Chapter 4

THE WORLD WAS ENDING, HE FELT LIKE THE EARTH WAS SOMEHOW GOING TO OPEN AND SWALLOW HIM, EVERYTHING HE WORKED SO HARD FOR WAS GOING TO BE GONE MORE SOONER THAN LATER

Dr. Nicoletti: I know this is extremely hard to process and I am so sorry

JUSTIN WASN'T TALKING, HE WASN'T EVEN MOVING

Dr. Nicoletti: are you ok son?

Justin: apparently not

Dr. Nicoletti: look you are more than welcome to get a second opinion……a lot of patients feel the need to do that but

Justin: it's ok I trust you, so how bad is it, and please I ask that you be honest

Dr. Nicoletti: it's in the advance stage, the tumor has spread all over your body, it originated in your knee and that's why you have been feeling that strong pain in your knee, we could start chemotherapy and other types of treatment right away

Justin: would that kill the tumor?

Dr. Nicoletti: I'm afraid not, advanced stage means that there is nothing we can do but what chemotherapy can do is make you feel better and keep you alive a few more days maybe even weeks if we are lucky, the tumor has been there for quite some time now justin, was yesterday the first time you had that pain?

Justin: the pain in my knee started about 6 years ago but at the beginning it was just a minor pain that I thought was muscle pain so every once a while whenever the pain would come I would take painkillers and it was gone, I didn't know

Dr. Nicoletti: it was your body's way of telling you something was wrong

HE DIDN'T DARE ASK THE QUESTION THAT WAS ON HIS MIND BUT HE KNEW THAT SOMEHOW HE HAD TO

Justin: so how long do I have doctor

DOCTOR NICOLETTI HESITATED BEFORE TELLING HIM THAT SOON EVERYTHING WAS GOING TO END

Dr. Nicoletti: well

Justin: it's ok doctor I can handle it

Dr. Nicoletti: 3 weeks, 4 the most......listen son I know how hard all of this is and I know that right now you think all of this is just a bad dream and that you are going to wake up soon just let me help you, the reality is that any type of therapy won't do much but we can try to make it more than 3 or 4 weeks

HIS MIND WAS BLANK, HIS SKIN WAS EVEN MORE PALE IF THAT WAS EVEN POSSIBLE, HOW DID ALL OF THIS HAPPEN? WHAT WOULD HE TELL HIS MOTHER, DOMINICK, NATALIA AND OH GOD HOW COULD HE EVEN GO HOME TO MARIAM, HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO HER, HE COULDN'T LEAVE HER ALONE, THE DOCTOR KEPT TALKING BUT JUSTIN WASN'T EVEN THERE ANYMORE, HE WAS NOW IN ANOTHER WORLD, A WORLD FULL OF QUESTIONS, WHAT IF I WOULD'VE GONE TO THE DOCTOR THE FIRST TIME I FELT THE PAIN? WHY DID I HAVE TO IGNORE IT? HOW CAN I EVER TELL MARIAM THIS? HE CLOSED HIS EYES TRYING TO ERASE THE QUESTIONS BUT FAILED THE ATTEMPT

AFTER WHAT IT SEEMS LIKE ETERNITY, HE WENT HOME TO MARIAM

A GYPSY VILLAGE, SHE'S NEVER EVEN SEEN ONE BEFORE, IT LOOKED LIKE THEY WERE HAVING A CELEBRATION OR A FESTIVAL, WHAT WAS SHE DOING THERE?, WAS SHE DREAMING AGAIN?

GYPSY WOMAN: HELLO DEAR

MARIAM: WHO ARE YOU?

GYPSY WOMAN: IM HERE TO HELP YOU

MARIAM: THANKS BUT I DON'T NEED HELP

GYPSY WOMAN: OH I THINK YOU DO, I CAN SEE THE FEAR IN YOUR EYES

MARIAM: WHAT?ARE YOU GOING TO TRY TELL ME THAT HE DOESN'T BELONG WITH ME OR THAT ITS TIME FOR HIM TO GO OR SOME STUPID SHIT LIKE THAT?

GYPSY WOMAN: NO DEAR, GIVE ME YOUR LEFT HAND

MARIAM DID WHAT THE MUCH OLDER WOMAN ASKED HER TO DO, SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHY BUT ONCE AGAIN SHE WAS HAVING ONE OF THOSE VERY WEIRD DREAMS, SHE LOOKED AT THE WOMAN'S FACE TO FIND A MIXTURE OF EMOTIONS

MARIAM: WHAT?!

GYPSY WOMAN: I SEE A VERY SAD PAST, A PERFECT BUT SOON TO BE DESTROYED PRESENT AND A VERY SAD, CONFUSING FUTURE

MARIAM: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

GYPSY WOMAN: YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION, YOU CAN EITHER GO TO THE PAST AND TRY TO CHANGE IT OR YOU CAN STAY IN THE PRESENT AND DEAL WITH YOUR PROBLEMS

MARIAM TURNED AROUND TO LEAVE

GYPSY WOMAN: WAIT, I SEE SOMETHING ELSE, YOUR DREAMS ARE VISIONS OF EVERY EVENT IN YOUR LIFE, YOU HAVE ALWAYS HAD THEM, EVEN IF YOU CANNOT REMEMBER THAT NOW

MARIAM OPENED HER EYES TO FIND AN EMPTY SPACE NEXT TO HER, SHE GOT OUT OF BED AND LEFT THE ROOM, ON HER WAY TO THE KITCHEN SHE STOPPED IN THE LIVING ROOM WHEN SHE NOTICED JUSTIN SITTING ON THE SOFA ALL BY HIMSELF

Mariam: hey, I thought you went to work, what happened? Why did you come back?

Justin: didn't feel like working today

Mariam: well today is my day off

Justin: you don't any days off

Mariam: well I'm making it my day off

MARIAM WAS SITTING NEXT TO HIM AND ALL HE COULD DO WAS STARE, HOW IN THE WORLD WOULD HE TELL HER?

Mariam: you know I was thinking that maybe we should take a few days off and go to Greece, I've always wanted to go there but you already know that, how about if I talk to Barry and after I'm done promoting Sarah Mclachlan and Outkast we take 2 weeks off and go, what do you think?

Justin: you'll be done promoting both of them in at least 6 months

Mariam: I know baby but we have all the time in the world and those six months can go by really fast

JT CLOSED HIS EYES, SHE DIDN'T KNOW THAT THEY DIDN'T HAVE TIME AT ALL, OH GOD HE KNEW HE WAS GOING TO HURT HER, HE KNEW THAT PART OF HER WAS GOING TO DIE ONCE HE WAS GONE, HE NEEDED TO TALK TO SOMEBODY BUT NOT HER, HE WASN'T READY TO BREAK HER HEART, TO SEE HER CRY, HE NEEDED TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE

Mariam: justin, are you ok? You look sad, talk to me

Justin: I have to go somewhere

HE GOT UP AND WALKED STRAIGHT TO THE DOOR

Mariam: justin, wait, where are you going??????

HE SHUT THE DOOR AND DIDN'T LOOK BACK

Mariam: Randall!!!!! Get back here!!!!!!!!

HE KNEW SHE WOULD BE MAD AT HIM LATER BUT NOW HE NEEDED TO GO TO DOMINICK AND NATALIA EVEN IF THE TERRIBLE NEWS WAS DEFINITELY GOING TO KILL HIS TWO BESTFRIENDS, HE LOOKED AT HIS CELL PHONE, SHE WAS CALLING OVER AND OVER AGAIN BUT HE WASN'T GOING TO PICK UP, HE ARRIVED AT DJ'S TO FIND BOTH OF THEM WAITING FOR HIM

Dominick: hey, what is the matter with you?

Natalia: Mariam called saying that you were probably coming here and that you just walked out on her, are you ok?

Justin: I need to talk to you guys

ONCE THEY WERE ALL INSIDE THE HOUSE JUSTIN KEPT TRYING TO FIND THE RIGHT WORDS TO TELL THEM

Justin: I, I don't know how to say this

Dominick: what's wrong man

Justin: I never thought this would happen to me so I don't know how to

Natalia: justin, you are shaking, what the hell happened?

Justin: I have a tumor and

Dominick: what?

Justin: it's spread all over me and

Natalia: justin, this is not very funny so stop

Justin: I'm not trying to be funny, not this time

Natalia: you are not joking are you?

JUSTIN COULD SEE THE PAIN IN THEIR FACES AND KNEW THAT IT WASN'T GOING TO BE AN EASY PROCESS, HE FELT HORRIBLE WHEN NATALIA STOOD UP AND WENT UPSTAIRS

Dominick: how long have you known?

Justin: just found out today.....my knee started hurting again so I decided to go to the doctor

Dominick: god man I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do

Justin: don't do or say anything right now

DOMINICK SAW HOW JUSTIN STOOD UP AND WENT UPSTAIRS, HE WAS STILL IN SHOCK AND DIDN'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO SAY OR DO, HE FELT THE TEARS COMING, HE CLOSED HIS EYES

JUSTIN OPENED THE DOOR TO LITTLE VERONICA'S ROOM AND SAW NATALIA SEATING ON A CHAIR HOLDING HER DAUGHTER, HE STEPPED INSIDE AND GOT CLOSER TO HER ONLY TO FIND HER CRYING

Justin: nata

Natalia: she doesn't know does she?

Justin: no she doesn't know yet

Natalia: god, this is going to kill her justin

Justin: I know, how you doing?

Natalia: do you have to ask?

Justin: I know this is hard

Natalia: I hate to even ask but

Justin: 3 or 4 weeks

Natalia: oh god justin, what about chemotherapy? I'm sure that can help you

Justin: it will only make me feel better and keep me alive a few extra days

Dominick: then we'll do that, and we'll try different things if we have to but we are going to fight this

NATALIA AND JUSTIN LOOK AT THE DOOR TO FIND DOMINICK STARING AT THEM

Justin: there isn't much we can do

Natalia: that's not true; we are going to do everything it takes

Justin: thanks guys

AN HOUR LATER JUSTIN STILL WASN'T ANSWERING HIS CELL PHONE AND MARIAM KEPT CALLING NATALIA'S HOUSE BUT FOR SOME MYSTERIOUS REASON NOBODY WOULD ANSWER EITHER, SHE DECIDED SHE WOULD JUST GO TO THEIR HOUSE

Dominick: you have to tell her JT

Justin: I can't, do you have any idea what that woman means to me? She is my life DJ and to see her cry or suffer, I don't think I can handle that

Dominick: what kind of question is that? Of course I know what she means to you

Natalia: she needs to know JT you cannot go through this alone I mean we'll be there but it won't be the same

Dominick: I agree you have to tell her

Mariam: tell me what?

JUSTIN, NATA AND DJ LOOKED UP TO FIND MARIAM STANDING THERE OUTSIDE OF THE BABY'S ROOM

Mariam: justin what is going on? I mean at first you look all sad and then you took off just like that and I called you but you did not come back

Justin: Mariam baby

Mariam: wait let me finish, I kept calling your phone and you didn't answer then I called this house and what a coincidence they weren't answering either and

Natalia: maybe we should leave you guys alone

Dominick: yeah I think that's a good idea

Justin: no it's ok I need the both of you here so I can do this

Mariam: do what?

Justin: baby come here and sit here with me

JUSTIN MADE HER SEAT IN THE SAME CHAIR THAT NATALIA WAS SITTING ON EARLIER, THIS WAS GOING TO BE THE HARDEST THING HE EVER HAD TO DO

Justin: beautiful I have something to tell you

Mariam: ok

Justin: mariam this is going to hurt you but

Mariam: oh god, are you trying to tell me that there is somebody else? Is that why you were acting strange earlier? Justin if that is what you are going to tell me then I don't want to hear it, I don't think that I can take that

JUSTIN COULD ALREADY SEE THE TEARS IN HER EYES, HE KNEW SHE WAS NERVOUS

Justin:...it's nothing like that, come on you know I would never do that to you

Mariam: I know I'm sorry

Justin: I had that pain in my knee again and this time it was really and so I went to the doctor and

Mariam: what is it?

NATALIA WAS RIGHT BEHIND JUSTIN, SHE KNEW HER FRIEND'S LIFE WAS NEVER GOING TO BE THE SAME AFTER HEARING WHAT HER HUSBAND WAS ABOUT TO SAY

Justin: I have a tumor

NATALIA LOOKED AT HER BESTFRIEND'S PALE FACE AND SHE ONLY WISHED SHE COULD SAVE HER FROM ALL THE FUTURE PAIN AND MISERY THAT WAS COMING TOWARDS HER