Justin slowly opened his eyes, looked around drowsily. He couldn’t quite remember where he was, but after his vision cleared, he spotted the guest bed, empty, and he remembered.
He stood up quickly, grasping his head to stop the rush of blood. “Jamie?” He looked around, worried. He had stayed in the room all night, sitting in the rocking chair. He didn’t want to leave Jamie alone, not after the news she had received and the nightmare she had had…and because the rocking chair wasn’t the most comfortable place to fall asleep, he had a sore back and a migraine.
Justin checked the bathroom upstairs before going downstairs to check the rest of the house. He found her sitting in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee. She looked like she hadn’t slept a wink, and Justin figured he probably wasn’t far off.
“There’s more coffee over there, I just made a fresh pot.” Her voice was weak and quiet and it pulled at Justin like nothing before.
“James…” He walked over to her and stood next to her chair. “Come here.” He held open his arms and she stood, falling into him. He could feel her body shaking, a fresh set of tears soaking into his t-shirt. He held her tightly, trying his hardest to offer her some form of support and comfort. “I’m always here for you Jamie…don’t ever forget that.”
She pulled her head away from his chest and looked up at him. “I feel so alone Justin. I know that I have you and the others, but it’s not quite the same. I miss him. He was my father, and I wasn’t there when he needed me the most.” She sat back down again, wiping her eyes with a tissue. Justin sat next to her, grabbing her hand.
“I know I can’t take this back, and that I can only offer you my support, but I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through, and I’m not going to disrespect you by trying. But I am here for you.” She gave him a watery smile, and although it wasn’t much, he knew that she understood.
“Thank you.” Justin smiled at Jamie, and then leaned over to kiss her cheek.
“No need to thank me James.” He stood then, and went over to the counter. “How about some breakfast?”
“Sounds good to me…can you make pancakes?”
“Actually, I think I can do that.” He grabbed the ingredients from the cupboard, and started to make breakfast. He then remembered that he had to go back to Seattle that night, and he wasn’t sure what Jamie was going to have to say about that.
“James, I have to go back to Seattle tonight. I would love to stay here with you, but I really can’t cancel.
“Oh no, I couldn’t ask you to do that either.”
“Well, I just wanted to know what you wanted to do. You’re more than welcome to stay here as long as you want, but I don’t know how comfortable I am with leaving you here alone, to be completely honest.” She sat quiet for a moment before letting out a long sigh.
“I don’t think I would be able to stay here alone either. I don’t think I want to be alone right now.” She sniffled and blew her nose before going on. “I don’t really have anything left here. Dr. Mason has your number, and I can’t make any arrangements for the funeral right now. I want to go back with you Justin.”
Justin let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He smiled at Jamie and then set a plate of pancakes in front of her. “Eat up, don’t worry, they’re edible.” Jamie laughed slightly and then started to eat. Although Justin felt horrible about everything that had happened, it felt good to be able to be there for Jamie. He was glad that he could be her support again, as much as it pained him to see the look on her face every time she thought about her father, he was happy he could help in some small way.
Jamie and Justin reached Seattle later that afternoon. They were both tired and drained from the days before, and they weren’t really looking forward to spending the next few weeks on the road, but they were glad that they had each other.
It was about 4:00pm and Justin had a sound check at 6, so they both decided to just head up to their rooms and relax, or sleep.
When they reached the hotel a few people were waiting for them. Andy and another bodyguard got their bags as they headed into the lobby. Before Jamie could look around, she was being crushed in the grips of someone’s arms.
“What that - ?” She stumbled backwards from the weight of this person, but as soon as she caught scent of this person’s aftershave, she held on tighter.
“James Rylee…Why the hell didn’t you call me?” Luke stood back slightly, still holding on to Jamie. “I got a call from Justin the other night, and I’ve been worried sick about you.” Jamie glanced at Justin and smiled, knowing he was the reason Luke was here, but she turned her attention back to her friend.
“I’m so sorry Luke, I’ve been so out of it lately…” She looked down at the ground, fighting tears. Luke pulled her in again, trying to comfort her broken heart.
“It’s all right sweetie, I’m here now.” Justin cleared his throat behind them and motioned with his head toward the elevator.
“I think maybe we should head upstairs, that way you two can have some privacy.” Luke noticed the people that had started to gather and he nodded, leading Jamie towards the elevator.
When they got upstairs, Luke and Jamie went into her room, and Justin went into his. He was glad that Luke was here, because he knew Jamie needed his support, but part of him was jealous too. Justin wanted to be the one that she ran to, the one she turned to when she needed someone to talk to. He knew that Luke and Jamie had a deep past, and that she needed him right now, because Luke knew Jamie better than anyone else did…but it still felt uncomfortable to stand back and let another man comfort the woman he loved.
Justin sighed and sat down on the bed. Things were spinning out of control, and he had no idea how to stop them. He had been scared by the information that Dr. Mason had told them. The idea that someone had pretended to be Jamie made him sick, and he wondered who exactly was running his tour.
A knock on the door caused him to break from his day dreams and he looked up to see Jamie standing in the door way.
“I’ve got some pop corn…you want to catch a movie on Pay-per-view?” He smiled at her and got up.
“I’d love to.” He turned on the TV and sat back on the bed. Jamie sat next to him and handed him the bowl. “Where’s Luke?” Justin stopped on the preview channel to see what was on.
“He’s in my room. He’s going to take a shower and then get something to eat with Lance and JC.”
“Oh…” Jamie looked at Justin and smiled.
“What’s that ‘oh’ for?”
“Nothing, I just thought you and Luke would be doing something tonight. I mean, I thought that you two would want to talk, or something.” He shrugged and watched the movie selections scroll by.
“No…I told Luke that I wanted to be with you this afternoon, and he thought that it was a good idea too. And he just wanted to see JC…he said that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he eats.” Justin threw her a funny look and she laughed. “I tried to tell him that JC isn’t gay, but he’s bound and determined to bring the ‘gayness’ out of him by the end of his stay here.”
“How long is he staying?” Justin asked and Jamie shrugged.
“I don’t know. How long would you want him to stay?” Justin turned and looked at her.
“However long you’re going to need him here for support. He’s welcome to stay the whole tour, you know that James.” She smiled at him.
“I know…I just wanted to hear you say it. So…what movie are we watching?” he chuckled and glanced at the screen.
“Well…all I see for good movies are ‘Charlie’s Angels,’ ‘Maid in Manhattan,’ and ‘The Lizzie McGuire Movie.’ ” Jamie laughed and threw some pop corn at Justin.
“How about Lizzie…that looks good.” Justin gave her a dirty look and selected “Charlie’s Angels.”
“You just want to see those three girls in tight clothes.” Jamie commented and Justin grinned.
“Mmmm…I’d like seeing you in tight clothes more. Wanna role play?” Jamie stared at him before cracking up hysterically. She almost rolled off the bed when he started pouting. “Are you making fun of me?”
“Are you serious?” She laughed again, and it didn’t take long before he started to giggle too…and soon they were both sharing a full blown belly laugh.
After calming down, the two settled on the bed again, the bowl of popcorn half empty between them.
“Thanks Justin.” Jamie moved the bowl and slid over, taking Justin’s hand.
“For what?” He stared down at their joined hands, amazed at the tingles that still ran through his body at her slightest touch.
“For being you, and not giving up on me. I’m sorry for giving up on you…for a little while I was so lost in my own problems that I forgot what it felt like to be loved. Thank you for loving me, and being here for me.” Justin looked up and Jamie and smiled.
“Anytime James…anytime.” He kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms around her. They snuggled together on the bed before falling asleep in each other’s arms.
Everyone walked around the arena, getting ready for the show. They were all relieved to have Jamie back, but they were all worried because they didn’t know what was really going on. Jamie had been quiet, sticking to either Justin or Luke, and they all knew that she was still deeply hurt and that it would be taking a very long time before she was back to normal.
No one had asked what went down in Orlando. All of the guys knew there was more to it than just Jamie’s father getting sick and passing away. There was something hidden behind Justin’s attempts to act normal, and behind Jamie’s feeble smiles and reassurances that she was all right. Something heavy had settled over the *NSYNC camp, and there were only two people that knew, yet no one was talking.
Justin had thought long and hard about what Dr. Mason had told him. A deeper hatred for Dave had started to seethe inside him, but the man was no where to be found. In fact, neither Dave Malloy nor Grace Freeman had been seen around in the past few weeks. Supposedly, they were back in Orlando dealing with promotions and other tour related things that couldn’t be attended to if they were actually on tour. Justin believed that Grace was probably doing what she said she was, but he had a strong suspicion that Dave was up to no good.
Justin had decided that he needed to talk to one of them. He would have preferred to talk to Grace, because he wasn’t afraid that he’d punch her in the face like he would Dave, but either one would do. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was going to say, but he knew that something needed to be done, and fast. Jamie was trying her hardest to forget everything that had happened, but he knew that what she had been told was eating her alive, and he wasn’t sure how much longer she would be able to hold out.
He paced around the room, his cell phone stuck tightly to his ear. He had been listening to classical music for the past five minutes and it was starting to get on his nerves.
“Thank you for holding…We’ll be right with you.” Justin growled and hung up. JIVE really needed more secretaries.
Justin threw his phone into his bag and sat hard on his bed. A knock on the door caused him to jump slightly, and Chris poked his head in the door.
“Hey man, what’s up?” He stepped in the room and closed the door behind him.
“Chris, what do you think of Grace and Dave?” Justin looked up expectantly, as if Chris was going to have all the answers he needed.
“Uhm…I don’t really know. They haven’t been around too much, but they seem OK to me. Why?”
“I don’t like Dave.” Justin stated simply, and Chris gave him a strange look.
“Why not? I mean, I know about the cell phone thing, and then how he was strange with Jamie, but he hasn’t been around much more than that.” Chris sat down in a chair across from Justin and waited to hear what was on his young friend’s mind.
“He’s too comfortable with this situation. Most people that come into something new wait until they’re familiar and they’re given the ‘OK’ from everyone else around them. Dave came in here and just took over like it had been his job from the start. Even Grace took time to get to know us…and she didn’t seem all that comfortable taking Johnny’s job…Dave seems ready to rule the world.”
Chris stared at Justin for a moment, his mouth slightly open. He had no idea that Justin had made these assumptions, or cared that deeply. Something was going on and Chris wondered what Justin had gotten into.
“Maybe he’s just assertive. Grace probably hired him to be her assistant because he wasn’t afraid of new situations. To be in the business, you can’t let something new scare you.”
“It’s not the job…it’s how he was with us.” The young man stood and started to pace slightly, speaking out his thoughts as he walked the floor. “He came in here like he had worked with us for years, and he wasn’t very friendly either. He didn’t come in here like he was our old manager and he wanted to be friends with us…No, he came in here like he owned the place and he wanted to rule us. Especially Jamie.”
Finally it stared to dawn on Chris what was bothering Justin so much.
“Justin, Dave isn’t interested in “ruling” Jamie, as you put it. I’m sure he’s just over zealous, and he didn’t realize that he was coming on strong. That’s probably why he hasn’t been hanging around. If I were you I’d be happy that I hadn’t seen the man lately.”
“You didn’t hear the things the doctor told us, Chris. You didn’t see the fear in Jamie’s eyes as she heard how her father died. If anything, I should be worried by Dave’s absence because we don’t know what he’s up to…and we can’t stop him if he’s planning anything else.”
Suddenly it was more than just a dislike on Justin’s part, and Chris could see in his eyes that he was truly afraid of this man and what he was capable of. The only thing Chris didn’t know was why.
“Justin…what happened back there? In Orlando? Jamie came back here and she acts as if she’s afraid of everyone but you and Luke…and now you’re talking like the end of the world is near. What happened?”
Justin looked up at his friend and knew that he should start giving answers, but he wasn’t sure that he was capable of doing that yet. He needed more answers, he needed more to go on before he brought even more people into the equation. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Chris to know…but he wanted to talk to Jamie about it first because he wanted her to be comfortable with other people knowing.
He watched Chris for a few moments before speaking quietly. “I can’t tell you what happened…not yet. I need to figure some things out first, and I need to make sure I can handle this. I don’t want to bring you into this if you don’t need to be…I don’t need more people to get hurt.” Chris nodded slightly and looked down at the floor. He knew that this was deeper that just the hurt of losing someone. He knew that there was much more to this story than anyone knew…and he knew that it must have been serious for Justin to want to keep it from the people he trusted the most.
“I know you like to do things on your own…but I’m here Justin. We all are. If you ever need anything, if Jamie ever needs anything, all you have to do is ask and we’ll do the best we can. Please, don’t get into something that you may not come out of.”
Justin nodded and stood, bringing Chris into a hug. “I’ll be careful…I may not know what I’m doing, but I’ll be careful. I’ll have things figured out and as soon as I’m sure about this, I’ll tell you and the others, but I can’t do that yet, not until I know.”
Chris hoped, for Justin’s sake, that he was right.
