Containing the song “To Make Her Love Me” as performed by Rascal Flatts in its entirety
and a portion of “I Could Not Ask For More” as performed by Edwin McCain
*Two or three words have been changed to help the song fit more fluidly with the story

“Get some sleep, Hailey.  Tomorrow’s gonna be a long day.”

She smiled up at him.  “I think you probably need it more than I do, Justin.”

“You’re right.”  He grinned and leaned down to give her a hug before stepping away and heading in the direction of his room.

He only made it a couple of steps before he looked over his shoulder.

“And don’t forget to call Steve tomorrow.  He’s probably got the neglected boyfriend act ready for you.”

She laughed and shook her head, sending her brown hair swishing around her shoulders as she slid her key card through the slot.

“I won’t.”  She waved as she stepped through the door.  “Good night.”

He snickered as the door clicked shut behind her, turning back to open his own door.

He brought his wrist up to check his watch, yawning as he fumbled with the key card in his pocket.

3:30.

It’d been awesome to be able to actually get out and enjoy the nightlife in New York.  

But it was going to be torture in the studio tomorrow . . . or today, however you wanted to look at it.

And he still hadn’t shaken that uneasy feeling he’d had all day.

He kept feeling as though he was missing something, as though he’d forgotten something.

Something important.

But, whatever it was . . . he just couldn’t get a handle on it.

He shook his head, sliding the card through the slot and narrowing his eyes when he received a dull buzz and a red light from the automatic lock.

He looked at the key in his hand and rolled his eyes before turning it around and sliding it through the slot again.

The lock opened and he laughed softly as he pushed his way into the room that would be his home for the next three weeks.

To be honest, he was surprised that he could even remember his own name at this point.

The recording was in full swing and Jive had given them considerably more freedom with this record.

It was going to be all them . . . their words, their arrangements, their input on the production and mixing.

A true *Nsync record.

And they were doing everything they could to make sure that it would leave their mark on the music industry.

They’d been working themselves into the ground for the past five months, first in L.A., then in Nashville, then back to L.A. and now here.

He yawned and ran a hand through his hair, reaching out to turn on the lights as he moved directly for the bed and a few hours of precious sleep.

He’d gotten as far as taking off his shirt when he caught a flash of something out of the corner of his eye.

He turned to face the sitting area of the room, his eyes narrowing at the mess on the coffee table.

He walked closer, his eyes widening at the pile of pictures scattered across the tabletop.

He took in the mess -- photos, cell phone, pieces of paper -- and shook his head in confusion.

Then he focused on a photo at the edge of the table . . . and he froze.

He picked it up and stood there for several minutes, staring at the glossy photo of himself and Hailey in a lip lock, grinding against each other on the dance floor of a club in L.A. -- and looking like they were just having a grand old time.

Reaching out, he pulled several other photos from the mess, his breath coming faster as he saw a variation of the same scene in each one.

He shook his head, dropping down onto the couch and reaching for the pages on top of the pile.

His eyes moved over the top sheet in his hand and he could have sworn that his heart stopped beating.

Hey J.

Guess I missed you.  

We needed to talk, but, to be honest, I think these say everything.

Hope you had fun.

-- V

His hands were trembling when he turned to the second page and by the time he was finished with that one, he was fighting to breathe.

Valerie.

She’d been here.

When had she been here?

He flipped the pages over and over as if they would help him figure out the answer.

The papers drifted back down to the table when he released them, leaning back on the couch to comb his fingers through his hair.

The vague memory of a phone conversation sprang into his mind . . .

“I’ll be on United flight #2665, landing at LaGuardia at 8:30 on the fourth.”

“Okay.”  He said absently, frowning at the lyrics in front of him.

“Did you get that?”

“Yeah.”  Something about these words just didn’t sound right, but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

“Prove it.  What did I just say?”

“Huh?  I’m sorry, babe.  What did you just say?”

She sighed.  “Me.  Coming to see you.  New York.  United flight #2665.  LaGuardia.  8:30 PM.  June fourth.”

“Oh, right.  Whatever you say, babe.  Listen, I’ve got to go.  Love you.”

“Oh, my God.”

He’d forgotten her.

Again.

He’d forgotten her . . . and someone had sent her these pictures.

Who’d sent them?  When?

He leaned forward and dug through the pile of pictures, his fingers finding the edge of a large envelope.

He pulled it out, sending a few of the photos to the floor, and looked it over.

It was postmarked for a week and a half ago from California, which meant that she’d probably gotten it three or four days ago.

He swallowed hard, fighting down the panic, and reached for the cell phone.

His eyes quickly scanned the note stuck to the casing.

Open Me.

Taking a deep breath, he flipped open the phone.

His eyes widened at the wallpaper that popped up on the screen . . . the image of him hugging Hailey as they were leaving tonight.

He focused on the words across the bottom of the picture . . .

Having fun?

He dropped the phone down on the table and sank back against the cushions, his mind flying in a million directions.

She’d had the pictures for days.

Obviously, she’d wanted to talk to him about them, since she’d brought them with her.

He’d forgotten her at the airport.

From the picture on the phone, it was an easy guess that she’d been in the lobby as they were leaving for the club, which meant she’d probably just gotten to the hotel, several hours after her flight had been due in.

He knew she’d probably been furious . . . but she had one of the coolest tempers he’d ever known.

So . . . why hadn’t she stuck around to hash it out?

“I’ll forgive you for a lot of things, J, but if you ever cheat on me . . . it’s over.”

The words rushed at him, a distant memory of a conversation they’d had what seemed like centuries ago.

He sat straight up, the words echoing in his mind as his eyes traveled over the mess on the table.

The photos, each image misleading, looking to be many different kisses rather than the single kiss that Hailey had planted on him in a drunken stupor.

How they’d gotten that many different angles in the short time that it had taken for him to push her away, railing her for her stupidity, was beyond him.

He shook his head, turning his eyes back to the phone, the digital wallpaper seeming to glare at him.

She’d taken that picture for a reason . . .

“. . . if you ever cheat on me . . .”

He shook his head in denial.

Surely she hadn’t thought that he was . . . she knew him better than that.

He looked back at the photos.

The words echoed in his head and he looked back at the phone.

“. . . if you ever cheat on me . . . it’s over.”

He shook his head again, his gaze traveling over the table yet again.

Over the pictures, the note, the song, the cell phone . . .

The gold band.

The room tilted, and he blinked against the dizzying rush.

“No . . . please, God.”

His heart in his throat, he reached out, picking up the ring.

He closed his eyes when he saw the familiar engraving on the outer curves, swallowing hard when he let his fingertip slide around the interior of the band.

His heart twisted when he felt the engraved words and he could actually feel his world shatter into pieces.

“. . . it’s over.”

“No. No, no, no, no . . .”

He jumped up and rushed over to the table by the bed, snatching up the room phone and dialing for the front desk.

Five minutes later, he slammed the phone down, growling in frustration.

She wasn’t in the hotel . . . she hadn’t checked into a room.

He didn’t think she would have tried to get a room somewhere else . . . it had been too late for her to really get in anywhere.

So where was she?

Would she have talked to anybody here?

Who would have gotten her up on the floor, into his room?

Mike.

Mike would have let her up, past the hotel staff.

He flipped open his cell phone and hit three on speed dial.

It rang a few times and then . . .

“Somebody had better be dying.”

“Mike . . . where is she?”

“What?”

“Valerie.  Where is she, Mike?  I know you saw her earlier.”

“Last I saw her, she was getting settled over there in your room.”

“Well, she’s not here now.”

“Wait . . . run that by me again.”  Mike’s voice had gone from sleepily annoyed to alertly concerned in seconds.

“She’s gone.”

“It’s four in the morning.  Where would she go?”

Justin sat down on the bed, running a hand over his face, trying to think of anywhere she could have gone.

He sat straight up when it hit him.

“She went home.”

“What?”

“She went back to Florida.”  He jumped up, moving to the closet and grabbing a bag.  “And I’m going after her.”

“What?  Justin, you can’t just leave.  Not now.  You’ve got a schedule to keep.”

“Screw the schedule.  Tell them I had an emergency.  The guys will understand.”

“Justin . . .”

“I can’t lose her, Mike.  I can’t.”

A sigh carried over the line.  “You can’t leave, Justin . . .”

“Just try and stop me.”

He clicked the phone off and started tossing things into the bag until it was full, not caring if he was getting everything he needed.

He leaned down, grabbing his previously discarded shirt and putting it back on.

He slung the bag over his shoulder and looked around the room once more.

He strode back over to the coffee table, gathering up the pictures and papers and sliding them into the envelope before tossing her phone into his bag and slipping her ring into his pocket.

Then he was running out the door without looking back.

----------------------------------------

“I haven’t heard from her, Justin.”

He tried to keep his attention on the road as he turned through the intersection.

“If she calls or shows up, will you please tell her to call me?”

“Can’t you call her yourself?”

“No.  She left her phone in my hotel room.  She’s not picking up at the house.  She hasn’t called you or mom.  I don’t know how else to get a hold of her.”

“Justin, I can’t believe that she would just up and leave like that.”

He sighed.  “Well, I’m not making this up.  Her ring is in my pocket.”

“If she’s that upset about such a little thing . . .”

“It’s not a little thing.  I forgot that she was coming up to New York.  I forgot her again, Pat.  If I were her, I’d hate me, too.”

She was silent for a minute and he could practically hear her mind working.

“I know my daughter, Justin.  If she’s upset enough to break up with you, then there’s something major going on.”

“She thinks I’m cheating on her.”

“Why on Earth would she think that?”

He pulled to a stop at another red light and sat back.

“We were at a club in L.A. a couple weeks ago and one of the girls who works with us had too much to drink and kind of threw herself at me.”

“Threw herself at you?”

“She kissed me in the middle of the dance floor.  And someone had a camera . . . I still haven’t figured out how they got so many pictures of it.  One minute we’re dancing and talking, the next she’s jumping me. She caught me by surprise, but I pushed her away from me as soon as I realized what was happening.”

“She doesn’t read the gossip rags, Justin.  How would she even know about it?”

“They weren’t printed in a magazine.  Someone mailed the pictures to her.  Well, not to her, but to the house.  Pat, there’s got to be somewhere between fifteen and twenty pictures there.  They’re date stamped, but not time stamped, so there’s no way that she knows it didn’t last more than a minute.” 

“But, Justin . . .”

He pressed on the gas when the light changed, continuing his thoughts as if she hadn’t spoken. 

“And then, as if that isn’t enough, when she finally made it to the hotel last night -- more than three hours after she landed, thanks to me -- she was in the lobby as we were headed out and saw me hugging the same girl.”

“Does she know this girl?”

“I think she’s met her before.  Hailey works with our management company. She takes care of our appointments and scheduling and stuff.  She’s dating Steve, Joey’s brother.”  He sighed.  “They had a fight while we were in L.A. and she was trying to drink her problems away.  I swear, Pat, she’s a friend and nothing else.  I wouldn’t do that to Val.”

“I know you wouldn’t, Justin.  If there’s anything that’s obvious, it’s how much you love my little girl.”  She paused.  “So that leaves us to figure out why she didn’t even stick around to talk to you.  Was anything wrong?”

“I don’t really know.  We’re recording, so I’ve been out of it lately.  I always do that . . . lose touch with everything else when we’re working on an album.  She knows that.”  He thought for a minute.  “It’s been worse this time, though.  I know it has.  They’ve given us a lot more creative control than we’re used to, so we’re working as hard as we can on this project.  I’ve been distant and distracted.  I haven’t been able to call her as often as I’d like to.  And when I have been able to call, I just can’t seem to focus on what she’s saying because I’ve got a million other things going through my mind.”

“Now I think I can see where she would get the wrong idea.”

“Yeah, me too.  If I can just find her, get her to listen . . .”

“How are you going to find her from New York?”

“I’m not in New York.  I chartered a private flight and got to Orlando about an hour ago.”

“You’re in Orlando?  But what about the recording schedule?”

“I don’t really care about the recording at this point.  When I saw that she’d left her ring . . . I got out of there as fast as I could.”  He made the turn into the gated community, sending a brief wave to the gate attendant.  “Listen, I’m turning into the driveway.  She might still be here.”  He swallowed.  “If she’s not . . . if you hear from her, please try to get her to call me.”

“I will.”

“Thanks, Pat.”

He clicked off the phone and sped up the circular driveway, pulling right up to the front door and jumping out of the car before the engine had died down, sprinting for the door, fumbling in his pocket for his keys.

“Please, God . . . let her be here.”

He breathed a quick prayer as he unlocked the door and walked quickly through the foyer, pausing only to punch in the code for the alarm system.

“Valerie!  Val!”

His calls echoed through the hallways, then left him standing in an eerie silence.

He started walking through the house, looking for any sign that she’d been there this morning.

On the table in the kitchen, he found her set of keys lying next to a note.

The car is in the garage.  Hope you like the house.

He picked up the keys as he read the note, the realization that she’d left her car keys and the keys to the house behind knocking his hopes down a level or two.

Clutching the keys, he walked back to the door that opened into the garage and, sure enough, there was the car he’d gotten her for Christmas.

He moved around his truck until he was standing by the smaller car, the metal keys clinking together as they dangled from his fingers.

Sighing, he ran his hand over the hood.

She’d absolutely loved this car . . .

Her eyes widened as she looked into the small box. 

“You didn’t.”

He grinned as she pulled the keys out and let the box drop next to her onto the couch.

“What if I did?”

She raised her eyes to his.

“Justin . . . I don’t . . .”

He laughed softly and stood, holding his hand out to her.

“Come on, let’s go see what Santa left for you.”

He pulled her up and draped his arm around her waist as he led her out to the garage.

He flipped on the lights and had to laugh when she froze in her tracks and covered her mouth with her hand.

“No way.  A BMW?”

He stood back and grinned as she walked forward, staring at the car.

She reached out and ran a hand over the dark green hood, as if testing to make sure it was really there before turning back to him.

“You seriously got me a BMW?  Like, to drive?”

He arched an eyebrow at her.  “Well, it’s definitely not sitting there just to look pretty.”

She looked at the car for a moment longer and he could see the smile spreading across her face.

Her fingers came up to play with the huge red bow lying across the car’s roof. 

“Well, this totally blows the watch I got you out of the water.”

“Are you kidding?”  He looked down at the silver- and gold-plated watch she’d fastened on his wrist just minutes earlier.  “This is exactly what I wanted.”

She bounced on her toes, giggling excitedly, before turning and taking three quick steps toward him, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing his cheek.

His arms tightened around her waist, lifting her off the ground in a bear hug.

“Do you like it?”

She pulled back and looked at him incredulously.

“Do I like it?  I love it.  It’s fabulous.”  She looked over her shoulder at the car, then back to him.  “I’m almost afraid to drive it.  Why a BMW?”

“Because my woman is going to ride in style.  And I knew that you’d look great sitting behind the wheel.”

She laughed and kissed him on the cheek again.  “Yeah, okay.  Why’d you really get it?”

He grinned innocently at her.  “Because I figured I needed something major to take the place of the old Ford that I had towed off last night.”  

Her eyes widened in shock.  “You had my car towed?”

He nodded sheepishly and she shook her head, laughing.

“Thank you, J.  It’s fantastic.”

“You’re most welcome, my Val.”

He smiled again before leaning down and covering her lips with his, sighing when he felt her fingers trailing along the back of his neck.

She leaned back, her eyes lighting up when they met his.

“Merry Christmas, J.”

He pulled her close, kissing her forehead.

“Merry Christmas, baby girl.”

The image stayed in front of him for several seconds before fading away, leaving him alone in the garage.

He looked down at his wrist, at the watch he’d worn every day since she’d given it to him.

He unhooked the clasp, letting the cool metal of the band slide across his skin as he lifted it up to read the engraving across the back covering.

He ran his finger across the words, swallowing hard.

Baby girl.

In the five years they’d known each other, it was the only time she’d ever called herself that.

To be honest, he’d never called anybody that . . . until her.

They’d gotten into a silly argument during one of their first writing sessions -- he’d wanted to use the phrase in the chorus of a song and she’d thought it was absolutely ridiculous.  He couldn’t remember exactly how they’d gone from arguing playfully to kissing on the couch, but he’d never forget kissing her for the first time.

On that couch, in that office . . . he’d seen and felt heaven.

If there’d been any doubt after those kisses, he’d known for sure that he was a goner after their first date.  Whether she’d meant to or not, she’d gotten him.  Hook, line and sinker.

He’d fallen for her so hard and so fast that he couldn’t even pinpoint the exact moment it had happened . . . he’d just blinked and realized that he was completely in love with her.

He smiled, his finger running over the words again as he thought of the first time she’d said the words to him.

They’d been together about six months.  She’d come out to visit when they’d had a few off days and he’d dragged her off to a local state fair . . .

“Oh, good Lord.”

“Are you okay, Val?  You look a little green.”

She forced her eyes away from the ground and looked at him.

“Have you noticed how high up we are?  And how flimsy this harness is?”  She looked over at the attendant who was buckling the double harness in place around them.  “Is this thing really supposed to hold us both?”

The attendant nodded, laughing as he tugged on it to test the buckles.

Her wide eyes turned to the sky.

“Justin, are you sure you want to do this?”

He laughed at her terrified expression.

“I never knew you were afraid of heights, Val.”

“I’m not afraid of heights.  I’m afraid of falling.  And dying.  But not heights.”

“It’s just a bungee jump, Val.  You’ll be holding on to me the entire time.”

She watched as the attendant moved back from the edge, reaching for the lever to drop them.

“J?”

He tightened his arms around her as her eyes bounced quickly from the ground to the mega screen that would show an up close view of their journey down to the spectators around the park.

“Yeah?”

Her eyes finally met his again.

“If we die . . . or if I have a massive coronary on the way down . . .”

“Nobody’s going to die, babe.”

“Well, just in case . . . I love you.”

His eyes focused sharply on her.

“Is that the fear talking?”

“No, it’s all me.  I love you, Justin.”

She saw the attendant’s hand squeezing the lever and tightened her arms around his waist, hiding her face in his chest.

“Hey . . .”

He tightened one arm around her and raised one hand to turn her face up.

He lowered his head and caught her lips with his just as the platform dropped away, sending them tumbling toward Earth.

As they fell, he deepened the kiss, keeping her mind on things other than hitting the ground, holding her tightly as they flipped upside down.

He smiled against her lips when he felt her let go of the back of his shirt and bring her hands up to his hair, pulling him even closer as the cord reached its limit and pulled them upward again.

Only when he was sure the bouncing had ended did he pull back from her and run his fingers through her hair, just vaguely aware of the cheering crowd below them.

“Say it again, Val.”

“I love you.”

He grinned and leaned his forehead against hers.

“I love you too, baby girl.”

He read the words one last time before fastening the watch around his wrist once more.

In the beginning, he’d set out to show her what it felt like to be someone’s ‘baby girl’ . . . or, at least, what he thought it should feel like.

He may have shown her a few things, but she’d shown him so much more over the years.

She’d shown him how it felt to get completely lost in someone . . . to be so close to someone that you knew exactly what they were thinking before they even thought it . . . to want to drown in someone’s eyes . . . to know that, whenever you fell, someone would be there to pick you back up and help you start again . . . to want to do anything just to get that person to smile . . . to know that someone entrusted their heart to you with absolute, unfailing faith.

She’d shown him how it felt to be wanted, to be needed . . . to be loved unconditionally.

Taking a deep breath, he shook his head and stepped back into the house to make his way upstairs, dropping her keys back on the table as he went by.

He walked through the hallways, opening and closing doors, learning where everything was as he moved from room to room.

The spare room that she’d been using had been emptied out, all her clothing and personal items gone.

He checked the master bedroom, only to find what clothes he’d left behind hanging in the closet and everything else in perfect order.

Well . . . almost in perfect order.

He could see a rumpled section on the comforter covering the bed.

She’d been sitting there. 

He moved over to the spot, running his hand over it, smoothing out the wrinkles.

Why would she sit there?  What had she been looking at?

He turned and found himself facing the mirror above the dresser.

He looked down, his eyes landing on a jewelry box.

Walking over, he reached out and lifted the lid, his eyes widening when he saw the earrings, bracelets and necklaces carefully sorted out into different compartments.

Of all the jewelry he’d bought her, the necklaces had always been her favorites.

His fingers sifted through the long golden chains until he found the one he was looking for.

He bit his lip as he pulled it out of the box, the memory of her twenty-second birthday coming to him immediately . . .

“Oh, wow . . . it’s beautiful, Justin.”

She lifted the necklace from its box and trailed her fingers over the gold chain until she met the pendant hanging on the end.

“The pendant is . . . odd.  A box?”

He grinned, taking the necklace from her and fastening it around her neck.

“Not just a box, Val.  Check this out.”

He pressed on the back panel of the tiny gold box, his eyes coming up to her face as a melody tinkled into the room.

“It’s a music box.”  Her eyes widened as she recognized the tune.  “And it’s playing our song.”

He only nodded as he pulled her to him, swaying with the slow music, humming into her ear.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and grinned into his shoulder when his humming became soft singing.

I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered, every dream I have's come true
Yeah, right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you, here with me

His hands came up to cup her face, pulling her away from his shoulder so that he could meet her eyes, his thumbs moving back and forth across her cheeks as he sang the final bars.

I could not ask for more than the love you give me
‘Cause it's all I've waited for . . .
And I could not ask for more.

The music stopped, but he continued swaying with her for a few moments, his arms coming down to hold her to him, smiling when her hands moved up to rest at the back of his neck.

“That’s so sweet, J.  Thank you.”

“Happy birthday, baby girl.”

His arms tightened around her in a hug, and she rested her cheek against his chest, breathing deeply.

“Hmm . . .  I think I’d take you over Edwin any day.”

He laughed at her dreamy sigh, his hands moving to settle at her waist as an evil grin lightened his features.

“But Edwin has that voice.”

She looked up at his mocking tone and grinned.

“Yeah . . . but yours does that shivery thing to my spine.”

He arched an eyebrow at her.

“Really?  Shivery thing, huh?”

Her smile turned playful and she raised one hand to run her fingers through his hair.

“Not to mention that you’re gorgeous.”

“Gorgeous?  Come on, babe, you can do better than that.”  He turned his head to look at their reflection in the window.  “I like to think of myself as a dead sexy beast.”

She rolled her eyes.  “Oh, yeah . . . especially since you’ve been bulking up.”  She reached up and squeezed one of his arms, then pressed her hand to his chest, her fingers flexing on the toned muscles underneath his shirt.  “You used to be soft and cuddly, but I think you’re all muscle now.”

His eyebrow arched again and he hugged his arms around her. 

“Is that such a bad thing?”

“Nope.  Not at all.  I kind of like it that my sexy beast has a six pack.”

She flicked a finger against his stomach and fought to hold on to a straight face, but just couldn’t.

He grinned at her laughter, pulling her closer and leaning down so that his lips could graze her neck as he spoke. 

“Enough about my sexiness. I think I’d like to find out more about this shivery thing you’ve got going on.  Is it only voice activated?”

“Why don’t you find out for yourself, sexy?”

“Maybe I will.”

His hands moved around to her back, his fingers spreading to span the muscles around her spine as he began a trail of light kisses from her neck, over her jaw and to the corner of her mouth.

He paused just inches from her lips, his eyes skipping over her features.

“Do you have any idea how much I love you?”

Her eyes opened at his voice and she smiled at him, burying her fingers in his hair.

“I think I have an idea.”

She raised her chin and closed the distance between them, locking her lips to his.

He kept his senses long enough to recognize the little tremors in the muscles beneath his fingers, then lost himself completely.

He couldn’t remember seeing her without this necklace since he’d given it to her.

He’d loved seeing it hanging around her neck, knowing that she cherished the memories it presented as much as he had.

Now he stood still, alone, letting the chain dangle from his fingers.

His hand came up and his fingers pressed gently against the back of the pendant, sending the song playing through the quiet room.

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out her ring, holding it up so that the overhead light played off the curves of the band.

He’d never bought her a ring before this one, making sure that when he’d finally slipped a ring on her finger, she’d known that he was seriously committed to her, not just giving her another piece of glittering decoration.

His eyes turned over to the double doors that led out to the balcony overlooking the back yard.

Asking her to marry him had been the easiest, scariest, most natural thing he’d ever done . . . and when she’d said ‘yes’, it was as if she was handing the world to him.

His eyes traveled back over to the necklace before letting his fingers fumble with the clasp, opening it and sliding the ring on the chain so that it hung with the music box.

Once the chain was fastened around his neck, he tucked it under his shirt, the metal cool against his chest, and headed out the door.

He was feeling breathless and dizzy as he walked back down the hallway, and he checked his watch.

10:30.

The weariness of having been awake for over twenty-four hours was bad enough, but add to it the stress and panic of the last several hours and he was dead on his feet.

He paused, seriously considering going back into his bedroom and taking a much needed nap, but lost that idea when he saw a note stuck to one of the doors.

The writing was neat, so he knew that she hadn’t written it this morning, when she was so upset.

Can we start trying as soon as it’s official?

His eyes narrowed in confusion before reading the note again. 

Start trying?  Start trying what?

He pushed the door open and froze as he looked around the room.

The filmy white curtains allowed sunlight to spill though the window, highlighting the light green paint on the walls and ceiling.

He stepped inside, immediately feeling the extra padding beneath the soft white carpet.

He swallowed hard, taking in the light colored oak furniture.

A huge teddy bear sat in the corner, next to a rocking chair and a floor lamp.

He walked over to it, ran his hand over the soft fur on its head.

Fuzz.

He remembered Fuzz as though it were yesterday. 

They’d been dating for about a year when he’d talked her into flying to New York with him for a few days.

They’d walked into FAO Schwartz and she hadn’t been able to stop looking at the stuffed animal.

“I always wanted one of these when I was a kid.”

She sighed and closed her eyes as she rested her cheek against the bear’s fuzzy forehead, her arms going around it to give it a squeeze.

“That thing is nearly as big as you are.”

She looked over at him, a grin on her face.  “All the more fuzz to hug.”

He took one look at her hugging the bear and couldn’t keep the soft smile from spreading across his face.

He discretely checked the tag on the bear closest to him and made eye contact with a sales clerk, who came over quickly.

He slipped the clerk a few bills and whispered “Keep the change, man.”

She sighed again, then opened her eyes and reluctantly backed away from the bear.

“I guess we should move on, huh?”

He stepped up next to her.

“I think it’d probably be easier if we went ahead and took Fuzz back to the hotel before we find something for dinner, don’t you?”

She stared at him for a second.  “Really?”

He smiled down at her.  “Yeah.”

She stepped into him, wrapping her arms around his waist and kissing his cheek.

“You shouldn’t have done that, J.”

She looked over at the bear and then back at him, her face lighting up with her smile.

“Thank you.”

He pulled her closer with one arm and brought his other hand up to tuck her hair behind her ear, out of her face.

“I’ll do anything to get you to smile at me like that.”

She arched an eyebrow at him, a devilish look coming into her eyes.  “Anything, huh?”

His eyes flicked back and forth between her eyes and her lips as he lowered his head. 

“For that smile?  Absolutely.”

She laughed softly, coming up on her toes to meet him halfway, pressing her lips to his, not caring that they were standing in the middle of a toy store.

He pulled back slowly and rested his cheek against her temple, his eyes landing on the huge bear.

“Eat your heart out, Fuzz.”

He knelt down, burying his face in the soft, clean fur on the bear’s head.

She’d once said that she would be able to pass Fuzz on to her own children.

And here the bear sat, in a corner of what would have been her nursery . . . their nursery.

He stood and walked over to the crib, his trembling fingers running across the smooth wood as he looked down at the stuffed Winnie the Pooh sitting on the yellow blanket.

Can we start trying as soon as it’s official?

He took a deep, shaky breath as he turned to look at the rocking chair.

In his mind, he could see her sitting there, rocking slowly with their baby in her arms, the smile that he knew so well softening her face.

“Oh, God . . .”

He fell to his knees on the soft carpet, vaguely aware of the music playing underneath his shirt, curling into himself as if he could protect himself from the pain . . .

And he finally let everything fall apart.

----------------------------------------

Two days later, he was back in New York, sitting on a couch in the recording studio, a notebook in his lap and a pen in his hand as he stared into space.

“Hey, man . . . you have any ideas on what we should do for the Movie Awards?”

His head jerked up at the sound of JC’s voice.

“What movie awards?”

“Oh, that’s right . . . you missed the meeting.”

Justin shook his head in confusion.

“What meeting?”

“Don’t worry about it.  The MTV people want us for a special tribute thing at this year’s Movie Awards.  The taping is in, like, three days or something.”

“What’s the tribute?”

JC flipped through some papers he held in his hands.  “It’s a tribute to the best romantic movies of the past decade or century or something like that.  They sent us a tape of the montage . . . it’s basically just muted scenes of some movies and photos of celebrity couples and stuff.  Kinda cheesy, but it’ll give us a great opportunity to pull out some of the new material.  Maybe the ballad we worked on last week.”

“The MTV Movie Awards, huh?”  His eyes fell down to his notebook, skimming over the words on the page.  “What about something even newer?”

His friend’s eyes narrowed.  “What have you got?”

“Here.”  He held out the notebook.  “I know you’ve been dying to see it.”

JC took the notebook and stood still, quietly reading the lyrics, his eyes widening as he went.

“Man . . . is this what you’ve been working on since you came back?”

Justin leaned back on the couch cushions, yawning as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Yeah.  What do you think?”

“This is fantastic, Justin.  Do you have an arrangement in the works?”

“Piano alone on the first verse, with violin and percussion picking up on the first chorus and electric guitar coming in on the second verse.”  He closed his eyes.  “Maybe some support from the strings for the first verse.  I’m not sure.  I can hear it, I just haven’t gotten it on paper yet.”

JC looked him over, taking in the severe black circles around his eyes and his exhausted posture.

“If we can get the band together now and pull an all-nighter, we could probably get it finished by tomorrow morning.  Are you up for that?”

Justin sighed and ran a hand over his face.

“Yeah.  It’s not like I’m sleeping anyway.”

“You still haven’t heard from her?”

“No.  It’s like she fell off the face of the Earth.”  He shook his head.  “I get the feeling that Pat has talked to her -- she may even be there -- but she keeps denying it.”  He sighed.  “Can’t really say I blame her for it, though.  I wouldn’t want to talk to me, either.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.  You couldn’t help what happened in L.A. and she knew you’d be distracted because of the recording.”  JC paused for a second.  “Did she know what you were working on?”

“No.  It was supposed to be a surprise, Jace.  I couldn’t just come out and say ‘Hey, I’m spacey because I’m writing a song for the wedding’.”    He stood and took back the notebook.  “Guess it’s a little too late to worry about that now, though.”

“It’ll work out, man.  Just give it a couple of days and I’m sure she’ll come around.”

“I hope you’re right, Jace.”  He stretched for a moment, then started walking for the door.  “Come on, let’s get the guys together and make some music.”

JC followed him out into the hall and then hung back, pulling his cell phone from his pocket.

“I need to make a few calls before we bury ourselves for the night.  You go ahead and start rounding up everybody.  I’ll be there in a minute.”

He watched as the younger man walked down the hallway, the usual confident bounce absent from his stride, before shaking his head and quickly dialing a number.

“Hey, it’s JC.  Listen, I need you to do me a huge favor . . .”

  ----------------------------------------

“Okay, guys . . . two minutes and we’re going to start rolling.”

The stage director ran across the stage, picking up some streamers left over from the last performance, before hopping down the side steps and out of view, leaving the group and band on a dimmed stage.

“Cue the applause!” 

The crowd started cheering and clapping loudly.

“And we’re rolling!”

Justin stood quietly in the darkness, eyes closed, not even paying the slightest bit of attention to whoever was giving their introduction.

Please, God . . . let her be watching.

His eyes opened as a spotlight came up, casting a bright light over JC, who was sitting at the piano, and keeping the violinist shadowed.

As the intro to the song began, his hand came up and pulled the chain out from underneath his shirt, exposing the ring and music box to the cameras.

And then a second spotlight came up, lighting the area a few feet in front of him, just waiting for him to reveal himself.

He took a deep breath and stepped into the light, bringing the mic up and closing his eyes as he began to sing.

You waved Your hand and it was done
Said let it be and there it was
A mountain so high
It broke through the sky
A canyon so deep
It’d bring a man to his knees

The spotlights widened, revealing the entire band as Lance, Joey and Chris stepped up next to him for the chorus.

I’ve seen what You can do
I’ve seen You make miracles
And hopeless dreams come true
You made the heavens and the stars
Everything – come on, how hard could it be
To make her love me?

He stepped forward and began walking across the front of the stage, his eyes stopping on the screens showing the montage of movie clips and pictures before turning back out to the audience, his hand fisting in the front of his shirt as the words flowed from him.

I did some things I shouldn’t have*
I’ll try anything to win her back*
I’m human, I messed up
Is she gone? Are we done?
Forgiveness, another chance
That’s all I want, it’s in Your hands

I’ve seen what You can do
I’ve seen You make miracles
And hopeless dreams come true
You made the heavens and the stars
Everything – come on, how hard could it be
To make her love me?

He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, holding out the high note as long as he could before opening his eyes to look at the ceiling.

His hand came up to clutch around the necklace as the electric guitar solo came to an end, and he began the final chorus alone.

I’ve seen what You can do
I’ve seen You make miracles
And hopeless dreams come true
You made the heavens and the stars
Everything – come on, how hard could it be
To make her love me?

He went silent, letting the others have the first tag as the song wound down.

To make her love me

Then he focused on the screens again, his eyes widening when he saw a picture of himself and Valerie displayed for the world to see.

They had their arms around each other and she was grinning at the camera while he had his face turned and was smiling at her instead.

He swallowed hard, his eyes fixed on the image as he added the last tag, his voice quavering.

To make her love me

The song ended and the spotlights cut out, leaving them in darkness before the house lights came up.

The audience was on its feet, cheering and applauding as the guys took a bow and waved before running off the stage and to the backstage area.

He exchanged back slaps with his band mates, attempted a few smiles for the backstage cameras and shook hands with a few people who stopped him on his way to the room where they’d left their things.

He closed the door behind him and walked to the table in the middle of the room, where he grabbed up his phone, his breath coming faster when he saw the blinking light indicating he had new messages.

He flipped the phone open and pressed the keys, then held his breath as he waited for the message to play.

His knees went weak and he collapsed into a chair when he heard her watery voice.

“J . . . oh, God.  Don’t move, Justin.  I’m coming to you.”

He let out a shaky sigh and ran his hand over his face.

I’m coming to you . . .