Chapter 9

Barry: wake up Mariam

ANOTHER WEEK HAD PASSED BY SINCE MARIAM AND NATALIA HAD THEIR LAST CONVERSATION. MARIAM REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING HER FRIEND SAID AND SHE DECIDED TO STOP WITH THE DRINKING BUT THE WORK ADDICTION ISSUE WAS SOMETHING DIFFERENT. SHE WASN'T ABOUT TO LEAVE THE ONLY THING THAT WAS STOPPING HER FROM THINKING ABOUT WHAT HAPPENNED, 24 HOURS A DAY. SO WHILE HER WORK ADDICTION CONTINUED BARRY KEPT LOOKING FOR AN ASISTANT WITHOUT HER KNOWING. HE REALLY WAS WORRY ABOUT HER AND FRUSTATED THAT MARIAM WOULDN'T TAKE ANY BREAKS OR ALLOW HERSELF TO DO ANYTHING ELSE

Barry: Mariam open your eyes. Wake up

ONCE AGAIN MARIAM HAD STAYED IN HER OFFICE WORKING EXTRA HOURS AND CLEARLY SLEPT IN THE OFFICE

Mariam: hey. What time is it?

Barry: time for you to go home

Mariam: what?

Barry: I'm sending you home

Mariam: why?

Barry: because once again you slept in here meaning that you were probably working until early hours of the morning, you are tired plus I don't need you here today so take the day off

Mariam: well I have quite a few things to do today so I'm afraid I won't be able to take the day off

Barry: ok well now you have to go home

Mariam: I told you I don't want to go home Barry

Barry: well now I'm not asking you, I'm ordering you to go home

Mariam: I'm not going anywhere

BARRY WAS NOW REALLY FRUSTATED. HE PICKED UP THE PHONE FROM MARIAM'S DESK

Barry: Ana do me a favor please? Call security

Mariam: WHAT?? You got to be kidding me!!!!

Barry: either you go home and rest or I'll make you go home and rest. You decide!!

Mariam: but

Barry: no excuses!!

Mariam: who is going to do my job??

Barry: that's not of your concern today. I'm ordering you to go home now

Mariam: well it doesn't matter what you order me Barry because today is Rachel's press conference downtown and she needs me there so guess what? I'm not going home

MARIAM PICKED UP HER PURSE AND HER CAR KEYS

Mariam: I will go home now Barry but only to take a shower and then I'll be on my way downtown. Bye Barry

BARRY SAW HIS FRIEND LEAVE HER OFFICE AND THEN ASKED ANA TO DIAL A NUMBER FOR HIM

Barry: hey Nat

Natalia: hey Barry. What's up?

Barry: how are you doing? How is Vero?

Natalia: good. We are all doing very good

Barry: good. Hey I need you to give me a phone number

Natalia: whose?

Barry: Dr. Nicoletti

Natalia: ok

AFTER THE PRESS CONFERENCE MARIAM ACCOMPANIED RACHEL AND HER MANAGER TO SOME RADIO INTERVIEWS AND TV APPEARANCES. SHE DID NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO THE OFFICE AND FACE BARRY AND SHE DEFENITELY DID NOT WANT TO GO BACK HOME. SHE FINALLY GOT HOME AROUND 4 IN THE MORNING AND AFTER OPENING THE DOOR AND DROPPING THE KEYS ON THE TABLE, MARIAM WENT STRAIGHT TO THE PHONE

You have 2 new messages. Message number one, two o'clock: hey it's lynn. Just calling to see how you were doing. I know that you are very busy and all but give me a call sometime. Love you. Bye. Message number two, eight o'clock: hi mariam it's doctor nicoletti. I was wondering if you have some free time, I need to speak to you about something really important. I hope you call me soon. Bye.

MARIAM PRESSED THE DELETE BUTTON TWICE, TOOK HER SHOES OFF AND WENT TO TAKE A SHOWER.
A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER SHE DECIDED TO GO SEE DR. NICOLETTI. HE TOLD HER THAT BARRY HAD CALLED HIM, HE TOLD HER HOW EVERYBODY WAS WORRY ABOUT HER AND HOW SHE WASN'T LETTING HERSELF MOVE ON. HE TOLD HER HOW IN THE LONG RUN NOT DEALING WITH THINGS WOULD NOT BE GOOD FOR HER AT ALL. AFTER TALKING A LOT HE CONVINCED HER TO LET HIM HELP HER. DR. NICOLETTI SUGGESTED THAT SHE SEE A PSYCHOLOGIST

Mariam: a psychologist?? Don't you think that's a little too much. I'm not crazy you know

DR. NICOLETTI LAUGHED

Dr. nicoletti: I didn't say you were crazy. It's just that whenever we are in a emotional rollercoaster we need somebody to talk to and that will helps us deal with everything. He is like a therapist

Mariam: he??

Dr. nicoletti: yes. Dr. Standback is great. He is actually the best psychologist out there.

Mariam: I don't know about this. How do you expect me to talk about personal and private things to a person let along a man

DOCTOR NICOLETTI SMILED AND GAVE HER A CARD

Dr. nicoletti: you'll be fine. Here this is his card. Any time you feel like it give him a call and he'll see you right away. He owes me a favor. I'm going to call him this afternoon and let him know so he'll be expecting your call mariam

Mariam: great. Just great. are you sure about this?

Dr. nicoletti: positive

Mariam: thanks. You are the best

Dr. nicoletti: bye

THAT NIGHT SHE WAS IN HER OFFICE WHEN SOMEONE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR

Mariam: come in

Dominick: hey

Mariam: hey. How you doing?

Dominick: I'm good. Haven't see you in a long time

Mariam: I know and I'm sorry. It's all my fault

Dominick: it really is

Mariam: shut up

DJ SMILED AND SAT ON THE COUCH THAT MARIAM HAD IN HER OFFICE

Dominick: come here. Seat next to me

MARIAM GOT UP FROM THE CHAIR AND SAT NEXT TO DOMINICK

Dominick: do you remember the first time we all met?

MARIAM SMILED AND CLOSED HER EYES FOR A FEW SECONDS

Mariam: of course I do. You, Natalia and Justin already worked here and I was just an intern. That night you were all going home like me so I got in the same elevator that you guys were in. I remember you and Nat were yelling at each other over something and Justin

Dominick: all he could do was look at you. Like usual he turned on his charms and asked your name and phone number

Mariam: I wasn't going to give it to him but then he smiled and that did it. I couldn't look away I just couldn't so I gave it to him

Dominick: next thing you know the four of us would hang out 'till dawn.

Mariam: remember all the crazy things we did?? All those parties??

Dominick: yeah. Man those were some really good times. Until you and Justin kissed for the first time

MARIAM STARTED LAUGHING

Dominick: after that all you guys did was make out. It was discussing!!

Mariam: no it wasn't!!

Dominick: of course you would say that! I remember that night after he kissed you for the first time he told me to get used to seeing you guys together because you were the woman he was going to marry. That man loved you more than life itself

Mariam: I know. how are Nata and Vero?

Dominick: good. She is sorry for what she said you know. You know she didn't mean it. and you know better than anybody that Justin would never, never hate you. You could be the worse drunk woman in the world and he would still love your ass

Mariam: I know and don't worry I don't blame her. I know she didn't mean it and I deserved to hear it because I was acting like a bitch

Dominick: yeah you were. you weren't the only one who lost him mariam, we did too

Mariam: I know

Dominick: and now it's just the three of us and we don't want you to go through this alone

MARIAM GAVE DJ AND HUG AND A KISS ON THE CHEEK

Mariam: I love you

Dominick: I know I mean what isn't there to love

Mariam: you know no wonder you and Randall were such good friends. Tell me did you guys went to an I love me school or something?

Dominick: whatever

Mariam: I've been thinking a lot lately and I'm going to do what doctor nicoletti suggested. He said I should see a psychologist

Dominick: well if he thinks that's going to help you then we are all here for you

Mariam: thanks punk

Dominick: my pleasure

DOMINICK STOOD FROM THE COUCH READY TO GO

Dominick: got to go now. You know I won't hear the end of it if I get home late

Mariam: alright bye.

Dominick: bye beautiful

Mariam: hey. Tell nata that I'll stop by this weekend

Dominick: alright

AFTER DJ LEFT SHE WENT BACK TO HER COMFORTABLE LEATHER CHAIR. SHE LOOKED AT THE CLOCK ON THE TABLE AND IT SAID 9:30. SHE WONDERED IF IT WAS TOO LATE TO CALL THAT DOCTOR NOW. IN THE CARD THAT DR. NICOLETTI HAD GIVEN HER THERE WAS A CELL PHONE NUMBER SO SHE DECIDED SHE WAS GOING TO CALL THAT NUMBER

Dr. Standback: dr. Standback how may I help you?

Mariam: hi. My name is mariam and

Dr. Standback: I know who you are. dr. nicoletti told me all about you and your case

Mariam: ok good I guess. I'm sorry for calling so late

Dr. Standback: it's ok. Really. So mariam how may I help you?

Mariam: I was wondering if I could schedule an appointment to see you

Dr. Standback: when can you come see me

Mariam: well whenever you have the time dr. Standback

Dr. Standback: how about tomorrow? At 2 in the afternoon?

Mariam: sounds good. Thank you and I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight

THE NEXT MORNING MARIAM CALLED BARRY'S OFFICE AND TOLD HIM THAT SHE WAS TAKING THE DAY OFF AND SHE TOLD HIM ABOUT THE PSYCHOLOGIST. 10 MINUTES LATER SHE WENT DOWNSTAIRS TO THE KITCHEN AND STARTED MAKING BREAKFAST. IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE SHE MADE ANYTHING IN THAT KITCHEN. AROUND 1 PM SHE STARTED GETTING READY AND 20 MINUTES LATER SHE LEFT THE HOUSE AND WENT TO DR. STANDBACK'S CLINIC. WHEN SHE ARRIVED THERE WAS NOBODY IN THE CLINIC BUT THE DOCTOR AND HIS SECRETARY.

Dr. Standback: take a seat

MARIAM LOOKED AROUND THE OFFICE. THERE WAS A DESK ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE ROOM AND ON THE RIGHT SIDE THERE WAS A LEATHER CHAIR AND NEXT TO IT THERE WAS A COUCH. INMEDIATELY SHE WENT TO SEAT ON THE COUCH

Mariam: so how do we do this? Is it like in the movies that I lay down on the couch and tell you about all the drama in my life while you seat next or behind me in your leather chair taking notes of everything I say?

THE YOUNG PSYCHOLOGIST SMILED AT WHAT MARIAM HAD SAID

Standback: well if it makes you feel comfortable we can do it like that. Some people lay down because they are not comfortable looking at me while they tell me about their lives but after the first few sections they all get used to me.

Mariam: ok. I'll do that

Standback: ok. Good. Let's get started then

MARIAM STARTED TO LAY DOWN WHEN SHE SAW HIM TAKE A NOTEBOOK AND PEN AND SEAT ON THAT CHAIR BEHIND HER

Standback: ok so how about you tell me a little bit about your life before you married your husband

Mariam: ok

SHE TOLD HIM EVERYTHING ABOUT HER LIFE BEFORE SHE MET JUSTIN. SHE TOLD HIM ABOUT HER CHILDHOOD AND HER LIFE AND PROBLEMS AS A TEENAGER

Standback: so how was the first time you met your husband?

Mariam: it was heaven on earth

AT FIRST SHE FELT A LITTLE WEIRD TELLING SOME STRANGER ALL ABOUT HER LIFE AND HER MOMENTS WITH JUSTIN BUT AFTER A WHILE SHE GOT COMFORTABLE AND PRETENDED SHE WAS ALONE IN THE ROOM, THAT MADE IT EASIER FOR HER. IN AN HOUR SHE TOLD DR. STANDBACK ALL ABOUT HER LIFE WITH AND WITHOUT JUSTIN. SHE ANSWERED EVERY QUESTION DR. STANDBACK HAD

Standback: I think we are done for today

Mariam: ok. So I just go home now, don't you have anything to tell me?

Dr. Standback: drive safe

Mariam: I thought you were supposed to help me you know give me answers or something

Standback: be patient. This sort of things don't fix themselves in just one section. See you tomorrow

Mariam: ok. Bye

MARIAM GOT HOME AND CALLED LYNN. FOR THE NEXT TWO HOURS BOTH WOMEN TALKED ABOUT PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING. LYNN TOLD HER THAT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA SHE WAS SEEING A PSYCHOLOGIST AND MARIAM PROMISED HER TO VISIT HER IN TENNESSEE AS SOON AS SHE HAD SOME FREE TIME. THE NEXT DAY SHE WENT TO WORK BUT ASKED BARRY IF SHE COULD LEAVE EARLY TO GO TO HER APPOINMENT WITH DR. STANDBACK

Barry: ok. That's more than fine

Mariam: thanks

Ana: excuse me mariam? Do you still want me to buy lunch for you

Mariam: no thank you. I haven't been feeling very good and this morning I vomited right after I ate breakfast so I don't want to risk it again

Mariam: not even tuna sandwich your favorite?

Mariam: please don't say tuna again if I hear that one more time I'm going to vomit again

Barry: are you ok??

Mariam: I'm just not very hungry

SHE GOT TO THE CLINIC AROUND 1:45

Standback: so how long ago did he pasted away?

Mariam: it's been a month

Standback: so how about you tell me how you felt when you found out that your husband had cancer

LIKE THE DAY BEFORE MARIAM LAID DOWN ON THE COUCH AND GOT COMFORTABLE BEFORE SHE WENT ON AND TOLD HIM ALL ABOUT HER FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS AND HOW SHE HELPED JUSTIN DURING HIS SICKNESS

Standback: it's been an hour. We are done for today

MARIAM TRIED TO STAND UP BUT FELT A LITTLE DIZZY AND FELL ON THE COUCH AGAIN

Standback: are you ok?

Mariam: yes

Standback: are you sure?

Mariam: yes I'm fine. Thank you and

Standback: I'll see you next week

Mariam: why not tomorrow?

Standback: the first two sections are always like that. One is the first day and the other one is the day after it. after that the sections are weekly.

Mariam: ok then I'll see you next week

IT WAS A FRIDAY AFTERNOON AND FOR SOME REASON SHE DIDN'T FEEL LIKE GOING BACK TO J/A RECORDS SO SHE WENT STRAIGHT HOME.
AS SOON AS SHE OPENED THE DOOR MARIAM HAD TO RUN TO THE BATHROOM TO STOP HERSELF FROM VOMITING ON THE FLOOR. AFTER BEING IN THERE FOR 15 MINUTES SHE CAME OUT OF THE BATHROOM FEELING A LITTLE SICK.

Mariam: that's it. I'm calling dr. nicoletti

NEXT MORNING MARIAM DESPERATELY WAITED FOR DR. NICOLETTI TO COME BACK TO HIS OFFICE. SHE HAD BEEN IN THERE FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES AND THE WAITING WAS KILLING HER. SHE JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF HER SUSPICIONS WERE TRUE. AS SOON AS SHE HEARD THE DOOR OPENED SHE TURNED AROUND

Mariam: so?

Dr. nicoletti: congratulations

Mariam: so I'm pregnant???

Dr. nicoletti: you are indeed a very pregnant lady

MARIAM SMILED

Dr. nicoletti: you are two months pregnant. Do you have any idea how lucky you are?

Mariam: I know

Dr. nicoletti: no you don't know. Those first 2 or 3 weeks of your pregnancy you drank and didn't eat properly. Now normally that could affect the baby's health but in your case luck is all around you because according to our tests everything is fine. So keep it that way. Eat like you are supposed. I will talk to Barry and he'll send you home if he has to but you cannot work all those hours like you used. You got to take care of your baby now

Mariam: yes sir

Dr. nicoletti: I'm serious!

MARIAM WAS HAPPY. SHE STOOD UP AND GAVE DR. NICOLETTI A HUG

Mariam: I know and I thank you very much for caring and for being there not only for Justin but also for me. Thank you

Dr. nicoletti: my pleasure. Now get out of here and I want you back in one month

Mariam: ok

Dr. nicoletti: hey before you leave. How are things with Dr. Standback? Is he helping you deal with things?

Mariam: he is ok

Dr. nicoletti: what do you mean he is ok. He is the best in the field

Mariam: I sure hope so. Bye.

MARIAM CAME OUT OF THE CLINIC SMILING, SOON SHE WAS ALSO LAUGHING LIKE A LITTLE GIRL. SHE WAS SIMPLY HAPPY. SHE WALKED ACROSS THE STREET TO THE PARKING LOT TO FIND HER CAR. AS SOON AS SHE ENTERED THE CAR A FEELING OF SADNESS CAME OVER HER, TEARS FELL DOWN HER FACE AND PAST MEMORIES TOOK OVER HER MIND.

Justin: I've been thinking

Mariam: oh oh

Justin: what? what's wrong? what it is?

Mariam: thinking?? that's not good for you. that could hurt your brain you know

Justin: funny. you got jokes now

Mariam: ok. what's wrong??

Justin: well I think I could be a great father you know and seeing Dominick and Natalia so happy makes me wanna be that happy you know??

Mariam: yes I know. I want a baby too. I have been wanting one for a very long time now but I wasn't sure if we were ready, if you were ready

Justin: I am

Mariam: so? does this mean that we are going to try to get pregnant?

Justin: yes

BETWEEN THE TEARS SHE SMILED. IF ONLY JUSTIN WAS ALIVE. SHE WAS PRETTY SURE HE WOULD'VE BEEN A GREAT FATHER. THE BEST ONE. MARIAM LOOKED DOWN AND WITH HER LEFT HAND SHE TOUCHED HER STOMACH

Mariam: I am so sorry you won't know him. But don't worry sweetheart because I am going to make sure you know who he was.