila, you know he couldn’t give a shit about them, what makes you think he does now?”

“I don’t know!” I cry and just as Alex is about to answer me the front door bursts open and in walks Josh with Sara, carrying I don’t know how many toys and balloon animals.

“Where the hell have you been?” Alex yells before I even get a chance to process anything.

“We were at the zoo,” Josh says simply walking past Alex. “Hello Mrs and Mr Hemi.”

“Josh,” my father answers in a level voice, “You were supposed to be back an hour ago.”

“Yeah, um, sorry about that, Sara wanted ice cream so we stopped and had some right honey?” Josh asks and Sara’s eyes light up.

“Yeah!” she squeals with delight. I get up and walk over to Josh, taking my daughter from him.

“Yeah well next time, if there will be a next time, call me and let me know. I was worried sick,” I snap and walk away to give Sara to my mother.

“Grandma!” Sara calls flying into my mother’s arms.

“Hey button,” my mother says and looks around the room, “Why don’t you, me and grandpa go outside and play? You can show us your toys daddy brought you?” Sara is excited beyond belief that someone wants to see the toys Josh brought her, she agrees and both my parents and child run off to inspect the toys.

“You can’t just take away my visitation because of one mistake,” Josh snaps once Sara and my parents are out of the room. Both Alex and I glare at him.

“One mistake too many Josh,” I state angrily glaring at him, “I was worried sick.”

            “What are you talking about? I have never been allowed to be alone with her without you there to watch like a bloody hawk!” Josh snaps and I look at him.

            “And you want to know why?” I ask angrily and Josh nods.

            “Yes, please enlighten me,” he hisses and I sigh.

            “Because of this. I always am there when you are with Sara because I don’t know if you’ll up and snatch her away from me as much as I know you would love to,” I retort and Josh laughs.

            “Oh please, as much as you would love that I’m not that kind of a father okay? I don’t deprive my child of seeing their parent,” Josh says and Alex buts in.

            “How do we know that Joshy boy? You haven’t been around for the past five years have you? We don’t even know why you care now, why do you care so much about Sara now Joshy boy?” Alex asks and Josh spins around to glare at him.

            “Stay out of this! You are not part of this, neither are you Sara’s father as much as I know you want to be,” Josh jeers, I swear Alex is about to pummel him into the ground.

            “I am part of this Joshy boy, whether you like it or not. I have been there from day one, unlike you,” Alex answers back angrily.

            “It’s not my fault I wasn’t there,” Josh answers and I laugh at that.

            “Then who’s fault was it Josh?” I ask him and he looks at me.

            “Don’t play dumb Lila,” he says, “You know you never wanted me in Sara’s life. I bet you were all too happy when I disappeared.”

            “Oh so now you’re admitting you disappeared?” Alex asks for me.

            “I was not happy when you up and disappeared Josh,” I say, “In fact I was so stupid I believed you when you said you would be there, I should have listened to Alex.”

            “What? Like always? Yeah, go ahead and listen to Alex,” Josh bites back and Alex grabs Josh by the collar.

“She doesn’t listen to me Joshy boy, she just takes my advice,” Alex states in a loud voice, “And if you’d actually grown balls and become a man then maybe she wouldn’t fall for all the shit that comes from your mouth.”

“Get your hands off me,” Josh snaps throwing Alex back, “I don’t have to answer to you or anyone else.”

“When it involves our child Josh you have to answer to me,” I say and Josh rolls his eyes. “Don’t do that Josh, because you know it’s true.”

“Fuck you,” Josh says and begins to walk out the door. “I’m not going to sit here and listen to you tell me I’m a bad father.”

“That’s because you are,” Alex says and Josh glares at him. “No matter how hard you try you’ll always be a bad father.”

“I’m sure a court will disagree with you there,” Josh tries and I roll my eyes.

“I’m sure they will Josh,” I say sarcastically and Josh nods.

“They will, so take your argument to them,” Josh states. “Then we’ll see who the bad parent here is.” And without even a goodbye to his child he leaves, not like we weren’t expecting it.

Sara asked me the other day where he oh so great slime ball of a father was, and I had no clue what to tell her. I mean, no one had seen Josh in over a week. Not even a phone call or a card. All traces of Josh had up and disappeared. So I lied and told Sara that her father was somewhere out of the country on business. She seemed to believe that, and then just as I got her settled on the idea that Josh was not in this country or the next, Josh had to call.

He said that the court date was set of two weeks time and I was to be ready, and he wanted to see Sara. Then he hung up. I was so quick after that, that I packed Sara up and took her to my parents. I asked them to look after her for a while whilst the trial was going on, there was no way I wanted that man near my child after what happened last time.

So now here I am, stuck with Josh and wondering what to tell him about here his child is.

“I told you I wanted to see her,” Josh says softly and I nod.

“Yes, but you didn’t say when,” I say, “I can’t just keep her on hold until you decide to pop in again.” I didn’t want to run the risk of telling him where she was.

“I said I’d be around soon, and here I am,” Josh replies but I shake my head.

“But you need to give me a date and a time Josh,” I say, “This arrangement is not going to work.”

“Fine, what if I tell you I’ll be around tomorrow at noon? And I want to see her then?” he asks hopefully and I shake my head.

“No, I need at least a week in advance,” I say, “Because tomorrow she’s going to be in school and has a ballet recital after.” Well at least that part was true.

“Then can I come to that?” He asks, and I sigh. Now I can’t exactly deprive him of that now can I? She will be on public property, and it is a school function.

“Okay fine,” I say, “But Alex will be there. And I don’t want you to try anything funny.”

“I won’t I promise,” Josh says with a smile and I roll my eyes.

“Don’t make your open ended promises to me Josh,” I say, “Because we all know you can’t keep a promise to save your life.”

“I’ll be on my best behaviour,” Josh replies, and then he does the most unexpected thing. He hugs me. “Thank you Lila.”

I stand there in shock as I watch him go. It was funny how whatever I said today didn’t irk his sleeve, and the fact that he actually thanked me for something, well that’s a first. We all know Josh does not thank, unless he wants someone to thank him, and so that was very strange. Now I know he’s got something up his sleeve, I just know it.

Now Josh actually was at Sara’s recital, and she was ecstatic. Alex on the other hand was so mad at me, he could not believe I invited Josh to Sara’s recital, but like I said to Alex, Sara was on public ground and Josh had every right to see his daughter in a school function.

Josh on the other hand, was on his best behaviour, just like he said and he was actually nice to Alex. All of Sara’s teachers loved him, because he played them like bloody fiddles. He praised their work with his child, and when asked where he’d been all those years he simply made up the excuse that he was very busy and had asked Alex to come along instead. Josh even made them believe he and I were married, and Alex and he were best friends. Alex almost had a cow at that, and I could just tell he wanted to beat the shit out of Josh but didn’t.

Justin and Rea were there too, and they kept their distance, but every now and again Alex would snake over to Justin and they’d whisper in hushed tones things about Josh. Honestly they were childish, but I was sticking to Rea, and we both had our eyes closely glued to our children in case Josh up and disappeared with them. Because Matt was not leaving Sara alone with Josh, and so if Josh wanted to leave with his daughter he’d have to take Justin’s son with him.

And thank God for us Josh did not disappear with Sara, instead he sat and mingled with the other parents, as if he’d known them his whole life. Everyone kept coming up to me, telling me how lucky I was to have a man such as Josh in my life, I laughed at that. They praised him, kissed his feet, acted as if he were some sort of second God.

On the way home, Sara couldn’t stop talking about how wonderful her father was and the fact that he’d been there. She said that al her friends were jealous of her because she had the best daddy in the world. If only they knew what a real ass he was. Sara told me that her father was the greatest and she couldn’t wait for him to come and be with us forever. I nearly slammed my foot on the break and had an accident at that

When I asked Sara what she meant she simply told me she didn’t know. Just that her precious daddy had told her that in a few weeks time we would be a family again. I just nodded and smiled and asked her if she really wanted that, and she said yes she did. I sighed and continued to drive home, all the way thinking about what Josh had told her.

He had manipulated her to think that we would be the perfect family in a few weeks, only did he forget to mention one small detail. I would not be in the picture if he got his way, and I’m sure Sara never even realised that is what her father meant.

We got home and I put Sara to bed, and as she laid her eyes closed I looked at her and wondered if Sara would ever see her father’s true skin. Because Josh has already played his sneaky mind games on her, even though he’d promised he wouldn’t.